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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022665">Flourish</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cicisears/pseuds/cicisears'>cicisears</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>CQL SocMed College Alternate Universe [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>MDZS, cql, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Casual bed sharing, Closeted Character, College Life, Found Family, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Lots of drinking, M/M, NSFW, Parent Death, Pining, Secret Relationship, Sexy times implied, Super Minor Character Death, and Fluff!, as in dick sucking, bed sharing, closeted guy didn't know he was closeted, dicks are mentioned, i'll think of more tags i'm sure, ish, lots of bed sharing, lots of eating mentioned, until it's not casual, very confused gay boys falling in love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:54:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>130,467</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cicisears/pseuds/cicisears</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jin Zixuan and Nie Huaisang have been best friends forever. After a series of “bad decisions”, Zixuan and Huaisang find themselves wondering if they’re really “just friends”... </p><p>Takes place partially before Circles Pt. 1, and then runs alongside it; see what was missed in the background of the main au!<br/>You can read the main au here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29849199/chapters/73447269</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jin Guangyao/Qin Su, Jiāng Yànlí/Wēn Qíng, Jīn Zǐxuān/Niè Huáisāng, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian, Lan XiChen/Jin GuangYao, Lan Xichen/nie Mingjue, Lan Zhan/Wei Ying</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>CQL SocMed College Alternate Universe [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208516</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Profiles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted and completed on Twitter: https://twitter.com/yuchensears/status/1211104240678113281</p><p>Zixuan's Playlist<br/>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4ie9W8Azo2UQWHqyiAScjA?si=211c7dd839db457a</p><p>Huaisang's Playlist<br/>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/692BZmGiyzlT3Cp10d8gaS?si=5260d5753a214409</p><p>Wen Ning's Playlist<br/>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7cxvixChkWkp3ArbmINOHh?si=24a7fd7b3a0d4756</p><p>Wen Qing's Playlist<br/>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3FriyvGCbh4KKxcehAPoYJ?si=a8a114aa0b044efe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This AU is "Modern" in terms of technology and such, but the characters look and dress exactly as they do in The Untamed</p><p>There is a considerable amount of social media posts so important things to note throughout the au:<br/>
-timestamps on twitter and IG should be ignored<br/>
-tweets on the timeline should be read from the bottom to top, but top to bottom for comments, like it would be on twitter<br/>
-I have made my own Jin Ling by merging many faces<br/>
-This story begins before the main story line, and then runs along side it. You may recognize some scenes because of this! (All posts were remade with new profile pictures that I liked better though, INCLUDING using the new Jin Ling's face :D, thanks for coming to my ted talk okay,,,)</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">PROFILES 1: Huaixuan </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">PROFILES 2: Yunmeng Trio </span>
</p><p>  </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">PROFILES 3: The Wens </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">PROFILES 4: The Cuddle Puddle </span>
</p><p>  </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">PROFILES 5: The Jins (ft. the jin ling i made for this universe please forget the other one thanks) </span>
</p><p>  </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">PROFILES 6: The Tall Pretty Ones </span>
</p><p>  </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">PROFILES 7: Good People </span>
</p><p>   </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">PROFILES 8: Bad People </span>
</p><p>  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Getting to Know Huaixuan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jin Zixuan and Nie Huaisang have been best friends longer than most of their friends have been. If it weren’t for Huaisang, Zixuan may not have made the friends that he did. Granted they were nearly all the children of clan leaders, so it was inevitable to have met and at one point or another.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan knew Jiang Yanli the best out of the Yunmeng Trio; after all their parents had intended for them to marry. But he never spared a glance at Jiang Cheng or Wei Wuxian, in fact he quite hated Wei Wuxian without ever really talking to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang on the other hand, had specifically met Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian when they were small. Of course they were all instantly friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wei Wuxian introduced Huaisang to Wen Ning, and with Wen Ning came Wen Qing, his older sister, who quickly took a liking to Yanli. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang and Zixuan had been friends before Huaisang knew the rest, so Huaisang was excited to show him all the different kinds of friends he made throughout the years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Zixuan and Wuxian did not get along. At all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They seemed to be polar opposites but were actually incredibly similar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s close friend back in Lanling, Luo Qingyang, who went by Mianmian among her friends and family, was actually the one who pointed this out to Zixuan after she met the rest of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh you have a big sister too,” Wen Ning asked excitedly. “All our sisters can be friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s not my sister,” Zixuan had pouted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Might as well be, you little jerk,” she kicked him in the butt playfully, causing him to stumble. “I’m Qingyang,” she smiled to Yanli and Wen Qing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> a jerk,” Wuxian scoffed to Jiang Cheng. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian and Zixuan butted heads for </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Nothing Zixuan did was good enough for Wuxian, and nothing Wuxian did was good enough for Zixuan. They were </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupidly </span>
  </em>
  <span>competitive. In everything... when it came to each other anyways. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Whether it was sports, academics, fishing for compliments, or “who was liked more”, they would push the other. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you guys would stop,” Huaisang said one summer in Qinghe, Huaisang’s last summer living there. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They were about 13. </span>
</p><p>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not my fault he’s an arrogant jerk,” Wuxian grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you come up with something new,” Zixuan rolled his eyes. “If anyone is arrogant, it’s you.” Huaisang put his hand on Zixuan’s shoulder to quiet him down.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That summer at camp some kid about their age started making comments about Wuxian not being a “true Jiang”. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Before Wuxian could even open his mouth, Zixuan pushed the kid back and listed off things that he knew about him that were much more shameful or embarrassing than anything Wuxian could relate to yet. “Ignore him,” Zixuan said to Wuxian before walking away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang noticed Wuxian glaring at Zixuan at the bonfire that night, watching him with Yanli and Wen Qing. “He’s not bad,” Huaisang said to Wuxian when he noticed. “He was already pretty nice to begin with, but he’s a lot nicer now.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess,” Wuxian grumbled. He guessed Zixuan wasn’t so bad. Wasn’t so full of himself. Wasn’t so high and mighty. Wasn’t so arrogant. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And Zixuan was nicer than he used to be. Especially within his own family. His friends knew of Meng Yao, just barely. But in his house, Meng Yao was severely disliked. Whether they really disliked him, or whether they were acting as such to keep up appearances with Madam Jin. It didn’t matter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Meng Yao did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> have it easy. His stepmother despised him. And for a while, she encouraged Zixuan to treat him coldly as well.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That is, until Zixuan was old enough to know better; mostly from some angry comments from Mianmian… On numerous occasions. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He would try and redirect her hatred elsewhere, or outright distract her or interrupt her any time he saw her becoming cruel in her words or demands. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Meng Yao, eventually going by Guangyao, was actually quite smart. A lot smarter than his cousins in Carp Tower. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He skipped a grade or two and flew by Zixuan and the rest in school. He might have only skipped a grade or two but on top of his high school classes, he was also taking online college courses. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That was something to be proud of at Carp Tower. Something to boast about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the opportunities he took and excelled at throughout the years, and the number of people with status that he impressed, they had no choice but to put him on a pedestal. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It would look worse for them to not, than for them to keep him around. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was the only person who knew about as much as Zixuan came to know of his brother. “Half-twin,” Huaisang mused aloud looking at their texts. “That’s cute,” he handed back Zixuan’s phone. “Has he called you back?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan replied. “But I think he’s going to end up taking a gap year… Things are a bit crazy right now…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Huaisang tucked his feet under Zixuan and pulled the blanket from the back of the couch over their legs. Zixuan let his knees rest against the back of the couch. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli and Mianmian were just behind Huaisang. They knew the basics of what was going on in Carp Tower. But Zixuan could only tell Huaisang everything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang told him everything too. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was the first person he called when he had found out he was moving. Quite suddenly too. “Why are you crying,” Zixuan answered the phone early that morning. 7:26am to be exact. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m moving! I have to leave my </span>
  <em>
    <span>home</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Zixuan sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang explained everything. From Mingjue’s move, to having the option to stay in Qinghe with his uncle and how he absolutely was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to do that. But he was broken because Qinghe was his home. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan lied back down, “Home is also wherever Mingjue is, isn’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Their sophomore year of high school they tried to meet up as frequently as they could with all their friends. But it didn’t always work out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was always a success when any of them were able to get together. Zixuan was particularly loved when he was able to get away from home for a bit to see them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a couple months since Huaisang had seen </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> of his friends in person. He was completely  thrilled when Zixuan had replied to the group text that he would </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> be able to make it that weekend. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was the only one who made it. Probably for the best otherwise he was sure his friends would have roasted him for making an utter fool of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had been talking endlessly about all these different boys from school. Pretty ones, smart ones, a stupid jock who was unfortunately hot, and this </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> cute boy who was into theatre too-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Zixuan stopped him mid-conversation. “So are you gay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang stared at him before letting out a confused laugh. “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘oh’</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang watched him in amusement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I just didn’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I have no idea how.” Huaisang never came out officially, but it wasn’t a secret. He had always been </span>
  <em>
    <span>quite</span>
  </em>
  <span> open about it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow it never clicked for Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I just didn’t... Anyways, just continue,” Zixuan waved him on. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>saying</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang continued like he didn’t miss a beat. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan really had no idea. He wasn’t quite sure how he missed it. Looking back, he thought he was pretty stupid for that. But it didn’t ever really cross his mind again; they continued business as usual. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan would talk about girls, Huaisang would talk about boys. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang always had more to say on the topic.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hey, remember when-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>By their junior year, Zixuan and Wuxian were pretty good friends, but yikes they’d never admit that outloud. That is except for-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>told </span>
  </em>
  <span>you,” Huaisang said over the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know,” Zixuan sighed, looking at different pasta boxes on the store shelf. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is that noise?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pasta,” Zixuan muttered, comparing different boxes. “Hey, can you make mac and cheese with bowtie pasta?” Huaisang laughed on the other end of the line. “What? They’re out of elbows.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you can, why can’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t seem as fun as elbows,” Zixuan sighed but put the box in the basket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laughed, “Are you saying that because there won’t be cheese inside the noodle when you bite into it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Yes… Stop laughing,” Zixuan groaned. “My mom said we’re not eating pasta, like </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>sort of noodle, for the next month and now all I want is mac and cheese. Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> things. There are better things, yet here I am.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re ridiculous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mac and cheese with bowties is ridiculous. Anyways, I’ll see you at Lotus Pier this weekend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yes! I’m excited.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Zixuan walked aimlessly around the store. “Maybe this time Yanli will go out with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doubtful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ouch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t even outright ask her that weekend. Her mother greeting him as “son” was uncomfortable and he didn’t even want to think about his parents warning looming over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well that was awkward,” Yanli had said. “Let’s never discuss that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yikes,” Mianmian laughed as she walked by them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right in the heart, Yanli,” Zixuan joked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had grown incredibly close over the years. And Yanli had come to expect Zixuan to mention dating. She knew it was because of his parents. She was getting it on her end too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The </span>
  <em>
    <span>one </span>
  </em>
  <span>time she asked him to go out, he outright refused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you just turn </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> down,” she asked in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I… did?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow that kind of sucked.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, I take it back,” Zixuan rushed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” she smirked. “It’s final, we never date.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Never?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Yanli, how am I supposed to explain that to my mom… And </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> mom,” he asked seriously. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How about we make a deal,” Yanli proposed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Shoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ask me out every once in a while. That way you have something to tell your parents,” she said. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>If</span>
  </em>
  <span> I am single in 8 years, and you’re single in 8 years, then let’s just get married. That way we both can date whoever we want in the meantime. If it sticks, it sticks.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A marriage pact.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she shrugged. “If I change my mind earlier, then cool. Otherwise, in 8 years,” she held out her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shook her hand, “8 years.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That was a year ago.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was down to 7 years now. Zixuan had been on numerous dates. And had had two girlfriends by then. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She was secretly dating Mianmian. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel,” Jiang Cheng asked, watching Mianmian and Yanli walk off together. “Knowing my sister still says no.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s optimistic,” Wen Ning concluded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No. Not optimistic. Quite pessimistic about it, actually. But… There were still 7 years left. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just can’t believe you were called ‘son’,” Wuxian grumbled bitterly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian and Yanli went off to do their own thing that night. Lotus Pier was beautiful at night and frankly, Huaisang was jealous. It didn’t even matter that he didn’t know they were on a </span>
  <em>
    <span>date</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “I wanna do something cute and romantic,” he whined. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what,” Wuxian asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“...Well… I don’t know!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Romance,” Wen Ning spoke up, “Is not my forte.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We know,” Jiang Cheng replied. Wuxian smacked the back of his head. “Ow?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Believe in yourself Wen Ning,” Wuxian said. “You never know until you get out there!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am: uninterested.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the right attitude,” Jiang Cheng approved. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You only say that,” Wen Ning started, “because my sister rejected you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yikes,” Zixuan looked up from his book. “I know the feeling.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh,” Huaisang threw himself back dramatically. “I hate this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hate what,” Wen Ning asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Being single,” Huaisang sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s nice,” Jiang Cheng countered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be nice if I had people lining up to kiss me whenever I wanted,” Huaisang sat back up with a pout. Zixuan rolled his eyes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>This again</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Now here’s a thought,” Wuxian leaned forward. “Instead of waiting for a line, why not get in someone else’s line?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh hey,” Jiang Cheng pointed to him. “There you go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang shook his head. “It’s not the </span>
  <em>
    <span>same</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wants attention,” Zixuan said matter-of-factly. “Not to give attention.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just say that then,” Wen Ning said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How can someone not give you attention,” Wuxian questioned. “You’re pretty damn loud.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that was a compliment, but I’ll take it,” Huaisang said. “But I agree! I think boys would be lucky to date me. Like who wouldn’t want to be kissing me? I’m cute! I’m artsy! I’m funny! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he groaned. “Do you know how long it’s been since anyone’s kissed me? I am going crazy here!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed and closed his book. He grabbed Huaisang’s face and planted a big ole’ smooch on his lips, a big obnoxious, loud “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mwah!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Zixuan huffed and settled down on his stomach, picking up his book again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Aaaaaah</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian stood up and pointed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng’s jaw dropped, and he shook Wen Ning in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well alright,” Wen Ning laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I,” Huaisang blinked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You kissed him</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian shouted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know how long he has been begging someone to kiss him,” Zixuan asked incredulously, not taking his eyes off his book though he was not reading. “A </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> long time.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t know how to react, “I.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s buffering,” Wen Ning pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well,” Zixuan turned a page. “Finally he’s stopped.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you broke him,” Wuxian laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Jiang Cheng hit Wuxian’s leg. “Wow. Okay. Fuck, I’ve missed you guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning, Wuxian, and Jiang Cheng laughed a bit more before talking about other things. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tried to participate but he wasn’t able to think clearly enough to follow along and keep speed with them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Zixuan kissed him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s lips were on his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was aware that Zixuan did it without an ounce of seriousness. He knows it meant absolutely nothing to him. But that didn’t change the fact that Zixuan just </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissed</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wait. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait, wait, wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Wait...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked at Zixuan. Wait, it was too fast though. He didn’t even really get to process it while it happened. Can it happen again? Just one more time? So he could properly process it? Commit the chaste feeling to memory?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t reading. He had grabbed Huaisang’s face under the assumption that it was just an action. He never felt anything when he had kissed anyone else.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He assumed it would be the same if he kissed his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t mean anything until he did it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He brushed his fingers against his lips, still pretending he was absorbed in whatever was on the page before him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Why the hell did he do that?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Or rather: why did it suddenly feel like it meant something after he did it?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Why did it feel like a mistake?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Huaisang pulled his attention away from the book. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian was dramatically retelling Wen Ning about an incident that happened in his calculus class earlier in the week. No one noticed the two of them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to kiss me if I complain again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan snorted. Like hell he’d do that again. “I’m not that desperate to shut you up,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Oh thank god for that. He wasn’t quite sure what he’d do if Zixuan ever kissed him again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was for the best. Huaisang didn’t need to catch feelings for his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That night, when he was supposed to be asleep, Zixuan kept thinking about how he grabbed Huaisang. How he pressed his lips to his. The look on Huaisang’s face when he pulled away. The lurch he felt in his stomach when he backed off and turned his attention back to his book. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He should’ve done it differently. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He should’ve held his face gently. He should’ve kissed him softly. He should’ve given himself time to feel his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He should’ve done it differently, because he’ll never do it again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They never brought up the incident again. Occasionally their friends would laugh, “Remember when Zixuan kissed Huaisang to shut his annoying ass up?” And then they’d move on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even through to the end of their high school graduations. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. College Decisions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW// arranged marriage mentioned</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Wen Qing and Yanli had moved to the Greater Cloud Recesses area (GCR) to open a tiny tea cafe after they graduated college. It was just a tiny little shop on the outskirts of town but was received incredibly well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng, Zixuan, Wen Ning, and Huaisang had all committed to going to the University of Cloud Recesses, while Wuxian had decided instead to go to Yunping Community. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t bothered applying to UCR, under the “guidance” of Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian. While it was in his nature to not listen to Madam Yu, Wuxian did just about anything Fengmian told him to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fengmian didn’t want him to go to Yunping Community, but he was persuaded by his wife to support the option above his other choices.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian didn’t bother voicing how upset he was that they all ended up deciding to go to UCR. It’s not like they were intentionally leaving him behind, or deciding to stick together. They just all happened to pick programs at UCR.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>In fact, they all kept their decisions to themselves until they were officially committed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>None of them wanted to influence each other’s decisions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>say sike</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>reason behind some decisions</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wuxian refuses to be left behind</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue didn’t sign up for this. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> sign up to have all of Huaisang’s friends in his house. His </span>
  <em>
    <span>new</span>
  </em>
  <span> house. “I swear,” Mingjue started. “If any of them break anything,” he muttered, eyeing them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed, “It was one time.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“For each of them,” Mingjue pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I have never broken anything,” Zixuan said from beside Mingjue.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve broken my spirit,” Mingjue deadpanned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue didn’t mind them but he wished that his brother told him they would be hosting that weekend. The same weekend he had to leave for Qinghe. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Wuxian leaned across the coffee table that night after most of his friends passed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Mingjue looked up from his laptop.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had told them that Wuxian flirted with Mingjue whenever the opportunity arose but Zixuan never really took him seriously whenever he brought it up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But… Here he was, right in front of Zixuan’s figurative salad, flirting with Nie Mingjue. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked in surprise. Because… Well because he was still sitting right there, on his phone, trying to mind his own business.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian was looking at Mingjue with a dreamy look in his eyes, fluttering them occasionally. To Zixuan’s surprise, Wuxian laughed at himself and threw compliment after compliment at Mingjue.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue barely acknowledged Wuxian’s efforts.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re making me uncomfortable,” Zixuan announced loudly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No one is talking to you,” Wuxian said, not even sparing Zixuan a glance. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan got off the couch, “Oh my god, I can’t,” he shuffled down the hall to Huaisang’s room.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning was sprawled out on the floor, clutching a penguin plushie, tangled in </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> of the blankets. Jiang Cheng and Huaisang were knocked out on Huaisang’s bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked between his two options and chose the crowded bed. He crawled over Huaisang, who was nearly about to roll off the bed, and over Jiang Cheng. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng, not the heaviest sleeper, groaned and glared at Zixuan. “You’re supposed to be on the floor,” he grumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not fighting for comfort,” Zixuan mumbled and pulled part of Jiang Cheng’s blanket over him and pressed his back into the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” Jiang Cheng settled back down, burying his face into the pillow before his eyes shot open again. “If you kick me even once, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> hit you in the balls,” he warned.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It was one time but fine,” Zixuan huffed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan laid there for quite a while, unable to sleep. He wasn’t really sure why he was imagining what college may be like at this time of night but he was. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was not accustomed to spending so much time around his friends. Especially not in school? The only one he ever saw in school was Mianmian. But that was for a short amount of time before she graduated. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The longest he ever spent around his friends was summer camps when they were younger, the occasional winter vacation camps. Or later on, when they would do their best to have week long (or at least a long weekend) stays. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing… Prolonged. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was excited though. He wanted to be around people who actually liked him. Not people who thought they could get something out of him, not people who were expected to be around him, and not people that his father liked or that liked his father. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This would be good for him. He could live on campus for a little while, get away while he could, and maybe spend some time on his own, away from his family.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Unlikely, but maybe. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was only so much he could do on his own before he was made to do whatever his dad wanted him to do. He might’ve been the favorite son, but that didn’t mean he could do whatever he wanted, or could have whatever he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had the Jin image to uphold. A reputation to keep running. He had a marriage alliance setup, and if that failed, there were two back-up ones, not that he knew who they were with. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was supposed to take over for his father one day. He was supposed to be well-versed and ready to go, a wife by his side, and a few children behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had heard it time and time again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had heard it before he left for Greater Cloud Recesses. “Tell us how Jiang Yanli is,” his mother had smiled at him. It was a subtle reminder. She was much less straightforward about it than his father was. He appreciated that at least. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So while all his friends were rambunctious in the tiny Lotus Root Cafe, Zixuan and Yanli talked by the counter. “I…” Zixuan started slowly, “I’m sorry-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli smiled and stopped him. “It’s okay. Go ahead and ask.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed. “I know you’re dating Mianmian, but,” he started slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… She told you....”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“She did,” he paused. Oh. Maybe Yanli didn’t want anyone knowing.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s,” Yanli hesitated. “It’s okay. You’re like her family. I’m glad she had you to tell.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli didn’t mind so much that Zixuan knew. She was more concerned with her family finding out. Not her brothers, as Wuxian was very out and proud. But her parents. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Just as Zixuan’s parents were pushing him to marry her, her parents were pushing her to marry him. If not each other, they had others lined up for their parents to pick from. She wasn’t sure she liked the other options.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed. He really shouldn’t ask. “Sorry. Nevermind,” he backed up as if he was going to go join their friends but she grabbed his wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan, stop.” Yanli held him in place. “Mianmian is my girlfriend, yes. And maybe I’ll have girlfriends after her. But I told you, if neither of us are with anyone by the end of our deal, then we’re getting married.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” she stopped him. “You are literally the only man I would consider spending my life with.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Flattered, but you shouldn’t have to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How right you are,” she agreed lightheartedly. “But if I’m not in a serious relationship by then to throw into my parents’ faces they’ll never get off my back to marry a man. They’ll think it’s some phase I’ll grow out of once I meet the right guy.” She smiled, “But if I marry </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, they’ll leave me alone and who knows,” she shrugs. “Maybe I’ll find a suitable mistress.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yanli</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan laughed in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed softly behind her hand and waved at him to be quiet when Wen Ning started making his way over. “Married but we both have a mistress. Can you </span>
  <em>
    <span>imagine</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How about you have a mistress and tell me all about your secret dates while I was sleeping,” he joked and turned to Wen Ning as he neared them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Qing said dinner is on her tonight at her apartment since we’re all staying the rest of the weekend,” he relayed the text from his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh her apartment is so cute,” Yanli smiled brightly. “Cozy but the kitchen space is really nice! I said I’d close alone so she can focus on making a big enough dinner!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I’ll stay while you lock up,” Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I also told her you would do just that,” Yanli smirked. Wen Ning didn’t look up while he texted his sister. “Tell her I can bring whatever is left over from here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning glanced up, “She told me you guys were considering a bigger space?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe next spring,” she nodded. “We’re doing really well. Better than we anticipated.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“College town,” Wen Ning pointed out. “Gotta love them,” he turned while he texted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you leaving after the UCR Open House tomorrow,” Yanli asked Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I was going to, but I think I’ll just stay until Tuesday morning with everyone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh good,” Yanli smiled. “We’re closed on Monday, let’s spend the day together. Just the two of us. Properly catch up.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure! Sounds good to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And then when you go home you can tell your parents you took me on a date,” she beamed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed and rolled his eyes but he smiled back. “And then I’ll tell them you </span>
  <em>
    <span>still </span>
  </em>
  <span>turned me down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure did,” she patted his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli made the initial pact with Zixuan because she wanted the ability to date freely for a while. She didn’t expect to find </span>
  <em>
    <span>the one</span>
  </em>
  <span> any time soon. Mianmian wasn’t technically her first girlfriend, and with how things were slowly heading, it wasn’t likely she would be her last either. She just wanted time to meet people. Get to know them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really</span>
  </em>
  <span> know them. She didn’t want to settle down just yet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She hoped that Zixuan was doing the same, but frankly he wasn’t too interested in anyone. He didn’t take that much time to even attempt to get to know anyone. He would try, panic a bit on the inside, deem himself not cut out for it, and end whatever it was that was trying to start. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli crossed her fingers that it would change in college, away from home. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe someone will catch his attention. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they’d be lucky to both find someone before their pact was up. Maybe.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But probably not. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan woke up early that Monday morning. Everyone had stayed up pretty late the night before talking about the campus, the programs, and imagining what everything would be like. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian whined the whole night about not being there but grateful his friends indulged him in what his plans were, what they could still do together, and what they should do for winter break. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They were all still knocked out except for Huaisang who was, admittedly half asleep, squinting at his phone. “What are you doing,” Zixuan asked him, brushing out his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” he pulled out an earbud. Zixuan repeated the question. “A few members from Lie Bing went live last night,” he turned back to his phone. “They dropped a teaser and oh my god,</span>
  <em>
    <span> Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’s so good. Apparently Xichen worked on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Lan Xichen?” Zixuan glanced at the time on his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Huaisang looked back at his phone. “Oh my god, it’s been ages since he’s worked on their music since he left.” He paused. “Why are you awake?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Going to hang out with Yanli,” he reminded Huaisang, pushing himself off the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning grumbled at the noise and glanced up at the two of them talking before dramatically turning and pulling the blanket he shared with Wuxian. Wuxian did not react at all to the blanket being forcefully tugged out from under him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang nodded. “Can you get me something from Lotus Root?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s closed.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then can you just get me something?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stared at him blankly. “No?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Peek at the Half-Twins Relationship</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan paused by Guangyao’s room and peeked in to see him studying quite hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao was taking a full summer course load at UCR and several online courses through another college. He had been for the last two years between his regular schooling. Which was already quite credit heavy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to wear yourself out,” Zixuan said from the hall. No response. “Can I come in?” No response. “Can I… leave?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao glanced over his shoulder, “You can just leave me alone instead of asking.” This time Zixuan didn’t respond. “What do you want?” Guangyao turned back to his work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smirked and walked in. He sat against the wall beside the desk; he knew better than to sit on Guangyao’s bed. He was very particular about that. And his room was smaller than Zixuan’s, he didn’t have anywhere else to sit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want,” Guangyao asked again, not sparing  Zixuan even a glance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” he shrugged. “Just giving you company.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that was really all he was there for. Not to talk, not to catch up… Just give him some company. He didn’t do it a lot because he didn’t like to bother Guangyao when he was busy. But he liked to do it once in a while. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao didn’t see many people during the summers. He spent more time doing schoolwork and whatever errands or conferences his father sent him to than socializing with anyone his age. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>During the fall and spring, though it was still a lot, Guangyao had less assignments to focus on, and a little more time to interact with people outside some sort of setting controlled or effected by his father. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan thought he needed some face time with people. People who weren’t Carp Tower residents; people outside their family and the staff at Carp Tower. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Clearly Zixuan didn’t meet even his own requirement, but he was the better option out of what Guangyao was stuck with. Besides, sometimes it would take anywhere between ten minutes to an hour before-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How was the long weekend with your friends,” Guangyao asked him, still copying down notes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Zixuan lied down on his back. “I’m excited.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice there.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Zixuan agreed. “Have you considered staying on campus? It’s an annoying drive to make.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Father won’t let me,” Guangyao pointed out. “He can’t keep an eye on me if I’m not living here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan started slowly, “I can come up with something…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, don’t bother,” Guangyao replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan wasn’t going to let Zixuan stay at UCR without his watchful eye either. He was quick to apply for an open administrative position at the University. He had a plan of his own to rise quickly. It wasn’t common for the President of the University to not be a Lan, but he was determined to dethrone Lan Yi.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He needed a new challenge anyways. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan gave him a reason to chase it. The added benefit was he could keep an even closer eye on Guangyao to keep him in his place. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We should just move out,” Zixuan huffed aloud. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao let out an unamused laugh, “Yeah, sure.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Google Results Are In, Zixuan You're</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Huaisang had called Zixuan about an hour ago. They had fallen quiet a while ago but stayed on the phone regardless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you asleep,” Huaisang finally asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan took a moment to answer. “No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...” Zixuan sighed and rolled onto his back. He ran a hand over his tired eyes. “I’m sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang couldn’t sleep. It’s why he called Zixuan to begin with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well… He had been sleeping but had a nightmare. And Mingjue wasn’t home. Huaisang tried texting their friends but no one answered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he called Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He always answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should go to sleep,” Huaisang said to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang listened to him moving on the other end of the line. “Yeah, so should you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re falling asleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You stopped talking,” Zixuan put the phone down and put Huaisang on speaker so he could get comfortable again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang listened to him toss and turn for a moment. The sheets rustled momentarily before Zixuan finally settled back quietly. “Hey do you want to sleepover again!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” He pouted. “You did a few weeks ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A week and a half ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My dad wouldn’t let me again,” Zixuan mumbled. “He keeps inviting people to dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> come then?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan propped himself up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan? Are you asleep now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” he replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed, “Just go to sleep Zixuan. You’re tired. I’m fine now-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can come if you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean,” Zixuan paused. Guangshan never had an issue with Zixuan having friends sleepover. As long as he was made aware. And as long as there weren’t too many. Not without a fair amount of time between them actually coming. “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean... whenever? I can, uhm,” he sat up. “I can figure out a time to come and get you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m not making you do that,” Huaisang laughed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then you’re not sleeping over?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll,” he stopped. “I could take the train?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang… You </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span> the train,” Zixuan pointed out. Taking the train, or any public transportation freaked Huaisang out. He had no sense of direction and was forever scared he could get off at the wrong stop and be so ridiculously lost and without contact, that he would have no way out of the situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spoke of it often enough that the thought of him taking the train wasn’t even an option to Zixuan. “Yeah, I know,” Huaisang laughed, “I am well aware. But I’m also back in Qinghe for the rest of the summer so… It’s a long drive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, if you’re sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am! Does the end of this week work?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll let my parents know I guess,” Zixuan replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was taking the </span>
  <em>
    <span>train</span>
  </em>
  <span>? The idea was throwing Zixuan… Why would Huaisang want to take a train out to Lanling?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh this is exciting!” Huaisang shimmied happily where he sat. “Okay, I’m going to go… figure things out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“O-okay,” Zixuan was confused but wasn’t going to stop him. “Text me if you get confused…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should probably put your phone on Do Not Disturb,” Huaisang warned. “Because I am going to get confused. Go to sleep! Goodnight Zixuan! Thanks for picking up!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure… Goodnight,” Zixuan hung up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lied back down, stretching his legs out. Thankfully it was summer so it didn’t matter that they had spent nearly two hours on the phone. It didn’t matter that it was almost 4AM. Zixuan could sleep in if he wanted to, and he fully intended to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan waited as sleep slowly enveloped him again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter that he was a tad cold, he really couldn’t be bothered to pull his sheets up over his shoulder. His body was already settling quite comfortably into sleep for him to care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mind was already starting to clear and wander. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, Zixuan tended to dream in the third person; the observer perspective. He wasn’t sure he ever really dreamed in the first person. If he had ever, he could never recall having done so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rather liked the way he dreamed. He liked watching it as if it were a movie. Especially if they were nightmares, because then it was easier to settle down and acknowledge that it wasn’t real, that he wasn’t being chased, or whatever it was that was happening around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes he wasn’t even sure he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>in </span>
  </em>
  <span>the dream. Sometimes it was just the random things and he couldn’t ever recall being there himself. Or maybe he was. And he just didn’t look like himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That happened sometimes too. But he usually still knew it was himself somehow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But as he fell asleep this time, he was undoubtedly there. He didn’t even need to see himself at first to know that it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He just knew. And he couldn’t see the other person but he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> kissing them. He could feel their lips on his own. He could tell that it wasn’t a stranger by any means. And he could tell that they wanted to feel his lips on theirs as badly as he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until the entire angle of his dream shifted just slightly that he saw himself kissing… Nie Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s eyes opened at an alarming speed. He scared himself awake before he fell too deeply asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He groaned and covered his eyes with the palms of his hands. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought to himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m trying to sleep… Literally why…</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why was this happening to him? He’d rather be knocked out than have to think about this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not this again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he rolled over and reached for his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was so stupidly uncalled for at this time of night. It must’ve been because he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> on the phone with Huaisang and was so exhausted beyond belief that his mind just ran with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>God it’s been a while since he thought about kissing Huaisang again. He really thought he was done thinking about that day in any capacity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This must be normal right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He checked with Google. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okay, okay… Maybe it wasn’t so bad. It was a dream after all this time. He shouldn’t read too much into it…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But the rest weren’t dreams… He was awake when he considered it before… Maybe that was concerning... </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He checked with Google again and quickly closed it after the first couple responses he read. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nope, he was not going to make the situation worse by thinking about it </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It surely was just like having a dream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing much to analyze there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just curiosity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just had to remind himself that he technically already kissed him so there was quite literally nothing to be curious about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the time being he would distract himself with some Netflix on his phone, because everytime he closed his eyes, the image came flooding back and he could not have that continue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn't. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Nonexistent Love Lives</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan and Mianmian were lying in the grass letting the cloud cast shadows over them. They hadn’t spoken for the last fifteen minutes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had his eyes closed. “What are you thinking about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What makes you think that I’m thinking about anything in particular?” Mianmian asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You asked to sit together,” Zixuan pointed out. “Not ‘hang out’. Just ‘sit together’.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mianmian hummed. Yeah. She tended to want to sit around people when she was bothered about something. Something about knowing someone was there and ready to listen </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> she wanted to talk about what was on her mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you need to think out loud…” ZIxuan left it at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…” Mianmian sighed. “I got two job offers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Zixuan replied. She didn’t seem excited. “Where?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A makerspace in Greater Cloud Recesses.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A makerspace?” Zixuan sat up and looked down at Mianmian who continued to watch the thick clouds. “Mianmian that’s awesome! Is this the same one you told me about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were just trying to get on their board?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was,” she sighed. “But they offered to give me their open Community Coordinator position.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So what are you thinking?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s part time.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. What about the other position?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Admissions Counselor for University of Cloud Recesses… I don’t know if I should take them,” she thought out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t this what you wanted?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What changed?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian hummed. “I mean,” she paused. “I still want it. Admissions isn’t ideal but it works for now… And with it I could eventually get a discount on the courses that are offered. So I could go back to school part-time. I could expand my resume even more. And the makerspace… Is what I need. With the connections, the community work, the creativity…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan wrapped his arms around his legs. “So what’s stopping you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yanli.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yanli?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian looked up at Zixuan. “I think we’ll probably break things off.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan frowned. “I thought things were going well with you two?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re… Weird… Different… I don’t know. I think we might be better as friends,” she looked back up at the clouds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” she said honestly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So why is Yanli stopping you from accepting the offers? Does she even know about them yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“She doesn’t,” Mianmian confirmed. “I only found out this morning. And she’s working so I figured I’d wait to call.” Zixuan waited while Mianmian organized her thoughts. “I just… We’ve already talked about our relationship and this is the last give-it-a-go. And if it ends, I don’t want her to think I took these positions to try and fix things. I’d rather end things on good terms and not make anything tense. Y’know? And </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> we stay together, I don’t want her to think this has anything to do with it either…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan nodded in understanding. “I see what you’re saying. But I think you should talk to her about it. I mean… It’s Yanli. I can’t imagine her not being excited for you starting your career whether you’re together or not; good terms or not. If it happens to be in the same place she’s living in, then so be it? … It’s Yanli… I don’t think she’ll think </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>of it. She might laugh at the thought of there being some ulterior motive to accepting the offers.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian sighed, “Yeah, she will… I’m just nervous about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s completely valid.” Zixuan told her, “You’re absolutely allowed to feel that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m being stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan smiled at her, “You’re not being stupid. It’s normal to overthink these things I’m sure. Give her a call later, maybe go visit for a few days, talk things out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian sighed, “Yeah, okay. That’s logical. Okay, I’ll do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And when you’re back we can go sneak a bunch of food into the movies and pig out. Or we can make a blanket fort and order everything in existence and watch a bunch of sad movies. Whatever the situation calls for,” Zixuan pointed out. “Or both; make a long weekend of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian laughed, “Long weekend sounds good to me already,” she sat up. “Thanks, </span>
  <em>
    <span>but</span>
  </em>
  <span> enough of this sad love life. Tell me about yours.” Zixuan sputtered in response. Mianmian laughed, “What the hell is wrong with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t ask me about that! Mine is nonexistent!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Mianmian shook her head. “It’s my turn for the nonexistent love life. Who are you crushing on, give me those sweet </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweet </span>
  </em>
  <span>Zixuan inner monologue thoughts.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely no one,” Zixuan replied.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re lying.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan held his hands up in defense, “I swear I’m not… Not one girl at school held my weak cold heart in her hands. My summer is as lonely as ever. Ask me a few months into college.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” Mianmian narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Zixuan. “Okay, sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan weighed his options. He could ask Mianmian for her opinion though. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He could be vague… “Can I ask you something though,” he started warily. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian picked up his hesitance instantly. “Sure, go for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... It’s completely off topic-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Mianmian folded her legs. She was sure it wasn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think it means if-”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Just Two Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan was running late because of his mother having a meltdown again. He would’ve just left early and waited for Huaisang if it wasn’t because of Guangyao. Again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan made sure the situation defused before leaving Carp Tower.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao left without a word. Probably to the public library, but Zixuan wasn’t really sure. Guangyao wouldn’t talk to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mom,” Zixuan paused on his way out. “I’m going to pick up Huaisang. We’ll be back later tonight,” he said. It was the only way to remind her that Huaisang was coming without outright telling her to not do that again while he was here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what he wants for breakfast and I’ll have it made for him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Zixuan left promptly, texting Huaisang that he was on his way now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan managed to pull into the parking lot only about 10 minutes late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his surprise Huaisang was outside and lying on his back on one of the benches, his phone held over his face. He pulled up slowly and rolled his window down. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he called. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang squinted, hand over his eyes to block out the sun. He jumped up in excitement and ran over. “Hi! I did it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did,” Zixuan smiled. He watched as Huaisang tossed his bag in the backseat before he hopped in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” he huffed, pulling the door shut. “Let me tell you. That was stressful. I thought I got on the wrong train like 8 times.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you did it,” Zixuan pulled out of the parking lot. “Proud of you. What do you want to eat?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang slouched a tiny bit and leaned against the door. “Anything edible. I didn’t bother eating anything on the train because I was nervous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you sleep?” Zixuan knew he hadn’t slept the night before due to nerves. It was likely he didn’t sleep on the train either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take a nap. I’ll drive for a bit before I pick a place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kay, night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smirked and got onto the highway. He’d go to that cozy place just outside of Lanling. When Huaisang had come with Jiang Cheng ages ago they had gone and Huaisang raved about how cute and rustic it was for hours after they left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lunchtime traffic would give Huaisang a little more time to sleep, and by the time they actually arrived, the lunchtime rush would have died down enough for them to get a table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was normal. Just two friends. Hanging out and getting a bite to eat. Doing their own thing, like Zixuan never had his mini late night crisis. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang loved the relationship he had with his friends. None of them really expected anything out of each other. They could hang out and not even feel the need to constantly be talking about something, or constantly be doing something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s something he really cherished about his relationship with Zixuan specifically. They could go about their own business and practically ignore each other and it was perfectly fine. They didn’t even feel an obligation to stay by each other’s side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s how they spent their entire day together before heading to Carp Tower. They caught up while walking around a nearby park after they ate. They strolled through an outdoor market, accidentally splitting up at one point, roaming around before running into each other again on an entirely different street. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>By the time they returned to Carp Tower it was already dark out. Huaisang was on a search for snacks while Zixuan was taking a shower. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you,” a snippy voice from behind Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang turned, holding a few chocolate bars, an unopened bag of gummy bears, and a bag of chips. He narrowed his eyes. He thought he had met everyone he needed to over the years. Who the hell was this kid? He couldn’t have been much younger than Huaisang… He couldn’t possibly even have his license yet. “Who are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The younger sputtered. “I-I live here! You should answer first.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang cocked his head. He couldn’t recall ever laying his eyes on this cousin. He must not be special to Guangshan yet. All of Zixuan’s cousins had made a name for themselves if they were older, or they already had a promising career in the near future. Surely this one must only be starting to build up his reputation at this age. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What was he? Fifteen? Sixteen? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Was this Jin Ling?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nie Huaisang,” Madam Jin came in with a bright smile. “Sweet boy, how are you?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nie</span>
  </em>
  <span> Huaisang,” the boy asked in shock. Madam Jin shot him a look. He bowed his head quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be rude A-Ling,” she snapped. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Madam Jin,” Huaisang smiled. “How have you been?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>fantastic</span>
  </em>
  <span>, how are you? Zixuan tells me you’re going to UCR as well?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am,” he put the snacks down. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you considering Political Science?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, no,” Huaisang shook his head. “I’ll leave that to my brother.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No? Oh, shame,” she frowned. “What will your focus be then?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine &amp; Performing Arts, and maybe Literature,” Huaisang said reluctantly. While they put a great emphasis on knowing the arts and classical literature in this family, it was not a suitable career field for them. He was sure she disapproved. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah well,” she put a smile back on her face. “I am sure you will excel! You must be excited.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing,” they all turned before Zixuan even walked in. He paused, holding a towel to his wet hair. “Oh… Hi Mom…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She clicked her tongue at Zixuan. He knows better than to present himself like this in front of a guest. She always let her son’s friends sleep in his room instead of guest rooms, but she wasn’t too fond of how casual he let himself be around Huaisang sometimes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t meet her gaze as he toweled his wet hair. “Why are you here,” he looked at Jin Ling. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling crossed his arms. “I saw someone walking around. I didn’t know he was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nie</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’s he saying it like that,” Huaisang muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ignore him,” Zixuan pushed Jin Ling’s head out of the way.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be rude, A-Ling,” Madame Jin warned again. “Go to bed,” she added. “And you too boys; don’t stay up too late.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling huffed but left.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We won’t,” Zixuan lied, grabbing the gummy bears. “We’re just going to watch a movie.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you don’t want a guest room,” she asked Huaisang on her way out. “I have no problem getting a room set for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced at her, “That’s not necessary, Mom. It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Surely a bed would be more comfortable than the floor?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She asked that the last time as well. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I don’t mind,” Huaisang reassured her. Zixuan scoffed but Huaisang ignored him. Huaisang would very much not be sleeping on the floor. The last time he was here with Wen Ning, the three of them fit comfortably on Zixuan’s oversized bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He thought the bed was way too big, but it was comfortable as fuck. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she sighed. “If he changes his mind, Zixuan...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” he nodded. “Goodnight Mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight Madam Jin,” Huaisang smiled brightly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight boys,” she practically sang on her way out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She thinks I’m stupid,” Huaisang muttered grabbing the rest of the snacks as Zixuan grabbed some soda. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No she doesn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Unconvincing,” Huaisang stated as he followed Zixuan back to his room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan and Huaisang were burritoed up on Zixuan’s bed, lights off, the ending credits playing on the large TV. Huaisang looked up from his phone, “Can we watch the next one?” Zixuan rolled over, turning his back to Huaisang. “Can </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> watch the next one?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang stretched for the small remote. Zixuan had started falling asleep sometime during the second movie but Huaisang wasn’t tired yet. It was nearly 1AM; he felt wide awake. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang reached for Zixuan’s ignored body pillow and dropped it between them. “Your bed is </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> big,” he grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked over his shoulder tiredly. “You have a queen.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> a queen,” Huaisang said. “And it’s definitely not a king. This thing can hold all of our friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I really don’t think it can,” he rolled back over. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It definitely can,” Huaisang grumbled and embraced the body pillow, turning his attention back to the TV while Zixuan dozed off again. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Oh My God, They Were Roommates</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wen ning is optimistic </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">yanli starts asking questions to test roommate compatibility </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wuxian took it upon himself to answer the question and describe his friends </span>
</p><p>
  
  <br/>
  
  <br/>
  
  <br/>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">did you just :3</span>
</p><p>
  
  <br/>
  
  <br/>
  
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">oh no! wuxian is ready to fight</span>
</p><p>
  
  <br/>
  
  <br/>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">A SET UP </span>
</p><p>
  
  <br/>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">crunching numbers </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was braiding his hair while he waited on Zixuan’s futon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was taking Yanli so long? “Well this is nerve racking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know you don’t have to do what she suggests,” Zixuan said, combing through his wet hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but you know we are 100% going to anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Correct.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their phones dinged. “Well damn.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the verdict,” Zixuan sat at the foot of his bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re roommates.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked up at Zixuan with a smirk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Us</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan thought him and Wen Ning would be perfect roommates, but he didn’t think he’d have a problem living with any of his friends. Huaisang and Wuxian would have been just fine to live with… Even Jiang Cheng, though they might have clashed over a few things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang would’ve had no problem living with any of them. Though he was nervous about living with Zixuan. He almost suggested that maybe they should just let it be randomized. Most people do that anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was nervous that he would eventually get on Zixuan’s last nerves and he would somehow mess up their incredibly long friendship. He didn’t want Zixuan to think he was as annoying as he probably was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As it was, he was sitting in Zixuan’s car, anxiously going over what he would have to do to ensure he got to Wuxian’s in one piece.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan called again. He had opened the passenger door. “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang grabbed his bag and hurried after Zixuan. “Am I late?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not,” Zixuan replied. “I’m just going to show you to your train.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan and Huaisang walked all the way to the correct platform. “You’re going to sit on this bench,” he pointed. “And around 9:45 they’ll announce the train coming. It’ll say where it’s heading right here,” he pointed up. “So you can double check.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, good, good,” Huaisang nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> getting off at Yunmeng North Station. Stay on until </span>
  <em>
    <span>East Station</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Wuxian will be waiting for you there. And Thursday he’ll make sure you get on the right train to Qinghe. Don’t worry about that one until then.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, right,” Huaisang kept nodding. He was nervous regardless. He really had no sense of direction. He would find a way to mess this up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to wait?” It was just another fifteen minutes until the train would arrive. Huaisang shook his head but he was a tad fidgety. “I’ll stay,” Zixuan sat next to him. “Just think about how much easier this will be next time,” Zixuan pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wasn’t so sure about that. It seemed quite confusing. At </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> moment he could miss his stop. And then everything changes. The layout. The timeline. Everything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay,” Zixuan said. “If you get off at the wrong stop just call me or Wuxian. We’ll walk you through it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang let out a breath. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thank god Zixuan was sitting with him. He was a wreck when he left Qinghe for Lanling. He was constantly reading his messages with Zixuan to make sure he didn’t somehow change the facts of what he was doing and where he was going in his head. He was constantly checking stops, pulling up the map on his phone. Always, always double checking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Zixuan just quietly kept reminding him now that he was next to him, so he didn’t have to do that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thankfully Wuxian would be there to do the same for him in a couple days before he took the longer trip to Qinghe from Yunmeng. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan reminded him of that as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, this is the one, see,” Zixuan motioned to the details of the train as they scrolled by. “Find a seat and stay on until Yunmeng </span>
  <em>
    <span>East </span>
  </em>
  <span>Station.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“East Station,” Huaisang nodded. “Okay. Sounds good. Okay. Thank you for having me,” he gave Zixuan a quick hug before stepping into the train. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Deep breath. It was fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yunmeng East Station.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>IT'S ART</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thankfully Madam Yu didn’t make the boys have dinner with her. It was just them. Jiang Cheng was traveling to Baling with his father for some business obligation. Fengmian had initially intended for Wuxian to go, but he turned it down. “I think Jiang Cheng needs a little time with Fengmian,” Wuxian explained. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a while since he’s gone on a business trip with him,” Huaisang agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s been really uptight about leaving Lotus Pier lately,” Wuxian chewed on a Sour Patch Kid. “Has he said anything to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang lifted his legs into the air and wiggled his socked toes as he thought. “Hmmmm….. I don’t think so? He did mention he was stressed about what his parents thought of his courses.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Wuxian nodded. “Yeah they were a little harsh. They didn’t think his course load was challenging enough. He’ll likely talk to his advisor to get signed into another class or two.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you,” Huaisang sat up and reached for his water. “How are you feeling about school? I’m surprised you want to go to Yunping.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fengmian wanted me to apply for Baling U, and I wanted to apply for Yiling U, but Madam Yu also wouldn’t let him help me pay for it. The loan I </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>get was not enough, and I didn’t get a single scholarship either,” Wuxian explained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t?” Huaisang was shocked. Huaisang personally didn’t apply for any, and he knows Zixuan hadn’t either, but they also didn’t need a scholarship. Huaisang took out a small loan, and Zixuan would just pay the school directly. He hadn’t really spoken to the others about finances so he never really considered it being an issue. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… So it didn’t really matter where he really wanted me to go, because I can’t,” he shrugged. “He also recommended Yunping, but he’s still a bit disappointed. I don’t mind. Yunping is going to be better for me. I can get my degree, work, save money; I’m close to home, which thankfully is going to be rent free. Yunping was on my list anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as you’re happy with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Wuxian smiled. And he was for the most part. “I can do what I need to do, and if I decide to go back to school in a few years, I know that Baling </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>Yiling would take the credits from Yunping. What </span>
  <em>
    <span>sucks</span>
  </em>
  <span> is that you’re all going to be together, and I’m going to be stuck here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Huaisang frowned, “That’s a bummer. We could have been </span>
  <em>
    <span>roommates</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Wuxian.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian laughed, “You say that now, but it would be a mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And I welcome that!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t blame me for this,” Wuxian started. “You were supposed to go to Qinghe College.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang clicked his tongue. “Their grad program is so much better than UCR’s and UCR’s undergrad program is so much better than theirs.” He sighed. “But since I committed to UCR, I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>going</span>
  </em>
  <span> to live on campus for at least one year. I also don’t want Mingjue on my case constantly all through freshman year.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I get that,” Wuxian nodded. “Campus living is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> for me,” he shook his head. “That’s one thing I wasn’t planning on doing my entire college career if I did have to move.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It seems fun,” Huaisang thought.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh,” Wuxian shrugged. “To each their own… I can’t believe you’re going to room with Zixuan though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning and I already agreed to do a room switch if we decide we can’t do it,” Huaisang joked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll all be fine,” Wuxian rolled his eyes. “You guys act like we haven’t roomed with each other at some point in all those camps our families sent us to. The real problem would’ve been Zixuan and Jiang Cheng. They’re both too stubborn.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian could be just as stubborn as them, but he has been living with Jiang Cheng his entire life, and surprisingly, he and Zixuan were so annoyed with each other when they had to bunk at camp, that they ended up being incredibly respectful of each other’s space and privacy (mostly to avoid conflict). </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>In doing so, they were able to quickly see how the other functioned on a daily basis. It was because of that that Wuxian </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zixuan and Jiang Cheng would be a disaster waiting to happen. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And even though Huaisang wanted to room with Wuxian, it was a bonus that he wasn’t going to go to the same school. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>While Wuxian would have 100% taken him up on that offer, it would have been a bad decision for the both of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both encouraged each other in ways that sometimes were incredibly healthy, but surely would get out of hand if someone like Wen Qing wasn’t behind them setting them straight every so often. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wanted to stay up all night watching movies? Absolutely, do it! Wuxian wanted to sleep in on the Sunday before a big test coming up? Go for it, get your rest king, worry about the test later. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian thought Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning would be good roommates. Huaisang and Zixuan too. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was kind of excited to be on the outside because his friends would </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> go to him to rant. He would get all the gossip. For once, he wasn’t involved in anything.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it would be fun.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Guangyao Has No Idea What To Do With His Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I can’t get away,” Guangyao said in disbelief. “He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>everywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> the time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Xichen frowned. He felt bad for Guangyao. He did everything Guangshan asked, with no complaints. He took college courses when they were in high school, a high school that wasn’t even in Guangyao’s city so he wouldn’t be associated with the rest of his family. He took summer college courses. He committed to UCR, and was a commuter. He took a gap year from on-campus schooling and did online work, in addition to his continued summer work. He had a part time job in an office building that Guangshan owned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He barely slept in the years that Xichen was his friend. He proved himself as another talented </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> intelligent Jin. He had to. But it also backfired for him in a way; he just got pushed more and more in different directions. They wanted him to break, but in a way, that also backfired in their faces because time and time again he proved to be as persistent as a Jin would be. They only helped enhance his reputation the more they pushed him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was stupidly well rounded. He never needed them to push him toward theatre. He was already well-versed in acting. Acting like he didn’t mind how they treated him. Acting like he could take more. Acting like he had everything together. Acting like he didn’t need sleep. Acting like he loved working nonstop. Acting like he was okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Acting like he wasn’t jealous that Xichen finished school before him. Acting like he wasn’t bothered that Xichen managed to get an offer from the school that he invested </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> much time, and money in… and fucking gas. So much gas money. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>God he was so tired of driving. He was so tired of committing classical pieces to memory as he drove down the highway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What did he even want? Did he really care about political science? Or classic literature? Or business marketing? Bio-chem? History? Music?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Xichen,” Guangyao sighed. “When you think about the future, what do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do I… want?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a Philosophy professor </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but what do you want? Was this it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Xichen thought aloud, “This is what I want for the moment, yes. I wanted to focus on something other than music for a while. I’d like to be head of the department one day. I heard Professor Zhou was considering retiring within the next two years. I’d like to be an ideal candidate. Maybe do that for a bit of time. But I’d like to get back into music at some point. Maybe shifting into teaching it. But… Not at a higher ed institution.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao nodded. That made sense for Xichen. He could do it too. “That’s well thought out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not really solidified though,” Xichen pointed out. “I don’t have a real timeline for it. If it’ll even happen. I could always leave UCR and go elsewhere. Or I’ll have to step up for my uncle.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao shrugged, “But it’s a vague idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you? What do you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t know,” he looked back at the textbook in his lap. “I’m not sure what I like,” he let out a laugh. “I was hoping something you’d say would inspire me and I’d get the ‘ah-ha! I’d like to do something similar’. But I don’t think I align with anything like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Xichen started slowly, “Maybe you don’t know what you’d like to do, but knowing what you don’t want to do is still good.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao yawned and focused his eyes back on his textbook. “I guess so.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Xichen watched Guangyao tiredly trace where he was reading. He did that when he had a hard time focusing on the words; when he was tired. Xichen glanced at the page number and closed the book, moving it off to the side. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Take a nap-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-I can’t take a nap. I have to at least finish this chapter-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Xichen took Guangyao’s hand and pulled him until he laid against Xichen’s lap. “Get </span>
  <em>
    <span>some</span>
  </em>
  <span> sleep first. I’ll read it and sum it up for you. Please sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao blinked up at Xichen. They were alone in his living room. Wangji was out with one of his friends, their Uncle working in his office at UCR to set up his course work for the semester. It would probably only be a quick nap before someone came home anyways… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao sighed and rolled onto his side. There was barely a moment before he felt the tiredness from the week starting to seep into his bones. He barely laid down if he could help it, not unless he intended on falling asleep. He was always so tired, it usually came quite quick to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He felt Xichen gently sit the textbook on his waist before he passed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Xichen read the next four chapters before he had to abruptly wake Guangyao up.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Move In Day & The Origin of "Daddy"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jiang Fengmian, Madam Yu, and Wuxian all drove up to help Jiang Cheng move onto campus and go to lunch with Yanli. It was okay actually. Madam Yu wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>awful</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and Fengmian was doing his proud dad act, for all three of them, though he never said the words aloud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian managed to convince them to leave him in Greater Cloud Recesses so he could have dinner with his friends and take the train home. They couldn’t care less so he didn’t need to push. “Do what you want,” Madam Yu told him as she got into the car. “Just be quiet when you get back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Wuxian nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Fengmian got into the passenger side, “Have fun kids,” he beamed. “Don’t get into too much trouble.” He pointed at Wuxian, “Get home safe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a while since the trio spent the day together since Yanli’s been in Greater Cloud Recesses the past few years. Just the three of them, no one else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They got to joke around, spend the afternoon exploring the downtown area together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They drove around, singing at the top of their lungs, as Jiang Cheng got used to navigating the area, purposely getting lost on the backroads. They drove with the windows down, letting the wind whip around inside the car, the music escaping into the space around them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They only returned to Jiang Cheng’s dorm building, still crawling with new students moving in, when Wen Ning texted them that they had finished unpacking his things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning and Wen Qing enjoyed the time they spent in the morning. Wen Qing had gone to pick up Wen Ning, packing his things into her car. They made a weekend out of Wen Ning’s move. Stopping in every town on their way back to Great Cloud Recesses. Only when they had finished setting up his half of the room did they reach out to their friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why does your room look so </span>
  <em>
    <span>angsty</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian asked, looking around the dark room. There were barely any accent colors; nearly everything was black. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing laughed, “You act like your room doesn’t look like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan is the king of angst,” Wen Ning pointed out. “And he probably has the brightest and prettiest room right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can confirm,” Yanli said as they all left the room, weaving through the boxes and bags in the hallway. “Zixuan showed me everything he was bringing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Did he bring his plants,” Wen Qing asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course he did,” Yanli replied, turning towards the stairs. The elevator was restricted for people lugging things into the building for the day. “Those are his children.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn, I was going to ask for them.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That would never happen,” Wen Ning replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng laughed, echoing in the staircase. “The thought of Zixuan ever letting you have Blanche…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Or A-Ruo.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Never Pianta,” Wuxian said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want Blanche,” Wen Qing mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing had a variety of plants in her apartment, but she hasn’t been able to get her air plants to grow as large as Blanche. She was massive. None of her friends were into plants like she was with the exception of Yanli and Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli preferred to care for succulents, where Zixuan was notorious for killing succulents… somehow… But air plants? He loved them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It came as a shock when they approached Zixuan and Huaisang’s dorm building. “Can we swing by your apartment before we get dinner,” Zixuan asked Wen Qing before he even greeted everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“These are for you,” he opened his passenger door to show her about 12 of his air plants and 3 other leafy potted plants, all of varying sizes. “They’ll die at Carp Tower, and there’s only so much space in the dorm room for these.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing reached out happily to feel the leaves of one of the potted plants. “And Blanche…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She stays with me,” Zixuan answered. “Garbage is the next biggest,” he pointed to another tillandsia xerographica.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Garbage</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jiang Cheng laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian gaped, “I named Garbage with the utmost love in my heart.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Debatable,” Zixuan took the box of air plants and motioned to Wen Qing to get in. “We’ll stop by your apartment first.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing happily took the box. “I love her,” she said about the largest in the box. It wasn’t Blanche, but she accepted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You love Garbage,” Jiang Cheng cackled, walking down the sidewalk to go get his car. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave her alone,” Yanli followed him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s in her happy place,” Wen Ning got into the back of Zixuan’s car. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll text you where we go,” Wuxian called to his friends as he followed his siblings. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang got in the back with Wen Ning. “You should tell her the rest of the names.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t name all of these, did he?” Wen Qing looked at Zixuan nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not…” Zixuan added quietly, “Wen Ning named some too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am so sorry,” Wen Ning apologized in advance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>acquired new babies</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
    <br/>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to go back,” Wuxian frowned, taking a sad bite of his sundae. “This is sad.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just stay with me and Zixuan,” Huaisang pushed his spoon into his ice cream.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, woah,” Zixuan put down his cup. “I did not agree to that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re never going to last as roommates,” Jiang Cheng muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just Wuxian,” Huaisang said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Precisely.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian gaped, “I resent that, Jin Zixuan.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay with that one,” Zixuan motioned to Jiang Cheng. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>That one</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jiang Cheng repeated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can sleep over if you want to stay, A-Xian,” Yanli spoke up. “I can text Mom and Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Wuxian shook his head sadly. “It’s okay. I have to stop by Yunping in the morning to meet with my advisor. I also need to stop putting off buying my textbooks.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Next time you’re up then,” Yanli smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really not that far,” Huaisang pointed out. “Take a train whenever and someone can pick you up.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t drive,” Wen Ning pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh,” Wuxian leaned back. “I’m going to be so </span>
  <em>
    <span>bored</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You only ever see me,” Jiang Cheng pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian pointed. “Jiang Cheng, please,” he grabbed his hand. “Don’t leave me.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng pulled his hand away with faux disgust. “You have other people in Yunmeng.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They all suck,” Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian pointed to Zixuan. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Besides, no one lets me bother them as much as you let me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m right here,” Wen Qing spoke up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>what could have been would’ve been a fist fight</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
    <br/>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop, stop,” Zixuan stopped everyone from pulling out their cards. “I’ll pay,” Zixuan said to the waitress who brought separate checks.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Yanli tried to stop him but he had already handed the waitress his card. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he said to the waitress who was confused by the commotion that Zixuan started. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even know how much it is,” Wen Qing pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning continued to eat his cake. He wasn’t going to complain. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan replied. “Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to worry about it,” Yanli replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Zixuan signed the receipt that was brought over before the protests continued. “It’s too late anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that was hot,” Huaisang deadpanned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, yes,” Wuxian laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Rich daddy,” Huaisang added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The table went silent before roaring with laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian straight up yelled while Jiang Cheng choked on his water. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span> did you just call me?” Zixuan stared at Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang, nonchalantly, “Rich daddy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli laughed behind her hand while Wen Qing laughed so hard tears sprang from her eyes. “Look at his face!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli squealed and hit the table with her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian cackled hysterically, “Zixuan is going to file for a room change.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just calling him what he is,” Huaisang shrugged. “A-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” Zixuan shot him a look. His ears were noticeably red. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not wrong,” Huaisang smirked to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan could not believe that he was spending his first night at UCR with </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> of his friends calling him “daddy” for the remainder of the night. Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> things. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You do </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> nice thing for your friends, and this is what happens. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well that was the last time he would pay for their food…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>For the month. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Huaisang Found a Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">plant babies </span>
</p><p>
  
  <br/>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang walked into his room holding a massive fake skull under his arm. He froze. Zixuan was sitting at his desk, resting his head on his forearms. “What’s wrong with you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think something is wrong with Blanche,” Zixuan mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When’s the humidifier coming in,” Huaisang asked, closing the door behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Saturday,” Zixuan sat up with a sigh. “I need to visit-” he stopped and stared at Huaisang. “... Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked down at the skull. “It’s Yorick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew him,” Zixuan replied dully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you heard what happened?” Huaisang put the skull on his desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Poor guy…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang clicked his tongue. “It’s a shame…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who are you visiting?” Huaisang redirected the conversation back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wen Qing,” Zixuan sighed. “I should see how the air plants are doing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She can’t keep those alive you know,” Huaisang reminded him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but this room might also be killing Blanche,” Zixuan gave a tiny pat to one of her leaves and pouted. “I’m dropping out if this place kills her.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“She’ll be okay,” Huaisang started putting his things away. “Just text Wen Qing, you’ll figure out what to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan huffed and turned Blanche just slightly in the sun. “I’m sad, distract me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang gasped and shuffled over with his phone. “I think this guy in Intro to Theater is flirting with me! Do you want to see him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Zixuan turned in his chair as Huaisang thrusted the phone into his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t he pretty?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan scrolled through his Instagram. “Good god is that his car,” Zixuan paused his scrolling to zoom in on the background. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked over his shoulder. “I guess? I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That is… A very expensive car,” Zixuan was impressed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My uncle has one.” Zixuan kept scrolling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I forgot he collected cars,” Huaisang pulled himself onto Zixuan’s bed while he continued scrolling. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan held the phone up. “He has a home theater. With </span>
  <em>
    <span>geode </span>
  </em>
  <span>tables.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You also have a home theater… Don’t you have a geode table in your closet?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hesitated. “Fine… But that’s just one table.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Carp Tower is literally dripping in gold,” Huaisang added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Touche,” he turned back to the phone. “Oh that’s just wasteful,” Zixuan muttered to himself upon some more pictures. “Huaisang, </span>
  <em>
    <span>who</span>
  </em>
  <span> is this guy’s family?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged. “I don’t know. Can you stop looking at what he </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and look at him? Should I ask him out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Zixuan laughed and handed the phone back. “What’s he like?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... He likes the arts.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Is that all you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Huaisang glared, “How am I supposed to know more about him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They both paused and answered at the same time, “Ask him out.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Just Some Guy & His Plants</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Zixuan!” Huaisang rushed in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan held up his hand. “Okay… Yup… Yeah… Mhm… Yes, Mom… Okay…. Alright… Love you too, bye.” He hung up. “What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I tell you about Weibang,” Huaisang jumped onto Zixuan’s bed with him. He didn’t give Zixuan a moment to answer, “He’s going for Film and Production, not FPA. He’s also-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan let him ramble excitedly but what he took away was that Weibang was not actually funny, kind of dull, but they did have similar interests. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang seemed to just be excited that he finally went on a date while at UCR. He didn’t seem too interested in Weibang, but rather was looking for a bit of fun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though that’s not how Huaisang was putting it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang just wasn’t talking about him the same way he spoke about the boys he had dated in the past. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re going out again next week!” He gasped excitedly. “Do you think he’ll kiss me? I’m not sure he wants to. Didn’t really feel like a </span>
  <em>
    <span>date</span>
  </em>
  <span> date y’know. It was still fun though. Maybe he won’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at Huaisang energetically thinking aloud. “He will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he did. A week later, Huaisang nearly jumped Zixuan when he finally came back late that night. “Zixuan!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you’re awake,” Zixuan dropped his bag onto his desk. “How was it? Did he kiss you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Zixuan, do you know how </span>
  <em>
    <span>long</span>
  </em>
  <span> it’s been since someone kissed me?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Couple months.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A couple months!” He frowned when he realized Zixuan answered before him. “I like kissing boys!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan laughed and changed behind his closet door. “I know you do. You talk about it a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to keep talking about it until you tell me to stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan smirked and closed the closet door. “... Go on,” he motioned for him to keep talking as he tied his shirt closed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang took a deep breath and kept going. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently a guy in another one of his classes has made a few passes as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan finally visits wen qing</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing glanced around her apartment to make sure everything was neat and clean. Her plants were looking immaculate. The plants, all varying in size, made her apartment look bright and inviting. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Everything was in soft earthy tones, the green of the leaves making everything vibrant and lively. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She put her hands on her hips and took in the space. The temperature was comfortable, her windows cracked just slightly. She nodded to herself. It was perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The quiet knock on the door set her into motion. She straightened out her clothes as she rushed over. “Hey,” she opened her door wide.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan walked in with a sigh, “I’m sorry for coming a whole week late,” he apologized. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” she closed the door behind him. “How are your classes going?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” he nodded. “Only two of my professors suck. Otherwise everything is pretty easy. Just a lot of assignments.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t miss that,” she replied. “Tea?” Wen Qing held out an already made cup for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan took the cup with a smug grin. “Let the ass kissing commence.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing rolled her eyes but motioned to the room. “I’ll let the plant babies speak for themselves.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well the first impression is: holy shit.” Zixuan walked around looking at the plants. “The second is: yikes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yikes</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Why yikes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are the air plants?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right here,” Wen Qing pointed to the cute little display she had them in. “They get just the right amount of sunlight throughout the day here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s great, but there’s only 8 of them. Where’s the rest?” He paused, “Oh, she’s cute,” his fingers hovered over one particular one briefly. “Caput-Medusae.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Medusa.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Creative.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning named it before he even knew what it was.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He turned to look at her. “Didn’t you have several before I gave you mine though?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“...Okay, yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s the rest?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s three more in my room. The rest… Died.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> reassuring, Wen Qing,” Zixuan laughed. “Where’s the big one?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The Garbage? I keep her in my room,” she pulled him along. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>The</span>
  </em>
  <span> Garbage,” Zixuan laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she pushed Zixuan into the small room. “She is </span>
  <em>
    <span>thriving</span>
  </em>
  <span>… Also I renamed her.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Zixuan crouched in front of it. It was doing better than Zixuan anticipated. In fact, he wasn’t concerned about it dying the way he felt about Blanche just a week and a half ago.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Speak.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stood up with a sigh. “Blanche is not going to survive the winter in my dorm room.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I accept.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I-” Zixuan laughed, “I’m not handing her over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Look at that,” she pointed to the large plant. “Hear me out… I am much better at keeping the big ones alive-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am prepared to offer seasonal custody.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing blinked. “Seasonal custody.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen.” Zixuan put his cup down. “You gave me Blanche because she was tiny, and sad, and you already killed your other air plant. I refuse to let her die in that room after three years. I have no control over the temperature there. I also don’t think I’ll get much sun in the winter time from that room.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So I can have her for the winter.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And spring…” Zixuan added.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I accept.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you can keep her alive, I want her back.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I may also bring my other two,” Zixuan trailed off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s mother had a small greenhouse made for him back at Carp Tower when he started keeping an overwhelming amount of plants in his room when he was about 13. It looked too messy to her, and she was worried about the dirt. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Leading up to college, he had slowly started giving his plants away because he knew no one would take care of them when he was gone. But these three had been with him for quite a while and he was very proud of them. Especially Blanche. Blanche was the reason he even loved air plants to the extent that he did. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He thought he was crazy for naming some of them. But he spent a lot of time studying them. He found them interesting; there was a lot to learn. And even more fun to take care of, and learn by doing. He’s gone through his share of air plants but each has helped him care for the next. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But then he found out that Wen Qing loved plants as much as he did. She found it odd at first, that Jin Zixuan of all people would be interested in the subject. It was messy sometimes. You were bound to be covered in dirt and sweat at some point. Things that Zixuan refused to associate with. “I can manage just fine,” he had told her once while he was holding a small string-of-pearls. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had put it on the wall above his bed for quite some time until his mother made him take it out. He saw how Wen Qing was eyeing it. She had come to visit Zixuan with Yanli, but Yanli got dragged away by Madam Jin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here,” he held it out. “You can have it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She took it and gently caressed the small bulbs. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to see the greenhouse?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They bonded quickly over their love for plants. Wen Qing was actually quite surprised with how gentle and cautious Zixuan was around plants. She thought part of it might be from his aversion to being dirty. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had gardening clothes for one. He would carefully roll his sleeves before he handled anything in the greenhouse. He would tie his hair neatly into a pretty topknot. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You should do something like this for a living,” Wen Qing had told him once when he had visited her. It was around the time he was applying to colleges. Zixuan laughed at the suggestion. “I’m serious.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t,” he smiled sadly while helping her in her own garden. “It’s not very Jin-like.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t,” he shook his head. “At the end of the day, I’ll have to take over for my father. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he looked around him. “Is not in the books.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so you’re not a Jin-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-What-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She held up her hand. “Hold on. You’re not a Jin. You’re just… Some guy. What would you be doing right now? If you could do anything you wanted, because you’re just… Some guy… What would you be doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Applying to schools still, hopefully.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect world, you have nothing stopping you. You can have anything you want. What is it? Don’t think.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Baling University has a great Horticultural Science program. And Botany…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay you take one, or both-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well if I did Botany with Horticultural Science, I’d go for a Bachelor of Arts, not Science.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We respect that too,” she nodded. “What then?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan thought while pushing a worm away from him with the shovel. “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just some guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed. Just some guy? In a perfect world? “I don’t know. I guess I’d open a little flower shop and studio.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Studio?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess,” he shrugged. “Show people how you </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> be staging your plants. Minimalistic or not.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Wen Qing laughed. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Staging</span>
  </em>
  <span>… Like home staging, but… With plants.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just some guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing and Zixuan pushed each other’s buttons but it was all in good fun. They understood each other quite well. She had tried her hand with air plants and wasn’t too confident working with plants that didn’t require dirt of any kind. But Zixuan, he was the perfect person to try his hand with these interesting sky plants. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So she gave him Blanche, that she already named. And Zixuan found a new challenge. It seemed easy enough at first so he got himself more. Then it wasn’t so easy all the time after all. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They were a bit picky. Blanche was the only one who survived while the rest Zixuan learned from definitely did not. Some rotted, some dried up, some got sunburn, some he thought were fine and then they just fell apart. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Blanche has been perfect.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll probably bring Blanche sometime at the end of next month,” Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll trade you one of these bad boys when you do,” Wen Qing motioned to her shelf of small succulents.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The aloe vera in the white pot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Deal. And you can keep it when you take Blanche back.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Wen Qing clasped her hands. “Now that that is settled. Get out, I don’t like men here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan let her push him out of the room and towards the front door of her apartment. “You want to grab lunch?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d rather not spend unnecessary time with you,” Wen Qing laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pretended to be offended. “Why? I’m just some guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing eyed him suspiciously. “What are you up to?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to come to lunch to find out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. To Each Their Own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Huaisang was actually surprised with himself for </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> having slept with Weibang yet. “I am absolutely going to,” Huaisang said to Wuxian through their video call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, yes, do it, live your life,” Wuxian paused. “But don’t you hate parties like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan walked into the room with a bag under his arm. “Parties?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang is going to a party tonight,” Wuxian called out through the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you hated-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang groaned, “Oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span> guys. Yes, okay, I hate them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So why are you going,” Zixuan plugged in his cell phone and leaned against his desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wants to suck some dick,” Wuxian laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Literally yes,” Huaisang deadpanned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan blinked. “It always comes back to this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian laughed over the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course</span>
  </em>
  <span> it always comes back to this!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can contribute too, y'know,” Wuxian said to Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me, I don’t know- what girls like or something,” Huaisang said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stared at him, “Oh my god.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian spoke up, “Go sleep with someone and tell us about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Frankly Zixuan hated when his friends got like this. A lot. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t care when they talked about themselves, but he hated when they turned the attention towards him, even if it was for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, and grabbed his phone and keys. “I’m going to Mianmian’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian screamed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not- nevermind.” He closed the door. It wasn’t worth it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just didn’t get half the shit they were talking about and really preferred to not talk about himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>To each their own, of course, but he really didn’t want to be discussing himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re here early,” Mianmian said in surprise when Zixuan walked through the door. “I’m good to go for this movie marathon, I just need to finish this report real quick.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine,” Zixuan dropped heavily on the small couch. “Don’t rush.” He dropped his head back. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan closed his eyes and crossed his arms. “Just annoyed. Wake me up when you’re done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a late night for everyone</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
    <br/>
    
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t a heavy sleeper, but he was by no means a light sleeper either. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His phone had probably rung for the fifth time when he finally rolled out of bed to answer it. “I left my key,” Huaisang said before Zixuan could even open his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was 4AM.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hung up and shuffled tiredly to the door. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled the door open just enough and turned back to his bed. He was way too tired for this. “Thanks” Huaisang whispered apologetically. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan just grunted and rolled into his bed and passed out immediately. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Zixuan's Greenhouse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan peeked into Guangyao’s room to see his head down on his desk. Maybe he wasn’t going to say hi. </p><p> </p><p>He walked in and turned off the desk lamp for him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m awake,” Guangyao sighed. He looked up at Zixuan tiredly. “Did I miss dinner?”</p><p> </p><p>“You did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great,” Guangyao looked at his notebooks in front of him. “Did they notice?”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan bit the inside of his cheek. Neither was a good answer. “No, sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“No that’s,” he shook his head and closed all of his notebooks. “That’s good.” He preferred they were too distracted by Zixuan being home than acknowledge him in this case. He stood with a tired sigh, “I need to go for a run.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Zixuan made his way out.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Zixuan,” Guangyao called.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Want to go for a run with me?”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan was surprised and despite <em> not </em> wanting to go for a run, he also wasn’t going to say no. They barely spoke, much less did anything together. </p><p> </p><p>They met at the front gates to Carp Tower after they had changed. They had pulled their hair up into a tight neat bun and had their airpods already in place. Frankly Zixuan was concerned about keeping up with Guangyao. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan didn’t run as much as he used to. He actually hadn’t even visited the gym <em> once </em> since the semester started. He was surely going to struggle to keep up with Guangyao who ran frequently. </p><p> </p><p>He was grateful that Guangyao wasn’t the talking type because he would’ve run out of breath so quickly if he was one of those jog-and-talk kind of people. </p><p> </p><p>He was happy it was dark outside because he would have to run even faster if he started sweating for real. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan didn’t sweat. </p><p> </p><p>Unless you were a competitive athlete, a Jin didn’t sweat. Not profusely. Nothing more than a thin sheen. Not if anyone was going to see you. </p><p> </p><p>It’s why Zixuan chose to <em> not </em> pursue sports in any capacity besides working out on his own time. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want an excuse to sweat. Just the feeling of sweat beading on his skin bothered him. The thought of it alone made him feel like he needed to shower. </p><p> </p><p>But he surprised himself, that or Guangyao surely slowed down for him. Regardless, he wasn’t in as bad of shape as he thought he was. Though he was definitely going to feel it later. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe he should start running again. Or actually visit the gym. </p><p> </p><p>Or at least take the stairs whenever he could on campus. </p><p> </p><p>At least to let off some steam. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan slowed down when he saw the greenhouse in the corner of his eye. </p><p> </p><p>Guangyao came to a slow stop when he realized Zixuan wasn’t beside him anymore. Zixuan looked at him in confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p> </p><p>Stones were piled in front of the greenhouse and some other hints of the beginning of a construction project. Guangyao turned his music down, “Ah… Your mother mentioned wanting to build a firepit. This might be where…” His voice trailed off. </p><p> </p><p>Guangyao was used to the feeling of being completely and utterly disappointed by something that was promised to him by Madam Jin or his father. But Zixuan was not. </p><p> </p><p>He watched as Zixuan processed. “So,” Zixuan let out a laugh. “So she made me clear this out, because no one was going to take care of it for a while. Just to get <em> rid </em> of it while I’m gone for a few months?”</p><p> </p><p>Guangyao didn’t say anything. He knew the greenhouse was Zixuan’s idea but he didn’t realize his attachment to it. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan let out another laugh and looked at Guangyao with a disappointed smile. “That’s great.” Zixuan bit the inside of his cheek. “Because two isn’t enough right?” He asked sarcastically. “The second one with the fucking massive koi pond wasn’t doing it, right?” He was pissed to be quite frank. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan started bargaining in his own head. Maybe if he gave something up she would let him keep the greenhouse for when he came back home in the summer? What could he even give up though? Everything he had was through his father, it wasn’t actually his. </p><p> </p><p>Except the car. </p><p> </p><p>But that wasn’t logical. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t have a space that was his besides his room and the greenhouse. </p><p> </p><p>It’s not like he was owed it either. His father let him have this small corner of the property for the greenhouse. It was just a “phase” to them. A brief interest in learning about plant life. “It’ll be temporary,” his mom had said to convince Guangshan to just go along with it. He didn’t realize that temporary meant just five years. </p><p> </p><p>He knew he couldn’t focus on this forever. He knew he’d have to give up on it at some point but damn. He didn’t expect to lose it so fast. </p><p> </p><p>At least he could keep his three plants in his room without his mom getting upset. As long as he could have those three, just a little bit of green, just a little bit of life… That was fine. </p><p> </p><p>Now if they could just survive a winter in GCR. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan kept running. </p><p><br/>He ran until he felt the sweat drip. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Blanche,” Huaisang asked after her noticeable absence on Zixuan’s desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wen Qing’s.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Already?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Moving his xerographica was the first thing he did when he got back to campus. Wen Qing didn’t know why he dropped the plant off earlier than anticipated but she could tell he was in a bad mood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang could tell too. “Well these are cute here,” Huaisang tapped the leaf on the monstera deliciosa. “She’s getting big.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced at it. He hummed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bigger than A-Ruo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Zixuan continued rearranging his closet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned, “Do you want to talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not particularly.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can though.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Huaisang & His Boys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
  <br/>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning had borrowed Jiang Cheng’s car to pick up Wuxian on Monday evening. Jiang Cheng had an evening class to finish up but Zixuan would drive him to Yanli’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until then, the rest of them were in the process of making their snacks while they caught up with Wuxian.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m going to leave it as is,” Wuxian said. “She’s not my type,” he dumped the bag of popcorn into a large bowl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh hey,” Wen Qing nudged Huaisang. “Isn’t that what you’ve been saying?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang narrowed his eyes, “Who told you?” Wen Qing smirked and motioned to Wen Ning who sat innocently on the couch drinking his apple juice. Huaisang rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian was completely lost. “What did I miss?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing answered, “Huaisang has called it off with that film guy like three times now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Weibang?” Wuxian questioned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” Huaisang sighed. “Sex.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heard.” Wuxian nodded. “Valid.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning called from the couch, “Tell him about the other guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Other guy?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded, “Other guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh the swimmer?” Yanli looked up from the oven.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning narrowed his eyes. “Swimmer? I’m talking about the one from the library.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know about the swimmer,” Huaisang asked Yanli.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Qing told me,” she shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t tell you,” Huaisang pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing smirked. “Jiang Cheng.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, wait,” Wuxian pulled his attention back. “Tell me about these other two.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was getting bored with Weibang. Not to mention he was a bit rude. He always judged whatever Huaisang expressed an interest in if it didn’t align with his interests. And he thought his appreciation of fans was particularly stupid. He had actually started talking to him less if it was possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other two… Well he only just started talking to them. He didn’t know much about them yet and he hadn’t even really gotten Zixuan’s input on them yet either.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The library boy was quiet but he was in the FPA club and was going to be the lead in the Fall Show that Huaisang was working on. He was a junior and he had met Huaisang at one of the FPA parties. He was fun to fool around with...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The swimmer Huaisang had met in the campus center. He was working at the cafe booth and had written his number on Huaisang’s cup. He definitely just wanted to hook up. And Huaisang was maybe okay with that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” Wuxian grinned. “The man you’ve become in college.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing rolled her eyes and pushed the snacks towards them. “Go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep me updated on these specific developments,” Wuxian said to Huaisang as they joined Wen Ning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng opened the door to the apartment clumsily. “Sorry, I had to talk to my professor after class,” he huffed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan followed in with a massive plant in his arms. Wen Qing looked at him curiously as he set it down on the counter. “The heat is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> on in my room and it’s starting to get too cold for this one,” he explained.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Say no more,” Wen Qing stopped him. The pilea peperomioides could stay for a bit longer, but he would probably need to hand it over the colder it got outside. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Start the movie,” Jiang Cheng shuffled over to everyone with a box of cereal he had stashed in his backpack.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang and Zixuan eventually and properly caught up on Huaisang’s boy debacle when they decided to go downtown for some local casual dining.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang took a sip from his water. “Thoughts?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed, pushing the ice in his cup down with the straw. “Drop Weibang,” he said flat out. “You can sleep with swimmer boy instead. At least he’s not a jerk. But stop asking him out. He isn’t interested in that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, right,” Huaisang nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>But</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan stopped him. “You could </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>sleep with swimmer and try for the actor. That could be a full package right there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so you think he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>interested</span>
  </em>
  <span> interested,” Huaisang leaned forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“From what you tell me, yeah,” Zixuan slid his cup closer to lean over and take a sip. “I mean it sounds like he is. You could try? But if you try, you should drop the swimmer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could, I could,” Huaisang agreed. “And if I don’t end up liking him then at least I gave it a try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan snorted, “At least you gave it a try,” he repeated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s crushes never lasted long. They were </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> brief infatuations. They ended pretty fast but he always stuck around because he was flattered by the guys. He acknowledged it once and told Zixuan, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> if I just stay around, it’ll come back and I’ll have a crush on them again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He never did. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang cleared the space in front of him while they waited for their food and motioned to Zixuan. “Your turn.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My turn?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Huaisang was chipper. “I’ve seen you walking around campus with some girl a lot lately.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that all I get?” Huaisang feigned offense. “Is this the person you’re up texting half night? What’s her name?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zhang Yu,” Zixuan said slowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The same Zhang Yu that you have in half of your classes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan replied. “It’s nothing though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you say that?” Huaisang made a face, “Her personality sucks doesn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan laughed, “No, her personality is fine. I just think I’d rather keep it as friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan did like her, but he wasn’t sure to what extent. He couldn’t imagine things ever getting serious though. None of his past girlfriends were that serious. They never wanted to stay friends after, even though they always broke up on good terms. He didn’t blame them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Staying friends with Zhang Yu was the better bet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Sugar Daddy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Are you sure,” Zixuan asked Huaisang. “I can drop you off, it’s really not an issue.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Huaisang shook his head, still trying to put all of his laundry away. “I’ll just head to Lotus Root whenever I’m done cleaning. Besides I’ve already blown through my money for the month so I want to make sure I’m covered for the movie theater. I’d feel bad if Yanli knew that and gave me free tea again. I said I’d buy Wen Ning’s ticket this time,” he explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned against the door. “Do you need money?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No it’s fine,” Huaisang brushed it off. “I’ll have more in two weeks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you going out for drinks with Wen Ning after the movies though?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Huaisang shrugged. “If I flirt a bit I’ll get someone else to pay for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mn.” Zixuan pulled out his phone. If Huaisang does get drunk he’ll probably try to do some online shopping (at least he had the last few times) and he was sure to overdraft his bank account. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked down at his phone when it pinged. “Zixuan,” he turned around in surprise. “What-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t spend all of it you can send it back,” Zixuan tucked his phone away.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay but </span>
  <em>
    <span>fifty</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Get snacks before the movie,” he shrugged. “Go to the store around the corner first though. You can get more snacks for less.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“This is very daddy of you,” Huaisang pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan choked, “Sorry </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> did you say?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Rich daddy Zixuan,” Huaisang laughed, looking down at his phone to transfer the money into his bank account.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Zaddy?” Huaisang thought out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang smiled mischievously at Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan gave him a warning look, “Don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay,” Huaisang laughed. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You stress me out,” Zixuan grumbled on his way out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye,” Huaisang called after him. “Have fun on your date!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a date,” he called back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>sugar daddy</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
    <br/>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>from underling to lord</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
    <br/>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>can i call you daddy</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
    <br/>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is,” Zixuan looked through Wuxian’s things. “This is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of credits.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure is,” Wuxian snorted as he was finishing up the paper he put on hold for dinner. “I really don’t mind though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like you’re going to burn yourself out,” Zixuan said honestly as he picked up his biology textbook. “Why are you even taking biology?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I only just managed to get signed in at the last second,” he explained. “The botany course has a prerequisite of a lab and I really wanted to take that. I want to take at </span>
  <em>
    <span>least</span>
  </em>
  <span> one course that has nothing to do with my track every semester. You and Wen Qing always talk about plants. Seemed fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Botany,” Zixuan hummed as he flipped through the textbook. “Maybe I know some of the things you’ll cover.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe! If I ever get stuck I’ll ask you first,” Wuxian said. “The course covers the basics though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan doubted he would actually be any help regardless. He was entirely self-taught when it came to plant life. His father wouldn’t let him take any elective courses if the university didn’t require him to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Botany course at UCR was generalized and covered the basics, much like the one at Yunping. Zixuan wanted to take the specifics. He wanted to take Biochemistry, Plant Taxonomy, Study of Ferns, Floriculture Production, Greenhouse Management… Courses that UCR lacked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Courses that Baling U had. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it’ll be interesting,” Zixuan said to Wuxian. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and,” Wuxian turned around excitedly. “If I do it right, next Fall I could be taking a course on Stravinsky? I think </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>. A whole course on Stravinsky. What the hell?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan scoffed and tossed the textbook to the side. “As long as you don’t overwhelm yourself with courses, go for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be fine,” Wuxian scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t so sure. He saw how Guangyao was by constantly overwhelming his schedule. He seemed to have everything in order, he seemed to be thriving. But every once in a while Zixuan saw him and he looked like he was truly drowning.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’d hate to see Wuxian fall down a similar hole because he thought he had to be over productive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian considered the look Zixuan gave him. He didn’t know about Guangyao. As far as he knew, Zixuan and his family still called him Meng Yao. As far as he knew, Zixuan didn’t care what Meng Yao was up to these days. Wuxian rolled his eyes, “If I get too overwhelmed I’ll come to you. Promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Guangyao's Car Issues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Guangyao didn’t want to do it. But he didn’t think he had a choice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should’ve left campus about 20 minutes ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swiped into the cafeteria when he saw Zixuan from a distance. He beelined straight towards him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t spoken to Zixuan </span>
  <em>
    <span>once</span>
  </em>
  <span> on campus and he was hoping to really limit that. He didn’t have to worry about it in high school since they went to different schools, but now that they didn’t he did his best to not associate with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cleared his throat as he walked up behind Zixuan. Zixuan turned and immediately choked on his water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His three friends glanced around the table in confusion. None of them even knew who he was except for Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need a favor,” Guangyao announced without hesitation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, okay,” Zixuan replied. Guangyao looked at his friends from the corner of his eye, remaining tightlipped and rigid. “Right,” he pushed away from the table. The two of them walked further towards the corner of the cafeteria, a spot that was generally empty. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My car died, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> my phone died. Father has someone from the Board of Trustees coming to Carp Tower for dinner and I was told I had to be there,” Guangyao replied. “Can you get me a Lyft and I’ll send you the money for it once I’m home?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, just take my car,” Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold on,” Zixuan jogged back to the table and quickly grabbed the keys from his bag, ignoring his friends entirely to turn and go back to Guangyao. “This is faster. You’re more likely to make it this way,” he held out his keys. “I don’t need it anyways. It’s parked in the lot next to my dorm.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao hesitated but took the keys. “Thank you,” he was already turning to leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, give me your keys. Where is your car?” Zixuan stopped him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Side street off the library,” he replied, quickly tossing the keys to Zixuan before running off.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan would have someone look at it. Maybe the battery was dead. He had no idea how to jumpstart it but he could make a call. Or maybe Wen Ning could look at it… Wen Ning knew cars…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sat back at the table with a sigh, placing the keys on the table. He picked up his cup and looked up to see his friends staring at him. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked back at his food and pretended to be more concerned with what was on his plate. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning slowly chewed and pointed over his shoulder in confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Who was that,” Jiang Cheng asked. “Which cousin is that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan blinked. “He’s not a cousin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not a cousin,” Jiang Cheng muttered to Wen Ning and Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang ignored him and kept eating. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning thought, “Is that Meng Yao?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Meng Yao,” Jiang Cheng turned to Zixuan in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Jin Guangyao,” Zixuan corrected them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Jiang Cheng paused. “I’ve seen that name… Where have I seen that name… He’s not your cousin?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You two talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really,” Zixuan replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he still annoying?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed. “He wasn’t annoying.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng was confused. “Ah. So you guys are okay then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">thanks </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning tied his hair back. “It’s definitely a dead battery. Should be all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get my car,” Jiang Cheng said. “I’ll be back in a few.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll come,” Huaisang pushed himself up from the sidewalk and caught up to Jiang Cheng. “Have you jumped a car before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have,” Jiang Cheng replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t,” Huaisang held his hands behind his back, a pep in his step. “Mingjue showed me a couple times but I’m going to watch Wen Ning do it too. Keep the memory fresh,” he tapped his temple. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t remember at all do you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should do it then,” Jiang Cheng pointed out. “So you actually retain it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I’d rather not this time,” Huaisang said slowly. “It being dark and all outside.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng snorted and shook his head. “Sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took them a moment to even find where Jiang Cheng’s car was in the dorm parking lot. He hadn’t driven it in a week and a half so it was probably best that he start it up and drive it for a minute anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Meng Yao,” Jiang Cheng thought out loud suddenly. “Did you know? You didn’t seem surprised.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang buckled in as Jiang Cheng backed out of his spot. “I did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What else do you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not much.” A half lie. “They don’t talk too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Back at the car, “We don’t talk too much,” Zixuan answered Wen Ning’s question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you talk,” Wen Ning said. “That’s nice though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess.” Zixuan nodded to Wen Ning to indicate the other two were coming up behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning got the jumper cables ready as Jiang Cheng pulled up and turned off his car. Zixuan waited in the car until Wen Ning told him to try and start it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>just go to sleep</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Someone Like Zixuan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zixuan had just gotten back to the room after switching his car keys with Guangyao. The car needed to be jumped again. Guangyao was going to bring it in immediately to get the battery replaced. He practically lived in his car with how often he was driving. He couldn’t have it die on him again like that. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan had crawled back into bed, ready to nap his Saturday away but Huaisang came screeching into the room. </p><p> </p><p>“What is wrong with you,” Zixuan groaned as Huaisang started pushing Zixuan back towards the wall. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan let him leap into his bed and start shaking him. “He fucking <em> confessed </em>, Zixuan!”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan opened his eyes back up and frowned at Huaisang. “Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Weibang </em> . He fucking <em> confessed </em> , oh my <em> god </em>!”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan rolled onto his back and stared up at Huaisang in confusion. “I thought you dropped him for the other one?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Yeah </em>,” Huaisang laughed out, “I did! I mean that’s not going anywhere either but,” he scoffed. “Zixuan, he-” Huaisang yelled until ZIxuan put his hand over his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you say?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well I just stared at him in shock because I literally haven’t spoken to him in like three weeks outside of class… Except for when we hooked up that one time,” Huaisang scratched his head. “But I don’t remember when that was.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan rolled his eyes. “Okay, but what did you <em> say </em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“That I was flattered but I’m not looking for anything serious,” Huaisang said slowly. “Should I have said something different?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re asking the wrong person,” Zixuan laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re right,” Huaisang nodded. “I should ask Yanli since she always rejects you.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan scoffed and rolled over to face the wall.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Zixuan </em> ,” Huaisang whined and draped himself over him. “How do I make it stop? He doesn’t even like half the shit I like, I don’t <em> get it </em>.” Zixuan looked at Huaisang who pouted at him. “He’s fun but lowkey really mean too. I did not see this coming. Boys really are mean to you if they like you, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely not,” Zixuan replied. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang groaned and sat up. “I hate boys. My head hurts.”</p><p> </p><p>“Take a nap,” Zixuan suggested. </p><p> </p><p>“Can we cuddle,” Huaisang pouted. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan rolled over, “Sure,” he sighed.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang settled under Zixuan’s arm and closed his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Why the fuck would he confess? All he did was make fun of Huaisang’s interests or talk down to him. And when he wasn’t doing that, they would fuck. It’s the only time Huaisang liked him. It’s the only time he got something out of knowing him. If that’s what he wanted, he literally just had to say that…</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t possibly actually <em> like </em> Huaisang… Could he?</p><p> </p><p>“I can feel you thinking,” Zixuan mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s stupid. Doesn’t deserve you.”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang glanced over his shoulder at Zixuan. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know what he did to still have Zixuan as a friend after all these years. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan was… a great person to know to say the least. That wasn’t to say he didn’t have his own faults. He was <em> very </em>judgmental towards people upon their first meeting. He didn’t trust anyone, there was no benefit of the doubt to be given. He was very guarded and concerned about how he was perceived. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t <em> hate </em> people so much as he was indifferent towards those he preferred to not be around. </p><p> </p><p>Except for Wuxian. He hated him when they met. </p><p> </p><p>And Guangyao…</p><p> </p><p>Wuxian and Guangyao were the two exceptions. He was living proof that the opposite of love wasn’t hate, but indifference. He just couldn’t be bothered to waste his time on shitty people.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan could be harsh, but he typically kept it to himself. At least he did these days. Well, he tried to. He usually managed to catch himself before he would say something that he’d regret. </p><p> </p><p>He was constantly learning. Learning how to be a better person, from his experiences, and in his interests. He admits his faults and wrongdoings with ease though he absolutely <em> hated </em> confrontation. He just <em> hated </em>feeling awkward and out of place. </p><p> </p><p>In fact, he usually came across as overconfident. </p><p> </p><p>He seemed very holier-than-thou but once you actually talked to him you quickly realize that he wasn’t. </p><p> </p><p>He seemed intimidating but he could also be very gentle and soft spoken sometimes. Though that depended on who he was around.</p><p> </p><p>People who fall in love hard and fast… Zixuan was that kind of person, but with friends. It didn’t happen often, but once he started opening up to the idea of someone being a close friend, he would do anything for them. Absolutely <em> anything </em>. </p><p> </p><p>He was surprisingly much more patient with his friends than he was with even himself. He cherished his friendships and he made sure they all knew that. Maybe not through words but however he could. Whatever they needed from him, he was ready to give. Protect them, help them, buy them whatever they needed…</p><p> </p><p>He was admittedly too comfortable having an overabundance of money. He was too comfortable getting what he wanted. Though he didn’t like to surround himself with expensive, gaudy, and unneeded items, he didn’t buy anything cheap. It was familiar to him, and he relied very heavily on having the money he had.</p><p> </p><p>His thoughts were deep and never ending. He didn’t usually think out loud but when he did, that’s when you learned the most about him. His interests, his concerns, what he was willing to fight for.</p><p> </p><p>He was actually quite funny as well. A lot of things he said or did were unintentionally funny but so genuine and endearing.</p><p> </p><p>He acted like he hated being touched by others and he valued his personal space but it was obvious throughout the years that Huaisang had come to know that that just wasn’t the case.</p><p> </p><p>And he was pretty. He knew people thought he was pretty and maybe he let it feed his ego a little bit but... He wasn’t too fond of the attention from anyone who <em> fawned </em> over him. He’d prefer to be in the background. He was quite good at being diplomatic, professional, and academic in every sense. He was fine being in front of cameras, and had zero issues with public speaking, but he would rather be behind the scenes. He’d rather not make himself <em> too </em>known. Otherwise things were expected of him. Things he didn’t want a hand in. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang quite admired Zixuan. He admired how he equally had the air of, and <em> was, </em>a respectable Jin, but simultaneously was not comparable to most of his family. </p><p> </p><p>While they were pompous, greedy, and stupidly and loudly imperial… Zixuan was proud but not too boastful. He was careful. Quieter. He cared about people. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang needed to find someone kind of like Zixuan... </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>… Maybe Zixuan <em> did </em> like Zhang Yu?</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t entirely sure but he <em> was </em> kissing her. That alone really threw him off but… Well shit…</p><p> </p><p>They were supposed to just be friends. She wasn’t expecting anything from him, was she? </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to do this. </p><p> </p><p>Zhang Yu pushed him down onto her bed. </p><p> </p><p>Okay well, maybe he could do <em> this </em>, but-</p><p> </p><p>“Wait,” Zixuan stopped her.</p><p> </p><p>Zhang Yu sat back, her clothes were already sliding off her shoulders. “What?”</p><p> </p><p>Well shit… </p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, nevermind,” Zixuan pulled her back down, catching her lips with his own.</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t mean anything. </p><p> </p><p>It never did. </p><p> </p><p>But this time, it definitely didn’t mean anything, because Zhang Yu <em> didn’t </em> want anything more than this either. </p><p> </p><p>Surprisingly, to Zixuan, it didn’t change how they interacted otherwise either. Nothing was awkward or tense. Nothing changed. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan was used to things changing after. </p><p> </p><p>But it didn’t. In fact, they felt less pressure to talk to each other constantly. </p><p> </p><p>Their friendship became <em> more </em> casual after and… Well he didn’t care that it had. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Okay what about this set design,” Mo Xuanyu turned his sketchbook to Huaisang. “And for the second act,” he flipped the page. </p><p> </p><p>“You should definitely submit that,” Huaisang confirmed after inspecting it carefully. </p><p> </p><p>For their upcoming project they had to take something that they had read in the course and design either a set concept, or costume. Huaisang had decided on costumes since they didn’t know what the second part of the project was yet. </p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t going to risk having to attempt making anything to do with sets. It would only end up looking like a third grader had tried to make a mitochondria out of clay, tossed it into a shoebox, and deemed it a worthy diorama. </p><p> </p><p>But sewing one of his designs? That he could do quite easily. He hadn’t touched a sewing machine since he moved but he knew he could pick it up with ease.</p><p> </p><p>Frankly he missed it a lot. But he never bothered bringing his stuff to Greater Cloud Recesses… Maybe it was worth doing so next time he was back for a visit…</p><p> </p><p>He might even make his design for the fun of it. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang had taken Xuanyu up on his offer to hang out while they worked on their project but he got distracted by his phone so often that he had done only half of the work that Huaisang had managed to complete. “Who are you texting,” Huaisang asked. </p><p> </p><p>No shock that he was nosy. </p><p> </p><p>He always wanted to know everything that was going on around him. </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Xuanyu looked up. Huaisang motioned to the phone. “Oh, sorry,” he put his phone back down. “I’m working on a presentation with someone from one of my classes for our midterm. I hadn’t actually talked to him until our professor made us partners.”</p><p> </p><p>“Personally I hate group work,” Huaisang replied.</p><p> </p><p>“I usually do too,” he nodded. “But he’s really smart. Like… <em> really </em> smart. Big brain smart.”</p><p> </p><p>“What class is this?” Huaisang leaned back.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s that sociology course I was telling you about,” Xuanyu replied. “It’s a lot better than I thought it was. Kinda fascinating.”</p><p> </p><p>“So who’s the big brain guy?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not a freshman-”</p><p> </p><p>“I might know him,” Huaisang said. “Is he in the FPA department? Or Literature?”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em> think </em>? Don’t know. It’s Jin Guangyao?”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang blinked, “Sorry, <em> who </em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know him?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not really, no,” Huaisang said slowly. He glanced at Xuanyu’s phone as it went off again. “I didn’t really peg him for the talkative type though.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think he is,” Xuanyu answered.</p><p> </p><p>Well this was an interesting development to Huaisang. He kind of wanted to see how Guangyao was talking to Xuanyu.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Zixuan,” Huaisang barged into their room. “I was just-” he stopped. “Oh, my bad.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan looked up from his phone, unfazed. “Hey. This is Zhang Yu.”</p><p> </p><p>Zhang Yu smiled at Huaisang but hopped off Zixuan’s bed. “That’s my cue to get off my ass and finally go to class I guess,” she laughed. </p><p> </p><p>“Good luck surviving midterms,” she said to them both on her way out.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang gave Zixuan a questioning look. “She… seems nice I guess? What were you guys up to?”</p><p> </p><p>“Helping her study,” Zixuan folded his legs and tossed his phone to the side. “Did you finish your project?”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang closed their door, “I did!” Zixuan cupped his hands and held them out. Huaisang pulled his drawings out and handed them to Zixuan. “I just have to do the write up and it’ll be done for tomorrow!”</p><p> </p><p>“These look great,” Zixuan flipped through slowly to take in the details. “Do you have to <em> make </em> any of these?”</p><p> </p><p>“I have no idea,” Huaisang sat in Zixuan’s chair. “I wouldn’t mind though.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d love to see one of these in person,” he said, impressed. “They’re really good, Huaisang,” he handed them back. “Okay,” he clapped. “Do you still need to run your lines?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Give me your script,” Zixuan replied. “Do your thing. If you get stuck I’ll give you the line.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">huaisang doesn’t know why he’s jealous </span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. End of Their First Semester at UCR</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan announced, “I come bearing my final offering,” he held out his pilea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing hesitantly took the plant. “Are you sure? You’re only on campus for a couple more weeks before you go home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To come straight back here after, what, a month?” Zixuan tapped a leaf. “Take it. Where’s Blanche?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah!” Wen Qing grabbed Zixuan and pulled him to her room. She couldn’t wait to brag about how well Blanche was doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>worthy of such a title</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was getting tired of the boys he was hanging around. He had grown accustomed to the thought of </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> having a boyfriend his freshman year but… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He really was tired of hopping from boy to boy; boys who didn’t care. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he’d shake it up next semester.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed at his half packed bag and looked over at Zixuan who was busy putting on some lip balm. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That would be an interesting way to shake it up</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Huaisang thought to himself before it occurred to him that he was looking at Zixuan of all people. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>I mean he wanted to kiss Zixuan again. He thought about it occasionally. Not that he’d ever admit that. But he did consider how to go about making it happen again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’s done a considerable amount of complaining since that night and Zixuan never once brought it up, or ever made a single move towards him like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Annoying him was not going to work. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Friends probably shouldn’t think about kissing their friends, right?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was straight for god’s sake.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was just a tad curious about it though.. It’s not like he liked Zixuan like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just kind of wanted to kiss him, y’know?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Just for a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing crazy. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to kiss his best friend. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Just one more time. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Didn’t mean anything at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan felt Huaisang’s eyes on him. He looked up from his laptop and tilted his chair back. “What’s wrong with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to do something tonight? Before we go home tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you guys want to come to Lotus Pier,” Yanli asked Wen Qing. “For the holidays?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing hummed, “Maybe. Wen Ning is going to stay with me for a bit before we drive to our aunt and uncle’s for a week. Maybe after that we can stop by for a few days? If that’s okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli smiled, “Of course. Let me know. I know everyone would love to have you guys.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure we can figure out timing so the cafe isn’t closed for too long,” Wen Qing nodded. They had come to realize that the cafe heavily relied on the UCR academic calendar. Their slowest time was between fall and spring semester; spring semester being their busiest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which, speaking of the cafe,” Yanli spoke up. “Huaisang just ordered a lot of looseleaf and paid a bit extra since we’ll be closed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh he didn’t have to do that,” Wen Qing replied, “He doesn’t live that far away. We can just drop it off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli shrugged, “He insisted.” She paused. “Where’s your charger? My phone is going to die.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My room,” Wen Qing told her, pulling their dinner out of her oven. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli came out not a moment later, “I keep forgetting you have Blanche here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I feel like she’s going to be here for a while,” Wen Qing tossed the oven mitt to the side. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Isn’t it going back to Lanling this summer with Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Last time I spoke to him, he was thinking maybe it was best to just leave her here instead of constantly moving her around,” Wen Qing explained. “Has he said anything to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli pursed her lips. “Mmm, no, no I don’t think so. Why? Do you think something is wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She thought so. But she wasn’t sure Yanli knew what Zixuan had been talking to Wen Qing about this semester. Lately he just seemed to be brushing off the ideas and plans that filled him with such excitement before. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know…” She let out a loud sigh. “Now that I’ve gone and worried you,” she frowned at the look of concern on Yanli’s face. “Dinner’s ready?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Yanli let out a light laugh and smiled at the small set table. “It looks </span>
  <em>
    <span>amazing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Thank you, Wen Qing.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Just Suppose The Worst Will Happen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A week into their second semester at UCR and Zixuan was so short on patience. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he had arrived back home for break, the greenhouse was officially gone, his mother was showing off the new firepit area, and his father made him meet any UCR trustee that came through their gates.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to get some sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t even necessary that he meet the trustees and spend his entire day following his father around. And yet...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to be left alone and </span>
  <em>
    <span>sleep</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thought maybe when he got back to campus he could, but that clearly wasn’t in the books. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friends were constantly trying to get together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every night was a new plan that they dragged him into. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t the only one annoyed either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang got to their room to see Zixuan already curled up in bed, his laptop was playing some show that Huaisang wasn’t familiar with; eyes were closed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He quietly grabbed his own laptop from his desk and slipped back out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had been noticeably grumpy since they got back for the new semester. He was less talkative than he usually was, and he didn’t seem interested in anything his friends were doing. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even seem excited about any of his courses this semester. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was a little concerned if he was being honest.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He knew Zixuan didn’t like confrontation of any kind. He probably didn’t want to talk about what was bothering him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>At least not in person. </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">application </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang barely spoke to Zixuan for nearly two weeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some days Zixuan was curled up in bed, either scrolling on his phone with his back facing the room, or he was sitting at his desk with his headphones in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Always blasting the same song over and over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tended to do that whenever he was equal parts stressed and drowning in thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang let it happen. Usually Zixuan would be able to pull himself out of whatever rut he was stuck in, but it was taking a considerable amount of time, and he was starting to get worried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When was a good time to try and talk to him? When was the ‘space’ too much?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t ask the group chat because Zixuan would see it, and besides, Wuxian was not too happy with the group chat either so they had all gone pretty silent lately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang did the only things he thought he could do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he thought Zixuan wasn’t eating he’d bring leftovers home and put them in the mini fridge. Zixuan almost always asked for them right before Huaisang went to bed so he could use the microwave while he was awake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang bought some snacks he knew Zixuan liked and put them on their snack shelf. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned off the light on his way out if Zixuan was napping. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He left the light on even when he went to bed if Zixuan was taking a long shower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He made a point to ask Zixuan a question every day. Didn’t matter what it was, just a question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan, can I send you my paper to proof?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan, can you tell me what this means?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I borrow your highlighter again?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want some ramen while I’m out?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you could choose, would you choose to be a pencil, or a pen?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Once he brought him a piece that he had broken off a small tree in the quad. “Here you go,” he had beamed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan took it slowly, “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because,” Huaisang had shrugged. He walked away and peaked around the desk to see Zixuan studying it quietly, no doubt trying to identify it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But today Huaisang walked in and Zixuan was sitting on his bed, staring out the window while his headphone cord loosely sat in his mouth. A bad habit of his that he hated. It always took him forever to notice when he did it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang dropped his towel into his laundry basket and left his blow dryer on his desk. He considered doing some homework to get ahead in one of his classes but he really would rather spend the rest of his Sunday lying around, watching some Netflix, and going to sleep early. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He got comfortable in bed before searching under his pillow for his headphones. He hadn’t noticed that Zixuan had turned off his music and was shuffling towards him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t even have time to ask Zixuan what was up before he had crawled into Huaisang’s bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He settled between Huaisang’s legs, wrapping his arms around him. He hid his face in Huaisang’s chest, letting his hair fall over him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s hands hovered in uncertainty before he gently placed his hands. Zixuan called him whenever he wanted to talk after avoiding him for a few days. But now that he was actually here they didn’t need to virtually cuddle anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He brushed back Zixuan’s hair and tilted his head. “What’s on your mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan mumbled, “A lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>‘A lot’ felt like an understatement to Zixuan. His mind was all over the place the last couple weeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To start everything, Guangshan was going to be taking over as the President of UCR in the fall. Zixuan had no idea how that came to be. Where was President Lan Yi going? Why hasn’t anything been announced? Why his father? He wasn’t even qualified, and yet here he was. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Here he was… Soon with the ability to access anything he wanted regarding Zixuan </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> Guangyao. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>At any moment they could run into him. Guangyao had his own list of reasons he didn’t want that to happen. Zixuan thought </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’d be able to hide things from his father. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he couldn’t hide that he spoke to his advisor about taking up UCR’s Summer Initiative with other universities for some online summer courses at Baling U. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan could innocently talk to her and she just up and mentions that Zixuan was even thinking about it? Yikes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was panicking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was able to pretend to be excited for his father the moment he had heard. But by the time he got to his room that night he was a complete wreck, and he still didn’t understand why he was so torn up over it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was good at keeping up appearances, and for the most part he did it just about anywhere he went. He knew how to sit in public, how to talk in public; he knew how to be proper. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But there was a reason Zixuan went to see his friends instead of his friends coming to see him. He didn’t want to be prim and proper with them. And he wasn’t. He was already talked to about that by his mother. He didn’t need his father involved in that conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to be closed off around his friends either. He just wanted to be himself. It wasn’t fair to his friends, or to him, to go around holding himself the way that Guangyao did. He didn’t need his father running into him on campus while he was loudly arguing with Wuxian, or with Huaisang hanging all over him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>God forbid </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> ever happened. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> to get pulled into some sort of conversation about Huaisang that he did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to get into. He didn’t need to have some sort of sit down over his best friend being gay. Again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>If his mother didn’t love Huaisang as much as she did, he probably would have been heavily advised to be careful with how he interacted with him in public. But, she loved him, so thankfully it was only hinted at after the first ‘intervention’. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Indirect confrontation. Zixuan could handle that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knowing his father could be around any corner and knowing how his friends were around him was clashing so heavily in his mind that he was starting to think irrationally about the whole thing. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Suppose, </span>
  <em>
    <span>just suppose</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that his father heard Huaisang calling him ‘daddy’. And no matter how much explaining that it was just a joke, that it was all in good fun, that it didn’t mean anything but to get a laugh out of him, somehow… Somehow his father would be able to pick a part Zixuan until he found out that Zixuan </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> occasionally think about what it would be like to kiss Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And god if </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> somehow was ever discovered, Zixuan would never be allowed to see Huaisang. And Huaisang was his best friend. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He could not have that happen. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he also couldn’t tell his friends to act differently around him on campus. He couldn’t tell Huaisang to keep his distance if they were in public. He wouldn’t tell him to talk to him differently, and he wasn’t going to actually stop him from ever calling him ‘daddy’. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. It’s just that the things Huaisang does is inherently </span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He wasn’t going to change that. He didn’t want to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang softly traced Zixuan’s ear, gently tugging on his ear lobe. “Zixuan,” he repeated quietly, pulling Zixuan out of his thoughts. “Is there anything I can help with?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed. “I’m not supposed to talk about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t tell anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced up at Huaisang and gave him a look.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise,” Huaisang held up his hand in oath. “I won’t say a word.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” he laughed. “I promise I won’t say anything.” Silence. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>promise</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he whined. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hesitated. Huaisang was really bad at keeping secrets. He was banking on the fact that Huaisang had never spoken about anything Zixuan had told him in regards to his own life. And well, since it was about his father… “My dad is going to be President of UCR next fall.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang blinked in surprise. He was not expecting that. Yeah, Zixuan was right… He immediately wanted to go tell someone that one. “Sorry what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan groaned and buried his face again.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tried to understand. Did Guangshan even have the credentials to be a president of a university? He was almost sure he didn’t. But he did have power and money… “I almost wish you told me you got Zhang Yu pregnant or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked up, “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know! I’ve been thinking a lot too y’know! About why you were upset!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So you thought I got someone </span>
  <em>
    <span>pregnant</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were shouting now.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><span>“</span><em><span>I don’t know</span></em><span>!</span> <span>It crossed my mind a couple times! I was trying to think about when the last time you slept with her was!”</span></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan made a face and sat up quickly, “Oh my god, </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t think about that</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s too late, Zixuan!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I strongly dislike you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laughed, “I really don’t think that’s the case,” he pulled Zixuan back down, “Rewind and be sad so I can help you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Rewind and be sad</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Zixuan tried to sit up, but Huaisang pulled him back, wrapping his arms and legs around him. He sighed in defeat. “I hate you. I really do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” Huaisang rolled his eyes. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Unlike Huaisang</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“The question is did you sleep with him again,” Jiang Cheng asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I did,” Huaisang replied, “But I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> do that again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan took a sip from his glass, “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I’m not too fond of him trying to talk to me in class anymore. He smiles like he expects something now,” Huaisang made a face. “Just because we screwed around a few times doesn’t mean anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you have a crush on him,” Jiang Cheng inquired. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Correction,” Huaisang pointed to him, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>tried</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have a crush on him. But his personality sucks, and he’s kinda creepy now. Besides, crushes are too messy. I’m just trying to have a good time,” he tried to convince himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng leaned forward. “Since </span>
  <em>
    <span>when </span>
  </em>
  <span>do you think crushes are messy? You always mention wanting to fall in love.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First of all, falling in love and having a crush are two different things. Second of all, crushes never end up in my favor and frankly I don’t think they’re crushes anyways,” Huaisang humphed to himself. “I should just quit boys.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” Zixuan raised an eyebrow, “You’re a hopeless romantic…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... And you’re the horniest out of all of us,” Jiang Cheng added. “You’re not going to quit boys.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang whined in frustration, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But I should!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait hold on,” Jiang Cheng squinted, trying to recall properly. “What happened to that guy who literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>confessed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to you last semester? You went on several dates with him, didn’t you? What happened there, he seemed nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan scoffed and rolled his eyes, focusing his attention back to his drink.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Weibang… was fine,” Huaisang shook his head. “Not my type though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hummed in confusion. “I thought he checked off like a third of your boxes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes and? So does Zixuan and Wuxian,” Huaisang sighed heavily. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh do I,” Zixuan asked curiously. “Nice. Like what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“One, a rich daddy-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” Zixuan raised his voice before he could continue. Jiang Cheng cackled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure, Huaisang had gone on a few dates. Sure, he had fun talking to the guy, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sometimes</span>
  </em>
  <span> might he add. Sure, he was cute and all. Sure, the sex was fun. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Huaisang still wasn’t actually interested in Weibang. Not in the way he showed interest in Huaisang. Which was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>In fact, he felt rather dull at the end of the day when he thought about anything long term with him. Some odd number of weeks of fun was it for Huaisang and Weibang. He wasn't interested in trying in the new semester.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no point in stringing him along once he realized that he didn’t really feel anything towards him. He was much faster at realizing that this semester too. He didn’t want another Weibang incident.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t really matter what he thought about someone at first. He was known for being a bit overzealous and mistaking feeling flattered for feeling something else. It was when he spent a few weeks around them would he really know how he felt about them. Whether it was for friendship or something a little more serious. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang couldn’t quite trust himself to know what he was feeling at first. And frankly his judge of character wasn’t always the best either. He usually was blinded with “what ifs” and some varying level of lust. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He usually recruited someone else to talk reason into him. It was nearly always Jiang Cheng and Zixuan who did. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Step one was to talk to Jiang Cheng. He was quick to tell him if he was just thirsting or if he was actually interested in someone. Step two was to assess what kind of guy he was with Zixuan and get a seal of approval. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan never really approved the full package of anyone. Like Weibang; he was moving way too fast and was a massive jerk.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang thought he was right. He had barely figured out what he felt for the guy and he was already ready to write poetry for him without even knowing what kind of tea he liked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And this last guy? He was only in it to fool around, and Huaisang was okay with that. Zixuan was quick to tell him to drop the guy if he was even slightly uncomfortable at any point. So Huaisang did the </span>
  <em>
    <span>moment </span>
  </em>
  <span>he even questioned the guy. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan did the same whenever someone displayed interest in him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He typically went to Wen Ning and Huaisang to get their thoughts on what he should do. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t develop a deep interest in anyone though, and they always had to point that out to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, she’s not Yanli,” he’d always jokingly reply. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But if he was bored and whoever it was just wanted to fuck, well then they would. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Unlike Huaisang though, he never felt too great the next morning about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan could not believe himself. He had gone quite a decent amount of time of not feeling this way. Of not questioning </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> in his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He went through with the application. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He clicked ‘Submit’ and thought about the conversation he had with Huaisang after he told him about his dad stepping up at UCR. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He considered all the possibilities.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe he doesn’t apply for on campus living next year. Maybe he finds an apartment in the area. Maybe he takes some courses that he’s interested in. Maybe he gets a cat. His dad hated cats. Maybe he spent his summer away from Lanling. Maybe he </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> follow his dad’s plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe he’s just some guy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe it’s okay to ask Huaisang if he can kiss him again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wait what?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No that is not okay,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zixuan thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, maybe he finally stops thinking about that </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> time. Maybe he isn’t allowed to live in Greater Cloud Recesses. Maybe he doesn’t get accepted for the summer courses. Maybe he doesn’t get a cat. Maybe he spends his summer trailing behind his father. Maybe he does exactly what his dad wants. Maybe he drops his interests after all… because he’s not just some guy. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’s a goddamn Jin. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’s the clan leader’s son. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>None of this was okay.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pulled out his phone from under his pillow and texted Zhang Yu.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t talk nearly as much as they used to, which wasn’t all that much anyways. But that didn’t really matter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And it didn’t really even matter that he went to her single. He left feeling as shitty as he did when he decided to go over. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> did, so he really had no idea why he kept doing it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even know how to put it into words, but he really just wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over his head to block out the world for a solid day after. He just couldn’t stop overthinking about it after. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan walked into his room, surprised to see the lights back on. Huaisang looked over his shoulder. “Why’d you turn the lights back on?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t see for shit when the room is dark,” Huaisang pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had no problem moving in the dark… But it took forever for his eyes to adjust, especially coming in from the fluorescent-lit hallway. He turned his desk lamp on and went to turn off the overhead light. “What are you still doing awake?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was watching Netflix on his phone, too absorbed in his show. “Just wanted to make sure you weren’t getting anyone pregnant,” he joked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Zixuan groaned and turned off the light. “Can you not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you </span>
  <em>
    <span>imagine</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang said a bit louder. “An </span>
  <em>
    <span>actual</span>
  </em>
  <span> ‘daddy’-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan yelled over him. Huaisang cackled into his pillow. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang laughed, “We’re going to get a noise complaint-” Huaisang raised his voice, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>daddy</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What is wrong with you,” Zixuan practically whispered before they both broke out into laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had forgotten to overthink. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Teletubbies!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/>  <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">bad at relaying messages </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Making the new group was the best move. Things were far less confusing. There was no mixing up times or showing up at the wrong place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was so much easier. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all felt a little bad about not having Wuxian in it, but if he had been okay with them making plans and meeting up, or even talking about classes, they would’ve just kept using their normal group chat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he wasn’t okay with it. It bothered him immensely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the new one bothered him too. Not that he said anything about it though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So they kept using it. And it quickly went from plans only to practically replacing their old group chat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>h8rs was buried deep in all of their phones. Wuxian’s included. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone continued on with their lives like falling away from each other never happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing,” Huaisang asked looking over Zixuan’s shoulder. “You’ve been staring at your phone forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying to decide where to order food from,” Zixuan mumbled. “Do I want lava cake? Cheesy bread? A wrap? Noodles?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ooh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang’s eyes widened. “I want noodles,” he pulled out his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get it,” Zixuan pushed Huaisang’s phone down. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I have a cake too,” Huaisang leaned against Zixuan watching as he added two to his cart.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want anything else?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ordering food,” Jiang Cheng asked, putting down his phone after answering his siblings' group chat. “Can you get me a-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I already ordered, it’s too late,” Zixuan lied as he scrolled to find something for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You are so rude, I cannot believe,” Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll order. What do you want Wen Ning?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang watched as Zixuan quietly added their order into his cart. “A kind da-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I will not give you the cake if you finish that thought,” Zixuan deadpanned as he typed his card number in. “Jiang Cheng, stop looking for your card. I already put everyone’s order in. But when it gets here you have to go downstairs and get it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>kind daddy </span>
  </span>
  <span class="u"></span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Zixuan Going By Guangshan's Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan walked into Lotus Root just before they closed. No one was left inside except for Wen Qing and some guy they had hired for part time work. “You can head out,” she said to him after she counted the drawer. The guy pointed to Zixuan as he walked up to the counter. She glanced up and shrugged, “It’s fine. Have a good night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Zixuan taped his fingers against the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Wen Qing tilted her head. “Are you looking for Yanli? She’s closing tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” Zixuan shook his head. “I just wanted to tell you that I got accepted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Wen Qing blinked. “For UCR’s and Baling U’s Summer Initiative?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you weren’t applying?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did kind of last minute…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t really seem to know how to react. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t think you were going to get approved did you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to do it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan inhaled slowly. He let out a loud exhale. “I don’t know how to get away with it without my dad realizing it now.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan bit the inside of his cheek. So far only Huaisang knew. “He’s going to have access to my file.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing’s face softened. “Zixuan, he does not have the ability to see that. If it has to do with anything being mailed to your home, change your address to my apartment.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan paused. Well that was a thought. “I am definitely going to do that now that you’ve offered. But he could still get into my file if he wanted. He’s going to be the president next semester.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing was silent. He couldn’t do that, could he? He must’ve promised some big money or something. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” Zixuan snorted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, uhm,” Wen Qing ran her finger over her eyebrow in thought. Well this isn’t what she was expecting. But they could figure something out. “You haven’t told Mianmian about this by any chance have you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that out of the question to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Like right now?” Wen Qing pressed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose not. It’s just Mianmian.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing pulled out her phone and looked for Mianmian’s contact. She put the call on speaker while it rang. Maybe she wasn’t going to answer from Wen Qing’s phone…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Wen Qing replied. “So this is awkward.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian snorted, “Yeah, it’s been a hot minute. What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I have Zixuan with me,” she started. “And we have a question for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh okay,” they heard Mianmian put something down. “Shoot.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Sleeping With Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“God no,” Jiang Cheng said loudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What why not,” Huaisang asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning didn’t even glance up from his homework, “Het.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s,” Jiang Cheng paused, “We’ve been over this Wen Ning, please. That’s not why.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why, what,” Zixuan removed one of his earbuds, only slightly sitting up from where he was lying on JC’s bed doing his own assignments. He never ended up doing everything he planned on doing when he went to Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng’s dorm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time was not an exception. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wouldn’t ever sleep with his friends, AKA </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang looked at Jiang Cheng incredulously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well first of all,” JC closed his laptop. “I thought you meant in theory. Second of all, you said nothing about you guys. In that case, literally never.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m offended that you wouldn’t sleep with me, Jiang Cheng,” Huaisang gasped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Wen Ning sighed. “Kinda hurtful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jiang Cheng laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is happening,” Zixuan muttered to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning,” Huaisang turned to Wen Ning in the bean bag chair. “Would </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>sleep with me?” Wen Ning opened and closed his mouth. He squinted and looked up at the ceiling. He inhaled like he was going to speak but remained quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng and Zixuan laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will need to think about it,” Wen Ning finally replied. “Likely no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is so sad, I would sleep with any of you if you asked,” Huaisang turned and looked at Zixuan, “What about you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh,” he shrugged. “Sure, I guess I’d sleep with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang paused, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>What!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning roared with laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you actually? I don’t believe you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean… Sure, I guess?” Well he didn’t really think that response through. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked at him in disbelief. “Well alright,” he pushed himself to a stand. “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng yelled and started hitting Wen Ning’s arm. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, what are you doing,” Zixuan’s eyes widened. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Right now?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t be serious, no. I take it </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> back,” Zixuan said quickly, eyes wide. “I would never.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he’s sweating,” Wen Ning pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t sweat,” Jiang Cheng added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I know</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan closed his laptop.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang, I’m pretty sure Zixuan was joking,” Jiang Cheng cackled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I was, oh my god,” Zixuan replied quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning added, “Even if Zixuan was serious, why were you so ready to jump into bed with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang motioned to him. “This is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful</span>
  </em>
  <span> man.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks? But don’t touch me.” Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you guys think I was being serious,” Huaisang whined.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why aren’t you asking it in theory is the question,” Jiang Cheng said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Because before class this morning,” Huaisang started, “A few of us were talking about the reading and whether we thought friends could, y’know, help each other out with absolutely no strings.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> are you reading,” Zixuan asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“This,” Huaisang picked the book up from where he dropped it on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Give me this,” Zixuan grabbed it with a frown. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not explicitly mentioned. But we all think the supporting characters are fucking.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you’re projecting,” Wen Ning replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng settled back in his chair, “So what was the consensus?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I think it’s entirely possible to fuck a friend and never develop any feelings,” Huaisang stopped himself. “Right, Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was likely referring to Zhang Yu. “Don’t bring me into this… And that’s not what it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re just fuck buddies,” Jiang Cheng corrected.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t talk about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there a difference,” Wen Ning asked Jiang Cheng.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed heavily. “You’re horny, your friend is horny, do you fuck or no? Simple.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh,” Wen Ning pursed his lips. “I don’t think I can answer this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First of all, why would you ask those two,” Zixuan decided to engage in the conversation after all while still flipping through the book. “Second of all. I think it depends on the person and your friendship with them. Friends with benefits and developing absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>zero</span>
  </em>
  <span> feelings is possible. I think… Maybe?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you encourage this conversation he’s going to ask you to sleep with him again,” Jiang Cheng looked over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate you all, I’m calling Wuxian,” Huaisang pulled out his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang you little shit,” Wuxian answered near immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Huaisang answered. “You’re on speaker, we’ll talk about that later.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Talk about what,” Wen Ning muttered to Jiang Cheng. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Wuxian bubbled up. “What’s up guys?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Important question.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not,” Jiang Cheng replied.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up. Shoot, Huaisang,” Wuxian replied.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay out of our friend group, excluding your siblings,” he added slowly. “Would you sleep with any of us? Like... All parties: consent. All parties: are horny. Do you fuck? Yes or no?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure,” Wuxian replied boredly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you fuck </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian laughed in response. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t laugh, everyone here already rejected me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean if we both wanted to but like, Huaisang, you and I already know that we are not compatible in bed-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Zixuan looked up and squinted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Have you two</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” Jiang Cheng yelled out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No! </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang pointed at them, talking over them while Wuxian cackled over the phone. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, we have not!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you so defensive about it,” Wen Ning asked. “I thought you didn’t see anything wrong with sleeping with your friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but Wuxian,” Huaisang turned back to the phone. “Do you think it’s possible to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> develop any sort of feelings?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you sleep with your friends all the time,” Wen Ning asked. “You don’t like any of them right? Isn’t that your answer right there?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t bring the fuck buddies into this,” Huaisang said. “I barely consider them acquaintances.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can confidently say that I would definitely have sex with Huaisang if he wanted,” Wuxian said. “And feel literally nothing romantic towards him at all after.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You never answered the question though,” Jiang Cheng pointed out. “Have you </span>
  <em>
    <span>already</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked at him in disbelief, “I already said no-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian answered over him, “Well, no, it never got to that point. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Although-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, </span>
  <em>
    <span>bye</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang yelled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait! Can I fuck Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian rushed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Stay away from me</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan yelled back while the rest burst into laughter. “What the fuck is wrong with you guys, oh my god. Also, I don’t see anything about anyone fucking in this book, like at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Projecting,” Wen Ning confirmed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“One of you just read this book so I can point out all the incredible lowkey sexual tension in it,” Huaisang rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>no touchy</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan decided to go for a run. He needed to distract himself from what had just happened. He said it as a joke… Right? He thought so anyways. He couldn’t really recall his thought process that led to the answer. It happened too fast. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was just another junior-year-kiss incident. It was a joke, until he said it. And now, yet again, he was left spiraling. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was his best friend, he absolutely needed to stop thinking about kissing him. It was not normal for a straight man to be thinking about kissing his friend like this. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He really hoped that Huaisang didn’t think anything of it. Of the kiss. Of the comment. He probably just keeps making things uncomfortable…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Huaisang was thinking about it. He always went back to the kiss at some point. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t mean to, especially because he knew Zixuan was just kidding. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was kidding, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course he was! He was Jin Zixuan! There’s no way he was serious about any of it. This is how their friend group was. He shouldn’t second guess all of it as much as he did. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t mean he couldn’t still wish that Zixuan was like Wuxian sometimes. Though he would never change Zixuan for anything in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But sometimes…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan walked into the room from his run. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes he still wished he was more like Wuxian… Then he could kiss him again and it wouldn’t be weird. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, uhm,” Zixuan hovered near the closed door. He kind of looked like he was about to bolt. Huaisang sat up. “I need to apologize?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned, “For what?” He noted that Zixuan’s hand was still on the door handle. He really might bolt.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He really hated confrontation. But he wouldn’t bolt until after. He held the door handle so he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> leave the conversation. “For earlier. In case I made you uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uncomfortable?” Huaisang shook his head with a small smile, “Why would I be uncomfortable? I know you were just kidding.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right…” Zixuan bit his lip in uncertainty. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I probably made </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> uncomfortable, I’m sure.” Huaisang was internally yelling at himself. Of course he did. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, uhm,” Zixuan hesitated. “But I should also apologize for, uh, high school?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>High school? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Huaisang blinked in surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Huaisang stopped him. He wasn’t going to tell him he wanted him to do it again. He wouldn’t anyways. No need to set himself up for disappointment. “That was a couple years ago,” Huaisang pointed out. So Zixuan didn’t just drop it though? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Shit. Maybe Zixuan shouldn’t have brought it up. Maybe it looks like he still thought about it. “It… was.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Damn. He must’ve really regretted kissing him… Yeah, Huaisang wasn’t going to make a comment about it. He didn’t want to feel worse about what he wanted. “I promise you don’t need to worry about it,” he smiled. “Apology accepted anyways. Now shut up and go take your shower.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Guidance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Yeah,” Mianmian confirmed. “He’d only be able to see the current semester.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan seemed unsure, “He couldn’t just pull up the whole transcript?”</p><p> </p><p>Mianmian shook her head, “That’s not how our system is set up. I triple checked everything. He’d have to go through the student portal or go through the advisor portal. Or have an admin code. But Lan Yi never had a code to view transcripts. She would have to go through the office and request to see it. But seeing as he’s your father it’s a slight conflict of interest to just hand it over anyways.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Qing hummed. “Can you talk to your advisor?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not without letting it out that he’s taking over,” Zixuan said. He groaned, “This is stupid. And dramatic. I’m just not going to do it,” he shrugged. “I just don’t know that him finding out and berating me is worth it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, but hold on,” Mianmian stopped him. </p><p> </p><p>“Can he really criticize you if it’s not even his money that you’re spending?” Wen Qing asked. “If he were to ever see these courses listed?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s all my dad’s money,” he deadpanned. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, but it doesn’t have to be,” Wen Qing pointed out. “Get a job.”</p><p> </p><p>“Doing <em> what </em>,” Zixuan laughed. “I’m not qualified to do anything. I have never worked a day in my life.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now don’t say that,” Mianmian stopped him. “You sound like a jerk saying that, first of all. But it’s also not true.”</p><p> </p><p>“How,” Zixuan asked. “Have you met me? I do nothing.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Qing held up her hand, “Did you even read my letter of recommendation?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, well use that to pull your head out of your ass-”</p><p> </p><p>“-You guys are so mean-”</p><p> </p><p>“-and use it in a job application too. Put my name down for a reference.”</p><p> </p><p>Mianmian nodded, “Yeah me too. You took over half of my tutees before I even graduated high school. And you used to volunteer at the Lanling Public Library with your cousin when you were younger. Not to mention all the things you do for your dad. Don’t say you can’t do anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know your way around a greenhouse too if you wanted to spend time doing that specifically,” Wen Qing pointed out. “Which might help you with your courses in the long run.”</p><p> </p><p>“Funnel that money right back to the school,” Mianmian nodded. “And on the bright side, you’d be paying Baling U’s price, not UCR’s.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t even know where I’d look for that,” Zixuan said. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, you do you liar,” Mianmian stopped him. “There are several places in Lanling alone, and two just outside that you could work in. Don’t talk yourself out of this just because of your dad.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you want I will tell you <em> exactly </em> what to say to him if he tries to say anything to you.” Wen Qing added.</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds threatening,” Mianmian muttered to her. Wen Qing shrugged. “I’ll tell you what to say to make your case. And if it really comes to it, you tell him that I told you to do it. And I’ll talk to him.”</p><p> </p><p>Mianmian was the only person that Zixuan knew who wasn’t remotely intimidated by Guangshan.</p><p> </p><p>He was really unsure of the whole situation but…</p><p> </p><p>Fuck it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">bop about </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Mingjue was the first to run into Wuxian while he was in Lotus Pier. He was meeting with Jiang Fengmian upon his uncle’s request and Huaisang had decided to tag along to see Wuxian. </p><p> </p><p>“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Mingjue sat down beside Wuxian who was doing a few assignments on the dock. He dangled one leg off the side, just barely above the water. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, y’know,” he lifted his notebook. “School.”</p><p> </p><p>“How’s that going,” Mingjue looked out over the water.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s going,” Wuxian said with a little more energy. “No interesting news here though,” he tossed the notebook to the side and angled himself towards Mingjue. “Any news on the position?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s mine if I want it,” he nodded. “My uncle is <em> quite </em>happy to run Qinghe a bit longer.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want it still?” It’s been a while since they had last texted. It wasn’t often that they even did. Mostly it was just Mingjue checking in on Wuxian to make sure he wasn’t causing any trouble. He worried about him a lot.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t get a lot of guidance from his parents.</p><p> </p><p>“Eh,” Mingjue shrugged. “Could be interesting. I don’t want to stop teaching yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“So might as well, right? Go for it,” Wuxian nudged him. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Huaisang called from behind them. “Whatever you’re doing, stop!”</p><p> </p><p>Wuxian’s jaw dropped, “I wasn’t doing anything this time!”</p><p> </p><p>Mingjue rolled his eyes. “Good seeing you, punk,” Mingjue used Wuxian’s shoulder to push himself to a stand. “I have to go find your dad anyways.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> You </em> ,” Huaisang walked towards Wuxian, temporarily eyeing his brother as he walked by. “Were you ignoring me for my brother, <em> again </em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“How could I ignore you if I didn’t know you were here,” Wuxian laughed. “You didn’t even text me!”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang gasped and plopped down next to him. “That is the biggest lie, are you kidding? I’ve been texting you since early this morning.”</p><p> </p><p>“You absolutely have not,” Wuxian unlocked his phone and froze. “Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, <em> oh </em>,” Huaisang huffed. </p><p> </p><p>Wuxian smiled sheepishly, “I forgot to take you off mute.”</p><p> </p><p>“You had me on <em> mute </em>,” Huaisang asked incredulously. “I cannot believe you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you wanted to talk about boys or school again!”</p><p> </p><p>“I have other things to discuss,” Huaisang pouted. “Serious things!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Wuxian draped himself over Huaisang. “What’s going on?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. No Cents</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">end of the semester dinner with the whole fam </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he okay,” Wuxian asked through the screen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mianmian looked up from her phone, unconcerned, “Zixuan did say he was tired like an </span>
  <em>
    <span>hour </span>
  </em>
  <span>ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought he had to go finish packing,” Wen Ning asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine,” Huaisang assured them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli nodded; Zixuan was fine. “What were you saying, Wuxian?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Right</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang decided to stay until Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning were driving back. They discussed Jiang Cheng moving back to Greater Cloud Recesses early where he would live with Yanli and work at Lotus Root before the cafe’s move to a bigger space; closer to campus. In that time, he was going to be looking for a small apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning was going to be living with Wen Qing throughout the summer and into the new semester while also working at Lotus Root and a machine shop to save a bit of money from his tuition. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s one year at UCR was up so he was going to be commuting to school with his brother every day. But that was fine, the drive wasn’t that long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s commute, however, was much longer. And he was going to be commuting for at </span>
  <em>
    <span>least </span>
  </em>
  <span>the first semester while trying to convince his dad to let him get an apartment in Greater Cloud Recesses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a long shot, but Zixuan was willing to try. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing was going to be taking care of his plants throughout the summer and the fall semester until Zixuan got his own apartment, </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was able to get his own apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian was taking summer courses and working throughout the summer. Right through to the next semester, he was going to have his hands full so he didn’t have much of a reason to fight Jiang Cheng on leaving him in Yunmeng. He wouldn’t have been able to spend time with him anyways. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They spent quite a long time detailing the next few months of their lives, setting goals they would abandon in record time. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wasn’t even tired by the time Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning were ready to call it a night. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He figured by the time he reached his door that if Zixuan was still awake he could help him finish packing so he could go to sleep earlier. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had had the latest final out of all of them so he didn’t have much time to pack yet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But when Huaisang walked in, everything was packed up and Zixuan was sweeping under Huaisang’s desk. “You’re awake,” Huaisang said aloud. “I was going to sweep tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m almost done,” Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They thought something was wrong when you left,” Huaisang informed him as he stepped over the teeny dust pile. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan cocked his head, “Something was wrong? No, I’m fine,” he crouched down to sweep the small pile into the dustpan. “I didn’t like where the conversation was going so I figured it was as good a time as any to leave early and finish packing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What were we talking about? When I was swearing off boys next semester or Wuxian and his fuck buddy?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck buddy,” Zixuan put the broom off to the side and waved his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you like that,” Huaisang started changing behind his closet door. “Seemed normal.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah it is normal,” Zixuan agreed with a laugh. “For you guys. Somehow someone always turns it back to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Didn’t want to stick around for it this time. I’m too tired.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The conversation lasted probably five more minutes this time because of Jiang Cheng’s unwanted input. Do you not like when we talk about boys?” Well that fucking sucked if he didn’t. “Or well, this case: girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Zixuan shook his head. “I really don’t care. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Until </span>
  </em>
  <span>everyone tries to get my input. Like I have nothing to add. So I’d rather not give my two cents. There’s no cents to even give.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Has it always bothered you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shuffled around, “Recently it has.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve never said anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shrugged and climbed into his bed. “What am I supposed to say? </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Huaisang, I don’t feel anything towards her, that’s not why I keep going back. Drop it.’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jiang Cheng. I absolutely will not be doing that; I do not like kissing people.’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Wuxian, I’m not telling you about what happened because it was kinky. I just don’t think sex is all it’s cracked up to be. Stop asking?’ I don’t think so,” Zixuan snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang said. “Say exactly that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh,” Zixuan waved it off. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Huaisang leaned across his bed. “If it makes you uncomfortable, then say so.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care that you all talk about whatever is going on in your heads,” Zixuan explained. “None of you have ever had a filter. Literally not a single one of you. Except for Wen Qing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang replied, “Yanli?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan scoffed. “Except for Wen Qing,” he repeated. “I don’t care. I don’t mind talking to everyone about </span>
  <em>
    <span>whatever</span>
  </em>
  <span> they want to talk about. But I’m not talking about </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And as much as you all want me to, trust me, you do not want me to. There’s nothing interesting or fun here. I don’t need anyone to tell me that I’m probably doing something wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Doing something wrong?” Huaisang shook his head, “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why because you don’t like </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span> any of it?” Huaisang shook his head again. “No, that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan said slowly. “No, I’m pretty sure I am,” he let out an unamused laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I never </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to tell you that I’ve heard one very enthusiastic girl talking about your sex life before, but let me tell you,” Huaisang snorted, “You’re not doing anything wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Excuse me</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan blinked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang held up his hands, “Don’t ask me, I have no idea who it was. It wasn’t Zhang Yu, so you don’t have to worry about that. Keep doing what you’re doing there. If you want. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But</span>
  </em>
  <span> you don’t have to? If you aren’t getting anything from it, then don’t feel like you need to keep going back. To anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay to not like having sex. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Or</span>
  </em>
  <span> kissing,” Huaisang pointed out. “You know you could always talk to-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-No,” Zixuan stopped him. “Nope. No, no, no. I’m not talking to him about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laughed and rested his cheek in his hand. “You’re talking to me already though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s different.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How is it different?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was quiet. He wasn’t going to be able to get Zixuan to open up much more, or talk to someone who would get it. He hummed in thought. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan muttered, “You don’t have to find a reason. There is none.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And that’s perfectly okay.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Welcome to Sophomore Year</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">quick check in before diving right into the new school year </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how you’ve been doing this,” Zixuan told Guangyao. It was a month into sophomore year and he was not feeling it. Commuting in was proving to be a massive hassle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> was why Guangyao didn’t have friends. There was no time. Zixuan only ever saw his friends on campus, but even then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He almost always went right home after classes. He couldn’t do his assignments in the car. Though he did start listening to podcasts while he drove. That way his brain could keep spinning right into his assignments when he got home. But he’d be going until early morning just for a couple hours of sleep, if he could fall asleep, and wake up early to start his day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He still spent his weekends working on the outskirts of Lanling. His family assumed he was meeting up with friends. Guangyao had figured out that Zixuan was working when he ran into him starting a load of laundry quite late at night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The act of doing laundry alone was weird because Carp Tower had staff that tended to anything to do with clothes and linens. But Zixuan had told them to stop doing his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clearly for this very reason. Half of his laundry was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> his typical clothes. They were quite dark in comparison. A lot of black and dark brown. “Are those yours?” Guangyao had asked. Zixuan didn’t answer but turned his focus back to the task. “Are those your gardening clothes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao walked in, holding the comforter that he just spilled coffee on, and kicked the door shut behind him. “Where have you been going?” He dumped the comforter into a washing machine besides Zixuan’s.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan considered whether he should tell Guangyao or not. He wouldn’t say anything right? He weighed his options as he finished what he needed to do. “I got a job.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A job?” Guangyao started his machine. “Why would you get a job?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He slid the textbook and notebook out from behind the basket and sat at the center table. “To pay for summer courses.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao was confused to say the least. “Why is he making you pay for that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t know I’m taking them,” Zixuan replied, flipping to a new chapter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao narrowed his eyes and sat across from Zixuan, “Why? He pays for mine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He would never waste his money on something useless,” Zixuan replied. Guangyao cocked his head to the side. Zixuan tilted his textbook up to show the cover before dropping it back down. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ah</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Okay, well that made sense. Guangshan had literally told Zixuan that at dinner one night when he expressed interest in a few electives. “Oh… You really want to do something with… Plants?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he lied. “But it’s interesting. And fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You hate dirt. And you’re scared of bugs,” Guangyao pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I have gloves,” Zixuan countered quietly.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How many courses are you taking?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Three.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Three</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Guangyao repeated in surprise. The courses were so condensed that even he struggled to juggle more than two on top of working and doing whatever Guangshan wanted. He didn’t take more than two anymore. Not now that he was actually back at school for the rest of the year. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The summer was a sort of a break for Guangyao from his busy fall and spring workload. It seemed like a lot for Zixuan to jump into between his freshmen and sophomore year. On top of demands from Guangshan. And a job? “Where are you working?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pulled out his phone to pull up the information. He slid it over to Guangyao to search through as he continued reading. “I told them about dad throwing random lunches and meetings at us. They’re really flexible with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s really nice actually,” Guangyao nodded as he scrolled. “It’s cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re nice,” Zixuan replied. “It’s an older couple who started it so they have me do a lot for them. And I’m learning a lot too. Their daughter owns an orchard a few minutes away, so sometimes I help there too. Separate pay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” Guangyao handed him his phone back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If he ever finds out, he can’t say anything about his money being wasted,” Zixuan said. “Because it’s not his for once.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And now? Now he was really feeling the exhaustion a month into the fall semester. “I just want to sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Take the weekend,” Guangyao told him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He usually did though. He was still working, and tried to do assignments in his downtime. He almost always went to sleep right after dinner and woke up early in the morning, sometimes to do laundry while he worked on a paper. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have Sunday off,” Guangyao asked him, looking down at Zixuan, sitting beside his desk with his computer on his lap. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I asked for it off so I could sleep. But I’m going to the orchard tomorrow morning so I’ll probably do laundry before I head out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Guangyao replied. “Just sleep in until you have to get up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan considered it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>his friends see how fried he is</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. They Barely See Each Other</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Huaisang was a tad hurt seeing Zixuan across the quad. He knew he shouldn’t, and it wasn’t a big deal. But he had barely spoken to Zixuan the last three weeks. He was always on the move. Meeting with his advisor, studying between class; he was barely around at the end of the day because he had to drive home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he was sitting at one of the tables in the quad with Zhang Yu, eating lunch and laughing about something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just really missed talking to Zixuan all the time. Maybe he should’ve encouraged him to live on campus for a semester while looking for an apartment. Then he’d at least be around more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay,” Mo Xuanyu asked Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Huaisang replied. “Sorry,” he shook his head and handed Xuanyu his script back with an encouraging smile. “It’s actually really great! I think she’ll really appreciate the monologue.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh good,” Xuanyu let out a breath. “I wasn’t sure if it seemed out of place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No it flows really well,” Huaisang assured him. He slipped out his phone and sent a quick text to Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan almost immediately glanced down at his phone while he was talking. He paused to unlock it when he saw Huaisang’s name on his screen. He looked up in confusion until he spotted him. He smiled brightly and texted him back that he’ll be over in a few minutes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang smiled to himself and turned back to the script in his lap.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had decided to have dinner in the cafeteria because he couldn’t be bothered to rush home or pick something up. He scrolled aimlessly on his phone despite having finished eating already. He didn’t want to drive home yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey you.” Zixuan looked up to see Huaisang sitting down across from him. “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was convenient,” he replied, feeling a bit of energy coursing through him. “It’s been a hot minute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’d say,” Huaisang laughed and put his feet on the chair beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was on the other side eating,” he motioned with his head. “I’m waiting for Mingjue so I can go home. He’s meeting with a student right now though.” He pouted. “I was getting bored waiting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can take you home if you want,” Zixuan replied. “I’m done anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh you don’t have to,” Huaisang shook his head. “I’m sure you want to head home yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled his eyes and smiled. “I don’t mind; let’s go.” He really missed seeing Huaisang every day. “I miss you,” he nudged him on their way out of the cafeteria. “Sorry I haven’t been texting too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about,” Huaisang replied. “You act like you don’t text me every morning at like 5am,” Huaisang emphasized. “Don’t worry about it anyways,” he waved his hand. “I know you’re busy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My dad hasn’t been making me go to his dinners and meetings lately,” Zixuan pulled his keys out from his bag. “I’ll be able to hang out a bit more,” he added. He wasn’t as tired as he was feeling a few weeks ago. He practically slept for three days in a row before he felt like he had a better grip on things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can always do homework at my house,” Huaisang told him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will definitely take you up on that,” Zixuan smiled and hopped into his car. He waited until Huaisang had gotten in. “We didn’t really get to catch up the other day. Update me on your life.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Huaisang gasped. “Do you remember that dumbass I told you about at the beginning of the semester?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he faced him excitedly, “So, in class the other day-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smiled to himself as Huaisang continued to tell his story and rant about one of his classmates. He missed hearing how animated he got when he was worked up about something. His facial expression, the way he’d balled his fists and shake them in frustration. “He’s an </span>
  <em>
    <span>idiot</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Zixuan! An idiot!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s stupid,” Zixuan agreed, supressing a smile. He missed Huaisang. A lot.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He missed him so much he almost wanted to reach out and hold his hand. Really he wanted to cuddle for a little bit. But he was driving, and he couldn’t stay for long anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Has he ever actually held his hand before though? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not unless Huaisang was dragging him somewhere. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Surely that didn’t count. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hm…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well now he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to hold his hand...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he couldn’t do that. It was probably weird anyways. “Huaisang,” he parked in front of Huaisang’s house. “Do you want to go somewhere for dinner tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>their good morning texts</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/>
 <br/>
 <br/>
</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. The Sleepover Toothbrushes Origin Story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">some big moves coming! </span>
</p><p> <br/>  <br/></p><p> </p><p>Zixuan and Wen Ning had been driving for the last half hour blasting music and screaming. </p><p> </p><p>Y’know… Just letting off a little steam. </p><p> </p><p>And once they let it off, they drove up to the lookout for a bit before Zixuan would have to go home. </p><p> </p><p>“This semester sucks,” Zixuan admitted. </p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning frowned. “You must be exhausted. Is there no way to move on campus while you look for a place?”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan shook his head, “If I’m already on campus he’ll definitely say no. Really it’s a long shot either way but I think I have a better chance if I’m staying in Carp Tower.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning sighed. “Hey maybe when I find a place you can move in with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t say no to that offer,” Zixuan chuckled. </p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning grinned, “It would be fun… And we could split the cost of rent. If you need something from a money angle to convince your dad.”</p><p> </p><p>“...” Zixuan turned to him. “You’re serious.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah? Why not?”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought we couldn’t be roommates because I hate your favorite candy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m willing to overlook this tragic flaw.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan laughed but seriously considered it. “Well if that’s the case…”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan hadn’t had a whole lot of extra time to look for places. He needed somewhere in GCR, close enough to campus, an apartment his dad approved of, and reasonable in cost, especially if his dad cut him off…</p><p> </p><p>But if Wen Ning was serious about being roommates… Then he was going to spend a little more time and effort looking again.</p><p> </p><p>“You should just stay the night,” Wen Ning offered. “We could figure out what we’re both okay with before we start looking?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have a toothbrush in my car,” Zixuan replied. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay?” Wen Ning shrugged, “So let’s stop by the store.”</p><p> </p><p>He grinned and turned the music back up and turned around to head to the store.</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> the right toothbrush for the spontaneous sleepover </span> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Wen Qing walked out of her room wrapped up in her favorite blanket, and thick glasses sitting on her nose. “Uhm? Hi?” She put her empty mug in the sink.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s sleeping over,” Wen Ning beamed. </p><p> </p><p>“Fantastic,” Wen Qing eyed Zixuan. “Don’t touch the plants,” she opened the refrigerator. </p><p> </p><p>“He promises!” Wen Ning answered. “Wen Qing, do you want a snack?”</p><p> </p><p>“What did you get?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing you like,” Zixuan joked. </p><p> </p><p>Wen Qing scoffed. </p><p> </p><p>“Here,” Zixuan held out a bag of chocolate truffles. </p><p> </p><p>Wen Qing snatched them and scurried off to her room. She was not going to be sharing. “Thank you,” she called. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. daddy n sugar babie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. The Sleepover Toothbrushes Origin Story Pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“What is going on here,” Jiang Cheng walked into his sister’s apartment to see Zixuan sitting at the table. “Since when were you coming over?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked up from his phone. “Yanli invited me over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you staying the night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng looked around. “Did you not bring anything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” Zixuan shrugged. “Last second…” He smirked, “Is there a problem?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not unless you’re fine on the floor,” Jiang Cheng snorted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The floor,” Yanli asked, walking out from the bathroom. “There’s nothing wrong with sharing the futon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He kicks!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No he doesn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> time,” Zixuan scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That I will never forget.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh stop,” Yanli laughed. “Just share.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you say I could come over any time,” Zixuan asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ages ago,” Jiang Cheng countered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Both guys rolled their eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>speedy</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a pity sleepover</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>huaisang and wen qing are low key jealous rn</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>hates cuddling</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>and yet?</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>disbelief</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>share</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. With Great Concern</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Huaisang was having a shit week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He barely had time to see his friends, Mingjue was in a mood from his own stress, two of his courses were kicking his ass though he would never admit it, he barely slept...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He usually didn’t think too much about Zixuan’s morning messages being his only word from Zixuan half the time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But this week? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This week everything was getting to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After arguing with Mingjue, in front of fucking Guangyao of all people, Huaisang rushed to his room and crawled under his covers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hid under the blankets like it would block out all the doom he felt draping over his shoulders. He tried to call Zixuan a few times but it kept going to voicemail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was just about to throw his phone off to the side when his screen lit up again; Zixuan was calling him back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His thumb hovered over the screen but he froze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t talk to Zixuan like this. No matter how hard he tried to pretend like he wasn’t crying, he would only end up crying harder and completely give himself away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He declined the call and wiped his face with a heavy sigh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Mingjue knocked on the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Go away!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>call me d*ddy</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>dont trick him</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>do you need me</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s in a bad mood,” Mingjue warned Zixuan the moment he walked in. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Zixuan glanced at Guangyao who diverted his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, like a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span> mood. He’s significantly more snappy.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine,” Zixuan shrugged it off and made his way to Huaisang’s room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t bother knocking before walking in. In hindsight he probably should have to give Huaisang some sort of time to attempt to pull himself together. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he didn’t, so he walked in and saw Huaisang drowning in his pillows, hiding in the corner of his bed, holding his phone close to his face, tears visible on his cheeks, biting his nails. He shifted his eyes to Zixuan as he walked in and pressed his lips tightly in an attempt to not cry harder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not that that worked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang buried his face in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” Zixuan frowned and walked up to him cautiously. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pulled Huaisang’s hands down. Well he tried to. He sighed, “Do you need tissues?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan left his room, ignoring Mingjue and his brother to grab a box of tissues and quietly made his way back. He held the box out to Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was quick to grab it and immediately blew his nose a couple times and wiped his face. A small pile of tissues already collecting before him, “I am disgusting,” he said in a small voice. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A little,” Zixuan agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang let out an unamused laugh and blew his nose again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But that’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m wasting your time I’m sorry, there’s really no need-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not a waste of my time,” Zixuan stopped him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just your regularly scheduled </span>
  <em>
    <span>I-should-drop-out-of-school</span>
  </em>
  <span> breakdown. That’s it. Really-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not a waste of my time,” he repeated. “Just tell me what you want. Do you want me to go pick up snacks? Do you want chocolate? Do you want to lay down? Do you want to talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to watch Les Mis,” Huaisang looked at his phone sadly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan nodded. “Then we’ll do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>this is fine</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Is this fine?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Because as far as Zixuan was concerned, with himself, it was likely that things weren’t going fine. Not with the way his mind was spinning. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not with the way he had held on to Huaisang. It shouldn’t have meant anything but the longer he was there, the farther his attention drifted from the movie and to the man in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even know what it was. But it concerned him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It concerned him that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought about the day he kissed him. It concerned him that he didn’t just think about it, but wanted it to happen again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It concerned him that he had almost kissed Huaisang’s forehead when he left. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It concerned him that the moment he got in his car he immediately started beating himself up for </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It concerned him that he was beating himself up over it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The way he looked at Huaisang was starting to concern him </span>
  <em>
    <span>greatly</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not to mention how he thought Huaisang was looking at him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> it was in his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Of course it had to be. It would make no sense for Huaisang to think they were anything other than friends. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Best friends. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was a wreck.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>While he was determined to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> spend the night in GCR, mostly from concern of going </span>
  <em>
    <span>back</span>
  </em>
  <span> to Huaisang and saying something stupid that he would regret instantly…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He stayed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But not with Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hovered over Zhang Yu. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well.. He wouldn’t stay the whole night.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He would make the tedious drive home. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After he cleared his head of any confusion that Huaisang had unknowingly created in Zixuan’s thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zhang Yu pulled Zixuan down on top of her and caught his lips with hers. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>At least she was having fun. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>God, why did he keep doing this?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This wasn’t going to clear up anything. It never did. But he stayed anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a choice</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7cxvixChkWkp3ArbmINOHh?si=bb8e8adaab134094">
    <span>Wen Ning's Playlist</span>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. So Casually</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zixuan woke with a start. “Sorry,” Huaisang mumbled. He had been shaking him to wake him up. “Mingjue is home.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan groaned and pouted. “I didn’t finish the movie. What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know,” Huaisang rubbed his eyes. “I fell asleep too.”</p><p> </p><p>The door to the hallway opened; the light hitting Zixuan’s eyes. “Ugh,” he closed them, trying to peek at Mingjue but truly unable to stand the brightness. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you going home,” Mingjue asked him. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Zixuan pushed himself to the end of the bed and stood up, trying to blink the sleep from his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you drunk?”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he grumbled. “I didn’t drink.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you need to go home I’ll drive you,” Mingjue offered. “You’re going to fall asleep with that drive.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine,” Zixuan glanced around the room in confusion wondering where his keys were. They were in the kitchen still. “I have class tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Tomorrow is Saturday,” Mingjue pointed out. He glanced at Huaisang and sighed. “Goodnight guys.” He closed the door. </p><p> </p><p>“Zixuan,” Huaisang said tiredly. “Just go back to sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>He was so tired he didn’t even respond. He had been pulling all nighters periodically the last few weeks and it was finally catching up to him. He wasn’t even sure why he agreed to go over to Huaisang’s house after class when he just wanted to go to bed. </p><p> </p><p>He missed spending time with him. And he regretted going over Zhang Yu’s last week… again... after seeing Huaisang.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan dropped down heavily onto the bed, rolling over onto his stomach, but still pressing comfortably into the wall. Huaisang crawled under his sheets and settled down into the pillows. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan didn’t need to open his eyes. He was nearly asleep but he mumbled, “Are you looking at me?”</p><p> </p><p>“... Yeah…”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Zixuan didn’t move but let sleep overtake him. </p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight,” Huaisang smiled softly to himself. He was happy that Zixuan agreed to come over, even though he fell asleep quite fast. He was pretty when he fell asleep. And he was unconsciously holding onto Huaisang’s sleeve at one point.</p><p> </p><p>It was cute. </p><p> </p><p>He was tempted to kiss his cheek goodnight. But while he contemplated why he should absolutely <em> not </em> do that, his head was starting to spin. </p><p> </p><p>Why did he keep thinking about kissing Zixuan so casually like this? </p><p> </p><p>Why did he keep thinking back to when Zixuan had come by last week to cuddle and watch Les Mis? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about Zixuan’s arm around him? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about how Zixuan let him hold his hand?</p><p> </p><p>Why couldn’t he stop thinking about Zixuan?</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang sighed and shook his head. He was going crazy. </p><p> </p><p>That’s all. </p><p> </p><p>He glanced at Zixuan again before rolling over. He must have been really tired. He fell asleep <em> so </em>fast, both times. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan inhaled deeply and shifted in his sleep, folding his arms under the pillow. “Huaisang,” he mumbled into the pillow. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang looked over his shoulder, “Hm?”</p><p> </p><p>“‘Night.”</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> idk about that </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Just Some Bros Doing Bro Things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zixuan might’ve been a bit tipsy but he was not unaware of how Huaisang had been looking at him and speaking to him all night. Huaisang was <em> always </em>one to flirt and throw himself at people, especially Zixuan, so there wasn’t much to take away in those moments. But it all seemed… heightened, for lack of a better word, tonight. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan blamed it on the alcohol. Because there was no way anything could have been different.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang’s hand gently brushed over Zixuan’s waist as he leaned in to say something about who knows what. Zixuan was sure he was talking about something happening across the bar but he didn’t process a single word. He was too focused on Huaisang’s hand just barely touching his waist. He was too focused on how close Huaisang was standing to him. He was too focused on everything else to hear a word of what he said. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang had been on his tiptoes. He dropped back down and pulled back, laughing. Zixuan gave him a half smile back. </p><p> </p><p>What the hell did he say? </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be back,” Zixuan said over the noise, his own hand brushing over Huaisang’s as he walked  back. </p><p> </p><p><em> Pull yourself together </em>, he thought to himself on his way to the bar. He wasn’t even going to let himself think about this. He just needed a drink and not overthink himself into a hole. Again.</p><p> </p><p>A few shots later he finally found his way back to his friends. “Zixuan should go up there next,” Yanli giggled, pointing to two girls singing off key. </p><p> </p><p>“I think not,” Zixuan stumbled into a chair, accidentally brushing past Huaisang. “Sorry-”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang nonchalantly pushed a water towards Zixuan and straightened his hair as Yanli talked excitedly about something. </p><p> </p><p>Yet again, Zixuan could not process anything. His mind was preoccupied with Huaisang and how animated he was when he spoke… and his laugh... </p><p> </p><p>Just when Zixuan thought he was done thinking about Huaisang like this, he was hit with another wave of nothing <em> but </em> thinking of Huaisang… </p><p> </p><p>But damn, he was kind of great. And he sure as hell was pretty. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang laughed and pointed his fan at Wen Qing, “I <em> knew </em> it,” he did a little dance in his seat. “Huaisang: galaxy brain!”</p><p> </p><p>And cute. He was cute. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan tried to remind himself that this was just normal Huaisang things. He was overthinking all of his actions. For nothing.</p><p> </p><p>God, what was wrong with him?</p><p> </p><p>“Losers,” Jiang Cheng walked over. “When are we going home? Wen Ning is getting emotional.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Qing clicked her tongue, “I told him to slow down.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning walked up with a pout, “Wen Qing, I’m tired.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. We’re leaving,” Wen Qing stood up. “Who are you two going with,” she asked Zixuan and Huaisang. </p><p> </p><p>Oh shit… That’s right. Zixuan was sleeping over. </p><p> </p><p>“No they’re riding with you,” Jiang Cheng said. “This giant baby wanted to sleep over.”</p><p> </p><p>Yanli nodded, “We should get him tucked into bed immediately.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Huaisang jumped up, “Can I pick the music!”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” Wen Qing said warily as they all started making their way outside.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan immediately sat in the back. He could sit back here and close his eyes, and give himself time to <em> stop </em> processing the night on a loop in his mind. </p><p> </p><p>But Huaisang followed him and laid down, his head on Zixuan’s lap. He pulled out his phone and briefly reached into the front seat to grab the aux cord.</p><p> </p><p>“W-why aren’t you sitting in the front?”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang looked up into his wide eyes. Why did he look nervous? “I’ll get carsick,” he reminded him. </p><p> </p><p>“Please, do <em> not </em>,” Wen Qing warned as she started the car. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s why I’m back here!” Huaisang settled on a song. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Stay </em> back there,” Wen Qing backed out of the space.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang hummed to himself, occasionally mouthing the lyrics, seemingly innocent.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, Zixuan was truly having difficulty breathing at this rate. All the muscles in his body were tensing up in response to Huaisang laying in his lap. He was trying to keep his eyes pointed out the window but he couldn’t help and glance at Huaisang instead. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan was almost positive you weren’t supposed to think about kissing your best friend as often as he had in the last three years, <em> especially </em> at the capacity he’s thought about it in the last few months alone with how on-and-off he saw him these days. </p><p> </p><p>He never should’ve kissed him as a joke that one time… He may have never kissed him, or any boy in general, after that, but he’ll be damned if he never does it again.</p><p> </p><p>The kiss in high school was just… a joke… It was innocent, but it was cruel. </p><p> </p><p>It was cruel because all it ever did was occasionally make Zixuan curious. He didn’t have much time to form an opinion then, just that he thought Huaisang’s lips were soft. </p><p> </p><p>He was pretty sure that he wouldn’t actually like kissing Huaisang if he got to again. But… </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan gently fixed Huaisang’s outer robes as they had slowly loosened throughout the night. Huaisang opened his eyes at the feel of Zixuan’s hands moving up his chest as he pulled the fabrics over each other. </p><p> </p><p><em> Oh </em>, Huaisang thought. This was not good for his overactive imagination. He watched him carefully. Zixuan sighed and looked out the window again. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang bit his lip. Yeah this wasn’t good. Truthfully he hadn’t been able to <em> stop </em> thinking about Zixuan lately, no matter how hard he tried, and frankly he felt like he was going crazy because of it. Maybe a little delusional. He <em> knew </em> it was all in his head. That nothing was going to be reciprocated but...</p><p> </p><p>The way Zixuan kept looking at him through the duration of the night did <em> not </em> help in the slightest. He <em> knew </em> it was just in his head. </p><p> </p><p>It had to be. </p><p> </p><p>But maybe… Well maybe this time it wasn’t…?</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan tried so hard to distract himself. With more thoughts. Thoughts about his assignments. About texts he had to reply to. About what he was going to do tomorrow. </p><p> </p><p>But then he was somehow right back to thinking about Huaisang kissing him instead. And god he wanted that. He <em> really </em> wanted that. He couldn’t pretend that he didn’t. </p><p> </p><p>He was sure if he asked Huaisang to kiss him, he would. Hell, the guy had literally said he’d sleep with his friends if they wanted. Why wouldn’t Huaisang kiss him if he asked? A kiss was nothing in comparison.</p><p> </p><p>No, he couldn’t ask. </p><p> </p><p>But… He wanted to kiss him.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan squinted in thought. Did that mean he was gay? </p><p> </p><p>Hold on…</p><p> </p><p>Nah, it was just a kiss. Didn’t mean anything.</p><p> </p><p>… Right?</p><p> </p><p>He glanced down to find Huaisang looking at him. “... What?”</p><p> </p><p>“You look like you’re trying to solve the world’s hardest math problem,” he laughed out. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan let out a laugh, “Yeah, well… that’s pretty much what I was doing.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Qing turned down the music. “Okay, get out, go to sleep,” she turned around. “Go hydrate.”</p><p> </p><p>“With <em> more </em>alcohol,” Huaisang sat up and threw the door open.</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely not what I said,” Wen Qing sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“‘Night,” Zixuan called following him reluctantly. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan was mentally kicking himself for overthinking the whole night. Of course Huaisang wasn’t doing anything but being… well… Huaisang. It really wasn’t out of the ordinary. He put too much thought into everything. And here they were, doing exactly what they always do; nothing was different. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang was sprawled out on the floor, Zixuan on the couch, both of them aimlessly scrolling through their social media, already dressed for bed. They had already eaten and had plenty of water.</p><p> </p><p>Occasionally sound erupted from one of their phone’s when they opened a video. </p><p> </p><p>This was normal.</p><p> </p><p>It might’ve been normal but that didn’t stop Huaisang from noticing that Zixuan seemed a bit fidgety and his thoughts clearly elsewhere. He pushed himself up with a grunt, quite steady on his feet. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan watched him for just a moment before turning back to his phone, finally answering one of his classmate’s messages from earlier in the day. </p><p> </p><p>He jumped at a sound in the kitchen. “What are you doing,” he called.</p><p> </p><p>No response.</p><p> </p><p>“Huaisang,” he called.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh,” Huaisang shuffled back in the room with a massive bottle.</p><p> </p><p>“... What is that?”</p><p> </p><p>He poured two glasses. “You look like you need another drink.”</p><p> </p><p>“More like the whole bottle,” Zixuan joked and slid down to the floor with Huaisang and took the glass. </p><p> </p><p>“Well half of it is yours,” Huaisang propped an elbow on the table. “What’s up? We haven’t talked all night.”</p><p> </p><p>“We talk every day,” Zixuan pointed out with an amused smirk. “Won’t we run out of things to talk about?”</p><p> </p><p>“We haven’t in the last, what, sixteen-ish years?” Huaisang tried to read his body language. He got like this sometimes, not often, but sometimes. Huaisang just never was around him too long after. Zixuan always found reasons to leave or cut things short, and the next day was completely fine. Even when they lived together. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan kept looking around the room aimlessly; really just avoiding looking at Huaisang. </p><p> </p><p>He really wasn’t sure what was on Zixuan’s mind. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan was usually so confident in himself and knew where he stood with everyone in the room. But he looked so unsure of his surroundings at the moment. Even more unusual considering how much time he spent at the Nie residence; he felt <em> quite </em> at home here.</p><p> </p><p>“You know we never talk about the weather,” Huaisang started. “Let’s discuss the weather.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan looked at him, “Climate change?” He straightened up and leaned forward, “Okay, first of all-”</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> reset </span> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>Huaisang listened to Zixuan rant and ramble for who knows how long; laughing, agreeing, asking him questions, interjecting. He couldn’t help but smile every time Zixuan’s words slurred into the next, or when he’d fumble over them. It didn’t happen a lot but it was funny when he did. </p><p> </p><p>He was by no means drunk but whew was he feeling it.</p><p> </p><p>“Scum-”</p><p> </p><p>“- <em> Scum! </em>” Zixuan nodded in agreement. “I’m going to send you that study though that I was talking about,” Zixuan shook his phone. “But not right now, I’ll never find it tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll remind you.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you remember.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have reset,” Huaisang announced proudly. “Trust me I will absolutely remember you ranting about the lack of retention- attention?....... <em> Action </em> towards climate change-”</p><p> </p><p>“-crisis-”</p><p> </p><p>“-Whatever,” Huaisang waved his hand. “I had lots of water tonight, for once, so I’m not forgetting it,” he said with determination. “Do it again when you’re sober.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m more impressive when I’m sober, I’ll have you know-”</p><p> </p><p>“-oh, I know-”</p><p> </p><p>“-because I actually sound intelligent.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re always smart,” Huaisang picked up the empty glasses and laughed. “<em> I’m </em> the stupid one.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, I resent that,” Zixuan grabbed the bottle and followed him into the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang clumsily put the glasses into the sink, “Why? I just called you smart.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah but,” Zixuan reached around him to put the bottle on the counter, “You called yourself stupid. You’re not.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay but-”</p><p> </p><p>“No-”</p><p> </p><p>“Zixuan-”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan placed his hand over Huaisang’s mouth. “<em> Nope </em>.” Huaisang rolled his eyes. “Roll ‘em aaaall you want.”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang moved his hand and snorted. “<em> Y’know- </em>” he accidentally knocked over the empty wine bottle as he turned. </p><p> </p><p>“We need to go to bed,” Zixuan laughed, setting the bottle off to the side.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang went off rambling about being drunk and how it’s always fun until it’s not. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan listened in amusement as he grabbed his things. He didn’t bother staying because he knew Huaisang would just keep going. He quietly walked out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>“-you just get a bit <em> noodle-y </em> sometimes y’know,” Huaisang turned around as he stripped. “ <em> Wow, </em>” he yelled out the door. “Real rude, Zixuan!” Huaisang yelled. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan was feeling a bit brave. Or rather, the alcohol was making him think he was feeling brave. So he pretty much decided while he stood in the bathroom, running his fingers through his hair to comb it out.</p><p> </p><p>He was going to kiss Huaisang again. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe not tonight, but he was going to... At some point.</p><p> </p><p><em> I should probably sleep somewhere else </em> , Huaisang thought to himself as he dropped his hair pieces onto his desk. He had to physically restrain himself from leaning across the coffee table earlier. He wasn’t sure Zixuan even realized how often he touched Huaisang’s thigh throughout the night, both at the bar and after, but Huaisang was overly aware. <em> Nah, it’s fine </em> … <em> Right? </em></p><p> </p><p>This was all normal. Nothing to see here.</p><p> </p><p>Just two bros going about their night.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang shook his head at himself for thinking it was anything but. </p><p> </p><p>Ridiculous.</p><p> </p><p><em> No, maybe tonight </em>, Zixuan froze when he walked back into the room. Huaisang pulled his clothes tight around him, humming mindlessly. He twisted his hair and looked for his pin on his desk. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan placed his things onto his bag on the floor and grabbed the pin from Huaisang’s dresser. He walked up behind him and held it out, “Here,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang looked up at him.</p><p> </p><p><em> Fuck… This isn’t good </em>, Huaisang let his hair go. No it wasn’t right…  </p><p> </p><p>They didn’t move for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>Just a moment. </p><p> </p><p>Unaware of what was going on in the other’s head, they were both analyzing the night, and calculating their next move.</p><p> </p><p>While Huaisang was convincing himself that it was all in his head, Zixuan was convincing himself that it wasn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan put the pin on the desk. </p><p> </p><p>They spoke at the same time, “Is it okay if I ask you something a little weird?”; “Do you want me to sleep in the guest room this time?”</p><p> </p><p>Both of them processed what the other said, “What?”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan blinked in confusion, “Why would I want that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nevermind, what was your question,” Huaisang waved his hands. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan opened his mouth but promptly closed it. He lost his momentum by that odd exchange. “Uh,” he froze. “Hm. Nothing, nevermind,” he shook his head. “Uhm… Did you want me to sleep in the other room though?”</p><p> </p><p>“What, no? Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well you thought <em> I </em> wanted <em> you </em>to,” Zixuan suggested. “But this is your room; I thought maybe-”</p><p> </p><p>“No, no,” Huaisang waved his hands again, “No, god, sorry, I just… Nope, nothing.”</p><p> </p><p>“O-okay,” Zixuan seemed even more uncomfortable than before. The tension between them was nearly physically visible at this point. “Uh,” he bit the inside of his cheek, “Okay,” he nodded and turned.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait,” Huaisang stopped him. “What was your question though,” he asked again. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s nothing,” Zixuan assured him. </p><p> </p><p>He froze before he got into the bed. </p><p> </p><p>It was just Huaisang... </p><p> </p><p>“Actually,” he turned back around. There was nothing wrong with asking, right? “Okay,” he let out an exhale, puffing his cheeks out. He looked nervous; he shook his hands and inhaled sharply, “Okay. First, I want to clarify that I am <em> drunk </em>,” he clasped his hands together. </p><p> </p><p>This was not drunk for either of them. They both knew that.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang laughed despite himself, “Okay?” Zixuan looked so nervous but he continued regardless. </p><p> </p><p>“Second, this is <em> your </em> fault, so, just,” he held his hands up. Huaisang pursed his lips trying to figure out where Zixuan was going with this. “It was <em> you </em> ,” he pointed. Zixuan spoke quickly, “-Who said you see nothing weird about friends sleeping together with no strings attached- <em> wait </em> , god <em> no </em> that’s not how I meant to start this-”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. My. <em> God </em> ,” Huaisang gaped. “Zixuan, <em> what </em>-”</p><p> </p><p>“-what I was going to ask is nothing in comparison to <em> that </em> . I just wanted you to kiss me because frankly I’m trying to see something, okay, and I don’t know who to ask because you’re the only guy I’ve ever kissed, even if it was for like a <em> second </em> , and I’m just asking for <em> one </em> kiss because I like girls,” he motioned to himself. “A-and you like guys,” he motioned to Huaisang. “But y’know I’m just trying to see something,” Huaisang watched in shock as Zixuan spiraled. “And I really only trust you, because y’know you’re, my best friend, and you said that you thought it was fine if friends wanted to-” he let out a heavy breath; a complete wreck. “-And I figured if you thought <em> that </em> was okay then- Huaisang I’m asking if you could just fucking kiss me.”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang blinked.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan’s entire expression changed from worry to utter disbelief, “<em> Oh my god, no </em> ,” he yelled at himself, his fight or flight officially kicking in. “I <em> can’t </em> believe I asked that. Oh my <em> god </em> . Huaisang I’ve fucking lost it, oh my god I’m going home. Never mention this again. Just fucking,” he motioned in the air with his hands, “cut me off, never speak to me again- <em> where is my phone? </em> Nevermind, mail it-”</p><p> </p><p>“I…” Huaisang grabbed his arm to stop him. “Oh my <em> god </em>, Zixuan.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan groaned and covered his face. “I’m drunk, I’m drunk, I’m drunk, I’m drunk.”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang laughed and pulled Zixuan’s hands from his face, “Stop, stop. It’s <em> fine </em>. Are you sure about that though?”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang didn’t seem horrified. That was good? Zixuan stressed, “<em> Only </em> if you don’t care and-”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t,” Huaisang confirmed. “It’s just for fun anyways. No strings attached.”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly,” Zixuan breathed out as Huaisang pulled him closer. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> And </em> it’s <em> just </em>a kiss.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just a kiss,” Zixuan tensed up as Huaisang reached up. </p><p> </p><p>But then he felt his fingertips brush against his cheek. </p><p> </p><p>But then he felt his breath. </p><p> </p><p>But then…</p><p> </p><p>To say he melted under Huaisang’s touch might have been an understatement. The second Huaisang’s lips locked with his, all the tension in Zixuan’s body just went away. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang lightly held Zixuan’s face. The kiss was slow and cautious. </p><p> </p><p>At first. </p><p> </p><p>Neither of them knew how badly the other wanted this. They didn’t know that they had both been thinking about this throughout the last couple years. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until they kissed again did they even <em> realize </em> just how badly they wanted this themselves. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan wrapped his arms around Huaisang’s waist, pulling him closer. He didn’t want to <em> stop </em> kissing him. He thought about this moment for years, but he didn’t think it would ever happen. If he hadn’t waited this long to finally ask, he might not have been so desperate to hold on to this as long as he could.</p><p> </p><p>And well, Huaisang had wanted this for longer than he dared to even admit to himself. He didn’t think he’d ever kiss Zixuan like <em> this </em>. He just never imagined it would even be an opportunity. Despite the fact that Zixuan had always kissed girls, talked about girls, been with girls… they were just friends. Best friends.</p><p> </p><p>They weren’t supposed to be doing this. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang wasn’t delusional enough to think anything would come from it. Zixuan quite literally just told him he just wanted to kiss for a hot second. But he’d be damned if he ever turned him down if he ever wanted to again. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan had fully expected to probably, maybe, be a bit turned off by kissing Huaisang. They were best friends for fuck’s sake. They had always been close. Huaisang was always a bit more touchy feely with Zixuan than most people, but he didn’t mind in the least. He was accustomed to it after so many years. </p><p> </p><p>And then he kissed him in high school. Straight up grabbed his face and gave him a quick smooch. A loud, obnoxious “mwah!” And he just fucking slowly, and torturously spiraled for years over it. Because from that moment he had been curious about kissing him again. He was curious about maybe kissing boys from that moment, but mostly just Huaisang. </p><p> </p><p>He thought it was all in his head all this time and once he finally, <em> finally </em> kissed him, the curiosity would die, and he’d go back to <em> never </em>wondering about Huaisang. </p><p> </p><p>He was wrong. So, so wrong. </p><p> </p><p>It’s been years of the both of them wanting this and keeping it entirely to themselves. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t any surprise that they were starting to get carried away. </p><p> </p><p>They wanted more.</p><p> </p><p>It was like they put logic and reason to rest. They ignored everything; or more: they forgot everything. They forgot who they were; they forgot who they were to each other. They were just two guys, absolutely indulging in one another. </p><p> </p><p>So here he was, with Huaisang hovering over him, and he just couldn’t get close enough...</p><p> </p><p>And here he was, his breath catching when Huaisang’s hands trailing down his side, just barely touching his skin. Huaisang’s lips brushed over Zixuan’s neck as he sat back-</p><p> </p><p>They both froze suddenly. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan had let out a quiet groan. Quiet, but fuck… It scared the shit out of them.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan didn’t do that. Like ever. Not unless it was fake as hell and only because someone, usually Zhang Yu, told him to make some sort of noise. He didn’t like being heard. At all. Ever.</p><p> </p><p>But Huaisang had done <em> nothing </em> significant and managed to pull one out of him unprompted. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang scrambled off of Zixuan in a panic, <em> Oh no, no no no- </em></p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” Huaisang apologized. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Both of them were a bit out of breath and little thrown off. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Well, a lot thrown off. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Zixuan did not know if this was real life anymore if he was being honest. “I, uhm…”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Huaisang swept his hair over his shoulder, “I’m sorry, I, I just-”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Zixuan fixed his top with a frown. He was trying to process what the fuck just happened. But he wasn’t really sure where to begin. He was a bit stunned but fuck, he kinda felt like he was flying. </p><p>
  
</p><p>He blamed the alcohol. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“We should go to sleep,” Huaisang suggested nervously.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“We should,” Zixuan muttered. </p><p>
  
</p><p>He also blamed the alcohol when he pulled Huaisang back towards him for one more kiss. Something brief. </p><p>
  
</p><p>It felt final.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Probably for the best.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Huaisang didn’t know what he was supposed to do except look back at Zixuan, waiting for… something. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Okay,” Zixuan finally said. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Okay,” Zixuan repeated, shuffled towards the wall and like always, pressed his back against it comfortably. </p><p> </p><p><em> Okay </em>, Huaisang let out a breath he had been holding and crossed the room to turn off the light. He weighed his options on whether he should sleep in his own room or head to the guest room… </p><p> </p><p>Whatever the hell happened had clearly happened because they had let things build up for far too long. He couldn’t let that happen again. It was a bad idea. </p><p> </p><p>… He wasn’t sure what the best option was. He didn’t want to make Zixuan uncomfortable by staying, but he didn’t want to offend him by leaving either… </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan pulled the blanket over his shoulder and covered half of his face. It used to be his before Huaisang stole it for himself back in high school. He had long given up trying to claim it back, but often borrowed it when he slept over. </p><p> </p><p>He watched Huaisang’s hand pause over the lightswitch and glance back at him. “Do you-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” Zixuan stopped him. “Just a kiss,” he reminded him. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang nodded, “Just a kiss.” Nothing else. Just a kiss. A little carried away, but still just a kiss. Didn’t mean anything. <em> Right </em>? </p><p> </p><p>Completely ignoring what just happened, things seemed normal. Huaisang got comfortable under his sheets, hugging a pillow; Zixuan against the wall, under his blanket.</p><p> </p><p>It was normal. It wouldn’t be normal for Huaisang to turn towards the wall; to Zixuan, even though he wanted to. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan just wanted a kiss. Even if it got a little out of hand. That’s all he wanted.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want anything more than that. He didn’t want <em> Huaisang </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang reached for his lips despite himself. He rolled onto his back and looked at Zixuan, the only light coming from the window.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan already had his eyes closed, face buried into the pillow, blanket held over him. He was definitely trying to hide his face. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang hummed and rolled back over. “Goodnight, Zixuan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Night.” Huaisang felt the bed shift slightly as Zixuan turned around to face the wall instead. “Thanks,” he added quietly.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Zixuan jerked awake the next morning. The room was bright.</p><p> </p><p>He sat up quickly in shock when he remembered what the fuck happened last night. It had taken him ages to fall asleep because he hadn’t been able to shut his brain up. “Oh my god,” he muttered to himself. He looked for his phone but had no idea where it was. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang was still passed out, in the middle of the bed now, one arm under his pillow, the other draped over the pillow he usually hugged in the middle of the night, a leg bent over it. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan inhaled slowly and carefully reached over him to pick up Huaisang’s phone. </p><p> </p><p>12:36 PM</p><p> </p><p>“Shit,” Zixuan whispered. Unbelievable. <em> Unbelievable </em>. Of course he never set his alarm. Of course he slept in on the day he promised his dad that he would go to brunch with him, his mother, and a couple family friends.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan slowly crawled over Huaisang, hoping that the movement wouldn’t wake him up; he didn’t have time for any awkward conversations right now. </p><p> </p><p>God, why did he have to sleep in this position? It really made it difficult to limit the motion of the mattress dipping back and forth. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding until he was properly standing on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>He grabbed everything and quietly slipped from the room to run to the bathroom and change. He missed numerous calls from his dad, not to mention all of the texts from his mother. </p><p> </p><p>Well shit. </p><p> </p><p>He would get his ass chewed out, he was sure, but it was fine. </p><p> </p><p>This was fine. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang woke up not twenty minutes later. Much calmer than Zixuan had, that is until he realized Zixuan wasn’t there. </p><p> </p><p>He sat up and <em> immediately </em> noticed that his things were gone. </p><p> </p><p>“Zixuan,” he called, walking down the hall to the guest room, <em> just in case </em> he had woken up in the middle of the night and did decide to switch rooms. </p><p> </p><p>But it was empty. The house was empty. </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck,” Huaisang shuffled back to his room. </p><p> </p><p>It was a mistake. A was a fucking mistake. </p><p> </p><p>Why did he agree to kiss him? He kissed him and he left without saying anything. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang felt the panic bubbling up in his chest. Why did he kiss him? Why did he do that? Why did he think that would be okay? He should’ve known better. </p><p> </p><p>He knew Zixuan. Why did he trick himself into thinking this was okay? Of course Zixuan didn’t want to actually kiss him. </p><p> </p><p>He made it up. He completely made it up.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang picked up his phone and saw 3 messages from Zixuan. His mind went worse-case scenario, naturally. So he sat on the edge of his bed to prepare himself. </p><p> </p><p>He unlocked his phone.</p><p> </p><p>He sighed loudly and dropped back. “Thank god.”</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> f </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/><br/></p><p><span class="u"> swell </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></p><p><span class="u"> fun </span> </p><p> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Zixuan Is So Very Confused</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan was confused to say the absolute least. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This didn’t make any sense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was supposed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> like kissing Huaisang. Especially not as much as he did. He kind of hated himself for making noise because it ended it. And he didn’t want it to end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Also he felt like he made a fool of himself because what the actual fuck? Really? Huaisang wasn’t even doing anything. His hands were barely touching him. All he did was-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan covered his face, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my god</span>
  </em>
  <span>…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was practically </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why did…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just Huaisang...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pulled out his phone. He was still sitting in his car after his classes, debating on what to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced over his past texts with Huaisang… Why did he tell Zixuan he could kiss him again?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Could they? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was that okay? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No. Probably not</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Zixuan sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>God, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>confused. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He should’ve texted Huaisang. In hindsight, it was probably the better of the options. Considering how confused he was about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he texted Zhang Yu instead. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was just so incredibly confused. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time in his life, he felt almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>desperate </span>
  </em>
  <span>to get into bed with a woman. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not almost… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> desperate.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. The Other Woman He Fears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">timeline update </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wen qing reached out to wuxian </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Mr. &amp; Mrs. are having a conversation,” Zixuan joked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who even invited you,” Wen Qing glared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who invited </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan returned the glare. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me when I heard you were going to be here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two,” Yanli rolled her eyes and smiled. “You’re so annoying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When are you going to tell him,” Wen Qing asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what,” Zixuan asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli curled up on her couch happily now that Jiang Cheng was no longer occupying it. “That we’re dating.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan blinked. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You-</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he motioned to the both of them before lying on the floor dramatically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is why I wanted to wait,” Yanli sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing stood over him and put her hands on her hips. “Are you processing?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Process faster,” Wen Qing nudged him with her foot. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at Yanli, “I can’t believe you picked </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wen Qing</span>
  </em>
  <span>; how do I compete with her?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing rolled her eyes. “If I didn’t already know about your marriage pact I would be offended.” She held out her hand and helped Zixuan up. “Unfortunately, I am the other woman that you fear.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll never say this again,” Zixuan started. “But fear you, I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli laughed. “She’s not scary.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Wen Qing stopped her. “Let him believe I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Zixuan started, “Despite my utter disappointment that Wen Qing is my competition,” he joked, “I am happy you two are </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> dating. It took long enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Yanli said slowly. “There’s just one more thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I don’t like that look…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad knows.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>… Shit...</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Some Sort of Drama</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Mingjue was asked to go meet with Jin Guangshan. He wasn’t really sure what it was for, but he did as his Uncle asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tagged along because it had been a while since he’d been in Lanling. Maybe Zixuan was around for the day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But when they got to Carp Tower, Zixuan was not with Madam Jin and Guangyao to greet them. “Huaisang,” Madam Jin smiled brightly at him. “Sweet boy, I don’t see you nearly enough. I see your brother more than I see you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hadn’t stepped foot in Carp Tower since before their freshman year at school. But he was always greeted so warmly by Madam Jin. “But I thought you were already with Zixuan,” she frowned in thought. “He left early this morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao glanced to Madam Jin and back to Huaisang. He understood quite fast. “Oh! Right,” he laughed out, dropping his hand on Mingjue’s shoulder. “I found out that Mingjue was coming this way this morning,” not a lie, “So I just decided to come with him instead of by train,” partial lie. “Guess I forgot to tell him I would meet him here first!” He laughed at himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue didn’t react at all. Clearly Huaisang was covering for Zixuan. He knew better than to get involved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guangyao,” Madam Jin turned to him. He smiled instinctively. “Call Zixuan and let him know Huaisang is here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t do that. He wasn’t going to answer. “He told me where he was going for lunch with Huaisang, if Huaisang is okay with it,” he turned his smile to him, “I can bring him to Zixuan instead? That way Zixuan isn’t going back and forth?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! That would be great. Thank you!” Huaisang smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them said anything to each other after they left Mingjue and Madam Jin. Huaisang waited until they had started making their way off the property. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You know where Zixuan is?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Guangyao replied, slowing the car as Jin Ling and a dog darted out. Jin Ling waved apologetically as he ran off. “His phone is usually on Do Not Disturb. He only really checks it around lunchtime, just in case… It’s easier to just bring you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m confused,” Huaisang replied as Guangyao merged onto the highway. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can talk to Zixuan about it,” Guangyao replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“...Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Guangyao added. “It’s just not really my business.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang eyed Guangyao. “Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation with you before.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao didn’t look at him. “You don’t have to change that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang huffed. “I see you at my house sometimes,” he pointed out. “If you’re friends with my brother, we should at least talk once in a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Huaisang replied. “You could at least say ‘hi’.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation ended there. Huaisang didn’t mind, though he did wonder what the heck Guangyao and Mingjue ever talked about, or did together. He seemed dull. And uptight. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Xichen was the reason they were friends.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually Guangyao pulled into a small dirt parking lot and unlocked the doors. Huaisang saw Zixuan’s car parked on the grass beside a small wooden building. “He’s probably in the greenhouse to the back,” Guangyao replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… Thanks,” he hopped out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao called before he closed the door, “Do you want me to wait?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s fine,” he closed the door. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hummed in thought as he walked to the greenhouse, passing a stand against the small wooden building that had baskets of vegetables. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even need to go inside the greenhouse before he spotted Zixuan. He had to do a double take though since his back was facing Huaisang. If he didn’t see Zixuan’s ears he wouldn’t have even guessed it was him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was dressed in dark clothes; no sweeping sleeves or flowing robes, likely so nothing could get caught on anything. His hair in a neat, tight bun; no accessories. Huaisang wasn’t sure he had even seen Zixuan wear such dark clothes. Similar style yes, when he went running sometimes. But never so dark.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was crouching before a medium sized plant on a display rack outside the greenhouse. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang stepped closer to see his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked concerned as he reached out with a gloved hand. He was so… gentle. Huaisang died a bit on the inside. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He carefully held a yellowing leaf on the plant and sighed. Huaisang almost didn’t want to disrupt him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A woman walked up beside Huaisang, “Do you need any help finding something?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Huaisang let out a nervous laugh and waved his hands. “No, I’m okay, thank you,” he dipped his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ask that boy there if you need any help,” she replied before walking away. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang?” Zixuan questioned when he heard his voice. “What- what are doing here?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uncle asked my brother to meet with Guangshan,” he replied. Zixuan put a flowering plant down. “Your mom thought I was already in Lanling?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s eyes widened a bit. Right. He used Huaisang as the excuse this time. “Oh… I, uh…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry,” Huaisang peeked into the greenhouse. “Guangyao and I covered. He dropped me off,” he added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan watched Huaisang look around before he walked into the greenhouse. He didn’t anticipate ever seeing Huaisang here. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t tell me anything though,” Huaisang ran his finger over the petals of a peony. He looked pretty surrounded by so many flowers. Zixuan smiled to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Give me a second,” Zixuan went to go look for Granny Xiao. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was spying on them just outside the greenhouse. He nearly ran into her. “Slow down,” she laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I’m only here for two more hours but would it be okay if I took half an hour to get lunch with my friend?” Zixuan motioned to Huaisang who was still walking around looking at everything.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Friend, huh?” Granny Xiao looked at Huaisang and back to Zixuan with a grin. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. It’s okay if-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hush,” she patted his arm. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you go pick up the apples I bought from the orchard and head out early? I’ll give you an apple pie to bring him tomorrow after your shift.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Zixuan lowered his voice. “He isn’t from Lanling, Granny Xiao. I won’t see him tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Granny Xiao smiled at him regardless. “Then I guess you’ll have to go see him. Now go, go,” she pushed him towards Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang smiled as Zixuan stumbled in. “Uhm… I have to go pick up some apples, and then I’m off? We can go get lunch nearby if you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay sure,” Huaisang nodded happily. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang followed Zixuan quietly to his car. Something was different about the way Zixuan was holding himself right now. The way he moved was different. It reminded him of when it was just the two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t just the two of them. And yet he was still so relaxed, so in his element.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be right back,” Zixuan called to Granny Xiao as he pulled off his gloves. He pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked his car and hopped in. He put his phone in the cupholder and the gloves on the dash. “So,” he huffed as they buckled in. “It’s just down the road. It’s her daughter’s place,” he put the car in reverse. “It should only take a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang pulled his leg up. Zixuan turned the music down when his phone finally connected to his car. “Zixuan,” he said slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pulled out onto the road and took off. “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you still listening to Wen Ning’s playlist,” Huaisang turned the volume up slowly to check. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” Zixuan sighed. “It can’t be helped.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang turned it back down as he laughed, “You’re both so-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” Zixuan waved. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked out the window, amused. He took in the landscape. It was beautiful out here. No extravagant buildings, or bustling sidewalks. “Where exactly are we?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Outskirts of Lanling,” Zixuan replied, slowing down as they neared the orchard. “If we keep going down this road for like… A minute more, we’ll leave Lanling. Which is where we’re going after I drop off these apples. Be right back.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan parked his car right in front of the little store and pressed the button to open the trunk of his car. He grabbed his gloves and carefully rolled up his sleeves as he left the car. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang watched him walk around and up the steps into the store. He was out just as quick, holding a bushel of apples in front of him. He called something over his shoulder as he made his way back to the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something about this whole moment was breaking Huaisang. It must’ve been how comfortable Zixuan was around these people. Huaisang absolutely loved to see it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He loved to see him act like this.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Dress like this.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Drive </span>
  </em>
  <span>like this. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t even sure it was the same Zixuan until they were sitting at a small table outside waiting for their food when Zixuan realized what he was wearing. He sighed, “I forgot to change. Sorry, I’ll be right back-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to,” Huaisang stopped him. “It doesn’t bother me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked down at himself. His family would never let him walk around in public like this. “It doesn’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not,” Huaisang smiled. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course not</span>
  </em>
  <span>. How could he possibly think that Zixuan looked bad like this. “Besides, you just got out of work,” he smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I did,” Zixuan leaned back. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A </span>
  <em>
    <span>job</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang added for emphasis.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A job,” Zixuan repeated with an eye roll. Water was brought out to them. Zixuan immediately changed the way he was sitting and fixed his posture. “Thank you.” He waited until they were out of sight before stretching his leg out again. “I needed the money,” Zixuan told Huaisang. Huaisang blinked in confusion. Zixuan needed money? Since when? “Well, and the experience. That’s good too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tilted his head in thought, “I get experience,” he nodded. “But money?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan explained everything with Baling U, deciding with Wen Qing and Mianmian to change his home address to Wen Qing’s and to pay for the courses on his own. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And you wanted to keep the job?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan nodded, “I’ll need it next summer too. And I could probably use the extra money. I didn’t end up using everything I’ve made so I’ve been saving it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“As someone who only has an allowance and accidentally spends it too fast, I’m all for saving when possible,” Huaisang replied. “But what are you saving it for?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan picked at the food that was brought to their table earlier. “In case I get cut off.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan, I’ve seen your bank account. Even if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> cut you off you’d be okay for quite some time,” Huaisang pointed out. “A long time if you’re smart.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He has access to all of it,” Zixuan countered. “I opened a separate bank account this summer,” something Guangyao advised him to do, “And I’ve slowly been withdrawing money to just put back into the new account. Just in case he decides to go in and take my money.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s smart,” Huaisang agreed. “It sounds like an exhausting summer.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan huffed, “Trust me,” he nodded and continued eating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the sneaking around and pretending that made it hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was upset with himself. The last week of summer and the first couple weeks of school he had been on Zixuan’s case to hang out. Like, outright annoying him. Zixuan did snap at him eventually and neither of them talked to each other for a few days as a result. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He must’ve been exhausted with the classes, working all week and weekends, trailing behind his father, and driving for hours every day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop that,” Zixuan said to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it,” Zixuan glanced up. “I never told you anyways,” he reminded him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">no </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan and Huaisang sat side by side and just looked out over the small lake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan used to come here with two of his older cousins when he was younger. They would go skating on the lake when it was frozen and when they wanted to leave Carp Tower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan couldn’t ice skate to save his life but he used to like playing in the snow while he waited for them to finish so they could get some hot cocoa before going back home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t really sure when they stopped doing that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you skate,” Zixuan asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like… Roller skate or ice skate? Because I can’t roller skate for </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang scoffed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ice skate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh,” Huaisang shrugged. “I can’t do anything fancy like Mingjue but, yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at Huaisang in shock, “Mingjue?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He played hockey,” Huaisang explained boredly. “He made me learn to skate thinking I would play hockey with him.” He laughed. “A solid try. You?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God no,” Zixuan laughed. “Wheels or ice, you will never find me with the ability to skate. Ever.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Worse,” Zixuan replied with a grin. He reached up and undid the tidy bun. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was going to have a heart attack right there. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like he was living in some sort of drama. When the pretty person let’s their hair down, the gentle breeze immediately blows their hair back, just so… And the way he was sitting, in those dark and form fitting clothes…. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang blinked and looked away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he asked himself. This was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> some drama. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was real life. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to change in the car real quick,” Zixuan stood with a huff. “Then we can head back to Carp Tower.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, sure,” Huaisang nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan could not go back to Carp Tower wearing this. He really should’ve changed back at Granny Xiao’s like he usually did. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But it wouldn’t have been the first time he needed to change quickly in his car.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tried to pull himself together. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was failing miserably.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>oh to be a piece of pie</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>the toothbrush tradition officially begins with the rest</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. In This Universe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Was it a month? It must’ve been a month by now since Huaisang kissed Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had been drunk since (and </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> drunk this time). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had fallen asleep in the same bed since. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had just continued life as normal since. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no awkwardness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no discussion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no indication that either of them had even thought about that night, let alone would ever kiss again. Or even </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to. Besides the one text the following morning, there was nothing to show for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s almost like it had never happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Similarly to the kiss in high school though the two instances were very different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So here Zixuan was, sitting next to Huaisang in his living room again. All their friends were over since Mingjue was gone again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was normal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It should have been anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>resent</span>
  </em>
  <span> that,” Wen Qing frowned at Jiang Cheng. “I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> cheat. How do you even cheat in this game?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning piped up, “Oh, you would-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t sure what the change was at the particular moment, but with his friends paying them absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> mind… he suddenly realized that he was uncomfortably close to Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>… thinking about the kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>I mean, Zixuan wanted to kiss him again, and would welcome it if it happened. But that was more… Long-term thinking. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Because they didn’t talk about this. He had pushed that night to the back of his head… Well he had tried to.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But now, he was honestly having difficulty thinking of anything but. He wasn’t sure he was even hearing his friends bicker before him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was </span>
  <em>
    <span>right there</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Why was he only just noticing how close they were sitting… Practically on top of each other...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>such</span>
  </em>
  <span> a stupid thought too. He was almost nearly </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>sitting next to Huaisang. Sitting this close wasn’t anything new or worth noting either. It was normal. But it didn’t feel normal.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t normal; this time he wanted to kiss Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t know what was different about this moment either but he was getting anxious sitting next to Zixuan. Which was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>weird to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not like they hadn’t been this physically close since they kissed. After they agreed to never talk about it again, they went right back to normal. They literally even texted nearly 3 hours after their text about never discussing this and continued on with their life. Completely normal. Nothing off here.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They weren’t awkward around each other when they drank. They weren’t awkward around each other when they ended up falling asleep together. They weren’t even awkward when Huaisang continued his daddy jokes. He kept flirting with Zixuan like always, and it wasn’t weird for either of them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely </span>
  </em>
  <span>normal. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Until tonight. In this moment. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had no explanation. But he looked down to see Zixuan’s leg bouncing and nervously fidgeting with the empty bottle in his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang ignored it to the best of his ability. He tried to focus on his friends before him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was almost scared to move, to shift in even the slightest. He wasn’t sure how it would seem. Like he was anxious? Like he was trying to put space between them? Or would it seem normal; overlooked as nothing?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s knee swayed into his; Huaisang looked down a little too fast. If this </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> any normal moment, he wouldn’t have even acknowledged any part of Zixuan touching him ‘by accident’.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked up as Zixuan glanced at him. Huaisang raised his eyebrow in question, as if asking Zixuan outright what was going on. Zixuan clenched his jaw and looked away. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was different.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang inhaled slowly and pressed his lips tightly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh god, oh god, oh god-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan cleared his throat and stood, wordlessly taking Huaisang’s empty bottle beside him and walked to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sprawled out on the couch. “Wen Ning always cheats,” he whined. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not this time,” Wen Ning rolled a bag of chips closed. “This time Jiang Cheng did.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he shouted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You did,” Yanli pointed out quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And you accused </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wen Qing huffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>eye roll</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan put the snacks away in their proper place trying to pretend it wasn’t about to be just him and Huaisang alone in the house. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear you better not play your music,” Jiang Cheng said, walking to the car.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning calmly, “Driver picks the music.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But my head hurts,” he lied.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang closed the door behind them and took a deep breath. Just because they were both acting weird didn’t mean he would get to kiss Zixuan again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was thoroughly trying to avoid Huaisang for just a few minutes so he could get his thoughts in order. He had walked to Huaisang’s room before all of his friends had even left. He just needed a second to talk himself out of doing anything rash. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Huaisang walked into his room not long after him. A second was not long enough to pull himself together. Not a single thought had been sorted through yet.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There were far too many thoughts. All the times he had thought about that night, wondering what the fuck would have happened if they hadn’t come to their senses. How far would it have gone? When would they have stopped?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had thought about the possibilities far too often this last month. You never would have guessed with the way he was able to keep things normal between him and Huaisang. Like he really had pushed that night to the side. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was confused about how often he thought about it, and wondered about what could have happened. It was impossible to ignore it all.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was in the same boat as him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no way Huaisang was going to miss an opportunity to kiss Zixuan again. Not if it presented itself again. Of course he had also considered what could have happened, wondered how far they would have gotten. But none of it mattered. If they only kissed again, at least once, to any extent, he would be okay with it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was just the slightest pause; calculating, reassuring.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They both reached out for each other near simultaneously, desperate to feel each other’s lips again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was determined to not fucking ruin it like last time. They wouldn’t have stopped so fast if he hadn’t made a sound.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang thought it was his fault though, for pushing a little too far and making everything so much more awkward than it needed to be.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t want to crash back to reality again.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They pushed off each other’s outer robes so they wouldn’t get in the way, make things so difficult. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s hands learned more of Huaisang’s body, and for the briefest moment Huaisang thought he was going to lose his mind. Literally what the hell was happening?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>In what universe would Jin Zixuan kiss Nie Huaisang?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully this one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was trying to keep some shred of level headedness at this moment. He wanted to make Zixuan feel good, not the other way around, especially if he was still trying to figure things out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So shouldn’t he be the one trying to figure out what Zixuan wanted?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well it seemed Zixuan knew what he wanted?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They had stumbled their way back towards the bed, this time Zixuan hovered over Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When did that happen?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Literally when did they get here?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When did Zixuan flip them over? Wasn’t Huaisang just-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang broke from the kiss for a hot second; he was a little confused and a lot breathless. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t paying attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or rather, there was too much happening at once for him to process it fast enough. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t even realized that his top was open and was slipping from his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he breathed out and reached up for Zixuan. This was very bad for Huaisang. He absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> have turned down the opportunity to do this with Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wrapped his arms around him and pulled him as close as he could get. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan really didn’t care. Not at the moment anyways. It was exciting. Which was weird. This was never exciting for him. Kissing someone. Touching someone… It wasn’t fun. It was just… whatever.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kissing Huaisang? Kissing Huaisang shouldn’t have been so exciting that he was in this position right now. Pressed against him. Breathless. Wanting more, whatever the fuck that even meant.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what any of it meant. He figured he could have a crisis trying to understand later. Right now he was far too preoccupied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t even sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was doing but he shifted just slightly and froze.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pushed himself up a bit, briefly glancing at the space between them. He really hadn’t anticipated that Huaisang would get hard from this… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his mouth like he was going to say something but no words came out. “I-” What did he think he was going to say? He didn’t know if it was wrong and if he had to apologize. He didn’t know if he messed up. He didn’t know if Huaisang wanted him to stop. “.... Huaisang-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Huaisang pulled him back down, “It’s fine,” he kissed him softly, cupping his face. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pulled away slightly, “A-are you sure? I can, uhm-” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Can what? Do something about it?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it,” Huaisang muttered against his lips, “Just kiss me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s chest tightened at the words but he didn’t make a move at first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s thumb brushed against Zixuan’s cheek… He didn’t want to crash back to reality yet. He asked quietly, “Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hadn’t hesitated because he didn’t want to kiss him. He was thinking. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking maybe he wouldn’t have minded if Huaisang asked him to help him get off…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan kissed Huaisang back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan is finally processing</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>check his temp</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Chapter 40</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Where were you,” Zixun questioned Zixuan. “It was our big dinner tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Zixuan continued looking in the refrigerator for something to eat. “My parents already knew I wasn’t coming so why do you care?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixun leaned against the counter. “It doesn’t seem fair that we’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> expected to clear our schedule for these things, except for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan closed the refrigerator and stared at Zixun. He had enough on his mind right now, he did not have the patience for this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> there for everything my dad asks me to be present for. I missed </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So what?” Guangyao walked in with an empty cup and paused when he saw the looks on Zixun and Zixuan’s faces. “If you absolutely must know, Nie Mingjue asked me to stay for dinner. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nie Mingjue</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Guangshan would never turn down an invite of any kind from their family. Especially Nie Mingjue. Within a few years he would be taking over as Clan Leader and friendship was the only thing they had going between their two clans at the moment. A large part of that was thanks to Zixuan and Guangyao.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you the one who’s friends with Mingjue,” Zixun asked Guangyao. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t pull me into this,” he walked by them both. “Zixuan’s friends with Huaisang,” he added anyway. “They </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>live together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixun scoffed. “Nie Huaisang-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you’re going to say, you should keep to yourself,” Zixuan warned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling’s dog ran into the kitchen, barreling into Zixun. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid </span>
  </em>
  <span>dog,” Zixun grumbled, reaching for the dog’s collar.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixun reached for the collar again anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan snapped his fingers and it ran to his side and sat down obediently.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling ran into the kitchen, “Fairy,” he called, the dog’s ears perked but didn’t move from Zixuan’s side. Jin Ling looked around the room. “What’s wrong with all of you,” he asked quite loudly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to bed,” they all said in unison. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling rolled his eyes. “It’s 9; I’m not a child,” he scoffed. “C’mon Fairy, no more snacks,” he turned and walked out. The dog looked up expectantly at Zixuan. He tossed a small pretzel in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Fairy caught it and scampered after Jin Ling.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I make my food in peace now,” Zixuan asked. Zixun rolled his eyes and turned to leave. “Y’know you can always ask my dad to skip out on dinner if you have other plans,” he called. Not that Guangshan would let him do that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao dumped some baby carrots into a bowl. “He had a date,” he bit into one. “No idea who would want that,” he muttered to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan snorted in amusement and started assembling his late night snack. “Oh,” he turned around. “Mingjue asked me to tell you that he and Lan Xichen are going to Baling next weekend if you wanted to go with them still?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao silently cursed himself. He knew he was forgetting something. He forgot to text </span>
  <em>
    <span>both </span>
  </em>
  <span> of them back. “Thank you.” They had only been texting nearly everyday in their group chat for the past week. How did he forget to actually answer them?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>yes or no</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>still proud</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>eat well king²</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. "Pretty Normal"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Mianmian sighed. It was pretty dark on the road and by habit she was leaning forward slightly like it would allow her to see better. “She’s cute, and if she brings me food one more time, I’m going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to ask her out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you should,” Zixuan replied. “Maybe you should bring her something one day,” he offered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The best suggestion yet,” Mianmian replied. “I think that’s a great idea. But I have no idea what she likes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smirked, “You just told me about like seven different things she’s learned to bake in the last year. Why not make her one of those? What about those muffins-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, okay, okay,” she nodded. “I’ll do that for Monday. What about you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you up to lately? Are you still seeing Zhang Yu?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled his eyes, “I’m not seeing Zhang Yu.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine, sleeping with her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shrugged. “I don’t know how to answer that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” No response. “No?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Uhm… I mean yes but…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian hummed. “But sorta no?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s complicated.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’s it complicated now? Do you like her?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No that hasn’t changed,” Zixuan stared out the windshield tiredly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Mianmian thought. “Is it not easy anymore?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had told Mianmian once that he didn’t mind meeting up with Zhang Yu every so often because it was easier with her over others. Zhang Yu never bothered him after. Never expected anything from him. Never wanted anything from him any other time.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that…” Zixuan glanced at her. He wasn’t going to say anything but for a split second he did consider it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it have to do with those dreams?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Zixuan looked forward quickly. “They’re not dreams.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Thoughts</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Mianmian corrected. “Because I’ve done some more thinking about that since we last talked about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god.” She was referring to Zixuan wondering about kissing Huaisang. He had never mentioned Huaisang by name though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had asked before freshman year what she thought it meant to think about a friend like that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Before he had asked Huaisang to kiss him, she had asked Zixuan if he was still bothered by it. That feeling hadn’t gone away despite having kissed him since.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that you should definitely just do it,” Mianmian said.  “What do you have to lose, y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan cleared his throat. “I… Already did that,” he informed her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, no, hold on,” Mianmian pulled over and turned her hazards on. She faced him, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he said slowly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m relieved it wasn’t me-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” Zixuan laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mianmian waved her hands, “I was scared for </span>
  <em>
    <span>two seconds,</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay,” she laughed. “Can I know who it was now? What happened? What’d they say?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, no,” Zixuan gave her a pointed look. “No, no. I can’t tell you that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She gasped, “So I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> know them,” she hit his shoulder. She paused, “Oh my god it was Yanli, wasn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like them?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So that’s it? It ended with the kiss?” Mianmian asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Zixuan said dully. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Was it weird after?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Zixuan nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it weird now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed. “No, it’s pretty normal.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Origin of Wen Ning's Second Room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">WHERE </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan left Wen Qing’s feeling great. He found an apartment that was quite big, pretty nice, and not </span>
  <em>
    <span>overly</span>
  </em>
  <span> expensive. If he had a roommate. So he went straight to Wen Ning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Wen Ning clicked through. “Wait, I love this.” He gasped. “There’s a bathtub?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Oh and look at everything the building has,” he clicked the separate tab he had waiting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to live here,” Wen Ning deadpanned. “Can I live here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Zixuan let out a laugh, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span> be my roommate,” he clasped his hands together to beg. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, I’m excited,” Wen Ning continued looking through pictures. “And you’ve already seen it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have! Do you want to see it first before we do anything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I take your word for it. But also yes so I can get a sense of space in the rooms.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Zixuan pulled out his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s three rooms though,” Wen Ning pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan put his phone back down, “Yeah, so,” he sighed. “I had some ideas about that.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning listened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>fingers crossed</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice,” Guangyao looked up from where Zixuan’s laptop sat on his desk. “Is this why you decided to not live on campus?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan leaned against the wall beside him. “I was trying to find something that I thought Dad would say yes to if I showed him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m not sure about that,” Guangyao replied. “But it is nice. Are you looking for my opinion on if you should ask?” He wasn’t really sure why Zixuan asked him to come to his room between studying. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I’m asking if you want to move out with me,” Zixuan answered. “There’s three rooms,” he pointed out, “And my friend Wen Ning would split on rent. He’d be quiet if you were working on assignments. He isn’t messy. He’s really nice and he’s fine not having people over if you don’t want anyo-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-You want me to move out with you?” Guangyao stopped him. Zixuan wanted to leave Carp Tower? He wanted Guangyao to go with him?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Zixuan confirmed. “We can go to Dad together about it. We can’t stay here, Guangyao.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t move out,” Guangyao replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you sick of being here,” Zixuan asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but I can’t just move out,” Guangyao told him. “... You don’t understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So help me,” Zixuan surprised him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao sighed. “I only </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> got Father to let me live on campus for next semester. And that’s because I asked Xichen </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> Mingjue to say something to him. I can’t just not do that now that he’s finally agreed.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The summer-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I come back here,” Guangyao stopped him. “I have to come back here. I need to be here. You can leave,” he shrugged. “Maybe they’d be upset. But you can leave, and you can always come back. Despite the reputation I have built, despite the connections I’ve made, if I ask to go, they would gladly let it happen. They’d tell people that I left them behind. And then they can burn my bridges </span>
  <em>
    <span>for</span>
  </em>
  <span> me. They would never take me back.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could </span>
  <em>
    <span>beg</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and while I’m sure Madam Jin would enjoy that, they wouldn’t take me back. I could </span>
  <em>
    <span>offer </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be humiliated in the courtyard if it meant they would take me back, and they would </span>
  <em>
    <span>absolutely </span>
  </em>
  <span>tie me up and throw me out there… before pushing me right back out again… Zixuan, if I leave, I don’t ever come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But…” Zixuan stopped himself. He hadn’t considered it before and Guangyao never expected him to. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re meant to be Clan Leader,” Guangyao continued. “Realistically, if you needed to step up tomorrow, you have all the tools to do so. You can walk away from all of this, and if the time came, you would be welcomed back </span>
  <em>
    <span>instantly</span>
  </em>
  <span> if you wanted to take over. But I already have to fight constantly if I want to stay here, like this. I can’t walk away, in </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> capacity, I would never be allowed to come back, and definitely not as Clan Leader, even if you did decline that,” he laughed dryly. “We are not the same, Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t let that happen,” Zixuan replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate that. But at this current point in time, you have absolutely no say in that.” Guangyao stood up. “And I appreciate the offer. If our father wasn’t a piece of shit then I probably would take you up on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hated that Guangyao was right. He might have been able to influence a lot of how Guangyao has been treated lately, but he couldn’t stop Guangshan from throwing him out on his ass. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure he could actually do anything to stop that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He gave Guangyao an out, but it meant out of everything. Of course Guangyao would turn down the offer.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was still going to try and get the okay to move out from his dad. If Guangyao wasn’t going to live with him, maybe he could still have a place for him to go if he needed it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Besides, he needed to get out of here too.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Guangshan said to Zixuan just a few days later. It was probably the fifth time he said ‘no’ in this one conversation alone. He turned down every reason Zixuan threw at him for why he should be allowed to leave Carp Tower. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan pressed. He hadn’t given any reasons besides the standard ‘I said no’.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You are not living in Greater Cloud Recesses,” Guangshan said sternly. “There’s more opportunity for you </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Have you even considered how your mother would feel about this?” He sent off a quick text. Undoubtedly asking her to come to the home office.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad, please,” Zixuan sighed. “I’d rather you and I talk about this first.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We did, and my answer is no. If you won’t listen to me-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin walked in, her face turning to one of worry when she saw Zixuan sitting there looking upset as all hell. “What’s going?” She walked in and patted Zixuan’s head, looking down at him. “Is everything okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything is fine, Mom,” Zixuan replied.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan turned the laptop to his wife. “Zixuan wants to move out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What,” Madam Jin looked at Zixuan in surprise. “You want to leave?” She leaned forward to look at the laptop screen. She read the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>Greater Cloud Recesses</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the look Zixuan received was a look of hurt. “You want to leave </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lanling</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“For a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A </span>
  <em>
    <span>bit</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she repeated. “How long is a bit?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” she shook her head. She looked at Guangshan. “Did you tell him he couldn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did,” he folded his hands. “He seems to have it in his head that he’s going anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am going anyways,” Zixuan replied. “I already set everything up with Wen Ning.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Madam Jin looked at him in disbelief. “Guangshan-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” Guangshan leaned forward. “You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> moving to Greater Cloud Recesses.” He considered the conversation he had with Guangyao just last week about living on campus. “What are you and Guangyao planning?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Guangyao</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Zixuan and Madam Jin questioned at the same time. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing?” Zixuan did not know how his dad tied Guangyao into this issue. He hadn’t even mentioned his name. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin picked up the phone on Guangshan’s desk and called Guangyao to demand he come instantly. “I can’t believe this,” she paced. “This is your fault,” she said to Guangshan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>My </span>
  </em>
  <span>fault?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There is no reason to get Guangyao involved in this,” Zixuan pointed out. Guangyao walked in just a moment later. “He has </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do with this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao looked between them all cautiously. “With?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know anything about this,” Guangshan asked. “About Zixuan asking to move to Greater Cloud Recesses a week after </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>asked to move to UCR? What are you two planning?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao turned to Zixuan, a perfect face of confusion. “You want to leave Carp Tower,” he asked him. “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed, “Dad. He has nothing to do with this. I have no idea what you even think we’d be up to? Just keep him out of this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you talk him into this,” Madam Jin snapped at Guangyao. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I had no idea,” Guangyao replied calmly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So you both just decided to leave at the same time,” Madam Jin asked in disbelief. “I don’t believe that one bit.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunate, because that was the actual truth.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stood up and started walking Guangyao back towards the door, “It’s fine, just go,” he assured him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao left and Zixuan turned back to his parents. “Don’t call him back in here. He has nothing to do with my decision to leave. I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>hoping</span>
  </em>
  <span> you’d agree to let me go without having </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I thought you’d appreciate the list of reasons why this would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>for me. I thought you’d appreciate that I was trying to show that I am fully capable of taking care of myself if I need to. You act like because I’m leaving, I’ll never be back. I can still be here for your dinners, and parties, and meetings. Which, might I point out, have become centralized around the Greater Cloud Recesses area now that you’re President of the University.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> you can take care of yourself,” Madam Jin stopped him. “But you don’t have to-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-But I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to, Mom. I want just a little bit of freedom to do those things. We had to sit down and talk when you found out from the staff that I started doing my own laundry; that didn’t need to happen,” Zixuan pointed out. “I am 20 years old, I want to be able to do my own laundry. Make my own meals. I want to spend a little time with the friends I barely saw growing up, before I can't anymore. And if it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>consolation, Jiang Yanli also lives in Greater Cloud Recesses.” Might as well throw that in there now that his mother was in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Fengmian might know that Yanli has a girlfriend but clearly Madam Yu never found out, otherwise Zixuan’s own mother would have talked to him about it already.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>3bros</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>rich daddy prevails</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>yanli, crown her</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Each room has their own key too?” Wen Ning asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Guess so,” Zixuan shrugged. “This one is for your room,” he passed him a key.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They had decided to move all of their things in at once before actually separating everything. They didn’t have a whole lot that they brought with them though. They were going to spend the next week deciding what they wanted to do with the space. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning shuffled off to his room and unlocked the door, with a tad bit of difficulty but managed. He walked into the room and dropped the key onto the dresser. He smiled at the room and went to go grab a box. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan unlocked his door and left the key on top of the door frame. He didn’t ever plan on locking the door if he wasn’t home. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The room had a large window off to the side with a wide ledge which would be great to put some plants on. And if he got the right shelving unit, he could have a nice little display just beside it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span> “Zixuan,” Wen Ning called slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He poked his head out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Wen Ning looked at him with wide eyes. “I’m locked out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning didn’t break eye contact while he jiggled the door handle. “The key is inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re kidding…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>swearing zixuan to secrecy</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>different day</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Not In The Books.... Literally.... Huaixuan was not in the books-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Wen Ning left with Jiang Cheng for the night. Probably wouldn’t be back until tomorrow afternoon with the way they were talking; Anime Night. This week was Jiang Cheng’s apartment. Next week would be Wen Ning’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>… So of course Huaisang was going to sleepover. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had both intended on getting tipsy but had barely had enough to drink to really feel anything at all by the time they were alone. The alcohol made it easier to dismiss their personal feelings. Even if it was just a </span>
  <em>
    <span>sip</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They clung to that as their own mental safety net that acted most like a wall, keeping their feelings locked away entirely while they were together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had only kissed a few times by now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had never told Huaisang that if he needed him to get off, he was fine helping out. He was more than fine helping him… He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So when they crawled onto the bed ‘to go to sleep’, Zixuan wasn’t sure if Huaisang was going to try anything despite how he had been acting all day. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> this time that it wasn’t in his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tended to slip his finger into the front of Zixuan’s outer robes to ‘straighten’ it out, though it never needed to be fixed. He would tug the fabric just slightly and glance up at Zixuan, bite back a smile and go back to whatever he was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Any time he did that, without fail, that night Huaisang would kiss him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only a couple times did Zixuan notice Huaisang getting too close and stopped him before he could. Especially if other people were going to be around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But today he definitely did not intend on stopping Huaisang if he decided to do that now. Now that the guys left. Now that they were undoubtedly alone.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan folded his legs and scrolled through his phone, waiting. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had plugged his phone onto the other side of the bed but didn’t bother lying down either. He looked particularly tiny sitting beside Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was overly aware that Huaisang was watching him but he didn’t dare look up. He was just going to wait and see-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pouted. He wanted Zixuan to pay attention to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He reached out nonchalantly and pulled the fabric that had </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>loosened this time. Zixuan glanced down at Huaisang’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The eye contact was brief. Barely a moment of hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned forward as Huaisang pulled Zixuan in by his shirt to kiss him, the taste of liquor faint but still there.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them could fully even recall the last time they had kissed. Not that it was that long ago. It was quite recent actually. They were just so utterly drunk at the last Monday Movie Night that they weren’t even sure they didn’t start making out in front of their friends when they woke up the next morning. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>first</span>
  </em>
  <span> time they had ever spoken to each other about any of this, they were that concerned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But no one said anything, and if anyone was going to open their mouth about it, Jiang Cheng most definitely would have. So they must’ve been in the clear. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Which was good for them, because their friends probably wouldn’t believe them if they said it was just for fun. They were too close for the others to not think something was up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They never spoke about this otherwise. They never brought it up after the fact. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang always had trouble processing that of all the people he could be sneaking around with, it was this </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> person. The one person he would actually do anything for, no questions asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t been able to tell </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>; the only person he thought he could talk to about this would have been Zixuan. And he just couldn’t do that. They had already agreed to never discuss it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So he kept it all to himself. The time they ran off to make out in the car at the bar. The time Mingjue had come home and they almost hadn’t heard him coming down the hall; Huaisang’s door open. The time they were completely wasted and woke up half undressed, the sheets tangled around them. The times they kissed goodnight.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He kept it all to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The way he would keep this to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang held Zixuan’s face, sitting up straighter. Zixuan knew what he was doing. He did this before. He was going to shift up and make himself taller. So he could get onto his lap, and push him back. So he could be on top of Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan brushed Huaisang’s hair over his shoulder and, to Huaisang’s surprise, Zixuan pulled his own move on him. He just kept kissing Huaisang, and feeling Huaisang like it was nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But for Huaisang it was everything.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang couldn’t do much more but splay his hands across Zixuan’s back. He wanted to be stuck in this moment. It kind of felt like that in a way. In the best way possible.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hadn’t even realized that after a while Zixuan had gently laid him back, too distracted by how he felt about the whole situation that he didn’t have time to actually process any of it… Again…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan kissed his lips, his neck, his chest. The weight of Zixuan’s body against his own… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Frankly he was not used to this happening to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was used to doing this to someone else, not having it done to him. Something to do with him being tinier, according to everyone he had ever been with.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But christ, he could get used to this. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure how much time had passed but he was already hard. Which was a problem. Because he didn’t want Zixuan to stop. He was actively trying to be quiet, a small attempt to keep them from being pulled back into reality. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not yet. He didn’t want this to end. But it was a lot to take in though and he was struggling to stay silent. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was ready to turn his entire back to any other man if it meant Zixuan would kiss him like this again. Hold him like this again. Touch him like this. He didn’t need anything else but </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Truthfully, Huaisang hadn’t even considered touching another man after their second kiss. But this? Yeah that could become pretty permanent with how things were going. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Huaisang exhaled and brought Zixuan’s lips back to his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a brief moment he was jealous of any girl that had ever slept with Zixuan. He wished he had been the one getting to see Zixuan like this all this time instead. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Zixuan wasn’t really like this with them. He wasn’t so eager to either feel or please. Not to this degree. And he never thought about doing anything with any sort of excitement with anyone in particular before he thought about Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He sure as hell never felt like this before Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Everything else was going through the motions. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Trying</span>
  </em>
  <span> to feel what he had been told he should feel.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was actually fun. This was exciting. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This </span>
  </em>
  <span>was worth it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang moaned with the movement of Zixuan’s hips, breaking from the kiss. He gasped almost silently in surprise as Zixuan brushed his lips briefly over Huaisang’s neck, moving his hips down again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wrapped his arms around him, hands balling into fists against his back as Zixuan kept moving. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Oh god, oh god, oh god. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><span>What the fuck, </span><em><span>what the</span></em> <em><span>fuck</span></em><span>?</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no way. There was no way that Zixuan was doing this right now. Absolutely no way.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Of course reality begged to differ. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t like this was an accidental brush. Not in the least.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wait wait wait wait wait, oh god wait-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” he groaned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was going to come faster than he’s ever in his life at this rate. Just the sheer thought that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span> was doing this, to </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>? That alone was... </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Huaisang gasped. He didn’t want him to stop. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> much wanted him to keep going. But he also wasn’t entirely sure Zixuan knew what exactly was about to happen. “Zixuan, I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally </span>
  </em>
  <span>come,” Huaisang announced without hesitation. “A lot. If you don’t stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Yeah? I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying</span>
  </em>
  <span> t- Huaisang that’s the point.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yup. Death was Huaisang’s fate.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang groaned and dropped his head back again for a moment. Fuck, just the idea of Zixuan actively trying was enough to bring him close. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Zixuan was actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to-? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well fuck... If that’s what he wanted…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is this real life</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sat back, still straddling Huaisang’s hips; he involuntarily whined at the friction-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pushed his hair over his shoulder, “I can st-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>! God, no, don’t stop,” Huaisang was quick to scramble up to kiss Zixuan again himself to make a point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan took Huaisang back up into his arms, deepening the kiss like they hadn’t missed a beat. He felt Huaisang grip his hips, trying to get him to move again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The whole purpose of this was to make Huaisang feel good so of course he did what Huaisang wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The weight of Zixuan on top of him? The way he rocked his hips down into Huaisang’s? It was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was no way Zixuan was grinding against him like this. There was no way he was doing this. There was no way he was just doing this for fun. Not with Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Absolute denial. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Nope. No way.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was never in the books. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang balled his fists around the fabric of Zixuan’s clothing as his pace quickened, his back now pressed against the mattress again. “Oh my god,” he panted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This just wasn’t fair. They weren’t even fucking and Huaisang felt like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>? What was he supposed to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> they ever...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang couldn’t help but roll his hips to meet Zixuan’s, desperation taking over.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan could tell Huaisang was close the more whined. It was… encouraging- just another surprise to him tonight. He didn’t know why he was so determined, but god… It was working against him at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As determined as he was to have Huaisang come, he was just as determined to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> himself. This wasn’t about him. He couldn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang groaned and arched into Zixuan, holding onto him tightly before falling back.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them knew what to do so they kind of stared at each other in surprise, collecting themselves. “Oh my god,” Huaisang said breathlessly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the fuck just happened?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan blinked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was exactly what he wanted to happen but he didn’t know what to do now that it had. He breathed out heavily through his nose and took in the sight of Huaisang. He couldn’t recall having undone Huaisang’s shirt but obviously had.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan carefully reached out and pulled it back over his shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang watched Zixuan curiously; he had been shamelessly touching Huaisang through the night but now was careful to make any contact as he pulled the fabric neatly together. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“...Okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded, “Processing.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn.” Zixuan crawled off of Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang noticed. Of course Huaisang noticed. Zixuan </span>
  <em>
    <span>noticed</span>
  </em>
  <span> that Huaisang noticed. And he saw where Huaisang’s mind was going. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan.” He had just helped Huaisang come. Huaisang was </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> than willing to help Zixuan too.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Zixuan didn’t want that. At all. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned over him to pick up Huaisang’s phone and placed it in his hand. “You pick something to watch.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want anything,” he pushed himself off the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... A drink… Or five…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So a bottle,” he chuckled and went to leave for the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang called out before he reached the hall, “Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang cleared his throat. “Can I borrow some clothes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan nodded and quickly left the room. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I need a drink, I need a drink, I need a drink</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he quickly opened another bottle and drank straight from it. He did his absolute best to ignore his own hard on with whatever he could. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled some leftover noodles out and tossed them into the microwave. He needed to shove </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>into his face to pretend that didn’t just happen. At least the part that he enjoyed it as much as he did.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He took another swig before wandering back to his room to give Huaisang the bottle. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hadn’t yet gotten back into the bed by the time Zixuan eventually made his way back. He had cleaned up in the bathroom and walked in just a moment before Zixuan had. “Zixuan-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan held out the bottle for Huaisang; he wasn’t going to let Huaisang try to offer anything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was hesitant as he took it, “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you pick something?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang held the bottle close. He shook his head. “I was going to look while making popcorn.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make it,” he turned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang grabbed his hand. “Wait, wait…” He knew they didn’t talk about these things but, “Why did you, uhm,” he motioned over his shoulder at the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shrugged, “I wanted to help…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>please answer</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan crouched down in the kitchen. He did it to stop himself from running out the door. This was fine. It was all fine. There was no reason to panic. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I liked it, Huaisang liked it, this is fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought to himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is fine, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It </span>
  </em>
  <span>doesn’t</span>
  <em>
    <span> mean anything.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>By the time he had rapidly consumed the noodles while making some popcorn, Huaisang was already under the blankets, holding his phone above his face. He sat up when Zixuan put the massive bowl of popcorn on the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had popped two bags, in an added attempt to give himself more time to talk some sense into himself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good god,” Huaisang chuckled at the bowl of popcorn. He leaned forward to bunch up the blankets for the phone to lean against. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stuck with the popcorn, and Huaisang mostly stuck to drinking.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Half way through the movie Zixuan could feel Huaisang’s eyes on him as he scrolled through Twitter. He reached out to push the bottom of the bottle up slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang lifted it to his lips to drink from before turning his eyes back to the screen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>yanli is looking</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Distractions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Personally Huaisang loved having Zixuan living in Greater Cloud Recesses. But part of him hated it too. He felt… upset about everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When was this whole friends-with-benefits thing going to end for them? Were they even going to talk about it? They had yet to have an actual conversation about what they were doing. That was completely on the both of them. Neither of them spoke up. They didn’t know how to start that conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was okay with </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> talking about it, obviously, otherwise he would have initiated it himself... but at the same time… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He called Zixuan. Not to talk, but to distract him. “Are you sad?” Zixuan had asked over the phone when Huaisang didn’t say much. Huaisang listened to the sound of the TV fading as Zixuan walked to his room. “Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Distract me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed to himself. “Do you want to go to the lookout?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So Zixuan was on his way, while Huaisang sat wrapped up in his favorite blanket outside, his eyes closed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe he should have called Jiang Cheng instead. He wasn’t remotely involved in the reasons Huaisang was upset. Not like Zixuan was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan slowed to a stop along the curb.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>… But Zixuan knew how to make him feel better. He always did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He listened to Huaisang, even when he had nothing to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang walked up to the car, pulling himself in tiredly. He looked at Zixuan and stopped. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was dressed so casually, back in the dark clothes that Huaisang hadn’t seen in awhile. To make it worse, his hair was braided. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A distraction in</span>
  <em>
    <span>deed</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he should have called Jiang Cheng; Huaisang buckled in. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t say anything but poked around on the touch screen until he found Connected Devices. He clicked Huaisang’s name, his phone having been long preprogrammed to connect to the car’s bluetooth. “Whatever you want,” he said as he pulled away from the curb. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say that,” <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/692BZmGiyzlT3Cp10d8gaS?si=98b6a73218514760">Huaisang opened up his music</a> anyways. “I’ll play showtunes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan grinned, “That’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang scrolled through his playlist to play the ones he knew Zixuan liked. There were a handful of songs that Huaisang always started with when Zixuan let him connect his phone because he knew the ones he liked the most. The Reynolds Pamphlet from Hamilton seemed like a good one to start with this time. But just to be sure he made sure The Room Where It Happens followed after. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan immediately turned the volume up loud. He was always convinced he wasn’t going to like it when Huaisang tried to show him songs from any and every musical, but he was usually wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t mind even if he came across songs he didn’t care for. They listened to Huaisang’s playlist, Huaisang occasionally muttering the lyrics to himself, as Zixuan drove up the mountain towards the lookout. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was another car parked off to the side; Zixuan backed in away from them. “Why are you backing in?” Huaisang asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t say anything but popped open his trunk and turned the car off. “Come on,” he motioned to Huaisang to follow him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang jumped out quickly, glancing at the car to the side. He knew him. From class and clan business. It was Lan Wangji. They both nodded at each other in acknowledgement after making eye contact. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lan Wangji closed his eyes again and sat in silence. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan folded his back seats to make more room. “Here,” he said as he fixed the layers of comforters and some pillows he had laid out. “We’ll sit here, and not talk about it, while you play your music.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned. “This is really nice,” he pouted and crawled in, stretching his blanket over his legs. He almost wanted to cry. This was one hell of a way to experience the lookout. It was a little cold but it honestly didn’t matter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan slid in on his side, and hugged one of the pillows focusing his attention on his phone so Huaisang didn’t feel like he needed to talk about whatever was on his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was going to lose it. This gesture was not abnormal, but the way he was looking at Zixuan laying there minding his business definitely was. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang turned his attention back to his phone and pressed play on his music, letting the blankets and pillows surround him, and effectively keeping Zixuan out of his view. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t mind not talking like this. He just liked Huaisang’s presence. He wasn’t sure what was bothering him but he hoped that if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to talk about it, that he could help with whatever it was. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Until then, he was just going to lay here next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t need to look to know the songs Zixuan liked. From his peripheral he saw him moving his feet along and heard a quiet hum.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was cute. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wanted to talk to Zixuan. Now didn’t seem like the right moment. He didn’t want to ruin anything. Not just the moment, but everything. Maybe that’s why the both of them had worked so hard in equal parts to avoid having this discussion. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There must be a right moment to bring it up though, right? He would wait for it. Whenever it was. He just knew it was not tonight. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan quietly, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s a pity… I’m as pretty-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pushed the pillows down and watched Zixuan with piqued interest. Zixuan hummed and kept moving his feet along with the words of the song. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan suddenly looked up and shouted, “</span>
  <em>
    <span><a href="https://t.co/JXO60ePArl?amp=1">Whywouldafellowwantagirllikeher!</a> A girl who’s merely lovely?! Whycan’tafelloweveronceprefer, a girl who’s merely me?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang burst out laughing, “You told me you hated that song.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan groaned and rolled onto his back, bending his knees. “I do, but it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> fucking catchy... Truly, what’s the matter with the man,” he pressed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang rolled his eyes and pulled his blanket back over his shoulder, looking out the car again. Zixuan went back to being silent, occasionally swaying his knees back and forth. Eventually he put his phone down and also looked out over the landscape. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was getting a bit cold so he had to shuffle closer towards Huaisang until he was able to pull one of the comforters over him. Huaisang pretended not to notice.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s first mistake was closing his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He dozed off for a little while but not too long. The sound of Huaisang’s music is what slowly woke him up enough to pick up his phone again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t fall asleep if he had to drive later. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t really processing anything that was coming across his screen. It was the high pitch screaming that came from Huaisang’s phone that made him lurch. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s reaction caused Huaisang himself to jump despite knowing that the scream was coming. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>same time</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>d i f f e r e n t</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was still laughing internally.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled onto his stomach and groaned. “I hate that song. It’s official. Add it to the list.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang snorted and tilted his head, “You’ve never reacted to this song before,” he pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’ll never again,” he tucked his head into the crook of his arm. “But know that I hate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang gave himself just a couple more minutes. He wasn’t feeling as bad as he was at the beginning of the night. And he was glad he called Zixuan. Maybe next time he’ll actually sit down and talk to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He looked down at Zixuan, sleeping on his belly. He passed out so fast, no doubt exhausted. Huaisang settled down beside him. “Zixuan.” No response. He reached out and rubbed Zixuan’s back. “Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned his head, resting his cheek on his arm. “Where?” He hadn’t opened his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Take me home,” Huaisang replied. “You need to sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you still upset?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not so much,” Huaisang shook his head. “C’mon,” he sat up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pushed himself up and looked around sleepily. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he rubbed his face. “No offense,” he slid out of the car. “I might need to blast my music to wake up.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you want,” Huaisang replied.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned the car on. He sat partially in the car as he searched for a song that would wake him up. Until he heard a familiar beat coming from his speakers. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s phone had automatically reconnected. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned it up even louder.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laughed out loud as he started folding everything. It was pure chance that the song playing was another of Zixuan’s favorites. The timing was impeccable. “You’re an idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“God tier,” Zixuan said, pushing the back seats into place again. “Can’t be helped.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well I can dance with you honey</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you think it’s funny</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sang dramatically.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I can chat with you baby</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Flirt a little maybe</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang deemed him sleep deprived as he shut the trunk of the car. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Take it easy,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Zixuan pointed to him, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Better slow down boy, that’s no way to go-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Together and rather obnoxiously, “</span>
  <em>
    <span><a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/64DxdXTNY58CVu2j5QjCIk?si=63abad57521a47a8">Does your mother know?</a>!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hopped into the passenger seat and, followed by Zixuan who was singing word for word, dancing in the driver’s seat as he started driving. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When the song ended, Huaisang connected Zixuan’s phone instead. He could see that he was tired, and it was only fair to have him pick the music. “Get your revenge for the scream,” Huaisang joked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, in that case,” Zixuan picked up his phone while they sat at a redlight. He looked for Wen Ning’s playlist and looked for </span>
  <em>
    <span>specifically</span>
  </em>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no,” Huaisang muttered as the song started. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate it-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>must be drinking</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    <strong>[i am unaware of how to add a gif on ao3 but my dude is dancing in that gif but you can see it <a href="https://twitter.com/i/status/1330342035069538309">here</a>, bonus points if you actually know the gif/video</strong>
  </span>
  <span>
    <strong>]</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wen nings music taste is exquisite leave him alone</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>“I’m here,” Huaisang sang as he swung open Wen Ning’s apartment door. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pushed himself away from the counter. “You’re late. He went to work, but if you need to get the report done today you can just stop by Lotus Root.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew I was late,” he clicked his tongue. “I’m in no rush though,” he left his bag by the front door. He smiled, “What’s up?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it too early to day drink,” Zixuan asked honestly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Huaisang pursed his lips. “I mean it’s only like what, 1?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s almost 2.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well then, I mean, no?” Huaisang leaned against the counter. “But, maybe don’t?” Zixuan glanced at him sadly. “You just… seem upset.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan mumbled, “Just looking for a distraction.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Huaisang spoke, “I still wouldn’t, Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan agreed. He didn’t want to bore Huaisang the details of the phone call he just had with Guangyao. Not yet anyways. “Maybe I’ll take a nap.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Huaisang frowned. “A nap might be nice.” He perked up, “Come on,” he took Zixuan’s hand and dragged him to the couch. “You sat with me last week, this time it’s my turn!” He lied down, pulling Zixuan on top of him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Had it been anyone else, Zixuan would not have lied down. He didn’t like being touched this much by other people. It was different with Huaisang though; it always had been. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It could be comforting sometimes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>More than he knew it should have been.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And right now? Lying between his legs, Huaisang holding him to his chest, and slowly running his fingers through his hair? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t care about the phone call right now. He had no control over the situation. But he had control over this moment and whether or not he was present for it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hugged Huaisang close.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wuxian finally answers</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>no exciting life updates BUT</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Things Aren't The Greatest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>A misdemeanor</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Madam Yu screamed. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Two</span>
  </em>
  <span> misdemeanors. Are you fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>kidding</span>
  </em>
  <span> Wei Wuxian?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Fengmian sat with his arms crossed. The disappointment was still clear on his face despite his silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian had nothing to say. Frankly he was hoping they’d never find out, but naturally their connections and loyalty in Yunmeng would not grant Wuxian that luxury. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not paying this,” she snapped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Wuxian mumbled. “I’m paying for them.” Whoever turned him in to them, didn’t bother mentioning the infraction he got between the misdemeanors…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was nice of them, he guessed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wuxian,” Fengmian started, much more calmly than Madam Yu who practically had fire in her eyes. “We just want to know what’s going on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian weighed his options. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to Fengmian. And definitely not in front of the witch. “Nothing,” he shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Humiliating</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Madam Yu hissed. “Absolutely humiliating getting this call,” she paced. “Jiang Cheng would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No, he wouldn’t. She was right on that one. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian didn’t know what to say to them. They wouldn’t really care anyways. At the end of the day, even Fengmian was concerned with their image rather than what was going on. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wuxian,” Fengmian sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just got a little too drunk,” he replied. “It won’t happen again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Bullshit,” Madam Yu spat, “He’s nothing but trouble,” she looked to Fengmian. “I tell you this </span>
  <em>
    <span>repeatedly</span>
  </em>
  <span> and you still don’t listen to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, “Ziyuan… Please-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t, I can’t,” she shook her head and stormed out of the room. She was supposed to go to dinner with some of her old friends. She couldn’t lose her temper beforehand. This absolutely had to wait. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Fengmian sighed and looked back to Wuxian who was looking out the window boredly. “Wuxian, what is going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” he repeated. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Talk to me.” Silence. “What about school? How’s that going?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What was he supposed to tell him? Was he supposed to tell him that he spent his entire weekends at the bar alternating between making strangers pay for his drinks, and borrowing money from friends? Being a perfect little social butterfly just to pretend that everything was okay?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Was he supposed to tell him that he lost interest in half his classes? He just didn’t care about them? Not that his grades reflected his severe disinterest. He still tried, but he didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was he supposed to tell him that he didn’t see a point anymore? He was never going to work somewhere he wanted that also made either Madam Yu or him proud. He was going to do the bare minimum; there was no point in going above and behind when he was still going to be letting them down anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He just didn’t care to try for more. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Baling was a dream. Yiling was a dream. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like he needed to start facing reality. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever that meant. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had already decided, and that’s how he started treating his days. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He figured that maybe he shouldn’t, but… He really couldn’t be bothered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Day by day, he could feel Fengmian’s quiet disappointment while Madam Yu was quite vocal about his life choices.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Now that he was down a job, and “wasting his life away”, Madam Yu demanded even more of him around Lotus Pier. Fengmian tried to push Wuxian to apply himself more, but nothing thrown his way sparked any interest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew Fengmian was doing it to try and get Madam Yu to ease up, to limit his time around her but he never stopped her from her bullshit. So what was the point? Nothing he did would make her happy. It didn’t matter if he was around or not. He’d still hear how miserable she was because of him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His only goal was to finish the semester on a high note, and then withdraw from the school. After freshman year he had decided to spend as much time as he could in school and rack up credits and experience but that just wasn’t going to happen. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He spread himself out a bit too thinly there for a bit. He didn’t want to do that again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>brothers</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>live penguins?</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan felt like he didn’t really have an option but to spend the weekend at Carp Tower. He left as soon as his classes were out on Friday. There were too many things happening this weekend where his presence was not requested but required. It would be easier to be in Lanling than to travel back and forth. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And he promised that he would be there whenever he could for such things. Besides, it was his responsibility to keep up in that regard. If he was going to take over as clan leader, he couldn’t just disappear and abandon everything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But it was entirely Guangshan’s plan to schedule so many important meetings and meals alongside family obligations into one weekend. He wanted to make it difficult for Zixuan. He wanted Zixuan to end his Greater Cloud Recesses venture and come back to Carp Tower. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan decided to call Wuxian while at the beginning of his drive up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell could you possibly want from me at this hour,” Wuxian answered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan's face twisted into disgust. “You’re so fucking rude. And it’s not even 4pm yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian whined. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you fucking serious?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan huffed, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I’m serious. Answer the fucking question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span></span> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Paying Attention and Pretending</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao had to admit that Zixuan was quite good at staying in character. His presence became somewhat intimidating in environments like these. Guangyao might have been able to match Zixuan to some extent but he was not intimidating. He didn’t hold the same power and prestige that Zixuan had.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s posture was impeccable. His expression: stoic. When you thought that perhaps he wasn’t paying attention to the subject at hand, he would speak up and engage with a different air of professionalism and etiquette that Guangyao often forgot that Zixuan was capable of when he was away from his family; when he was with his friends. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Saturday morning came along. Zixuan stood directly beside Guangshan, Guangyao just on his other side before a small line of their most prominent cousins. They welcomed their guests with elegance. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan had a few business arrangements to make and had decided to invite those with which he had to sit down with for the weekend all at once. The way he described it to Guangyao and Zixuan made it seem like he </span>
  <em>
    <span>primarily </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted to show off. Nothing in particular just… Everything. Carp Tower. The family. The staff. In every way they could without calling an official grand meeting… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao didn’t get the point. All of the meetings could have been quite brief. He figured it must’ve had something to do with Zixuan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nie Mingjue, Nie Huaisang, and one of their cousins, Nie Daiyu, walked up and dipped their heads respectfully. It surprised Guangyao to see that Zixuan and Huaisang didn’t greet each other directly, or even spare each other a second look. Zixuan remained perfectly poised and in character. Huaisang, ever the actor, did the same. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As far as Guangyao could notice, Zixuan didn’t even spare the Nies another thought. He was entirely focused on everything else going on. He never pulled out his phone to text him. He didn’t even pull Huaisang to the side before he left Carp Tower to spend the day in Lanling with Daiyu. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Then again, clan leaders didn’t have friends. Zixuan had no business talking to anyone if it didn’t pertain to business. And he never did.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Still...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao knew Zixuan could keep character, but he was surprised that neither of them greeted each other normally. As if they didn’t see each other all the time. As if they weren’t best friends since they were kids.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even speak to him at dinner when things were more relaxed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Granted, Mingjue and Huaisang were sitting across from the two of them. Guangyao couldn’t even talk to Mingjue freely with the way they had been seated. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao tended to observe his surroundings, constantly. He was usually seen and unheard, unless spoken to. Especially at these kinds of things. Madam Jin made sure of that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He read the room like it was his job, which was also something Madam Jin had made sure of. She wanted him to keep an eye on things. See if he noticed or heard anything that might have been of importance. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing goes unnoticed around him. He couldn’t afford for them to.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t meant to take note of Zixuan and Huaisang’s lack of interaction and acknowledgment of each other, he just… had. Especially since it wasn’t so often that Huasiang was here on an official visit.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was so used to them laughing, Huaisang’s voice carrying through the court, Zixuan not acting so prim and proper. It was just… odd. To see them disregard each other. See Huaisang contained, and professional.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced down the table when he heard Lan Xichen’s voice. He must have finished eating to partake in the conversation; Lan Wangji choosing to not engage in the conversation just beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan picked up his glass of wine, glancing down at his phone; a text from Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t one to ever text under the table; he waited for a few guests to start excusing themselves before he did so himself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao never left until Madam Jin did. Ever. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This time was no exception despite how curious he was.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes he understood Madam Jin’s worry when it came to Zixuan and his friendships. He was particularly close to them. Close enough to have to change his relationship with them in the future. Especially with Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They were a little too close. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Close in a way that could completely change the way Zixuan approached situations with the Nies. Close in a way that his mother feared he could be swayed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not to mention how people may perceive their friendship. Guangyao had accidentally fallen into that himself. He had even been there for one of Madam Jin’s sit downs with Zixuan, when she had warned Zixuan about the ‘consequences’ of being friends with ‘someone like Huaisang’. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>While he didn’t make a habit of intervening in any of Madam Jin’s affairs, he always did when Zixuan needed a cover. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Something told Guangyao that he needed a cover. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin had a habit of not waiting for her knocks to be answered before entering. She had barely lifted her hand to Zixuan’s door when Guangyao called out, “I think I just saw him at the fire pit.” He had no idea where Zixuan was if he was being honest. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin looked at him and dropped her hand. “Oh, well then-” she turned.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can go and tell him,” Guangyao offered. “About breakfast?” Guangyao was there when she had finally gotten the call she was waiting for. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Make sure he knows. I expect him to be there.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao pretended to be going to the fire pit but after a moment, turned around and headed back to Zixuan’s door. He knocked quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment or two, Zixuan finally opened the door. Guangyao’s eyes flicked out over his shoulder to Huaisang lying on the futon, scrolling aimlessly on his phone… “Your mother was looking for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I heard her,” Zixuan replied as if he and Huaisang hadn’t nearly launched themselves apart at the sound of her voice like they had been caught doing something horribly wrong. But they were just talking. Specifically about something Qin Cangye had said that they both thought was hilarious.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Madam Yu called her back. Her and Yanli will be here early tomorrow. The four of you are going to breakfast,” Guangyao replied, looking back to Huaisang who rolled off the futon and onto his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What time?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“As soon as they get here. Could be as early as 7:30.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Disgusting, that’s too early,” Huaisang replied from behind Zixuan, shuffling forward. “I’ll talk to you later,” he slipped past the two of them. “Night guys-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They both replied, “Goodnight.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that it,” Zixuan asked Guangyao.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao paused, trying to read his face. Guangyao usually had a good read on him. Except for right now. Zixuan’s expression was hard. Defensive. Guangyao wasn’t really sure why. “Yeah. That’s it. ‘Night.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan closed his door and pressed his back to it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>fake dating</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>these two</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan absolutely hated this. Hated it so much more than he expected to. For someone who he was quite comfortable with, he was overwhelmingly uncomfortable sitting next to Yanli. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” he whispered under his breath, sitting down next to her. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli gave him a small smile and briefly touched his knee under the table in reassurance. It wasn’t his fault. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t meant for it to be seen by either of their mothers, but naturally. It did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> go unnoticed. They smirked at each other before turning back to their children. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Why did it have to be like this? This isn’t what he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want Yanli to feel like she had to kiss his cheek that evening when they left Carp Tower like she usually did in front of Madam Jin and Madam Yu. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to have to listen to his mom rave about how perfect they looked together. About how she sensed something between the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just give it time,” Madam Jin patted his hand on her way out of his room. He didn’t want to hear that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to give it time. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t like that he had to call Yanli that night and apologize again. He didn’t like that she kept telling him it was okay. And he didn’t like that she said she didn’t mind pretending. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because it wasn’t okay. Neither of them should be pretending. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And for what?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>On top of the expectations from his parents, he was struggling to process everything he was feeling towards Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated </span>
  </em>
  <span>that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hated that he couldn’t process the time he spent with Huaisang. Even if it was normal. Because when he left, he started wondering what their friendship even meant. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What the hell were they doing? And why?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Their friends hadn’t noticed anything significantly different between them. With the exception of Wen Ning that is. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Monday Movie Nights were the same, they were always clinger when they got drunk. That was nothing new. Nothing worthy of paying attention to.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Wen Ning noticed things changing. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Wen Ning, Keeper of Secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Wen Ning noticed things changing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first time was when he came home from dropping off Jiang Cheng back at his own apartment. He didn’t actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except Zixuan dropping his hands from Huaisang’s face and quickly pulling away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning glanced between the two of them. Huaisang spoke first, “Can you drive me home too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Wen Ning replied. He glanced at the time on his way out. 11:46PM. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second time was when he had walked out from his shower to find that Zixuan and Huaisang had come back from the bar </span>
  <em>
    <span>quite</span>
  </em>
  <span> drunk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t hear much of anything. But just enough to know </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> was happening behind that closed door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had heard the door open later on that night; Huaisang had accidentally dropped his things just outside Wen Ning’s room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning, curious and wide awake now, shuffled out to find Huaisang sitting at their table, peeking at his bright phone screen with one eye open. “You okay?” Huaisang jumped. “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he said, half asleep. “I’m trying to order a Lyft,” he motioned to his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can drive you home if you want,” Wen Ning offered. Huaisang pouted but nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them talked for half of the car ride. Huaisang rested his head against the window and watched everything blur by. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning couldn’t tell if he was sad or maybe not feeling well. “Are you sure you’re okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t lift his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just want to go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning pulled up to a red light and puffed out his cheeks, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t say anything,” Huaisang added quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So you guys aren’t…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Huaisang replied tiredly, closing his eyes. “Just your good old drunken fun,” he said humorlessly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say anything,” Huaisang repeated. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The third time was when the 11PM rule was instated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was getting increasingly touchy while they were still in the kitchen. Zixuan was worried about Wen Ning walking in. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was not. Not anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nearly 11:30,” Zixuan stated, Huaisang trying to pull Zixuan’s attention back to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re drunk,” he added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shook his head, “Not this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pulled away with a pout. “But-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang, you are drunk,” he pointed out again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pressed, “Okay </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should go home, it’s late,” Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He huffed, “It’s only 11:30.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wen Ning</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang whined loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang, don’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning poked his head around the corner, “Yeah?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan is kicking me out,” he turned around with a pout. “Tell him no.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning blinked. He looked between Huaisang and Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was leaning back tiredly, palms resting on the countertop. He looked up into Wen Ning’s eyes. He had also been drinking and couldn’t drive Huaisang himself. “I can bring you home.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang gaped. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he backed up into Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That was the first time that Wen Ning picked up Huaisang to remove them from their apartment to drive him home. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Zixuan said when Wen Ning got home.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You should go to bed,” Wen Ning advised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fourth time was after Wuxian was staying for the week. He was making his rounds. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This particular night everyone had gone and gotten completely obliterated at Yanli’s.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had slept over Zixuan’s. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang woke up with his arm around Zixuan the next morning. He couldn’t remember what happened. But they were both fully dressed so that was a good sign. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shifted beside him. Huaisang pulled away from him quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan ran his hand over his face and groaned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was quick to make moves to leave. He had no intention of sticking around. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He ran into Wen Ning on his way out of Zixuan’s room. Huaisang assured him he already had a Lyft coming as he rushed out of the apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning pushed Zixuan’s cracked door open and gave him a knowing look. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” Zixuan started and promptly stopped. He rolled over and whined into his pillow, kicking his legs in frustration. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what he was doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>idiots</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning thought his friends were a complete </span>
  <em>
    <span>mess</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He saw the two of them relax and grow more comfortable around the other whenever the rest were gone. But he also saw how cautious they were now; the subtle changes that no one but Wen Ning caught.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No one knew to pay attention to catch them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What Wen Ning always considered to be normal interactions between them suddenly seemed different now that he knew what was going on. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning knew they weren’t dating but he wanted them to. It made sense for them to. Despite the difference in how they presented themselves in public, they were both </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>similar and had so many shared interests. Not to mention their </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span> of close friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning always thought the two of them were a power duo when they worked together. Whether it was lying to get out of something, working on a project together, devising plans to get what they want, or even the rare moments Wen Ning had seen them both in character when surrounded by prominent leaders. He just never considered them to be a power </span>
  <em>
    <span>couple</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Despite all that, he thought they were so fucking stupid too. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He understood the risk of anything getting out, but he didn’t understand why they felt like they had to hide from the rest of their friend group. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning thought about it one particular night that Zixuan and Huaisang had fallen asleep on the couch together. He was careful not to make any noise when he got home and tiptoed by them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He supposed it might have had something to do with not wanting to change the dynamic in their friend group; not that it stopped Yanli or Wen Qing. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they didn’t see it lasting and thought it would make things awkward when they called it off. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they just didn’t want any sort of attention from it; and because Zixuan was included in the equation, it surely would have, for a while.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning hoped they wouldn’t keep it a secret forever. Not with their friends anyways. It seemed tiring. To have to hide, to have to be so careful even around the people you are most comfortable with. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shuffled back out to get some water. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang, who had been going in and out of sleep heard Wen Ning in the kitchen, was quick to his feet. Though a little clumsily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stared at each other awkwardly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you staying,” Wen Ning asked quietly. Careful not to wake Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked around like he lost something. “Uhm. No. No I fell asleep but, uhm-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your phone is here,” Wen Ning pointed to the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Huaisang rushed forward. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to kick you out,” Wen Ning said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang scoffed, “You always kick me out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to. I’m just doing what you guys ask me to do,” Wen Ning pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pressed his lips together and kept his eyes trained on the phone screen.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just saying. You don’t have to run out of here,” Wen Ning said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hesitated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning really thought he might turn around and go lie down with Zixuan again. Or maybe go down the hall to Zixuan’s room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he didn’t. He said his goodnight and excused himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning sighed to himself. It was going to be forever before either of them felt okay with the way they felt about each other.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He would just have to make himself available if they ever wanted to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Until further notice he was going to keep their secret to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t any of his business to say anything.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Summer Distance & Mistakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">tl sometime after finals </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">tl during the summertime; ofc a penguin party had been had </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">Caretakers™ also spent a little time together this summer </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang asked Jiang Cheng numerous times throughout the summer if he could live with him. When Jiang Cheng was finally sick of living by himself though-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang gaped. “What do you mean I can’t move in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng shrugged. “Yanli asked Wuxian if he wanted to move in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> apartment,” Huaisang pointed out. He whined, “Jiang Cheng, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he laid across his lap. “I can’t live with my brother anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang sat up. “Do you even listen to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, not really.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang huffed. “I’m taking a Political Science course,” he pointed out. “He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>already</span>
  </em>
  <span> been on my case about it for the last week and studying properly.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Also</span>
  </em>
  <span>, now that I have Lan Xichen as a professor I might just die the next time he steps foot into my house.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you already died when he came over,” Jiang Cheng pointed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do but now he’s going to see how </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> I am,” he dropped back onto Jiang Cheng’s lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Can you get off of me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Huaisang whined. “Please let me move in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wen ning reaches out to zixuan</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>caption 1: zixuan hasnt talked to or seen anyone except for wen ning </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>caption 2: EX WIFE</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>ME?</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan not so subtly trying to get wen ning to find out if huaisang is seeing someone</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love Wuxian,” Huaisang countered, offended. “And I miss him </span>
  <em>
    <span>a lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Who else am I supposed to talk to about my theatre drama?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Jiang Cheng answered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan replied boredly, “He does.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-But,” Huaisang continued. “He literally told me he isn’t moving here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli frowned. “He said he was two days ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That is not what he said this morning,” Huaisang informed them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli wiped down the countertop slowly. They had a successful reopen at their new location for Lotus Root. The only thing that was missing, the only person, was Wuxian. She was sad that he hadn’t come up, especially since all their friends were together again for the first time in a while. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli understood though, her mother had sent Wuxian to their aunts for the weekend to help her. But their aunt was brutal. Yanli felt quite bad for Wuxian. She’d never hold it over his head that he missed the reopening. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Almost on cue, Yanli’s phone started ringing. It was Wuxian.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A-Xian,” she answered the phone excitedly. Their friend group started yelling their hellos. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng took the phone, “I need you to move here ASAP, Huaisang can’t make up his mind if he misses you or if he wants the room-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang snatched the phone. “I miss you </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> much Wuxian, I haven’t heard from you all summer-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli took the phone back, “Hi A-Xian,” she walked to the back room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian chuckled tiredly, “Hey. How did it go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>busy and dumb</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>WUXIAN DOESNT COUNT</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>i’m not saying zixuan brings home the dying plants from granny xiao’s and tries to bring them back and sometimes he talks to them out loud to encourage them to grow healthily but that’s exactly what i’m saying</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before summer had even really begun, Zixuan had slowly started turning down invitations to go out with his friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was too busy with his summer coursework and was spending much of his time working at Granny Xiao’s- something only Huaisang, Wen Qing, and Mianmian knew about. He barely spent any time in GCR. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The time he spent with Huaisang had dwindled down to nothing over the summer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t stay up so late doing god knows what in GCR when he had to get up early for work at Granny Xiao’s. And if he wasn’t sleeping, he could barely string an intelligent enough response together for his coursework. Not to mention everything his father expected of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only person he ever texted regularly these days was Wen Ning. Sometimes Huaisang but not really. He was busy too. He was spending time working in an opera house of all places working in the costume department while also working on his own commissions. They didn’t have a lot of free brain space to talk; hanging out wasn’t even an option.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan missed his friends terribly. He was grateful to be spending time at Granny Xiao’s, and grateful he still managed summer courses between working for her and his father. But he felt like he was wasting invaluable time with his friends.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Time that he would never get back. Time that he could never look forward to once he stepped up at Carp Tower. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was grateful but it felt like a mistake.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Had things been the other way around, had he worked for his father and went to GCR to be with his friends throughout the summer, it would have felt like a waste. A missed opportunity to pursue something he wished he could pursue for years to come. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t like that he had to give up one for the other. And he felt like shit for not picking his friends. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he couldn’t walk away either… He loved this. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So while Zixuan sat inside Granny Xiao’s small shop, surrounded by books, distraught over his upcoming test and his decision to drop his short time with his friends </span>
  <em>
    <span>for</span>
  </em>
  <span> said test-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of someone entering. Zixuan closed his textbooks and notebooks quickly to stack them off to the side. “Oh,” he had said when he saw it was Wen Qing. “Hey?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She had never come to visit him before.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t seen you around in a bit. Neither has Wen Ning apparently. Except for the Lotus Root reopening,” she said. “How’s everything going?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had spread his books out again. “It’s going. Started falling a bit behind but it’s fine now.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“When do you take lunch,” she had asked him. He looked uncertain. “Do you have any exams coming up that I can help you study for?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I do… I have lunch in about an hour though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Wen Qing had smiled. “That gives me time to look around for some new plant babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan appreciated her stopping by. Moreso for the help she was able to provide in helping him study. He never had anyone to study with him for these courses, but there was no one better than Wen Qing. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She even stayed through to the end of his shift, quietly helping him study when he wasn’t busy with work in the shop; she followed him around the greenhouse asking him questions. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And when they grabbed a bite to eat, she quizzed him while they ate. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He felt confident. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But only in his understanding of the material. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not in his choice. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He asked her about it when it was dark outside, as they sat in her car with the windows down. “Was this a mistake?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>surprise there’s a new mistress in town</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>oh no.. it's hanahaki</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Welcome to Junior Year... Yikes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It wasn’t until they were about two weeks or so into the fall semester that Zixuan had gotten used to the transition from his summer schedule to this new one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> moving in,” Wen Ning asked Jiang Cheng. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess not,” he shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was lying across both Jiang Cheng and Zixuan. “So is the room open?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang huffed. “What about your second room,” Huaisang asked Wen Ning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t,” Wen Ning said apologetically. “It’s being used.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang asked. “It’s always locked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you really want to move out of your house that badly,” Jiang Cheng asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>“No but yes,” Huaisang replied. “I am just </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> stressed out already,” he covered his face. Zixuan absentmindedly played with the fabric around Huaisang’s waist. “This year might actually already be the worst.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s on you for taking more courses,” Jiang Cheng replied. Huaisang kicked his leg in annoyance before digging his toes between Jiang Cheng’s thigh and the couch. “What? I’m just saying.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not the </span>
  <em>
    <span>number</span>
  </em>
  <span> of courses, it’s the subjects,” he pointed out miserably. “What if I just dropped out?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng laughed, “Then you’ll really need to move out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh this semester is really going to go so badly.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you say that then it probably will,” Wen Ning said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’know-,” Jiang Cheng started. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang glanced down at his waist. Zixuan was still running his fingers over the fabric, every so often tugging on it gently. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He softly brushed his hand over Zixuan’s to stop him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t even aware he was doing anything until he felt Huaisang’s hand was over his. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had been preoccupied thinking about what he should say to Huaisang about everything. They hadn’t seen each other all summer and his absence was… much too loud for Zixuan. He figured that must’ve meant something. That it must have been something to mention to Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But whatever he was planning disappeared from his mind the moment they were in his room getting ready to go to sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng had gotten himself a Lyft and Wen Ning was taking a shower. Huaisang had begged to sleepover so he didn’t have to go home and face Mingjue.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was trying to remember the words he had decided on not half an hour ago. “Huaisang,” Zixuan turned around with a sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Huaisang looked over. Zixuan blinked. Huaisang tied the belt of his top into a knot, watching Zixuan with amusement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked away awkwardly and cleared his throat, “N-nevermind.” He fumbled with his own clothes. He had literally seen Huaisang without pants on before. Many times. He used to strip down to his inner clothes all the time and would change on a dime without any warning when they lived together.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was comfortable with himself and absolutely did not care around his friends. He never had.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not to mention the times Zixuan had undressed him himself...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Why was this such an issue for Zixuan right now? To see Huaisang practically naked?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laughed out, “Jin Zixuan are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>embarrassed</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Of course he was. He just didn’t understand why.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We used to be roommates,” Huaisang pointed out in amusement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned back to face him, “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’ve seen me in </span>
  <em>
    <span>much </span>
  </em>
  <span>less,” Huaisang added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But not like this. Not when he was starting to see Huaisang differently. Not when...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang stepped towards him, looking up curiously. “... Is it different now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan lied. At least, in the moment. In </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> moment they were different. But they hadn’t actually changed. Right? At the end of the day they were still just Zixuan and Huaisang. Nothing more.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang recognized the way Zixuan looked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It’s been </span>
  <em>
    <span>months</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Logically, it should stay that way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Huaisang took Zixuan’s hand and guided him under his top, just barely grazing over his hip. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rested his hand on Huaisang’s waist. It didn’t mean anything… It was just for fun anyways, right? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he breathed out, pulling Huaisang to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was just for fun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>ToT</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang brushed his fingers across Zixuan’s flushed cheeks. “You okay? … Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhm, yeah, sorry,” he mumbled. “I wasn’t…” He shook his head to clear it, “Sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry?” He gently held Zixuan’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had no idea what was going on in Zixuan’s head but he figured whatever thoughts were spinning were daunting just from the expression on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Confused felt like an understatement to Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had made it explicitly clear to Huaisang in the past that his only intention with him was to have fun and do what </span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted. Nothing else. He never wanted anything from it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He never wanted to want anything for himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Zixuan.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan just barely shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Huaisang said softly. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>promise</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that, I’m just… I’m thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang still looked unsure. He wished he could read minds. Figure out what was happening in Zixuan’s head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s eyes searched Huaisang’s face. He didn’t know what to make of anything of this… Everything he’s done with Huaisang. Holding Huaisang. Being held by Huaisang… The way he thought about Huaisang… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Why was he even doing this? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Why did he </span>
  <em>
    <span>like</span>
  </em>
  <span> Huaisang? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This never should have happened. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shouldn’t be sitting here like this.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan closed his eyes with a sigh and covered his face. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Huaisang pulled his hands down and lifted his face back up. “Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... We’re okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan offered him a small smile, “Yeah, we’re okay. Just being dumb.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… You’re always dumb,” Huaisang tried. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan snorted and rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was struggling a little on the inside. He didn’t know if he wanted this to go any further between them. It was just going to hurt him in the long run.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang cleared his throat. “... Why don’t you take your shower first?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s ears turned red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>mingjue reaches out to his fellow caretakers when he thinks something is off about huaisang</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>yanli reaches out to zixuan the next morning to nonchalantly find out if he knew where huaisang ended up going last night</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>so yanli reached out to wen ning instead</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan finally wakes up</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>:(</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Zixuan's New Worst Case Scenario</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW// death of a parent mentioned, homophobia, arranged marriages</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">days </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning walked into his apartment with a bag of groceries. Zixuan was curled up on the couch wrapped in one of Wen Ning’s many fuzzy blankets that he had claimed for himself. </p><p> </p><p>“Can we talk,” Wen Ning asked. </p><p> </p><p>He glanced up from the textbook in his lap. “Sure,” Zixuan closed the book and placed it on the ground. “What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning put the bag on the counter and sat across from Zixuan, pulling part of the blanket over his legs. “What’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>“... Nothing?”</p><p> </p><p>“That,” Wen Ning started slowly, “That is a lie and a half. Zixuan, what’s going on?” Zixuan pushed his hands under the blanket. “Does this have to do with Huaisang? Because <em> both </em> of you have been very distant.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan averted his eyes nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“Did something happen the other night?”</p><p> </p><p>“That is a <em> very </em>loaded question,” Zixuan folded his arms under the blanket, still avoiding eye contact. </p><p> </p><p>“Is there anything I can help with,” Wen Ning asked. “As an outside party or something?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know. It’s not like we had a fight or anything… He just kind of stopped talking to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning frowned. He didn’t understand what might have happened. “Are you guys not okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan picked at his bottom lip anxiously. He really didn’t know the answer to that right now.</p><p> </p><p>“If you really don’t want to talk about it that’s fine,” Wen Ning told him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just that…” Zixuan paused. “Wen Ning, I don’t think I can. Like I don’t think you want to hear about any of it. I can only be so vague and still make sense.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning rolled his eyes, “Zixuan,” he stressed. “I have heard the guys gush about their sex lives for years. Nothing is going to faze me anymore,” he pointed out. “I already know you guys are sleeping together.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan clarified, “We’ve never had sex.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning blinked in surprise. “Sorry what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Zixuan picked some fuzzies off the blanket that he didn’t want to stare at anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan didn’t know what to classify anything they did as. Like what exactly <em> was </em> sex in this case? Like… It really <em> could </em>be defined in so many different ways when you get down to it… So… Like yes… But no?</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to discuss the specifics.</p><p> </p><p>“Well?” Wen Ning waited. “Are you just blowing each other-”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan choked, “Oh my god, don’t- no, <em> no </em>-”</p><p> </p><p>“I never pegged you as the handjob type-”</p><p> </p><p>“W-what does that even <em> mean-” </em></p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning shrugged. “Seems messy.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan ears reddened in embarrassment. “Oh my <em> god </em>, no, don’t-”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright so there was no fucking happening,” Wen Ning continued nonchalantly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Wen Ning </em>,” Zixuan looked at him with wide eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m just trying to figure out what went wrong!”</p><p> </p><p>“I-... Oh my god I hate this. ” Zixuan huffed.</p><p> </p><p>Of course Wen Ning didn’t care though. He really wasn’t fazed about anything at all. He didn’t care about what Zixuan told him, he didn’t care that it was about Huaisang. He just wanted his friends to talk to each other.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Wen Ning thought. “I mean... Did he not like it?”</p><p> </p><p>“He did…”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you not like it then-“</p><p> </p><p>“<em> No </em>, that’s-” Zixuan was stressed the fuck out. Liking it was precisely the problem. “It’s… Not that. It’s just. It’s always been about Huaisang y’know? We, uhm,” he paused. </p><p> </p><p>He barely let himself process whatever they were becoming to each other half the time. It was a whole other level to put it into words for someone else. It was humiliating but also kind of relieving to finally talk it out. To finally start just facing things.</p><p> </p><p>Even if it did stress him out.</p><p> </p><p>“We usually just make out, y’know? But sometimes...” Zixuan sighed. </p><p> </p><p>Well Wen Ning didn’t need to know anything else. He didn’t need to know that he does just about <em> anything </em>Huaisang asks for. And Zixuan didn’t mind. He didn’t mind Huaisang riding his thigh.  He didn’t mind having Huaisang in his mouth. He didn’t mind touching him. He didn’t mind kissing him until he was sleepy. He didn’t mind cuddling him, or being held by him.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t mind being used by Huaisang. Whatever that meant at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t mind Huaisang telling him what he wanted. </p><p> </p><p>He’d do just about anything Huaisang asked him for.</p><p> </p><p>“Huaisang is the focus here,” Zixuan said instead. “Not me.”</p><p> </p><p>“And that’s what you guys decided on?”</p><p> </p><p>“We didn’t ‘decide’ on anything except that it didn’t mean anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think even if you’re just friends with benefits, you should still go over boundaries together. That’s just my opinion though.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. It just… I think <em> I </em> messed something up the other night,” he sighed in frustration. “I did something wrong. It wasn’t <em> just </em> about him.” </p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning frowned. “Zixuan...”</p><p> </p><p>He was clearly <em> very </em> upset. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan just wanted to help Huaisang feel good and that was it. Nothing else. He never wanted things to change. </p><p> </p><p>He was scared of everything that it could mean for him and everything he thought he already knew. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan was from a prominent family that was absolutely stuck in the past, stuck in what they considered ‘traditional’ and ‘acceptable’. Zixuan was <em> supposed </em>to be a straight man. Him being anything but was never a consideration. And certainly not allowed. </p><p> </p><p>He was supposed to marry a woman. Very specifically Jiang Yanli. They were expected to raise sons to be a perfect Jin Clan Leader, or marry off daughters for political gain. And if he didn’t marry Yanli, bypassing the disappointment from his family, he would just be set up with someone else. Which was <em> supposed </em>to be Zixuan’s worst-case-scenario. </p><p> </p><p>But being with Huaisang was playing with fire… Acknowledging anything about himself… well that was holding a flame up to a stack of hay. </p><p> </p><p>“Zixuan,” Wen Ning started. “You are more than valid in being unhappy with things not going as you planned.” Zixuan sighed and pulled the blanket closer. God he just wanted to hide. “And it’s okay that your body reacted the way it did. If you don’t want it to mean anything more than just a physical reaction to things, then it doesn’t have to. If you liked it, great, if you didn’t, you didn’t. That’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right…”</p><p> </p><p>Except that Zixuan <em> did </em>. </p><p> </p><p>He knew what going through the motions with someone was like. He knew what his body reacting to those things were. He didn’t mind it. He just didn’t particularly seek it out.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t like that with Huaisang. It wasn’t just going through the motions. It didn’t matter what varying level of intimacy, he walked away feeling utterly confused and equal amounts terrified… </p><p> </p><p>… because he wanted more. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t just something physical with Huaisang. Even if he pretended it was.</p><p> </p><p>“I really think you should tell Huaisang what’s on your mind. Maybe he’ll tell you what’s on his. Have you tried <em> calling </em> him instead of just texting?”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan looked down guiltily. </p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> mingjue doesn’t want to upset his brother even more </span> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“So I can’t know who he is,” Mingjue asked. </p><p> </p><p>The brothers were lying in the center of the living room, staring up at the ceiling, something they hadn’t done in years. </p><p> </p><p>Any time the two of them felt particularly under the weather, emotionally that is, they would lie down beside each other. </p><p> </p><p>It was something they started doing after their father and Huaisang’s mother passed away. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t really matter what had happened, or if anything happened at all. If they saw their brother lying on the ground staring up at the ceiling, or the sky, they would join. </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes they talked. Sometimes they didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Mingjue tried to talk. Tried to ask questions.</p><p> </p><p>“No. Does it matter? We never talk about specifics.”</p><p> </p><p>Mingjue hummed. That was true. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang tended to do that. He clumped everyone into one umbrella defining distinction. Swimmer Boy. Film Boy. Theater Boy. The Market Lady. The Stupid One. The Loud One. The Mean One. Girl Neighbor 1, 2, 3. </p><p> </p><p>When he had first met his friends he did the same. There was the Serious Boy, the Funny One, the Pouty Boy, the Happy Sister, the Quiet Brother, the Serious Girl. </p><p> </p><p>It was remarkable how Huaisang memorized the names of anyone he had met, even in passing. Mingjue figured he always summarized people down to one thing for the sake of everyone else; no one would care to remember the names Huaisang had told them.</p><p> </p><p>It was easier to sum them up in case he referenced them later. It saved time instead of constantly having to retell the story to remind people who he was talking about.</p><p> </p><p>“Because he upset you.”</p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t. Besides… he wouldn’t be the first even if he had.”</p><p> </p><p>Mingjue started cautiously, “No. But this is the saddest you’ve been because of a boy.”</p><p> </p><p>No response.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we call him <em> something </em>? To refer to him?”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to know this one’s name DaGe,” he mumbled. </p><p> </p><p>He just wanted to make sure his brother was okay. “... Did he try anything?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>Mingjue let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s a good person.”</p><p> </p><p>“So then what happened, Huaisang?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just being <em> incredibly </em> selfish.”</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> nmj is at a loss </span> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> yanli is wondering if... </span> </p><p> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Confrontation ha ha</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zixuan spent that week aggressively cleaning. Every inch of every room. Meticulously scrubbing, wiping down, vacuuming. </p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning even found him in his room dusting a lamp. He left him to it after he vowed to not harm any of the penguins and took a nap on the couch instead. </p><p> </p><p>When Zixuan had over cleaned their apartment, he went back to Carp Tower for the weekend to clean his room there and wash the sheets he hadn’t slept in ages. </p><p> </p><p>He was surprised to run into Guangyao. “What are you doing here,” they asked at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>“Just… Giving my roommate space,” Guangyao replied. </p><p> </p><p>He and Mo Xuanyu were friends right up until this year. Last semester was great. They got along quite well. They were great roommates. Until they decided to room together for a second year. </p><p> </p><p>Guangyao had made friends with Xue Yang by mistake, and with him came Zixun. And with his cousin came Wen Chao, who Guangshan had advised him to befriend once he caught word of it. </p><p> </p><p>As much as Zixun hated it, his friends took a greater liking to Guangyao than him; he had no choice but to start putting up with Guangyao on a regular basis. </p><p> </p><p>But regular basis meant constantly being around him.</p><p> </p><p>Guangyao found himself in the middle of his roommate and his friend group. </p><p> </p><p>He barely tried to stand up for Xuanyu. </p><p> </p><p>He was a little bitch who would rather not risk losing his status in the clan than be a decent person to Mo Xuanyu, someone he had considered a good friend. </p><p> </p><p>He knew that.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t blame Xuanyu for growing to despise him. He did nothing to stop Zixun and Wen Chao from tormenting him. So he went home on the weekends to let him have the room to himself. </p><p> </p><p>But Zixuan? Zixuan hadn’t been home except for maybe three family dinners, tops. </p><p> </p><p>And here he was, leaving the laundry room with a pile of cleaned comforters and sheets. </p><p> </p><p>“... What are you doing,” Guangyao eyed the laundry. </p><p> </p><p>“Cleaning. But I’m going for a run if you want to come?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not particularly,” Guangyao replied. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Zixuan shrugged and scurried off. </p><p> </p><p>He was acting weird wasn’t he? “You okay,” he called after him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine,” Zixuan called back. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan didn’t stop moving his whole Saturday. He ran. Showered. Drove to see Granny Xiao but ended up helping her with some small tasks for a while. </p><p> </p><p>“Zixuan, come sit,” she patted the seat across from her. He finished washing his hands in her kitchen sink and sat. </p><p> </p><p>She pushed a cup of tea towards him. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan might not have visited Carp Tower often, but he did drive up to spend at least one day every other weekend devoted to helping this small family out. He liked working for them. They didn’t treat him like <em> Jin </em> Zixuan. They couldn’t possibly care less. </p><p> </p><p>To them, he was just some guy.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m happy you came by today,” she beamed. “We missed seeing you last week.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah,” Zixuan nodded. “I’m sorry for that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, don’t be,” she waved off. “You have never called out before. I’m not concerned about it.” Zixuan took a sip from his cup. “But I am concerned about you. How are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m okay,” he offered a small smile. </p><p> </p><p>“And that boy?”</p><p> </p><p>“What boy? My brother?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, no,” she chuckled. “The other one who came by to see you a while back?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uhm,” Zixuan cleared his throat. “H-he’s good. He really liked the pie you made.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you’ve said,” she folded her hands over Zixuan’s. “And what about home?”</p><p> </p><p>“Carp Tower? It’s… I don’t really know. I’ve been avoiding it,” he explained. “My dad is still on my case about not living in Lanling anymore.” He shrugged, “He can’t keep an eye on me from there. I’m moving back after I graduate so I don’t understand why he’s so upset.”</p><p> </p><p>“May I say something about that, Zixuan?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>“Before I inherited this property from my father, I used to work at Carp Tower.” Zixuan blinked at her in confusion. “Kitchen and wait staff. Centerpieces throughout Carp Tower used to come from here once too. My mother worked on those.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh… Until when?”</p><p> </p><p>“Long time ago,” she waved. “Your grandfather was Clan Leader. But my niece works there now…Quite the stories coming from there still…”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan could imagine. There was always gossip in Carp Tower. He was sure she had heard about him too if her niece was there. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t like that possibility. He didn’t know what they said about him. </p><p> </p><p>“I only know what I hear from my niece, but from my coming in contact with your grandfather often enough… Zixuan my boy… You are not like them. Either of them. Guangshan is a carbon copy of your grandfather. But you are not.” Granny Xiao took both of his hands in hers. “Don’t let him break you down into just another mold of him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t…”</p><p> </p><p>Granny Xiao smiled sadly. He said that now but… “You said it yourself,” she pointed out. “He can’t keep an eye on you,” she said slyly. “Be carefree, but be smart. Now's the time to do what you want.”</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> the number of comments on zixuan’s last tweet.. you know they're almost all wen qing </span> </p><p> <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> confrontation ha ha </span> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> zixuan isn’t having that </span> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> you always let me decide where it stops for me </span> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> *communicates* *freaks out* *communicates* *freaks out* *communicates* </span> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> i don’t want to be stupid </span> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> at least they can still joke around </span> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> balance </span> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>Zixuan called Granny Xiao after he blocked Huaisang’s number. </p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, Zixuan!”</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning Granny Xiao,” he played with the corner of his blanket. “Can you help me with something this evening before I go back to Greater Cloud Recesses?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, sweetie. What’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">guangyao ToT </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">xichen ToT</span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">mingjue aggressively texting </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan and Huaisang pretended to go back to how they were before sophomore year. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only difference was that the thoughts of wondering what it was like to feel the other’s lips became thoughts of needing to be held by the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And just like before sophomore year, over time they were able to pretend like they never once thought about it. It slowly became less obvious to the other what they wanted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The break between semesters helped too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang and Mingjue went back to Qinghe for a couple weeks, and Zixuan spent more time in Lanling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their interactions never really changed. They were still pretty clingy when they drank a little too much. But they had always been like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So yeah, things were back to ‘normal’. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neither were too happy with it, but they both thought it was for the best. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Wei Wuxian</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Wen Qing walked right into the bedroom and crawled over an unexpecting Wuxian. “What the hell-” Wen Qing faced him and smiled. “Wen Qing?” She flicked his forehead. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I-</span>
  </em>
  <span> What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t seen you in a long time,” she stated. “Let’s talk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian read the look on her face with ease, “I don’t want to right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s do a bit of cleaning, yeah?” She got up and looked at the disaster room with her hands on her hips. Wuxian sat up and watched her. “What is undoubtedly clean? Is it this,” she shook a full basket of clothes. He nodded. “Okay.” Wen Qing huffed and dumped the basket over Wuxian’s bed. “Sort, please.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wen Qing, you don’t have to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sort, please,” she repeated, her back turned to him as she walked around the room tossing any other clothing into the basket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian wasn’t going to be able to stop her so he let her do her thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she needed him she’d ask him a question or two but otherwise focused her attention on organizing. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian was afraid she’d make a comment about all of the empty bottles and takeout containers piled up on his desk but she didn’t. She excused herself to get a proper trash bag and took care of it instead. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian put his clothes away quietly while Wen Qing sorted other items into piles: loose papers, books, sheet music, receipts. “These are for you to decide what to do with,” she announced. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But first, can you do this for me,” she handed him the laundry basket. “But bring it back for your sheets, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to. But he felt bad saying no, because even if he refused to do anything, Wen Qing would just do it all herself. She didn’t mind. But he didn’t want her to, so he just went along with whatever she asked him to do.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Wuxian had finished getting his things into the washing machine and put clean sheets on his bed, Wen Qing had already dusted and started vacuuming. It didn’t take long for Wuxian to sort through all of his papers and to put his books and everything neatly back on the shelf. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian stopped Wen Qing from taking the trash bag out of his room. She had done the most annoying parts of cleaning in the last couple hours. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s talk,” Wen Qing said after catching Wuxian up on her own life events. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian told her everything. From the fines, to getting his Associates’ and the decision to withdraw instead of continuing, to his fender bender (not his fault), to everything in between. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His days consisted of trying to simultaneously stay on Madam Yu’s good side and completely avoiding her and Jiang Fengmian at all costs. “Just tired,” Wuxian said. “I hate it here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened to moving in with Jiang Cheng,” Wen Qing asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian shrugged. “Don’t know… Probably better off here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’s that?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing asked the questions Wuxian didn’t have answers for. Anything he threw at her, she’d counter it with question after question. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They took to making plans.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Flute Fridays is an awful name,” Wuxian said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I stand by it,” Wen Qing shrugged, writing in a notebook. “Movie Mondays, again it doesn’t need to be the whole group, just watch a movie. Tea Tuesdays, a free day to destress and do what you need to do. Celebrate something or whatever on Tuesdays. Work Wednesdays, whatever that means,” she scribbled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t nearly all of these Work Wednesdays if I get a job?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to send a resume to Yanli tomorrow,” Wen Qing started, “If you get the job… Well then, yes. Yes they are. Except Tea Tuesdays. Tuesdays off.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If I get the job,” Wuxian repeated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was going to get the job. He knew enough about tea because of Wen Qing, but he also had a great background in Marketing Communications and Business. They needed a third person; who better than Wuxian? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And it would give him something to put his energy into while making money.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I was wrong,” Wuxian said looking at the long list of goals. “Maybe this is too organized.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the thing,” Wen Qing tapped the notebook of everything Wuxian spouted off after she started it off modestly. “It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> list. You can change it. It’s not… Law. It’s a template. A reference sheet. It can change.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian sighed, “This seems pointless.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I’m probably not going to do any of this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“At least you tried by making a list of things you want to do,” Wen Qing shrugged. “I made a to-do list last month. Fourteen tasks. I’ve done three. In a month. That I meant to do in one weekend. They were: shower, take care of plants, and do squats. That’s all I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You do that everyday already.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You should make a new list,” Wuxian suggested. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could. So could you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked at the first item on his list. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Move to Greater Cloud Recesses</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Why am I doing this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing spoke, “Sometimes we need a big change to start to feel like ourselves again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian was silent. What did that even mean anymore? Was he even sure he liked the same things? Or got along with his friends anymore? They saw each other so rarely now. They barely even spoke. What if they didn’t connect the same? Or what if he decided he hated the area? What then…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What did it mean to feel like himself in a place he didn’t even know when he barely felt like himself in the place that was supposedly home?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or sometimes to find ourselves,” Wen Qing added. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So the next day Wuxian updated his resume and emailed it to Yanli. She didn’t want to reply back immediately to make him feel like she was just handing the job over to him. He wouldn’t have liked that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli took a few days before calling him and saying she wanted to interview him if they could manage to not bust out laughing halfway in it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They scheduled a time for your every day interview questions and at the end, “Hold on one moment Wuxian,” she said and covered the camera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian had no idea what she was doing but it sounded like she was walking around with her laptop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not a moment later she removed her hand, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>A-Xian!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” She beamed and laid down on her bed, happily kicking her legs behind her. Wuxian laughed and sat back. “You did so </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re such a weirdo, I love you,” he grinned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well this weirdo is your new boss so,” she pointed at him and narrowed her eyes. “Behave.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“When do I start,” Wuxian took his laptop and walked outside. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Whenever you get your butt here!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian didn’t rush to pack up his things. Admittedly, he hadn’t put in much effort to move. He still questioned if it was even the right decision and considered apologizing to Yanli and Wen Qing for wasting their time. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to do that to them though. So after nearly three weeks he finally had everything packed into the car. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His anxiety was through the roof. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Was this really a good decision? He wasn’t so sure. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This plan was so different from what he decided long ago. Greater Cloud Recesses wasn’t Baling. It wasn’t Yiling either. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Why not make himself feel worse about everything?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Every so often he’d search his name to see if anyone in Yunmeng was still talking about him. His string of bad luck <em>and</em> poor choices sure did raise a few eyebrows.........</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Summoning Wei Wuxian</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>[henlo, we are now following alongside Circles Pt. 1 timeline]</strong>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">why not make himself feel worse</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">whos @/ohnoxuanyu </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">TOMORROW</span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">oh lawd he coming </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">BUDDY </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">you know him </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">MOVE? </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">pouty n grumpy </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">huaisang is not having luck today </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">huaisang does not want wuxian messing with guangyao </span>
</p><p>  <br/></p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">i would never </span>
</p><p> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">oomfies,,, </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">zixuan is v behind on the news </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">please do not sit next to me </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">zixuan hasn’t even seen wuxian yet </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">huaisang doesn’t know anything. </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">0 faith </span>
</p><p> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. Wuxian Has His Eye On The Lans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Wuxian wasn’t planning on faking being a student at UCR for too long, that’s true. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just needed something thrilling to get him going. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Plus he wanted to see what their classes were like, and the campus. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to see what all of his friends got to experience for the last couple years without him. Maybe then he’d understand how things got to where they were. Or maybe it would help him reconnect with them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The last few days have been weird trying to jump right back into things. It took a few moments before things felt less awkward whenever he was around any of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe this would help. Somehow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did technically have </span>
  <em>
    <span>Learn something new</span>
  </em>
  <span> on his list anyways… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a variety of responses</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wuxians first day is getting attention</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wait... </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">everyone ever </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">oh my god </span>
</p><p> <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wuxian connecting several dots here </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">huaisang loves xichen </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wuxian isn’t allowed over anymore </span>
</p><p>  <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">still daddy </span>
</p><p>  <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Big Brains and Academic Fraud</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Stop saying there’s a glitch, you’re the glitch,” Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even go here,” Zixuan pointed out, taking a sip from the cup in front of him. “Yanli, this is a lovely blend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli smiled and patted his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t support what Wuxian was doing. It was incredibly reckless. If he managed to pull it off, it would be a literal miracle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> think he could pull it off. And he would not be able to pull him out of this mess either. He was almost positive of that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But just when he thought the idea couldn’t get any worse, “Does anyone know how to hack into-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I DO,” a Lan boy shot up from his seat from a few tables away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Zixuan muttered in disbelief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan spotted his cousin sitting with the Lan boy. He slid down in his seat, trying to hide his face from Zixuan, “Sit down, Jingyi, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sit down</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he hissed loudly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan recognized the boy beside Jin Ling; the son of another clan leader. Ouyang Zizhen. He was expected to recognize anyone in close relation to the clan leaders, and possible future clan leaders. He made it a point to commit everyone to memory upon their first meeting. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Something that should have been expected of Wuxian too, but of course he never bothered. Wuxian always pointed out that that was Jiang Cheng’s job, not his. Zixuan was sure Madam Yu had told Wuxian not to bother either.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t a total surprise that he didn’t immediately recognize Wangji at all. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t even sure if Wuxian would recognize Ouyang Zizhen.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan only formally met Zizhen once, in passing. He was much younger at the time though. And sad; not the outgoing boy that everyone knew him to be. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Come here, come here,” Wuxian aggressively waved them over. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What is happening,” Zixuan asked his friends under his breath. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning deadpanned, “Academic fraud, I think…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Wen Qing muttered at the front counter. Yanli let out a laugh but joined her away from the boys conspiring at the table. Zixuan was a second away from joining them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-I could wipe out all of your debt,” the Lan boy boasted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan narrowed his eyes and challenged, “So do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jingyi felt just the slightest bit intimidated by him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He can’t,” Zizhen sat beside Jingyi. “But he can get into the system.” Zizhen glanced at Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang offered him a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan blocked them out and went back to drinking his tea. There was no way Wuxian could pull this off. And not with this kid as his sidekick. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling officially joined them, only sparing Zixuan a glance. Zixuan raised an eyebrow at him to see if he’d say something but he remained quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked away from Jin Ling to see Jingyi grinning. He made a face, “Don’t do that. You look like a gremlin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>sizhui cares more about the lovely blend than the crime being committed.</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is going to take forever. Can you say something,” Jiang Cheng whispered over to Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why me? Why can’t Huaisang,” he motioned to Huaisang who was resting his cheek in his palm beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what’s going on,” he crossed his arms and slouched. He looked like he was about to knock out, “Ask Wen Ning.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Upon hearing his name, “Professor,” Wen Ning raised his hand and interrupted Wangji and Wuxian’s debate. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Wen Ning?” Xichen motioned to him happily. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan wants to speak,” Wen Ning beamed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wow</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Zixuan looked forward, “I agree that the initial message the creator wanted to portray is the most important. However, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>also</span>
  </em>
  <span> agree that there can be just as much of a deeper meaning and understanding to the piece through the lens of the viewer.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed loudly, done with the conversation after Wuxian and Wangji’s bickering. “All perceptions of a piece make it what it is, in its entirety.” He looked around at the eyes staring at him. “I… I would guess?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan bit back a smirk, knowing Xichen would want him to keep going. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t participate in his classes too often. Sometimes, mostly in their literature course, once he started he didn’t stop. Zixuan had told him on more than one occasion that he harnessed some big brain power but Huaisang never believed him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please expand on that,” Lan Xichen said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang brushed it off saying he didn’t know what he was talking about and apologized for speaking out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Huaisang didn’t participate in class discussion, but Zixuan was happy that he usually ranted and theorized around him so even if he didn’t elaborate in class, if Zixuan asked, he would later. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Some of the things he came up with were weird as hell. But others were a bit profound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>but wherefore art thou big brain when a great and magnificent daddy appears ‘round thy corner :/</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does,” Zixuan countered. “I think you’re right too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn… So what did you write about for the next response,” Huaisang asked slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not telling you. Harness thy big brain and come up with your own topic,” Zixuan snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang huffed, “Fine. But if Xichen thinks I’m stupid it’s your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re passing with flying colors in the course, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang grumbled something but Zixuan couldn’t make out what it was from the shuffling on the other end. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you really think Wuxian won’t get caught,” Zixuan asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang highlighted something carefully, “For his sake I hope he doesn’t. Unless you think you can help him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I doubt it,” Zixuan replied. “Not with this. Now if he actually applied and wanted me to pay his tuition,” he offered up. “That’s different.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna pay my tuition?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No. You can pay it just fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well maybe Wuxian won’t show up to class next week,” Huaisang continued like that exchange never happened. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He always asked Zixuan for things for the sake of asking. They never skipped a beat returning to the conversation. Zixuan rarely said yes to him so it’s not like the conversation ever actually veered off. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know… I think he’ll keep going just to spite Lan Qiren.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And bother Wangji.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan agreed. “I don’t know. Can’t say.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Have you talked to him much before he moved to GCR?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really,” Zixuan admitted. “He never answered my texts or calls about anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Me neither,” Huaisang sighed. “Do you think he’s mad?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. Maybe?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He still talked to Jiang Cheng and Yanli,” Huaisang added hopefully. “Maybe that makes up for it somehow.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sat on the phone in silence working on their assignments. Huaisang angled the phone away to quiet the sound just a little as Zixuan turned his music up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until the music was lowered again did he turn it back. He figured Zixuan might be saying he had to go. He usually did around this time in the evening. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you do the Classic Lit assignment yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Are you trying to copy off of me?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pursed his lips. “That will cost you…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just tell me what you did.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... You already finished it didn’t you…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hesitated. “Yes. Tell me what you did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Share your big brain thoughts with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll just let you read it,” Huaisang turned his laptop to pull up his email. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You just want me to tell you if there’s any typos.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Correct.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan scoffed. “Fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And while you do that I’m going to figure out what the fuck to have for dinner since Mingjue is out,” Huaisang chewed on the end of his pen, already looking at his options online. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“To eat?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’ll get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang smiled and set his pen off to the side. “Surprise me.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. Don't Be That Person</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">i hate wen chao </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">2 solid friends </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">too much drama with guangyao involved </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan went straight to Wen Chao’s account. Huaisang might have deleted his tweets but Wen Chao’s comments should still show up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao was facetiming Xichen while he was doing an assignment. “Okay,” he nodded. “That works just fine. Thursday?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thursday,” Xichen confirmed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao looked over his shoulder at the sound of someone at his door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have to go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao frowned. “I’ll text you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Xichen smiled. “Have a good weekend!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You too, Xichen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao stood up from his desk with a huff and shuffled to his door. He wished that they hadn’t had their family dinner this particular weekend so he could’ve just stayed on campus. He was driving back first thing in the morning. Three weekends in a row at Carp Tower was enough for him for a while. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao raised his eyebrow at Zixuan. “What?” He held his door open for him to walk in, but Zixuan didn’t go far.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan kept his voice low since Guangyao hadn’t made any move to close the door, “You should know that Nie Huaisang is protecting your ass a lot more than he should.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao shut the door at that. Zixuan didn’t sound happy. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well for starters, a few weeks ago when I managed to actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>coax</span>
  </em>
  <span> it out of him, he told me about what was going on between you and your roommate,” Zixuan started. “That your fallout with him was because you practically threw him to the fucking wolves, Guangyao. You didn’t do shit to stop Zixun and Wen Chao from messing with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao countered, “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that I can’t say anything to Wen-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes </span>
  </em>
  <span>you can,” Zixuan stopped him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not you,” Guangyao responded angrily. “I can’t just do what I want. I’m not trying to piss our fucking father off </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I need to stay on Wen Chao’s good side.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then get me involved next time,” Zixuan said. “I might hate confrontation but some things fucking need it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Both of them were getting angrier the longer they stood there, staring the other down.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you doing this now if you found out </span>
  <em>
    <span>weeks </span>
  </em>
  <span>ago,” Guangyao asked. “Why don’t you go yell at Zixun-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I did,” Zixuan laughed out bitterly. “And I should’ve come straight to you right after. You can go ahead and stay quiet about anyone you want, and come to me to deal with it, I don’t care. But you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>going to let Wen Chao talk shit about Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao held his hands up in defense, “I have-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan interrupted before Guangyao could even speak, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> say you have no idea what I’m talking about. I know you liked the tweet he tagged you in, and I know you liked one of the comments he made before that.” Guangyao remained silent. “It’s really fucking sad that Huaisang only deleted his tweets because </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>name was brought up and he didn’t want Mingjue to see it and be mad at you. He didn’t need to do that. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>shouldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>have done that. But he decided your friendship with his brother was more important.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao silently cursed himself. Of course Huaisang told Zixuan about Xuanyu. And of course Zixuan saw Wen Chao’s comments. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t cared what Wen Chao had said, though it was rude and a little fucked up, but he didn’t think that </span>
  <em>
    <span>liking</span>
  </em>
  <span> the tweets would lead to Zixuan fuming like this. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead and be friends with whoever Dad tells you to be friends with. But don’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>person, Guangyao.” He added in a softer tone, “Please don’t be that person.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao didn’t say anything. He looked like he wanted to respond but couldn’t find the words. He nodded silently instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan exhaled slowly. “Just…” His entire energy shifted from anger and annoyance to complete disappointment. “Even if it’s just you guys, do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> let Wen Chao talk shit about Huaisang. He’s my best friend. And he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>friend’s little brother. And if </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> not enough, Dad wants to reel the Nie Clan in under us. Which is near impossible as is,” he scoffed, reaching out to open Guangyao’s door. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> fuck with our relationship with them.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. The Absolute Chaos Wuxian Is Causing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">wuxian discovering wangji’s twt </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wuxian making a point to bother guangyao for xuanyu </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">guangyao thinks wuxian will get kicked out for sure </span>
</p><p>  <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were definitely late for their Classical Literature class but they weren’t too concerned with the way the course was graded. Now if this was their fifth time being late then they’d really be seeing the impact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walked without rush, Zixuan holding onto his hot tea from Lotus Root, and Huaisang with his iced tea. They had been talking about the scene Wuxian had caused with Lan Qiren in class. That conversation alone on their way to Lotus Root set them back. But talking to Yanli made them realize they would be late. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knowing they were going to be late anyways, they took their time, instead discussing the reading.  “Is that what it was saying,” Huaisang questioned, looking up at Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh,” he shrugged and held the door open for Huaisang to walk through. They were taking the shortcut through the FPA hall to class. “I think it’s really up for interpretation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe if we walk slower we’ll miss the discussion,” Huaisang offered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pretty sure we’d have to miss the entire class to miss the discussion.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> skip,” Huaisang said slowly. “Go have fun somewhere else?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan bit the inside of his cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been what? Half an hour already?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We haven’t even missed 15 minutes yet,” Zixuan pointed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both nosey as all hell, they slowed down when they heard music blasting from one of the dance rooms. “Wait,” Huaisang whispered and rushed forward. “Zixuan,” he aggressively hit his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan swatted Huaisang’s hand away, “What,” he leaned over him and- </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No way…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian let the song take hold of him. He let the song drive him and move him. His movements were sharp, transitions smoothe. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them knew Wuxian could even dance… But here he was dancing like he had been doing it his whole life… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>… Maybe he had…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">ignore them</span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wuxian’s biggest stans </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">well... </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">everyone is still under the impression that wangji hates wuxian so they Have to laugh </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">what is he doing </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">STOP STOP STOP STOP </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">is huaisang ok </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">not that fast </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang always complained about working out, and especially when it came to running. But that never stopped him from going to the gym with Zixuan. He actually got excited whenever Zixuan said he was going to go workout. Most times he asked to go too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The last time Zixuan and Huaisang had gone for a run, they had taken a trail alongside a river that Huaisang quite liked. He kept stopping to look out over the water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Again?” Zixuan had been pulled to a stop. “Huaisang,” he groaned in annoyance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look at the ducks,” Huaisang pointed excitedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Zixuan laughed in disbelief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang crouched down, wrapping his arms around his legs as he watched the two ducks swim just off the shore. Zixuan let him spend a couple minutes sitting there before he finally dragged him away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” he whined in faux exhaustion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No stopping,” Zixuan walked backward as he pulled Huaisang back to the trail. “We can head back to the car, but no stopping.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang put up a fight and firmly planted his feet. “Can we just walk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s too many bugs out now for that,” Zixuan pointed out. “I can’t. They’re going to kill me,” to which Huaisang rolled his eyes. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan smiled sweetly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed, “Fine but we’re walking once we’re off the trail.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. Let’s go,” Zixuan had turned and jogged off, Huaisang groaning but quickly caught up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan thought that maybe they should go running on the trail again when the weather was nicer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For now he’d have to settle for listening to Huaisang complain about Wuxian trying to ‘chase’ Xichen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean does it really matter,” Zixuan asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it matter,” Huaisang repeated with an attitude. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span> it matters! If Wuxian does </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> with that man I’ll have to hear about it for the rest of my life.” Zixuan watched Huaisang anxiously tap his fan against the desk. It was Huaisang’s equivalent to aggressively clicking a pen, or bouncing a leg. “If that man so much as smiles at him, Wuxian is going to brag about how someone from Lie Bing gave him the time of day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do know that Lan Xichen has smiled at you before,” Zixuan pointed out. “And goes to your </span>
  <em>
    <span>house… </span>
  </em>
  <span>Quite often.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I mean, Zixuan,” Huaisang exclaimed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had no idea what Huaisang meant. Wuxian was just as flirty as Huaisang was. They both were flirty for the sake of being flirty. It was fun for them. That’s it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t understand.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan slowly pulled the fan from Huaisang’s hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>freaking out</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </span>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>same wen qing. same.</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan values his life. he is Not stepping in</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>huaisang...</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan is trying to decide if he should point out that “yet” or pretend he’s jared, 19</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jared, 19</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. Fight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan knew the text was coming when he saw Wuxian’s tweets about Mingjue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He vividly remembered Wuxian and all the times he tried getting Mingjue’s attention. Not to mention how animated Huaisang got about it every single time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is absolutely illegal for anyone to kiss Mingjue,” Huaisang had said once. “None of you are allowed to kiss him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wuxian</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he had given him a pointed look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” Wuxian waved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I vote that no one tries for anyone’s siblings,” Huaisang held up his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have siblings,” Zixuan replied boredly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You probably have like 30 siblings,” Jiang Cheng pointed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ouch.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I promise nothing Huaisang,” Wuxian replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all knew he was joking but Huaisang never quite believed him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>acting</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>huaisang wants to understand what wuxian is even Doing</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan just Knows wuxian is telling the freshmen four his plans while in gcr instead of the h8rs</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wuxian is trying to do old wuxian things in an attempt to find himself</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>ceasefire</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>what’s another thing</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>expecting to get caught</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>temporarily redirecting his frustration to zixuan instead</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan goes to huaisangs after</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked up from the three textbooks in front of him as Zixuan crossed the room silently. “Are you sure you’re alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was overly drained after the last couple hours with Wuxian. He felt like shit if he was being honest. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like he absolutely failed. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe that the last few hours would fix anything for Wuxian, but whatever little bit that it helped Wuxian, left him feeling like utter shit. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He just needed a minute in some quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not alone though. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’d prefer to be around Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn,” Zixuan pulled all of Huaisang’s blankets over himself, only the top of his little bun poking out as he wrapped his arms around a pillow. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang carefully lifted the comforter just a little bit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned his head and smushed his other cheek against the pillow. He grumbled something. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned but let him be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>domino effect</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><strong>typo that bothers me: always -&gt; already*, thx </strong><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">for legal purposes i condone none of this</span> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">maintain the trio </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">comforting...? </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">jingyi pls </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">for science purposes </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes it was hard to know if Zixuan was awake or asleep; he didn’t move much once he passed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only once while Huaisang studied. All Zixuan did was turn his head; he had sat up just slightly to turn and dropped back down heavily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had definitely fallen asleep. Completely knocked out. He didn’t even budge from the sound of Huaisang accidentally dropping one of his textbooks when he had given up studying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang went about the rest of his night; he watched TV with his brother for a while, he started a load of laundry, he took a shower, he turned down Mingjue’s invite to go for a run. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he scrolled through his timeline to see what was happening out in the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when he saw the tweets about Zixuan and Wuxian. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang walked back to his room to see that Zixuan was still fully hiding under the covers. Only this time he had pulled the blanket tightly over his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his door behind him, a muffled text tone coming from under the covers.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pushed the blankets down and looked up at him, squinting at the lights. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Wuxian got into a fight?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sort of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah they argued. A little bit. They both had a decent amount to get off their chests.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Especially Wuxian. He had a lot he was angry at after all. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t hold back telling Zixuan off. And Zixuan took the blame for everything that even remotely had to do with anyone in their friend group. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian absolutely tore him apart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lots of yelling. More than you’d expect. At one point Wuxian even stormed out of the car but quickly realized he had no idea where he was. Having to get back in the car just added to his frustrations.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yelling and talking it out with Zixuan would absolutely not fix anything. But it helped for the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Just that Zixuan was even willing to hear him out. And let Wuxian be pissed off at everything. The big stuff, yeah, but the small stuff too. And even yelled back a little. It helped for the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Had it been anyone else, Wuxian would not have felt like it did anything for him, even if it wasn’t by a lot. It would’ve made him feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>worse.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Had it been anyone else, Zixuan wouldn’t have willingly offered to get his ass handed to him, especially for things he may not have even done. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… I feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> horrible, Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Because of what he said?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but not like… What he said </span>
  <em>
    <span>to</span>
  </em>
  <span> me, but just what he said… I feel like a fucking awful friend. For not noticing </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a lot easier to realize things after it’s been pointed out to you though,” Huaisang frowned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>to make him feel better</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>except</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jc pls</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wuxian wanted to clarify if he called zixuan names HHHH (he did, zixuan knows he did)</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0059"><h2>59. Oh To Be Zixuan-Rich</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan did not know how he got here. But damn, these two fuckers were loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I go now,” he asked Zizhen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jingyi sat back as if it suddenly made him invisible. “Shit sorry; I’m not here, continue-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zizhen ran into Zixuan at Lotus Root and immediately asked him if he took any philosophy courses at UCR. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seeing as he had, Zizhen decided to ask if he could talk to him about one of his readings. Zizhen really didn’t want to talk to Jin Ling about it, despite being in the same course as him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He figured Zixuan was less likely to get frustrated with him for not understanding shit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed and turned back to Zizhen. He didn’t mind that Zizhen had asked him for help. He, though hesitant to admit it, really liked the freshmen four. At first he didn’t understand why all four of them had latched onto his friend group but he was getting used to having them around already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He even texted Jin Ling more than he probably ever had in his life because of it. And for the first time, for things completely unrelated to their family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling wasn’t so bad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan would even dare to admit, to himself anyways, that Jin Ling was quickly becoming his second favorite cousin. His favorite being Jin Han. At this rate, Zixuan talked to Jin Ling more than he did Jin Han though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friends weren’t bad either. They were far better than Zixun and Guangyao’s friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan thought they were all quite funny, and a little rambunctious. He wondered how Jin Ling was when it was just them around. Especially knowing that he was roommates with Zizhen? And that they requested to live together? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He never understood their friendship. Seeing it from afar was an odd pairing to him. But even more so now that he knew Zizhen better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I don’t even know if that’s what this means? Does it even make sense?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed. “Well, in </span>
  <em>
    <span>theory</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” he paused, glancing up at the movement just behind Zizhen. A complete mistake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Zhang Yu said brightly and made her way over. Her friend stood just slightly off to the side. Yang Zi gave Zixuan an awkward wave and quickly averted her eyes to her screen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yikes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For someone who moved to GCR, I feel like I see you less than when you were back in Lanling,” Zhang Yu smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zizhen saw how Zixuan held himself differently with her standing before them. The confidence that was clearly so visible before shrank; he seemed wildly unsure of himself with her standing there. “My fault, I’m sure,” Zizhen spoke up like he knew Zhang Yu himself. “He’s my go-to upperclassman for half my classes,” he patted his philosophy book.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You adopted a freshman,” Zhang Yu stated with amusement.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Two,” Jingyi piped in. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t give him a choice,” Zizhen added.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Cute,” Zhang Yu laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I’d say that,” Zixuan said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jingyi cocked his head to read the title of the book in her hand. “May I see that for a second,” he asked politely. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sure,” she held it out to him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yang Zi spoke up from behind them, “I’m going to wait outside, Zhang Yu.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Be there in a minute,” Zhang Yu called after her. She turned back to Jingyi, “It’s for the Queer Lit course.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Jingyi handed it back, “I’ll have to ask Wuxian if I can look through it then.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You know Wuxian,” Zhang Yu asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s her brother,” Zixuan motioned to Yanli who was deeply engaged in a conversation with someone at the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zhang Yu said as it clicked. “Damn I knew I’ve seen his face somewhere before. He’s a Jiang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And you look a little familiar too, if I’m being honest,” Zhang Yu said to Zizhen. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ouyang Zizhen,” he said with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“UCR is just collecting heirs at this point aren’t they,” Zhang Yu joked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you expect anything less with my dad as president,” Zixuan replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yikes</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she laughed. “What about you,” she motioned to Jingyi. “You’re not going to tell me you’re next in line in one of the Lan Sects?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not,” Jingyi said. “I live in Cloud Recesses. Just Jingyi.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zhang Yu narrowed her eyes. “Not… jingYEET by any chance? Who trended in GCR the other day?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... That’s me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>the list</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>rolling in dough</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>s*gar d*ddy thing</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>guilting rich people</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>no</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jc just wants to KNOW</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>self imposed budget</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>i’m wen qing</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0060"><h2>60. They're a Mess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Huaisang wanted to say something to Wuxian. About Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Not even his brother. They would be able to figure out who he was talking about no matter how vague he was. They had all seen how close the two of them were. They’ve seen the dynamics of their friendship for years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They would know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Talking to Wen Ning? That made him nervous. He was Zixuan’s roommate after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So Huaisang struggled to figure out what to do, by himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had stepped back from this, afraid that everything would blow up in his face. But he was starting to think that it didn’t matter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like things were blowing up in his face every passing day anyways. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Moments where he wanted to kiss Zixuan but couldn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Moments that might’ve seemed normal before could </span>
  <em>
    <span>potentially</span>
  </em>
  <span> be considered abnormal now. The awkward moment of both of them realizing this and immediately separating, or changing the topic, or looking away. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the mess going on in his own head, they really hadn’t let things get in the way of their friendship. They still went out and did things together. They still hung out and did their assignments. They still bickered. An occasional sleepover here and there. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was okay. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was fine. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Huaisang’s head was a mess. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And Zixuan’s head was a mess.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a couple months. A couple months since Huaisang felt Zixuan’s hands on his body. A couple months since Zixuan had tasted Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That’s 100% how they got here. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They were supposed to be getting ready for their first Classical Literature written exam next week. They were so confident in their ability to stay focused after all these months that Zixuan left his door wide open. They were just studying anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How could that go wrong?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>How could either of them have realized that they slowly changed the way they were interacting with each other? How were they supposed to notice the way Zixuan smiled at Huaisang when Huaisang wasn’t looking? How were they supposed to notice the way Huaisang teased and picked on Zixuan with the softest smile?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>How were they supposed to notice that things between them had changed?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They were so oblivious to how they felt that it didn’t occur to them. Not when the night was growing quieter. Not when they had long grown quiet with it. Not when their night had shifted between preparing for their exam to looking into each other's eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not when Zixuan gently brushed a strand of hair from Huaisang’s cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Now when Huaisang parted his lips or when Zixuan leaned in. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not when their lips had barely brushed, more than ready to kiss the other again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not when their stomachs dropped and their panic spiked when they heard Wen Ning call from the living room, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s 11PM</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s hand slowly dropped from Huaisang’s cheek; Huaisang pressing his lips together with a hum as he pulled back to pretend he was actually in the middle of packing his things up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning padded down the hall and poked his head in through the open door. “Are you staying the night or are you done studying?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Done,” Huaisang smiled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That’s when it briefly occurred to Huaisang that maybe he had been wrong. Maybe you can’t just fuck around with your friends without catching feelings. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Though… It’s possible that there were feelings before.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0061"><h2>61. Huaisang's Studies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Xichen would not tell Huaisang what Wuxian’s independent study focus was going to be. No matter how much he begged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nie Huaisang,” Xichen said with a smirk, “I’m not going to tell you if he hasn’t told you himself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao watched the two of them. He really didn’t understand the way Huaisang behaved around Xichen. At school he was quiet and seemed to run away from him. When he saw him out in public he always seemed nervous, and online all he did was gush and fawn over him like it was no one’s business.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, Guangyao wasn’t sure if it was always like this because he wasn’t always here for Saturday Brunch, but Huaisang was none of those things when Xichen was at his house. He played up his act as little brother even more around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure if Xichen noticed but he sure as hell had.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pouted, “Xichen, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he shook his arm. “Wuxian won’t tell me because he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>annoying</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave Xichen alone,” Mingjue sighed. “Don’t you have to finish studying for PoliSci?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang draped himself across the counter. “I don’t want to. It’s too much and I hate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you ask Guangyao to help you? He knows the content well enough,” Xichen offered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I sure hope so,” Guangyao smiled. “I took three PoliSci courses last semester alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How is there even that much to talk about,” Huaisang asked, distraught.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” Mingjue sat beside Xichen at the kitchen island. “Why don’t you add another major like Guangyao? It would do you some good to focus on something other than art.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I already have,” Huaisang frowned. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> his older brother. And Mingjue always supported his interests. He was just worried about Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was smart. And incredibly talented. But he didn’t care enough in anything that the Nies typically excelled in. He didn’t want to be a little angry Nie clone, far too engaged in business, politics, and conflicts. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted pretty things. He wanted to learn about so much more than everything he already knew about from the rest of his family. He wanted more than that. He wanted something new, something he thought was exciting.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue knew that, but he didn’t see why Huaisang couldn’t excel in both. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t see eye to eye on that at all. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang thought he knew enough. Enough to more than ‘just get by’ in a conversation with anyone in his family, or anyone important. He didn’t need to make it his life. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nie Mingjue,” Guangyao turned to him. “I think Fine &amp; Performing Arts and Literature are really knowledgeable studies to get into!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao wasn’t going to say anything but, he never shied away from accidentally upsetting Mingjue so why not say something purposely that </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> upset him? Besides, maybe he’d appreciate that he was standing up for his little brother. And as an added bonus, maybe Zixuan would hear that he had and drop this image that he was sure came to mind whenever he happened to think of Guangyao. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t need the only person on his side in Carp Tower to hate him too. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgot you’re taking up music too,” Mingjue took a sip of his mimosa.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You might hate it,” Xichen spoke up, “But you are outnumbered on this one. You’re surrounded by musicians,” he smirked. “Eat your food and be quiet,” he laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hummed, “I’m not sure I’d call myself a musician anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Xichen pursed his lips in thought. “Artists? Creatives.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” Mingjue rolled his eyes but smiled anyways. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll help you study after,” Guangyao muttered to Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang mumbled quietly, “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure what to make of the offer. He didn’t think Guangyao would want to waste his time doing that. It didn’t seem worth it. Maybe Huaisang could say ‘no’ to Mingjue and his uncle when it came to his studies, but Guangyao could not. He was taking every program under the sun, to some degree. He was swamped. More than Huaisang ever cared to put himself through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>huaisang is going to take him up on it</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>guangyao needs to clear his schedule a bit first by getting ahead on assignments</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>o </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>gaggle of performers</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0062"><h2>62. Tea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">**** ******’s **** </span>
</p><p> <br/><br/> <br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">magic 8 ball!zixuan </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">tag urself im wen qing </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing,” Zixuan asked, taking his seat across the small room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He and Huaisang walked in to see Wuxian hunched over Wangji’s seat, scribbling something onto a sticky note. He was leaving a cup of tea for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe he pissed Wangji off, “Why are you leaving gifts for Wangji,” Zixuan added to his first unanswered question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian scurried to his seat, “It’s not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>gift</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d accept tea as a gift,” Huaisang settled beside Zixuan. “I’d accept tea as a gift,” he lowered his voice, eyeing Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not getting you tea,” Zixuan rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang scoffed and crossed his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wuxian, if it’s not a gift why are you leaving it there like that with a note?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian opened his mouth to answer but closed it as Jiang Cheng and Guangyao entered. “I don’t understand how that involved Lanling,” Jiang Cheng said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao shook his head, “I’ll show you the notes before class. Nie Mingue might be able to explain it better anyways.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng sighed, “I hate this class,” he left Guangyao’s side and plopped down next to Wuxian. “What’s going on,” he asked, glancing between Wuxian and Huaisang, both of which looked annoyed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re just talking about Wuxian buying gifts for Wangji,” Huaisang grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning walked into the class with a little pep in his step, “You bought a gift for Hanguang-Jun? Oh, that’s so nice of you, Wuxian!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I did not,” Wuxian groaned. “I got him and Xichen tea this morning. I spilled some on Wangji a few days ago. It’s just an apology.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao spoke up from across the room, “Why did you buy Xichen tea?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why does it matter, Guangyao,” Wuxian narrowed his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him lately,” Guangyao pointed out with a shrug. “You constantly tweet about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then block me,” Wuxian leaned back in his chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed heavily. It would be nice if these two just ignored each other’s existence instead of finding something every morning to argue about. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s just my independent study advisor,” Wuxian continued. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao rolled his eyes and focused his attention back to the front of the room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What exactly did you want me to say? Anything in particular?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s enough,” Zixuan shot Wuxian a look. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Frankly,” Huaisang fanned himself boredly. “I’m tired of talking about Wuxian.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And his dick sucking ventures,” Jiang Cheng added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Het,” Wen Ning joked under his breath. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been over this Wen Ning,” Jiang Cheng sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>answer them</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan-</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jiang cheng-</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>they’re gonna know</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>he won’t hurt you</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a clown.</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>the big ole scream wuxian let out bc of the note got attention</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here you go,” Zixuan placed a cup of tea in front of Huaisang as he sat beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Was that for him? Huaisang looked at it awkwardly, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling looked up from his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I got you your tea. Honey citrus?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was going to scream. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was sure that this had absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do with the comment he had made the other day about accepting tea as a gift. A complete coincidence. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to scream nonetheless. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Zixuan,” he smiled instead. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling leaned forward, “Where’s mine?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pushed his face, “Go away-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Zixuan,” Yanli sighed and placed a cup in front of Jin Ling. “Be nice to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Yanli,” Jin Ling beamed up at her. It was the exact same smile Zixuan used to see Jin Ling give his mother when he was little. Yanli pinched his cheek before walking away. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang snorted; Zixuan rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>huaisang is always reliable for a play by play</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0063"><h2>63. A Story Worth Telling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan had looped right back around to feeling utterly uncomfortable again. About the same level of discomfort and uncertainty the night he asked Huaisang to kiss him. And the night he raced to Zhang Yu’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only this time it wasn’t with what he was doing, but rather what he wasn’t doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was overwhelmingly aware of it after a surprise call from Granny Xiao that night before. She was hoping for an update. With deep and utter regret, he realized he didn’t have one for her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Back when he was in Lanling and the two of them made pie together, Granny Xiao had told him to do what he wanted. She told him about all of her ventures and past loves. She told him to make some stories he would be eager to tell. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>At the time it made him excited. To be living in Greater Cloud Recesses. To maybe stay for awhile even after graduation. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>To go after something he wanted. To make stories worth telling. With someone he thought interesting and fun enough to make stories with.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he had nothing to tell her. All he had to offer her was helping his friend figure out how to get away with a crime. He couldn’t exactly tell her that. And it wasn’t something he was particularly eager to tell in the future either. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That and thinking he might have liked- like?, liked?, he wasn’t really sure- his best friend and decided to do absolutely nothing to try and figure out what to do with that. He sure as hell wasn’t going to tell her that. He knew she would push him to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> was he supposed to do? Huaisang didn’t want to push things too far and ruin everything. Surely </span>
  <em>
    <span>liking</span>
  </em>
  <span> him was pushing it too far.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>At the same time, why do anything at all and risk having to go through the hassle of fighting his father on the inevitable?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan chewed the inside of his cheek anxiously. Huaisang didn’t want to push things anyways. There really was no point. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked over at Zixuan deep in thought, “Who are you texting,” he whispered so the professor wouldn’t hear him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang motioned to Zixuan’s phone, “You’ve been staring at your phone for like five minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Zixuan focused on the words again. He completely forgot the message he intended to answer. “Zhang Yu.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“She wants to go out tonight,” Zixuan’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard, unmoving. He didn’t know what to even reply with. His mind was completely empty.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang blinked and looked to the front of the classroom. “I didn’t realize you two were still talking.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan locked his phone. He would try to string a thought together later. “Not really…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded in understanding and went back to writing notes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except that he couldn’t focus now. He wanted to know if Zixuan was going to go or not. Maybe it was best that he did… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang couldn’t even wait until the end of class. There were only three minutes left when he took a deep breath in. “Do you want to go out?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked up from his own note taking. He didn’t hear what Huaisang whispered to him. He stared at him blankly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to go out,” he asked again. “With Zhang Yu?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” He didn’t. He wanted a story, but he didn’t think there was one with Zhang Yu. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You should.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t expecting that. He wasn’t sure what he had expected Huaisang to say to him, but it wasn’t that. “... I should?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang shrugged. “Yeah, why not? Do you still like her?” He had no idea why he asked that. He didn’t want to know the answer for once. He used to quietly root for them freshman year. But this was not freshman year. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A lot has happened since then.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Did Zixuan </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> like her? There was never anything between him and Zhang Yu except for bare minimum friendship and general respect for the other.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s alright,” Zixuan found himself saying. Saying ‘yes’ was a flat out lie. And saying ‘no’ carried too much with it. It felt like it implied something now.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was hoping Zixuan would correct him. But he didn’t. It wasn’t fair to think that way when Zixuan literally could not read his mind. He already put it out there though. And Zixuan hadn’t corrected him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go out,” Huaisang nudged him. “Hang out. Have fun,” he smiled at him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright everyone,” their professor finally said. “Remember to check the course page before next class.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell her I said hi,” Huaisang picked up his things before Zixuan could respond. “Text me, and let me know how it went,” he called over his shoulder. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>But Zixuan wasn’t sure he wanted to tell Huaisang anything. Everything felt so ridiculously wrong. More than it ever had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>guilty</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He felt guilty when he saw where his night was going. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt guilty not making things clear; not stopping the direction of things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt guilty just thinking about being touched by anyone else. So much so that when Zhang Yu had inevitably pulled Zixuan close like they had done so often before, he immediately panicked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should not have stayed this long. Not when he realized…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had no idea what he was doing here. He had no idea why he let this happen.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I-,” he stepped away from her. “Sorry. I’m not,” he stopped. He didn’t even know what he was supposed to say.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“O-okay?” She didn’t mind in the slightest but she was surprised. Usually he was quite desperate. She didn’t know that he had been desperate to feel something deeper, not desperate to be touched. “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan excused himself. He needed to get out. He absolutely needed to get out. He needed to go for a long drive. He needed to clear his head.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And he sure as hell took a long drive. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually he pulled into an empty parking lot. He felt like utter shit. He glanced at the time.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hoped Huaisang hadn’t fallen asleep yet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang answered after the third ring. “Zixuan?” He sounded exhausted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan paused a little too long. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed, “I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sat up in his bed and leaned back into the wall. His brow furrowed in worry. “What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Zixuan said again. “Huaisang, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> confused.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Y-... It’s…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang waited.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t want to ruin things. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to tell Huaisang about his call with Granny Xiao. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to tell him how wrong everything felt by acting like he didn’t feel anything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to tell him about how guilty he felt even going out when he knew what Huaisang thought it meant. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to tell him how horrible it felt to even consider kissing anyone who wasn’t him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to tell Huaisang that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the story he wanted to tell people. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked around. He really had no idea. “A parking lot...” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Come over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took Zixuan nearly 45 minutes to get to Huaisang’s house.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He made sure to lock the front door behind him but beelined for Huaisang’s room in the dark. He silently walked into Huaisang’s equally dark room thinking he had fallen back asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Huaisang was worried. He had no intention of even laying back down. He was sitting up against his mountain of pillows, scrolling through his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan crawled into his bed, wrapping his arms around Huaisang. He didn’t want to say anything. Honestly, if Zixuan cried, this would have been one of those moments.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rested his head against Huaisang’s belly, and closed his eyes tightly. His head was spinning. He didn’t even know what him laying here meant.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them said anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang played with Zixuan’s hair absentmindedly, occasionally massaging his fingers down to Zixuan’s nape, rubbing his back when he thought best. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang watched one of his shows on mute on his phone. He got halfway through the third episode when he was going to call it quits for the night. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He believed Zixuan was asleep and had taken the risk to shift just slightly to try and get comfortable. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan loosened his grip on Huaisang and moved so he wasn’t putting as much of his body weight on him. Huaisang glanced down just as Zixuan closed his eyes again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So he was awake.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang brushed his finger lightly over Zixuan’s ear but he didn’t react. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Want some mac and cheese?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan cracked up. “What,” he looked up at Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They both laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So they made mac and cheese as quietly as they could since Mingjue was sleeping. “What the hell is this,” Zixuan held up the box of bow ties. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re out of elbow macaroni,” Huaisang smirked. He knew how much Zixuan hated bow tie pasta. “Sit down,” Huaisang rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan huffed and pulled out his phone. “Oh my god, Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>i’m going to need all of them to go to sleep</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0064"><h2>64. Regal Pec</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you do,” Jiang Cheng asked the </span>
  <em>
    <span>second</span>
  </em>
  <span> Wuxian walked into their apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Breathe?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With Xichen?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang poked his head up from the couch, “For the sake of my well being I need you to give me every detail.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To kill me, or?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s actually interested,” Wen Ning said from the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing down there,” Wuxian dropped his bag onto the floor. “Is everyone here, jeez.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you just tell Huaisang,” Zixuan said from the other side of the couch. “He won’t shut up about it.”  Frankly he was beginning to grow tired of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This 180 you’ve pulled Huaisang,” Wuxian hummed. “I love this development.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve realized that while I really hate the thought of you possibly ever sucking Xichen’s dick, I also realize how scandalous it would be if you did-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-he won’t-” Wen Ning said boredly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Huaisang cupped his hands and held them out, “Spare some details.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Did he say scandalous,” Wuxian asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Indeed,” Zixuan popped a chip in his mouth. “So, spare them.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Wuxian walked to the fridge, “Nothing scandalous here. I heard a dog, I jumped forward. My hand. On his very nice tit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan narrowed his eyes, “How nice?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nice</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice,” he nodded like he even cared. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Lan Qiren saw it too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>With that Wen Ning looked up with a gasp, “No!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng summarized to process the information, “Your filthy hands have touched a regal pec, in front of Lan Qiren’s eyes, and you don’t seem concerned.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan typed away on his phone. Huaisang peeked over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I ran away,” Wuxian shrugged. “Hid behind the front desk of the library. Didn’t move until I was sure he was gone, and Lan Zhan kicked me out.” His phone buzzed. “Who is live texting the freshmen four? Zizhen just asked me about the ‘regal pec’.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan raised his hand,” Me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe your hand grabbed Xichen’s tiddies,” Huaisang muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It was one,” Wuxian corrected. “And while it was the most glorious two seconds of my life, I am mortified.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It couldn’t have been </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad,” Huaisang replied. “Was it a-” he grabbed Zixuan’s chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan, caught off guard, choke on a chip. Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng burst into laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Or was it a-” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Kind of in between,” Wuxian hummed, ignoring Zixuan coughing and failing to get any intelligible words out between. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s eyes watered, his cough turning into laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay,” Wuxian asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng roared in response.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang nearly killed Zixuan,” Wen Ning laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>thats from looking d**** in the eyes</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a mess</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>they didn’t even notice at first ToT</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jingyi was hoping to guilt a rich person again</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0065"><h2>65. i have no idea what to call this one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan rights?</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan rights. </span>
  </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">his brain hurts </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang whined, draping himself over his lap dramatically. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please!!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang squirmed in annoyance. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he raised his voice, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Pllleeeaaaase</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng was sick of Huaisang yelling. “Just buy it for him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or,” Yanli spoke up, “All of you stop buying things when you’re drunk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian messily poured himself another drink. He was both outrageously drunk and distracted by his phone. Yanli had been trying to persuade him to hand over his phone at least three times now. “Why don’t you come show me what you’re looking at,” she patted the space beside her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang yelled out, “Don’t do it! She’s going to take your phone too!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had been showing Zixuan something so stupid and completely unneeded when Yanli confiscated his phone. He had already spent quite a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of money before she realized what he was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan switched out his own drink for water when he realized how utterly stupid his friends were getting. He didn’t want Yanli to have to wrangle them all by herself. And it was about that time that they should all be wrangled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He patted Huaisang’s ass to indicate that he was going to stand up whether or not Huaisang moved. “Alright kids,” he sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan let Wuxian finish his last drink before he even attempted to get him into Yanli’s car. Jiang Cheng fell asleep waiting for them to get Wuxian out of the apartment. Wen Qing probably could’ve scared him into the car much earlier than they managed but she didn’t bother stopping by that night. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning was passed out in the middle of the floor, quietly snoring, his face squished against his arm. Zixuan dropped a blanket over him before turning his attention back to Huaisang who had quieted down once his phone was handed back to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need water?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang brightened, “Yes!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan fetched him a glass and made sure he actually drank it. “Are you sleeping out here?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang ran his hand over the cushions of the couch in consideration. “Hm… No!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s go,” Zixuan pulled Huaisang up to a stand. “Go brush your teeth,” he nudged him towards the bathroom. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What Zixuan was not anticipating was Huaisang crawling out of the bed after Zixuan came back from brushing his own teeth. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang closed the door. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s keep that open, Huaisang,” Zixuan reached around him to open the door again. He had barely pulled it when Huaisang had put his hand out to stop it from going any further. “Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He pouted in response, “Don’t you wanna-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan stopped him. “We didn’t talk about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned, “Zixuan! We never talk about this!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We specifically talked about </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing this. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea. Let’s not do this right now,” he sighed, opening the door. “You should sleep,” he took Huaisang’s hands and walked him back to the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled the blankets back on his usual side of the bed when Huaisang was around. Huaisang crawled in with a pout plastered on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan slept on top of the blankets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>my sisters are the wens and i am zixuan</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Moments before </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan woke up to his phone alarm blaring. He groaned, patting aimlessly in hopes of finding it. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The arm around him tightened in response to the sound. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan carefully grabbed the soft delicate hand to loosen Huaisang’s hold on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned forward for his phone and squinted at the bright screen. “Get up,” he grumbled after a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” The blankets under Zixuan were yanked as Huaisang aggressively turned to his other side. “I’m not going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled out of bed, “I’ll get Wen Ning to haul your ass out-”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang let out a frustrated and dramatic sigh. “I’m up, I’m up,” he stumbled out of the bed. He straightened his clothes and glared at Zixuan. “You fucking suck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep, well,” Zixuan smirked as he walked to his closet. “Works every time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>the last chapter wasn't the only time you'd hear about the regal pecs</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0066"><h2>66. How Are You Two?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Oh god,” Zixuan cringed away from Wen Qing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” she laughed holding out her hand. “It’s not even alive-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he pushed her outstretched arm away from him. “If you told me there would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>bugs</span>
  </em>
  <span> in this store-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s in a frame!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A bug is a bug,” Zixuan stepped away from the display. “Horrifying,” he muttered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How can you spend a whole summer outside, surrounded by bugs,” she set the item down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like the thing they sit on,” Zixuan replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No idea how that realization ever happened.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Zixuan stopped to look at some planters. He added, “And Huaisang has a new found fascination with bees now too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bees?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bees.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Must be hard for you,” Wen Qing mused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was excitable when he decided he liked something. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He would gush to his friends whenever the topic of his interests came up, and of course he was the one to bring it up if it crossed his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t a secret that he particularly </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> to talk about them to Zixuan. For hours if possible and if Zixuan let him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When they were younger and Zixuan’s family spent time in Qinghe, they talked for an entire day just about Huaisang’s collection and the artistry behind the craft of each fan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He did the same exact thing when he started bird watching with one of his cousins. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>to tell Zixuan about all of the different birds he saw and was learning about.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When Huaisang discovered that he very specifically enjoyed costume design when it came to theatre, he spent hours showing Zixuan pictures of pieces he had helped make for his school’s recent production.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When Huaisang realized that poetry was a lot more than he ever gave it credit for, he would send Zixuan links, screenshots, and pictures of anything that he had read that Zixuan might like. Even though Zixuan didn’t read poetry, he took the time to read whatever Huaisang sent him… It wasn’t so bad. Not all the time anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So when Huaisang started reading about anything to do with bees… Well he clearly went to Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And Zixuan wasn’t going to turn him away. It’s not like he didn’t know Zixuan was scared of any and all kinds of bugs. It just took him a moment to remember “Oh wait,” Huaisang had pulled his phone away from Zixuan. “You probably hate this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know about apiculture,” Zixuan had said instead. He didn’t want Huaisang to feel like he couldn’t talk about what made him smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but the pictures,” Huaisang had pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Zixuan had replied. “You can keep going.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced at Wen Qing. “It’s fine. He doesn’t bring it up anymore. Though he was watching a video of bees dancing a few days ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this why he consumes more honey than usual,” Wen Qing asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He found some locally in Lanling,” Zixuan replied. “He has me go pick him up some every once in a while. That and maple candies.” He rolled his eyes, “Huaisang has the worst sweet tooth I have ever seen in my life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>huaisang had no money on him</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>prove it! tell us now!</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>yes huaisang, we are ignoring it</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang ate some chocolate on their way back to GCR. “I’ll talk to Mingjue,” he said to Wen Ning. “No, I feel bad… Hold on,” he pulled out his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a big deal,” Wen Ning shrugged. “Just pay me back when you can.” Wen Ning bought more than just chocolate for Huaisang while they were out. It added up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Despite not even having his card on him, Huaisang didn’t have any money in his checking account and couldn’t pay Wen Ning back with anything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know why his allowance kept getting smaller and smaller every month. Ever since their uncle had suggested a tighter rein on funds, he only sent Mingjue so much. He just didn’t get why his amount kept going down.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to be careful with his money but whenever his allowance came in he always ended up spending it far before the month was over. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Usually on some quality fabrics and materials to make robes, dresses, or costumes. Sometimes they were commissioned so it was okay. Other times, he would make things to try and sell.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He did quite well that way. But sometimes, the timing was off and he was left with nothing for a period of time.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang put his phone down after a few moments. “You’ve been Venmo’d.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have money in your account after all?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Huaisang replied. “Zixuan sent you the money.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You asked Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s easier to ask than Mingjue,” Huaisang pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does he ever say </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> when you ask him for anything that requires money,” Wen Ning asked in amusement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All the time,” Huaisang scrolled through his phone boredly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t seem like it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it doesn’t. But he turns me down all the time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning took the long way back to Huaisang’s house. “How are you two by the way?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Huaisang said with suspicion. “Why,” he looked up from his phone, worried. “Did he say something?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He assumed that he and Zixuan were fine. He really didn’t think anything was wrong. They were okay…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t,” Wen Ning said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re just friends,” Huaisang pointed out nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0067"><h2>67. Ignoring the Parallels</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">the future is bright </span>
</p><p> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at Wuxian in disbelief. “You won’t let me read even </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> email?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“These are between me and Lan Zhan,” Wuxian said seriously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What could you even be </span>
  <em>
    <span>emailing</span>
  </em>
  <span> about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Wuxian scoffed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Zixuan pressed, “I would!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine, here,” Wuxian turned his laptop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned forward excitedly. “You,” he reached out for Wuxian who dodged him. “That is just him replying ‘yes’!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, and?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>challenge failed</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0068"><h2>68. Huaisang's Disastrous Week</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">yikes </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao knew Huaisang’s post was going to cause an issue. It wouldn’t be a big deal if he hadn’t lied across Xichen’s lap to get into the picture. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixun saw the picture. Guangyao was sure that he was the one who sent it to Guangshan. There was no other way for Guangshan to have seen it </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> fast otherwise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangshan was in front of him and this was probably the reddest he has ever seen his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao didn’t bother trying to explain, there was no point in trying to interrupt him. He waited until he was invited to speak. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangshan screamed about the comments that people were making about the photo on Twitter already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sure as hell were analyzing the picture like there was no tomorrow. “I can’t have this on my shoulders! Do you even realize what this will do for the clan? For the University?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re just friends-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just friends? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ha-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangshan’s phone rang. He answered angrily, “Lan Xichen.” Guangyao watched his father try and regain control of his temper. “Tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">keeping his distance </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was having a shit week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue yelled at him. People had spammed in DMs with question after question. He was sure Guangyao </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> Xichen hated him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spent the last few days feeling guilty as all hell. The picture he posted really wasn’t an issue. But of course, a handful of people questioned it simply because Xichen and Guangyao were in it. Had it been Mingjue and Jiang Cheng, no one would care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing was easy when it came to the Lans or Jins. All it took was one person to make nothing into something with them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had spent half an hour on the phone with Guangyao the other day. Just… Talking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt worse when Mingjue told him that Guangyao wasn’t going to be coming to brunch anymore. Not for a while anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has </span>
  <em>
    <span>two</span>
  </em>
  <span> friends,” Huaisang had said to his brother earlier that evening. “Now he can’t see them because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> picture?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has other friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who </span>
  <em>
    <span>suck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang gripped the counter and leaned forward, “He’s horrible when he’s with them!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue paused from putting the dishes away. “... Why do you care about who he talks to?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> care?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, I care,” Mingjue shrugged. “But I can’t make him stop being friends with them. One of them is his cousin after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but,” Huaisang whined in frustration. Mingjue didn’t get it. “Ugh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>nevermind</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he stormed off to his room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t leave his room until Zixuan had come to get him. They had originally planned on going to Jiang Cheng’s while Wuxian was out on his first “date” with Wangji to some open mic night. But Mingjue planned on watching Moana and Zixuan just couldn’t walk away from that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wasn’t particularly thrilled about it at first. He wanted something to focus on that would distract him from what felt like a disastrous week. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had opted for staying in his room right up until he heard Zixuan and Mingjue debating whether Heihei was better than Pua or not. “Obviously it’s Heihei,” Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He plopped down on the couch and pulled his legs up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heihei is stupid,” Mingjue countered. “He tries to eat fucking rocks!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned forward, “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>who </span>
  </em>
  <span>got more screen time? Heihei! King shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang knew he was in trouble when he saw a text message from Zhang Yu pop up on Zixuan’s phone. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His stomach dropped seeing her name on his screen.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Moana leaves Pua behind to </span>
  <em>
    <span>protect</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. She doesn’t give a shit about Heihei,” Mingjue pointed at the screen aggressively.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If she didn’t care about Heihei, why did she save him!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang glanced down at Zixuan’s phone screen as it silently lit up again. Another message from Zhang Yu.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang chewed his bottom lip, fixing his eyes back on the TV screen. When he said he wanted to forget this disastrous week, he didn’t mean by adding yet another thing like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jin Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Mingjue shouted in annoyance. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and watch the movie!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t focus when I know there’s a dumbass sitting five feet away from me, thinking Heihei is better than Pua!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We know nothing about Pua! Of course Heihei is better!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Another text.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was definitely in trouble. Because his heart sank even further when Zixuan picked up to text her back. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was in deep shit.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Unbelievable…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This wasn’t just a crush… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What's wrong with you,” Zixuan looked over at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>telephone</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>so it’s true</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>nhs is genuinely having a bad week</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After seeing his timeline, Zixuan made his way through the bar looking for Huaisang. He came across Guangyao with Wen Chao instead. He didn’t spare Wen Chao a glance, “Huaisang?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao pointed to the corner of the bar.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan apologized his way through a group of people until he saw Huaisang leaning against the bar. “Ah Huaisang, what are you doing? We’re going home.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned, “I don’t want to-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head, “I’m not going home.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then come back to my apartment,” Zixuan held his hand out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pushed his hand away, “No. You were going to Yanli’s-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have to tonight,” Zixuan stopped him. “C’mon Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s eyes welled up, “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” Zixuan frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wiped at his eyes before the tears could even roll down his cheeks. He felt like shit and had practically ignored Zixuan the last couple days on top of it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>coparenting -&gt; h8rs -&gt; coparenting</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan jolted awake to the sound of something crashing. He pushed himself off his couch in a panic to see Huaisang muttering over the sink. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was obvious that Huaisang wanted to be left alone. He had actually asked if he could sleep on the couch but Zixuan wasn’t going to have that. Zixuan insisted that Huaisang sleep in his room while he slept on the couch instead. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang turned around, “Oh… Sorry,” he held up the mug that he must’ve dropped; it was split into two. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Zixuan rubbed his eyes. “I’ll just buy a new one,” he walked into the kitchen as Huaisang tossed the mug into the trash. “Are you feeling alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No. Literally so much no. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t want to go home the previous night because he didn’t want to have to face Mingjue. He wasn’t even sure if he had, but his professor had threatened to tell Mingjue about his failed test that he just got back.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t need to disappoint Mingjue for a second time in a week. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was just making everything so much harder. Because on top of all the things that went wrong this past week, Huaisang was </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying</span>
  </em>
  <span> to find cons to Zixuan that outweighed the pros. But then Zixuan went and offered Huaisang his room and took the couch instead; a pro he didn’t realize was even a pro. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Huaisang sighed. “I’m fine. Just messing things up,” he fake laughed. “I should go tho-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stopped him from the leaving the kitchen, “Huaisang… Are you sure you’re okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang could see in Zixuan’s face that he was concerned. He didn’t really want to lie to him. He just silently shook his head instead of getting into everything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan responded. He hummed. “Do you want chocolate chip pancakes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned and whined, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeeeees</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>inspired</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okay, Huaisang with his back pressed against Zixuan’s chest was a little outside what would be deemed a normal cuddle for their TV watching. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But how they were cuddled up on the couch was not what was throwing Huaisang into a personal crisis. It wasn’t even Zixuan’s arm over his waist. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was Zixuan holding his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The moment Zixuan wrapped his arm around Huaisang and laced their fingers together was the moment Huaisang stopped paying attention to the show. He was hyper fixated on the fact that Zixuan was </span>
  <em>
    <span>holding his fucking hand</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’know you’d make a good boyfriend,” Huaisang muttered during a particularly dull scene.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, I would, wouldn’t I,” Zixuan joked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang scoffed and hit Zixuan’s knee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said it first,” Zixuan chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well, who would’ve known daddy could have such amazing potential-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my god</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan groaned. “Stop!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If we were dating you’d call me baby,” Huaisang added with an amused smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I literally would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan denied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you would,” Huaisang shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan said stubbornly. “I definitely wouldn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s try it out; go on, call me baby-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They both laughed. </span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hung up his phone call with Yanli and walked straight into the Nie residence with a large paper bag under his arm like he owned the place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mingjue,” he greeted the man in the living room, entirely uninterested in his presence. They were both still annoyed about the Hei Hei vs. Pua debate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sat up in his bed when Zixuan sauntered in. He was surrounded by papers and books, his laptop propped up on a mess of blankets, “Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have,” Zixuan set down the bag on Huaisang’s chair and listed each item as he set them down, “Noodles, four kinds of soda, a bottle of water, a carton of your favorite ice cream, two chocolate bars - there were three but I ate one, I’m not sorry - and this!” He pulled out a vanilla scented candle. “It was on sale and you said yours was almost gone the other day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pouted, “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re sad,” Zixuan tossed the old candle on Huaisang’s desk into the trash to make room for the new one. It made him feel better, but not any better about how he felt about Zixuan. “If you don’t want any of it, I’ll just take it home-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang smirked, “-Daddy-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-STOP.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0069"><h2>69. Midterms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">an idiot sandwich </span>
</p><p>  <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">still on this </span>
</p><p> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wuxian is an idiot sandwich </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Four tests, and two papers,” Huaisang shook Wen Ning. “You’re not special, Wen Ning!” He paused and cupped Wen Ning’s cheeks. “I’m so sorry. You’re very special. That was out of line.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let go of Wen Ning,” Zixuan sighed. “And stop yelling. I’m trying to study. Classic Lit might actually get me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang let go of Wen Ning, “You say that every time you do Classic Lit. You do fine on every assignment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glared, “Well it’s going to bite me in the ass now because I can’t focus, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am not apologizing,” Huaisang sat back down at the table. “I have no idea what I’m doing right now. I don’t get this. I’m stressed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your brother </span>
  <em>
    <span>runs</span>
  </em>
  <span> the Political Science department,” Wen Ning reminded him. “Just ask him for help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No thanks,” Huaisang shook his head. “I have a self-imposed limit on how many times I can approach him with questions in a month.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan spoke up from his book, “That’s a you-problem that I don’t care about. If you won’t ask the man who actually has all the answers, then-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-Zixuan,” Wen Ning spoke up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What,” he snapped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have a Snickers,” he tossed Zixuan a candy bar. “And shut the fuck up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang scoffed, “You’re so grouchy today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s midterms, let me be sleep deprived and pissed off,” Zixuan grumbled over his notebook.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Survived midterms but at what cost,” Huaisang dropped down onto Wen Ning’s bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look like you need a nap,” Wen Ning stated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang fake cried, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I doooo</span>
  </em>
  <span>,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Wen Ning passed him a giant penguin to hold on to. “Take a nap.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard ‘nap’,” Zixuan poked his head in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Welcome to Wen Ning’s Nap Party,” Wen Ning held up a fluffy penguin. “Complimentary penguin?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why thank you,” Zixuan grabbed it and crawled into the bed beside Wen Ning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wuxian will be here in half an hour,” Wen Ning replied. “Leave room for him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He can sleep at the foot of the bed,” Zixuan rolled over and hid his face in the fluffy penguin stuffie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang shushed them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0070"><h2>70. A Good Chaos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Huaisang wiggled his toes until the blanket covered his feet. “Can I just move in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what,” Zixuan put his phone down. “Sleep on the couch?” Not that he’d ever let that happen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning took a sip of his tea. “You could always keep your clothes in the cupboard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pointed out, “This apartment is huge. You literally have a third bedroom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning and Zixuan looked at each other. “It’s Wen Ning’s second room,” Zixuan responded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you even need two rooms for,” Huaisang asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning blinked. “Have you noticed that no one has ever stepped into that room?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan looked back at his phone. “There’s a reason for that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does that even mean? Isn’t it empty?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” they both answered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang stood up, “What the hell is in there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You already know it’s locked,” Zixuan said, scrolling through Twitter. “Don’t bother.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang demanded, “Wen Ning, unlock the door.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I can’t,” he replied honestly. “... Zixuan has the key!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked up in disbelief, “Now that’s a lie. Don’t set him on me like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang huffed, “I don’t know what’s happening,” he pointed at them, “But I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> find out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s not much to find out,” Wen Ning laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Have fun with that though,” Zixuan added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If I figure out what you’re hiding, can I have the room?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” they both replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t though,” Zixuan stretched. “Well I’m going to bed. In my room. Because I live here. Huaisang leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I literally hate you,” he grumbled as Zixuan walked by him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan called down the hall, “Pretty sure you don’t!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning averted his eyes when Huaisang looked at him. He took a long sip from his cup. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning can I stay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning pursed his lips in thought. “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>making guesses</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>ngl the three of them love to torment him</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing stood beside them, arms crossed, with the biggest smile on her face as it went down. She patted Zixuan’s shoulder, “That’s rough, buddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the rejection, Movie Night wasn’t ruined. He got rejected by Yanli </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> the time. It’s turned into something of a joke between them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She thought it was quite funny when Zixuan asked. And Zixuan thought it was quite funny when Yanli kindly declined. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Things felt… Normal for a moment as the night fell into its typical chaos. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t fuck it up Wuxian,” Zixuan whispered seriously in the middle of their living room flashmob. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>There was a terrible</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wen Ning said quietly; everyone eyed Wuxian. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>CRASH</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” they all aggressively whispered, Wuxian whacking two pans together a second behind them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on</span>
  <em>
    <span>,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>they all groaned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan yelled, “You have </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> job!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian yelled back in defense, “It takes practice!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“All you have to do is slam two pans together,” Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to take the weight into consideration,” Wuxian countered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan stressed, “So take it into consideration and fucking get it right!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He tried his best,” Yanli offered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You said that last time,” Wen Qing pointed out, munching on a pretzel. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli whispered, “I’m not sure he’ll ever get it though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that,” Wuxian asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>She said</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jiang Cheng raised his voice, “She’s not sure you’ll ever get it!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’know what,” Wuxian put the pans down. “I quit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang spoke up, “Your job?” He pointed to the pans, “Or your </span>
  <em>
    <span>job</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I quit this family,” Wuxian deadpanned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan ate a chip, “Good riddance. Someone pass me the pans; start the song over.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laughed and restarted the song.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was what Huaisang needed. It reminded him so much of the one they had several summers ago in Qinghe. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <a href="https://t.co/BeXWb8RuM7?amp=1">
    <em>
      <span>I don’t blame you, for being you</span>
    </em>
  </a>
  <span>,” Wen Ning had practically screamed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>But you can’t blame me for hating it</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan sang into the remote. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>So, say, what are you waiting for, kiss her, kiss her-”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Wuxian jumped, full of energy. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was the first time Huaisang had seen Zixuan interact with Wuxian and Wen Ning so positively without any real clash in sight. It was some time after Zixuan started acknowledging that Wuxian wasn’t as asinine as he believed and when Wuxian admitted that Zixuan wasn’t as pompous as he thought he was. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And well Wen Ning and Wuxian were incredibly close so by association, Zixuan had brushed him off quite often too. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Until that night in Qinghe. The first Monday Movie Night. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Turns out the three of them were all quite angsty, but beyond that they had a weird level of understanding when it came to each other despite their different backgrounds and experiences. To their core, they understood one another near perfectly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So now Huaisang was watching the three of them singing some pop punk songs and dancing around dramatically and he couldn’t help but laugh at the image. He couldn’t even imagine what would have happened to their friend group if Zixuan and Wuxian never ended up becoming friends. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Chaos.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But not the good kind. Not the movie night kind of chaos. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And damn… Movie night could get quite chaotic. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng knew very well just how fast the night could take a wild turn. He specifically got kicked out of Yanli’s apartment last time after he, might add: </span>
  <em>
    <span>accidentally</span>
  </em>
  <span>, dumped a bowl of noodles on her couch. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe don’t have a white couch,” Jiang Cheng had said before begging for forgiveness at the look Yanli gave him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The good chaos.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That’s one of the things about this group of friends. They could let their walls down and act as stupid and unfiltered at possible when it was just them. There was no need to pretend anything. They were just there to have a good time, and not care what anyone else thought of them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After a disastrous movie night with some unamended arguments, they had all agreed to work through any disagreements before getting together like this. If they were unable to, they couldn’t come. Because movie nights were for good things only. No seriously snide comments. No ill wishes. No fights.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No negativity. To the best of their ability. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While there was never any real judgment between them during these nights, sometimes things did get a little questionable. And some things just couldn’t be ignored.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That’s how Jiang Cheng and Zixuan figured out something may have been going on between Yanli and Wen Qing before they ever really knew for sure. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That’s how Wuxian and Huaisang found out they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> compatible. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And that’s how eyes started to turn towards Zixuan and Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Because some walls were lowered a little too far...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng choked on his drink, staring wide eyed at Huaisang straddling Zixuan on the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan 100% had his hands on Huaisang’s hips, and Jiang Cheng kind of felt like he was hallucinating. “Dude,” Jiang Cheng said quietly. “That’s like… </span>
  <em>
    <span>kind of </span>
  </em>
  <span>weird right?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian blinked. He leaned to the side a bit but… They were just talking and laughing about something… “I mean… They usually hang all over each other?” It didn’t look too strange to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But then again he missed the moment where Huaisang had actually sat on Zixuan’s lap, and the way Zixuan looked at Huaisang's lips.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang took Zixuan’s phone, “I’ll show you!!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng hummed as they fought to hold the phone… Maybe he did make it up…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Except well… Yanli saw it too.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli tilted her head. “Hey, Wen Ning,” she nudged him while Wen Qing dried a dish.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He looked away from his sister, still laughing, “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli motioned to Zixuan and Huaisang. She spoke quietly, “What do you know about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning looked over, “About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning took a second but shrugged. “Nothing?” He returned his focus back to the dishes before him but remained quiet as Wen Qing continued to ramble. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli took note of Wen Ning’s sudden silence and looked back to Zixuan and Huaisang. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0071"><h2>71. Huaixuan and Wangxian</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">huaisang writing differently bc hes mad </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">he beg </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">cute </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>Zixuan had finished his assignments and in a spur of the moment, decided to drive to Huaisang’s for the evening while Wen Ning was working with Wuxian at Lotus Root. </p><p> </p><p>Mingjue was just about to close the door on his way out when he saw Zixuan pull up. He reached around and unlocked the door again before closing it.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan hopped out of his car and nodded to Mingjue. “Hey-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m getting something to eat; want anything?”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan pursed his lips. “No, I’m alright.” They walked by each other, “Oh wait! If you see gummy bears-”</p><p> </p><p>“Got it,” Mingjue called over his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang didn’t know Zixuan was coming so he didn’t bother changing into real people clothes. He had fully intended on eating take out while struggling through his assignment for the rest of the day. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you forget already,” Huaisang looked up when his door opened again, assuming it was Mingjue. “Oh. Hi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, what’re you doing,” Zixuan crawled over him and his books and settled down against the wall. </p><p> </p><p>“Writing the Classic Lit paper,” Huaisang rubbed his eye tiredly. “It’s… all over the place.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure it’s okay,” Zixuan pulled one of Huaisang’s extra pillows into his arms. </p><p> </p><p>“I might have you read it after if that’s alright.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fine.” Zixuan knew the paper would be okay. Huaisang usually had difficulty with the Classic Lit papers because he had too much that he wanted to talk about. </p><p> </p><p>“You look exhausted,” Huaisang chuckled, picking up his book again to look for a quote. </p><p> </p><p>“Mn.” Zixuan hadn’t slept well the night before because he had fallen behind on his Politics &amp; War readings and needed to catch up fast as Mingjue had recently started calling on students out of the blue. </p><p> </p><p>It was a good thing he had because Mingjue was constantly calling on Zixuan earlier that day. </p><p> </p><p>“Go ahead and sleep,” Huaisang told him. Zixuan pouted. He felt bad taking a nap while Huaisang was working. “You can sleep, it’s okay.” Zixuan didn’t reply. Huaisang looked at him to see the pout still on his face. He laughed, “It’s <em> okay </em>. I’ll be working on this for a while. I’m only on page 2.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan mumbled incoherently but closed his eyes anyways. </p><p> </p><p>By the time Mingjue came back, Zixuan was passed out. </p><p> </p><p>Mingjue walked into Huaisang’s room, “Is he asleep?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Huaisang looked up from his laptop. </p><p> </p><p>Mingjue tossed a bag of gummy bears. Huaisang caught them and placed them beside Zixuan. “Are you eating in here?”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang shook his head, “I’ll be out in just a second, I just want to finish this paragraph.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright,” Mingue nodded. </p><p> </p><p>Mingjue was getting used to seeing Zixuan around more than usual. He knew the two of them were best friends, and were practically inseparable to begin with. But if Huaisang wasn’t at his apartment, Zixuan was here. He wasn’t sure there was a day they hadn’t seen each other off of campus. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang shuffled out of his room tiredly. He had left Zixuan asleep in his bed, and turned the light off before leaving. “Thank you for getting dinner.” </p><p> </p><p>“How’s the paper?”</p><p> </p><p>“Almost done,” Huaisang sighed in relief, sitting at the table. “I’m already a page over the limit though so,” he frowned. “I’ll have to fix it after.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can do it,” Mingjue leaned back in the chair. “Do that tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Huaisang agreed. “It’s not due until tomorrow night anyways.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is Zixuan going to stay the night?”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang shook his head, “No, probably not… Do you want to watch a movie later?”</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> come back here </span> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> some things can't be lived down </span> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> demon grip </span> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> making no effort himself </span> </p><p> <br/><br/></p><p><span class="u"> ignoring zixuan </span> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan whined, “Can you pay attention to me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, sorry,” Huaisang put his phone down. </p><p> </p><p>“Were you listening,” Zixuan asked. </p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan groaned. </p><p> </p><p>“If it’s about Yanli, I don’t want to listen to you today; you’ve been going nonstop,” Huaisang picked up his phone again, crossing his legs.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan rolled around on the bed in a Huaisang-esque manner. “Did you really ignore me for the past ten minutes?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yep,” Huaisang scrolled through his timeline. “I didn’t know you were talking about something else.” Huaisang’s ability to actually block out whatever was going on around him was quite extraordinary. He used it most around his uncle and other clan leaders. When he decided he was done listening to someone he would completely block them out as if they weren’t even there.</p><p> </p><p>“You’d know if you <em> listened </em>,” Zixuan pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang reached over Zixuan and grabbed his phone to turn up the music. He never took his eyes off Zixuan. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan narrowed his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <a href="https://t.co/eSrf80vpsc?amp=1">What a day, what a day, what a morning, when I realize.</a>  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I was cautious but I’m guilty, I’m in love.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang dropped back into Zixuan’s stupidly expensive but wildly comfortable pillows and turned his attention back to his phone. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan picked up his phone and typed out the lyrics.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang looked back at Zixuan. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan sang out in faux desperation, “<em> Take me, take me, take me back!” </em></p><p> </p><p>Huaisang rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic.”</p><p> </p><p>“You only respond to dramatics.” He sat up, “Did you really ignore everything I said?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I did,” Huaisang answered.</p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang gave him a pointed look.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, yeah, yeah,” Zixuan got up and shuffled across the room, “I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“And yet you keep going.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning poked his head through the door at that moment, “It’s 11pm,” he pointed out. </p><p> </p><p>“Ugh,” Huaisang immediately went limp. </p><p> </p><p>“Take him,” Zixuan nodded to Wen Ning. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go,” Wen Ning strolled in, beelining to Huaisang. </p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on,” Wen Ning sighed and picked up the small, but suddenly heavy, Huaisang.</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Cooperate,” Wen Ning grunted, tossing him over his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bye Huaisang,” Zixuan called, not sparing a second glance. </p><p> </p><p>“I resent you both!”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan smirked. </p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> every week </span> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> thy </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, Wuxian really has it bad,” Zixuan said to Wen Qing. He propped his phone up and continued putting his laundry away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing didn’t disagree, “He really likes the cheekies.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing had called Zixuan per Yanli’s request to update him on the Wangji and Wuxian storyline. It was so obvious that he liked him if he went to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Xichen</span>
  </em>
  <span> for advice before going to take care of a sick Wangji.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he heard his name being called from the other side of the apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning was home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want more updates when they happen,” Zixuan picked up his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” Wen Qing waved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>This was sitting outside for you… Zixuan?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What,” Zixuan yelled from his room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop yelling, god,” Wen Qing glared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Package</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wen Ning yelled back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan padded down the hallway, “Okay, whatever. I have to go. I’ll text you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing tossed up a peace sign and hung up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning asked curiously, “Who was that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your sister,” Zixuan walked over to the package. “Yanli asked her to give me an update.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“On what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh this came fast,” Zixuan cut into the box. “And Wuxian and Wangji,” he answered Wen Ning’s question.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing already told Wen Ning. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was on the same page that Wuxian had a </span>
  <em>
    <span>massive</span>
  </em>
  <span> crush on Wangji, no matter how much he continued to deny it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that,” he pointed to the boxes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s for Huaisang,” Zixuan replied, pulling the contents out. “He said he wanted these.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning looked through everything. “Snacks… I love snacks,” he said in tiny. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smirked, “I already ordered you some too. They should be coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning smiled to himself happily, “Oh good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>snacks</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0072"><h2>72. Starting Shit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Wuxian was late for work. He was supposed to meet his brother in the quad so he could get the keys. The two minute wait wasn’t supposed to be ten minutes. In that time he could’ve walked and made it on time, maybe five minutes late- tops.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So now he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> walking. Thankfully Yanli didn’t seem too upset that he was now probably going to be half an hour late for work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was doing so well </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> falling back into his habits that he had in Yunmeng. He didn’t want to do that here. He wanted to be present. He didn’t want to make excuses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately for him, he was going to be late. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And this time, part of the problem lied with Wen Chao. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Chao always wanted to meet Wei Wuxian in person. He almost did the day he saw him outside of his apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes it was a curse living so close to Wuxian; he was so loud. In many ways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now Wuxian was walking straight towards him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why let the opportunity pass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wei Wuxian,” he smirked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian looked up from his phone, “I’m sorry, do I know you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced between Wen Chao and Jin Zixun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew Zixun’s face well enough but he couldn’t recall ever speaking to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re neighbors,” Wen Chao pointed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s unfortunate.” Wuxian corrected, “-That we haven’t met that is.” He paused, “Sorry, how do you know me though?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixun scoffed, “You’re kidding right?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m… I’m really not,” he blinked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned the corner to see Wuxian with his cousin and, of all people, Wen Chao. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well that can’t be good.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to wipe that stupid smirk off your face,” Wuxian added.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan moved towards them; he called, “Wei Wuxian!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian didn’t turn around. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Zixuan,” Zixun turned to him. “You might want to tell your… friend, to calm down. People are talking, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe people should mind their own fucking business,” Wuxian offered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced around the tense bodies, “I don’t know what’s going on, but-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on,” Wuxian spit out, “Is your ass kissing cousin and this sociopath think they can dictate my life because it makes them uncomfortable-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-You-” Wen Chao scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t fucking speak to me,” Wuxian laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at Zixun seriously, “Just keep walking.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Zixun raised his hands in innocence. “Not looking for any trouble-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, bullshit,” Wuxian stepped towards him only to be stopped by Zixuan’s arm. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was not going to let Wuxian mess with his cousin. Not because he cared about his cousin getting hit in the slightest. But he cared about how his cousin would retaliate against him. What Wuxian didn’t need, was getting in some sort of battle with a Jin. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go,” Zixuan said firmly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian didn’t move until Zixun and Wen Chao walked off, muttering and snickering to themselves. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He angrily shoved Zixuan off of him and kept going. He was fucking late. Even more than he already was. Because of those fucking idiots. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wuxian,” Zixuan followed Wuxian into the cafe. “Wuxian-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” he warned Zixuan. “If you heard what they said-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wei Wuxian,” Zixuan lowered his voice. He didn’t need to know what Zixun and Wen Chao said to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What Wuxian was feeling right now was incredibly validated in his mind. He was more than positive that Zixun and Wen Chao probably deserved to get cussed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he really couldn’t let Wuxian fuck with Zixun. He wasn’t sure about Wen Chao entirely, but he knew exactly the resources Zixun had to fuck with a person. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t come in here yet if you’re going to be like this. Walk out of Lotus Root until you’ve calmed down.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A few heads were already turning towards them in curiosity. The energy around Wuxian was dark and fueled with anger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s take a walk,” Zixuan suggested. Wuxian didn’t move right away. He was late. “Let’s go. Don’t do this in here.” Zixuan glanced over Wuxian’s shoulder as Yanli walked out of the back of Lotus Root. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met. Yanli could sense that something was wrong with Wuxian. Zixuan gave her a small nod and quickly led Wuxian out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>individually or?</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>they're the infuriating kind of stupid</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I repeat,” Huaisang huffed, pulling himself into the car. “I really hate Zixun. He’s such a fucking dick.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pulled away from the curb. “I wish I could </span>
  <em>
    <span>properly</span>
  </em>
  <span> tell him off.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“When you’re clan leader you can,” Huaisang pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That… Is a very good point.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems promising now doesn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The only pro to becoming clan leader,” Zixuan nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I kind of want to piss him off now,” Huaisang admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no, you don’t,” Zixuan chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Indirectly,” Huaisang corrected himself. “Just go and do my Huaisang thing around him and get on his last nerves.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you intend to do that? Find one of his few friends that he has and try to hook up with them?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The second the words left his mouth he felt like shit. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that’s exactly what Huaisang had implied, but saying it out loud made it feel like a real possibility. He absolutely did not want Huaisang doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> with anyone else. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And Huaisang did mean exactly that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second the words left Zixuan’s mouth he realized how it might look. Like he </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> planned on doing that. Maybe he would’ve done that a couple years ago; he would’ve been petty enough to do it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But not now. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Because now there was Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t even kissed anyone else since he realized how Zixuan made him feel; how good it was to be with Zixuan. Huaisang wasn’t dumb. He knew that wasn’t the case for Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t need to tell him. He knew.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But regardless of that, Huaisang didn’t want Zixuan to think he’d ever consider someone else when it really came down to it...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well shit. He wasn’t sure he could answer Zixuan’s question or not. He didn’t know how Zixuan would read into either answer. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wanted to jump out of the car. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang reacted quite fast though; he laughed and waved his hand, “Listen when are you next at Carp Tower?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Zixuan was thrown off by the question. “This weekend?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Here’s what you should do,” Huaisang leaned towards Zixuan excitedly. Honestly bless his ability to pretend. Give him an Oscar. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He listed off everything Zixuan should do. Everything he should say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan just listened to him. Attempted anyway. He was trying to ignore the awful split second that followed his question. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just lay it on thick,” Huaisang sat up straight again. “Pretend some officials are coming by. Be </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jin Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Noted.” Zixuan turned down a street that would eventually take them back in the direction they came from. “Sorry I didn’t come for our study…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t say date- “</span>
  </em>
  <span>...ing…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang knew Zixuan was 100% about to say ‘date’. “It’s alright,” he shrugged. “Wuxian is more important.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0073"><h2>73. Spying on Wangxian</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">they're all so nosy </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">spying </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang and Zixuan were watching anime with Wen Ning while they waited for some sort of sign of life text from Wen Qing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it was taking ages.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning had fallen asleep in the armchair about an episode ago, using one of his penguin stuffies as a pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had been laying on top of Zixuan and was still partially draped over him, but had since fallen in the space between Zixuan and the back cushions of the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had one arm around Huaisang, the other covering his eyes from the overhead lights. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had fallen asleep about fifteen minutes ago, too tired to even care about staying awake for an update. Huaisang had noticed when the arm around him had slipped slightly. He had been idly drawing patterns in the blanket covering Zixuan’s waist up until then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was so tired from the day himself, but he didn’t want to fall asleep yet until Wen Qing texted them. He was too invested to give in to sleep like the other two. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With impeccable timing, Huaisang picked his phone up just as Wen Qing texted their group chat. He yelled in excitement, launching himself off of Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>Zixuan and Wen Ning both violently jerked awake at the sudden noise, Wen Ning yelled in shock. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fucking hell</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan sighed and dropped his head back down, clutching his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>spying continues</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wuxian dumb</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Wen Ning sighed after some more anime watching and talking about how stupid Wuxian was. “It’s 11:45-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Come </span>
  <em>
    <span>on</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang groaned. “I’m tired. You’re tired,” he pointed to Wen Ning.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll drive you home then,” Zixuan yawned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m willing to bargain,” Huaisang said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You have nothing to bargain with,” Wen Ning pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You both sleep instead of driving me home </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> waiting up for me to order a Lyft and get home in one piece,” Huaisang offered. “I sleep right here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“On the couch.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” Zixuan pushed himself up tiredly. “I’ll get you a pillow.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0074"><h2>74. Jiang Cheng Is Watching</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was Anime Night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning looked forward to Anime Nights with Jiang Cheng. Typically it was every week, but back when they were roommates it was just about every other day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t like Monday Movie Nights with their friends. It was quieter, for starters. But it was generally just a time for them to do what they wanted while they had some show playing in the background for them to occasionally react to together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning finished his homework a little while ago and was getting a little sleepy trying to pay attention to the TV. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng was aimlessly scrolling through his phone, occasionally glancing up to see what was happening in the scene. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was normal for them. A quiet night, no pressure to talk or entertain each other. Just two bros watching some anime like they used to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then there was the scream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning jerked awake, instinctively covering his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng immediately went to Wuxian’s room to make sure he was okay after he went absolutely silent. “What is wrong with you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian yelled, “He used to fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>dance!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You made Wen Ning cry,” Jiang Cheng pointed out in annoyance, snatching Wuxian’s phone. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian rambled like a madman about Wangji while Jiang Cheng nonchalantly texted him back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a second scream</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning were huddled together now in Jiang Cheng’s room. Wen Ning was always pretty anxious for a long time whenever something woke him the way Wuxian did. Whether it was someone yelling, music, or a loud action scene from whatever he was watching… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It stressed him out. A lot. He didn’t even have a loud alarm for the morning. It was so quiet that Zixuan often questioned if he even used one.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng played with Wen Ning’s hair knowing he was still feeling a little on edge. Not that Wen Ning really minded that Wuxian was so excited but it was still stressful. Especially when he screamed for the second time. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>He said he’d dance with me</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian yelled through the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning grumbled, “Why is everyone around me sickeningly in love and they don’t even realize it? Loud too,” he huffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng paused and narrowed his eyes. “...Spill…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning mentally slapped himself. “Nothing. Just saying.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oops… Damn,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Wen Ning could not believe himself. A year of knowing what was going on between two of his friends, and he let it slip…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Then again, he was fairly positive that Yanli suspected something… And well… If Wuxian and Jiang Cheng completely missed it, especially after their last movie night… That was completely on them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nooo,” Jiang Cheng sat up. “Who are you talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng had a good idea. He’s wondered what was going on. He and Wuxian had pondered it together but eventually dropped the topic.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No one,” Wen Ning replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing to tell?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng pursed his lips. He was definitely talking about Zixuan and Huaisang… He must know </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> and was asked to keep quiet. There’s no way Wen Ning wouldn’t have said something if he wasn’t just speculating like the rest of them. Unless... “Well you can’t mean Yanli and Wen Qing because they’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>been</span>
  </em>
  <span> dating.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng smirked, “Oh my god, is it </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wen Ning choked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not in love with you sorry,” Jiang Cheng joked. “Are you in l-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-</span>
  <em>
    <span>Do I look like</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had no idea how he got into this conversation with Jiang Cheng. They were doing their homework and nothing seemed out of the ordinary to Zixuan until Jiang Cheng started asking about Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t realize he had to lie about why he kept picking up his phone. He made a mental note to not mention he was texting Huaisang next time he was asked when someone wore </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> look on their face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t reading a single thing on the screen before him now. He glanced up, “Sorry, what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said: you guys just seem closer than you used to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Yeah? That tends to happen the longer you’re friends with someone?” Zixuan scoffed and dropped his phone back between his leg and the armrest of the couch. He didn’t want Jiang Cheng to look at him like this anymore when he saw his screen light up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang sure has been clingier though,” Jiang Cheng said so pointedly nonchalant that it was no longer nonchalant. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, and grass is green,” Zixuan brushed it off.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Isn’t the phrase, ‘water is wet’?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Water is not wet. You can’t get water wet. Water… wets things-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not having this conversation with you,” Jiang Cheng scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then don’t bring it up?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t! I’m talking about Huaisang!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan rolled his eyes and looked back to his laptop. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please stop, please stop, please stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes back, “I’m just saying you’re acting different.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m actually not.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I meant both of you,” Jiang Cheng asked. “Simultaneously-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-What are you getting at, Jiang Cheng,” Zixuan snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That was not what he meant to say.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That would open up conversations. Conversations he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> ready to have. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just asking what’s going on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing going on,” Zixuan said immediately. There shouldn’t be anything going on. And for the most part there wasn’t much going on now… It wasn’t a </span>
  <em>
    <span>complete</span>
  </em>
  <span> lie... </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just asking, damn you’re so defensive,” Jiang Cheng grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’d be like me asking what’s going on between you and Wen Ning.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That is… fundamentally different,” Jiang Cheng replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it?” Zixuan challenged. </span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng ran into their apartment. “I think we were right!” He skidded to a halt. “What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian was sprawled out in the middle of the floor, arms and legs widespread. “Just staring at the ceiling. What were we right about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan and Huaisang!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian scrambled to sit up. “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I asked Zixuan-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-</span>
  <em>
    <span>You didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-</span>
  <em>
    <span>I did</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-Why-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-Because of the vibe I got from something Wen Ning said to me,” Jiang Cheng sat on the floor beside his brother. “So I asked him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And he said there was?” Wuxian was wide eyed. That seemed wildly out of character for Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Jiang Cheng answered. Wuxian deflated. “But remember how he acted when you last asked him that, back in high school?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Wuxian started slowly. “Because he kissed Huaisang. He said it was literally just because he wanted him to shut up about not being kissed. He was so neutral about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, </span>
  <em>
    <span>well </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was very defensive about it this time-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably because you wouldn’t drop it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...” Jiang Cheng hesitated. “Okay, maybe, but let’s revisit everything shall we?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... We shall.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng pulled a notebook out and started scribbling everything he thought he knew down. “We have: Monday Movie Night. We have: constantly coughing up money. We have: presents. We have: …”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang always drapes his legs over Zixuan’s?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng blinked. “Does that count if that’s always happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean if that’s the case do we count the daddy thing?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian hummed. “No, that feels different.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jc harassed zixuan</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’ll probably eat in a bit, Jiang Cheng. Don’t worry about it right now,” Wen Qing wrapped the blanket around herself. “He’s working really hard on his paper,” Wen Qing called. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Love a studious Wei Wuxian,” Zixuan picked fuzzies off his blanket absentmindedly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you here, Zixuan,” Jiang Cheng dropped down into the armchair. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I was invited?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No you weren’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at Wen Qing to back him up. “I told him he could come,” she shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It was supposed to be our Zumbo’s Just Desserts night,” Jiang Cheng whined.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, turns out Zixuan loves Zumbo,” Wen Qing laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>GOD</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan hit the arm of the couch in excitement. “When I saw there was a season 2? I practically threw the remote trying to get Wen Ning’s attention. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Do you know how long I have waited for this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m willing to overlook how stupidly annoying you are for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your excitement cancels out my initial disappointment in you being here,” Jiang Cheng responded.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m used to being a disappointment,” Zixuan shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The microwave beeped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does everyone want their own bowl,” Jiang Cheng went to grab the popcorn. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, please,” the two called. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t Yanli come,” Zixuan asked. “Doesn’t she like baking shows?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, the Great British Bake Off-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Valid-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And Nailed It, of all things,” Wen Qing shook her head. “Zumbo’s doesn’t keep her attention apparently.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry… Zumbo’s doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>keep her attention</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but Nailed It does?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me,” Jiang Cheng called. “I like Nailed It too… But Zumbo’s is superior.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A Jiang with good taste,” Wen Qing replied, “We love to see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re in love with the wrong Jiang,” Zixuan said, grabbing his bowl of popcorn from JC. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree,” JC joked. “No offense to my sister,” he turned to the TV.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing rolled her eyes, “You’re both annoying,” she tossed a few pieces of popcorn at them both. “You’re just jealous.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” both sighed and shoved popcorn into their mouths. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>well... he WAS still talking to jc but now</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span><span class="u">best friend</span><br/> <br/> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0075"><h2>75. Dads</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Huaisang was sitting in his bed, his laptop resting on his legs. He had just finished reading a post from one of Mingjue’s old friends. She was a new mother and was boasting about her baby and the smallest things. How tiny she was, her small hand holding onto her finger, her eyes, her little hair wispies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was completely in love with her child. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked down at Zixuan who was half propped up by pillows beside him, legs crossed, foot bouncing. He absentmindedly chewed his bottom lip while watching something on his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He almost didn’t want to bother asking. He knew it would seem like it came from nowhere. Maybe Zixuan would laugh at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He asked anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever think about having kids?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan locked his phone and looked up. He processed the question but, “What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Having them, adopting them,” Huaisang shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan paused and pulled his earbud out. “I have.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang motioned for him to continue, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>And</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He put his phone down and folded his hands over his belly. He shrugged. He wasn’t really sure what Huaisang wanted him to add. “I don’t know I’d just really like to be a dad someday.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Little yous running around.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smirked, “Yeah… You?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They never talked about kids before. Huaisang never even saw Zixuan around children, and he wasn’t sure he ever saw him react to anything kid related. Unlike Wuxian who always cooed and gushed about the little beans running around. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had thought Zixuan was indifferent to them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he closed his laptop. “I don’t think I’d be a good dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan frowned with concern, “Why would you say that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty incompetent,” he pointed out with a humorless laugh. “I doubt I would be any good with any part of it. I don’t even know how to act around children.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you’d make a good dad,” Zixuan countered. “If you wanted to have kids that is.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... You do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How can you be sure that I wouldn’t fuck something up?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Zixuan started, “Being a parent wouldn’t be a breeze. I mean I’d probably fuck up too if I was ever a parent. As long as I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>dad, then it’s a win. But I think you would be really great. You have a really big heart. You know how to comfort people. You’re incredibly smart, dedicated, and talented.  And you put your all into… well everything. It’s admirable.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hummed. “I guess I just need to find someone to husband up who thinks so too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan chuckled, “You will.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Our kids could be friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan silently vowed to himself to not raise his children the same way Guangshan raised him. “Mhm.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“While the thought of our kids being best friends is fun, I’m still not sold. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But</span>
  </em>
  <span> I would make a kickass uncle.” He paused. “Make </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> to tell your kids that </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> the cool uncle and not Wuxian. I want them to come to me for fun stuff first.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be sure.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0076"><h2>76. Everyone Is Sick</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sizhui,” Wuxian called the freshman who was cleaning up a spill. “Why don’t you pick the music until Jin Ling comes in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sizhui gasped and looked up from the table. “Okay!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sizhui could be a good fit here. He was attentive to the customers and their needs, as well as keeping the space pristine and presentation ready. Wuxian could see Yanli and Sizhui working the front end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And his upselling? Wow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you guys still doing the 10%,” one man pointed to the two bowls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y’know,” Sizhui hummed. “We aren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>but</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” he held up his finger. “If you write a note for both of them and order one of the two teas, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>get a scone, I’ll give you 10% off the whole order.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh great,” he smiled. “I’ll do that,” he pulled a pen from his backpack and pulled out his notebook.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian smiled off to the side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that okay,” Sizhui asked quietly while he got to work on the tea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely,” he nodded. “If someone mentions it again let’s offer them that. We’ll put the bowls away before Friday.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The door burst open to a wild and slightly frantic Zixuan. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he rushed to Wuxian. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was sick and it was Zixuan’s worst nightmare. They were all puking and looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>awful</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What? What,” he stopped him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Please let me stay at your apartment, I can’t get sick,” he clasped his hands together. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Wen Ning sick?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he </span>
  <em>
    <span>sick</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan nearly cried. “Please he sounds </span>
  <em>
    <span>disgusting</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I made him soup and </span>
  <em>
    <span>left</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I couldn’t, oh god.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Qing won’t like that,” Sizhui said over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He can take care of himself just fine,” Zixuan frowned. “I’ll check in with him but I cannot get sick. I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> sick. It’s gross, and I feel like I’m dying. Please don’t send me back there. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He puked in the kitchen sink, Wuxian</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you can stay over,” Wuxian patted his shoulder. “I’ll check on Wen Ning after work.” Wuxian knew Zixuan didn’t do well around people if they puked. It was a chain reaction for Zixuan and he really couldn’t help it. It didn’t matter how badly he wanted to help the person. He’d see them get sick, and his own stomach would churn instantaneously. And boogers. Boogers too. Zixuan was determined to be a dad one day, but he wasn’t sure exactly how to handle a baby because they can get quite gross. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, thank you,” Zixuan hugged Wuxian pathetically. “I tried to help him clean up but he pushed me away and told me to leave before I got sick. Don’t tell Wen Qing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sizhui can you make him some lemon balm tea,” Wuxian smoothed down Zixuan’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god it looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>awful</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Wuxian, it-,” Zixuan gagged. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Go sit down,” Wuxian instructed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” Sizhui looked at Wuxian.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Jiang Cheng is the same way,” Wuxian nodded. “This one time, Huaisang got sick from eating something bad and the way the two of them </span>
  <em>
    <span>ran</span>
  </em>
  <span> away from him, after they both got sick too. Some real Stand By Me shit. God they disappeared for hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure Jin Ling is like that,” Sizhui laughed. “Zizhen fake gagged at something Jingyi sent him and Jin Ling gagged just at the sound of it. Surprised even him.”</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning,” Wuxian called as he stepped into the apartment. He heard a groan from somewhere inside. “Wen Ning,” he sang out as he peeked around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning was lying in the bathtub, fully clothed, his hair tied up, wrapped up in an old blanket. “I think I’m dead,” he grumbled, eyes closed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’re not,” Wuxian smiled passing Wen Ning the cup of water that sat on the floor. “Have you had any soup?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t talk to me about food,” he took a sip. “Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” Wuxian sat on the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How’s Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine,” Wuxian smirked. “How are you feeling? Any better from before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not,” Wen Ning frowned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you comfortable in there,” Wuxian asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No but I don’t want to get up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Wuxian got up. He set out for a pillow and plushie as well as Wen Ning’s laptop. He might as well have Harry Potter playing in the background if he was going to hole himself up in the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t return to the bathroom until he had absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> he needed. “Okay,” Wuxian announced himself, placing everything down. “Here,” he tucked the pillow behind Wen Ning’s head and handed him his penguin plushie. “We have water,” he held up a jug, “And saltines,” he shook the box. “For when you need it. And we have Harry Potter,” he plugged the laptop in and placed it down. “Can you see the screen?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tilt it up… Better.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Wuxian clicked around until the movie started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan is a mess</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian looked over his shoulder at Zixuan pouting. “Go sleep in Jiang Cheng’s room if you’re going to keep pouting. I hate it. You look stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Wuxian rolled his eyes but repositioned himself to look at Zixuan. “Why are you even still awake?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning was okay when you left? He didn’t answer my text.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s because he’s sleeping, Zixuan. Wen Ning is fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He seemed really sick, I should’ve stayed,” Zixuan mumbled over his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning would’ve just left himself,” Wuxian pointed out tiredly. “He did last year when you tried to stick it out. He was texting me the whole time about being homeless and crashing at Wen Qing’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan made a face, “That was disgusting don’t remind me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian rolled his eyes. “Just go to sleep, Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just have to finish this first,” Zixuan sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian leaned over to look at the phone. “You’re having food delivered? He’s sleeping.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“For tomorrow,” Zixuan replied. “When he wakes up. It’s soup. Oh shit, I should send some to Huaisang too right?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Wuxian pulled his blanket over his shoulder. “Just let Mingjue do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mingjue,” Zixuan repeated slowly. He nodded, “Okay, but I’m still doing this.” He paused, “Do you think he’s upset with me for leaving?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Bitch </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian mumbled. “Can you shut up now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to Jiang Cheng’s room,” Wuxian turned his back to Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hell no,” Zixuan rolled off the bed with a huff. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>baby*</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/> </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0077"><h2>77. This Friend Group...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng stared at Huaisang blankly. “Tell me I didn’t see what I just saw.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning looked up from his coloring book to see Jiang Cheng, expressionless, and Huaisang slowly pulling his phone towards himself. “Don’t-”</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me you didn’t-”</p><p> </p><p>“-I didn’t,” his eyes wide. “You saw literally nothing.”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning tilted his head slightly, “Saw… what?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re getting brave Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng slowly put his crayon down. He had moved on from thinking something was going on between Huaisang and Zixuan, and on to believing that Huaisang had a big time crush on Zixuan. That was it. </p><p> </p><p>And this? Well this-</p><p> </p><p>“I can <em> assure </em> you, I am not,” Huaisang put his phone down slowly, the screen facing down. </p><p> </p><p>Jiang Cheng’s eyes darted to the phone and back to Huaisang. Could he really move so fast? </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang realized only a second too late, “<em> Jiang Cheng </em>,” Huaisang leaped. “Don’t,” he climbed over him, trying to reach for his phone. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Jiang Cheng pushed Huaisang’s face away, holding the phone out of his reach, “Oh my <em> god </em>,” he laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me see,” Wen Ning made grabby hands. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you think you’re taking this ‘daddy’ joke too far?”</p><p> </p><p>“This is bullying I think,” Huaisang raised his voice trying to grab the phone. Jiang Cheng tossed the phone to Wen Ning who caught it with ease. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan shuffled down the hall and paused at the scene on the living room floor. Huaisang had aggressively koala’d himself to Jiang Cheng’s back, Jiang Cheng trying to stand up to shake the smaller man off, and Wen Ning calmly looking down at, what Zixuan thought was, his phone. </p><p> </p><p>They all froze and looked at him. “...What are you guys doing?”</p><p> </p><p>Jiang Cheng opened his mouth only for Huaisang to throw his hand over it in an effort to silence him. “Nothing… I don’t know what you’re referring to,” Huaisang said calmly. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan narrowed his eyes, “Uh-huh,” he said slowly, walking into the fridge. </p><p> </p><p>Jiang Cheng mumbled against Huaisang’s hand. “Go ahead and lick my hand, I’m not getting off.” Huaisang muttered; Wen Ning looked up. “... That was gross. Don’t do that again.”</p><p> </p><p>Jiang Cheng pushed himself to a stand. Huaisang squeaked in surprise. He mumbled as he padded over to Zixuan.</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan closed the fridge and stared at the two of them. “What?” Jiang Cheng mumbled. And motioned to Huaisang. “No,” he picked up his earbud. “Under normal circumstances I would remove him, but I’m sure you deserve whatever this is,” he put his earbud in and walked past him. “Best of luck,” he called over his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>Jiang Cheng yelled… something… after him and groaned. Huaisang waited until he heard Zixuan’s door close before he leaped off Jiang Cheng, whining in disgust, to go wash his hands in the kitchen sink. “<em> Un </em>believable.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d say,” Jiang Cheng took the phone from Wen Ning, “Please explain.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you make this on SnapChat?” Wen Ning asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“... Yes…”</p><p> </p><p>“I knew I recognized that ‘sugar daddy’ image,” Wen Ning nodded. </p><p> </p><p>Jiang Cheng looked down at him, “You what?”</p><p> </p><p>“I send it on pictures to Zixuan sometimes,” Wen Ning said nonchalantly. </p><p> </p><p>“You what,” Huaisang shuffled back over in a hurry. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh he must hate that,” Jiang Cheng concluded.</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning hummed, “He hasn’t ever reacted to it actually.”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang stared at him in disbelief. “You’re kidding…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not…”</p><p> </p><p>“Well this is completely unfair,” Huaisang announced loudly. </p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t you try sending him this picture,” Jiang Cheng offered jokingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Listen, Jiang Cheng,” he tried to reason with him, “I’m just trying to stay on brand, okay, like is <em> this </em> really shocking to you?”</p><p> </p><p>Jiang Cheng replied, “That you made it, no, that you made it your wallpaper, <em> yes </em> . Huaisang this is so <em> brave </em>,” he laughed. “You realize that Zixuan is always on your phone right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, but of all my friend-edits and reaction pics I’ve made-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, <em> what </em>,” Jiang Cheng laughed loudly. “You do what-”</p><p> </p><p>“I had to make it my wallpaper,” Huaisang snatched his phone back just to shove it back in Jiang Cheng’s face. “<em> Look at how good he looks here, hello </em> ? The hot, rich, athletic daddy energy he <em> exudes </em> .” Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng broke out into laughter. “This has literally been my wallpaper for nearly two weeks and not a soul has noticed, not even him so <em> I’m </em> the real winner here. Leave my wallpaper alone,” he pouted. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Two weeks </em>,” Wen Ning said slowly. “Impressive. Where did you even get that picture?”</p><p> </p><p>“I took it. When we were working out-”</p><p> </p><p>Jiang Cheng laughed, “I know you’re lying because you don’t like working out. How did you get this picture?”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Huaisang agreed, “But sometimes Zixuan does, so I go with him. And I’ll have you know that he saw this picture right after I took it… He just doesn’t know that I made this and sent it to Yanli as a joke.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Yanli- </em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes! And I’ll have you know she made it her wallpaper too for a few days… Wen Qing too!”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning laughed, “Oh my god, send it to me next.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay-”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not just use a <em> normal </em> picture,” Jiang Cheng questioned. He wanted Huaisang to admit that he liked Zixuan.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello?” Huaisang looked at him in annoyance, “If I did it would look too boyfriend-y. I don’t want that. But <em> this </em> is perfectly on brand, funny, and I still get to see this picture every day. This picture is a god tier pic-”</p><p> </p><p>Wen Ning muttered, “Don’t let him hear you say that.”</p><p> </p><p>“-He looks <em> so </em> good, and do you <em> see his fucking ears </em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“The turn this just took,” Jiang Cheng muttered back to Wen Ning.</p><p> </p><p>“They are <em> so </em> cute, and <em> so </em> liddol, I am going to <em> scream </em>,” Huaisang said loudly.</p><p> </p><p>“Please don’t,” Zixuan said from behind him. “Who’s ears are you talking about?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Yours </em> ,” Huaisang whined, falling back into the pillows on the armchair. “You have the <em> cutest </em> ears.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh,” Zixuan didn’t know how to reply so he just nodded. “Well, okay?” He glanced at Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng who were trying their hardest to keep their expressions clear. “W-why are we talking about my ears exactly?”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re red by the way,” Wen Ning pointed out. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Oh my god </em> ,” Huaisang cried out, standing up to take hold of Zixuan’s face. “ <em> Look, see </em>,” he turned his head so an ear was on clear display to Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng.</p><p> </p><p>“Not again,” Zixuan sighed quietly. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Not again </em>,” Jiang Cheng near screamed. </p><p> </p><p>“He freaks out over his ears every once in a while,” Wen Ning confirmed, turning back to his book. </p><p> </p><p>“How can you not, Jiang Cheng, <em> look </em> ,” he gently tugged on the little earlobe. “ <em> Look, Jiang Cheng!” </em></p><p> </p><p>“I’m looking, damn!”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan sighed, “You’re yelling again.”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang gasped and cupped his hands over Zixuan’s ears. “I’m so sorry to your beautiful ears.”</p><p> </p><p>“Zixuan you should ask to-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Jiang Cheng!” </em> Huaisang glared over his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“Can you let go,” Zixuan asked. </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of my ears.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Oh </em>.” Huaisang laughed and backed up. He gently tugged on Zixuan’s earlobe again happily as he walked by. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan rolled his eyes but sat in the armchair Huaisang had just been in. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you finish your paper,” Wen Ning asked. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Zixuan replied, “But I can’t focus.” He glanced down to see Huaisang’s phone wedged between the cushion. He picked it up and held it out to Huaisang upside down. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Huaisang grabbed his phone happily and dropped down beside Jiang Cheng. He put the phone down, screen up. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you guys doing?”</p><p> </p><p>“Talking about boys,” Huaisang replied, picking a crayon up to keep coloring. </p><p> </p><p>Jiang Cheng was confused at how relaxed and unfazed Huaisang was by just that moment’s risk of Zixuan seeing his wallpaper. And the sheer <em> luck </em> that Zixuan didn’t have the screen facing up when he passed it back. </p><p> </p><p>And now? It was right in front of Zixuan, and at any moment the screen could light up. And Huaisang didn’t even care. </p><p> </p><p>“And wallpapers,” Jiang Cheng replied. Huaisang shot him a dirty look. </p><p> </p><p>“Zixuan do you want to color,” Wen Ning asked. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah sure,” Zixuan got down on the ground between Huaisang and Wen Ning. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan pushed Huaisang’s phone out of the way. </p><p> </p><p>He saw the wallpaper last week.</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> the wallpaper </span> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> coloring party tl update </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/>   </p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> friends? enemies? </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> wuxian tormenting him for no reason </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> betrayal? </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>“Did he see the video,” Wuxian stretched. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“He did,” Zixuan looked down at his phone in surprise as it rang out.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Is that him? Is he calling you,” Wuxian asked. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Oh my god,” Zixuan laughed. He answered the video call. “What-”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Our friendship is over.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Zixuan rolled his eyes. “Huaisang-”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“You listen to me Jin Zixuan-”</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> farewell </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/><br/></p><p> <br/> </p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> checking in </span> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> a new day. same old. guangshan giving guangyao tasks he easily could’ve done himself. </span> </p><p> <br/> </p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> wuxian’s stupidity was overshadowed by everyones hatred for zixun </span> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">is oomf ok </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0078"><h2>78. Nie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW/ implied homophobia, arranged marriages mentioned</p><p>**NSFW</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan was called back home for dinner with his parents. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His father said it was of utmost importance that he return to Carp Tower for the night. He didn’t think much of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thought all he would have to deal with when he went home was Guangyao being moody and a still angry Zixun from their recent confrontation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But to his dismay, it was his relationship with Yanli that was the reason for his trip home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mother had spoken to Madam Yu and had finally been made aware that Yanli was not only in a relationship, but dating a girl. Madam Yu must’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>found out. She wouldn’t have kept such vital information from Madam Jin.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew she’d find out eventually but he wasn’t actually prepared for that to happen yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He also expected some sort of notice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli hadn’t known that her father had let it slip to her mother until it was too late to warn Zixuan. By the time she finally got the call from her mother, Zixuan was already on his way to Lanling. He didn’t see Yanli’s voicemail until </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span> his dinner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli was just the starting point for the dinner discussion though. The sole focus was about Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You can only imagine how upset his parents were when it was clear that he already knew, and that he didn’t care at all. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The longer they spoke about the topic, the angrier Zixuan got. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It really doesn’t matter,” he snapped. He hadn’t even touched his food. He was furious. “You don’t get a say in how she lives </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>life.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>matter</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Guangshan laughed. “We needed this-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin spoke up, “Ziyuan says it’s just a phase-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And how long will that last,” Guangshan stopped her. “Zixuan needs to get married-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still in school,” Zixuan scoffed. “I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to get married yet anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter what you want,” Guangshan replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao looked down at his plate quickly. Oh god. It was good it was just the four of them at dinner right now. He couldn’t imagine the rest of the family in this conversation. It would be so much worse. And it was already going quite poorly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Now Guangyao understood why Guangshan had dismissed all staff from the room. He didn’t want anyone else to hear this conversation before he was sure he had a handle of things. No one would speak a word of this until he was sure he had.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Clearly.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Madam Jin warned, “Enough.” She turned to Guangshan, “There is still a possibility that Zixuan will be able to marry Yanli.” She didn’t want to let go of the life she had planned for her son.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to marry Yanli,” Zixuan asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t mean that,” Madam Jin said. “You and Yanli are perfect for each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t wait around forever,” Guangshan sighed. “We need to shift our focus. I have already spoken to numerous families.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin did not like that. How dare he go behind her back? Her and Ziyuan wanted their children together. They got along </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> well. When they were babies, toddlers, and then they became friends the older they got. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good </span>
  </em>
  <span>friends.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was perfect. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They </span>
  </em>
  <span>were perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Even more perfect that their two families could be officially unified through them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This had been in the works for years. Why would he start planning otherwise behind her back?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And when exactly did you do this?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I was worried that Jiang Yanli would not follow through for some time now,” Guangshan admitted. “Especially since her father did so little on their side to bring them together. I wanted to be prepared in case this fell through.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Who</span>
  </em>
  <span> have you spoken to,” Zixuan’s mind was spiraling. If he’s already worked something out then there was no downtime to try and change his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan ignored him. Zixuan looked to Guangyao who could only shrug. He didn’t know anything about it either. “Qin Cangye has accepted; their daughter Qin Su. She wants to wait a few more years to finish school before she and Guangyao marry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao choked on his water. Madam Jin made a face of disgust at him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Me?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Guangyao looked in astonishment at Zixuan. What did that mean? Frankly, not being in an arranged marriage was the only thing he was okay being excluded from. He didn’t think he was considered “prominent” enough to be in one. Not like Zixuan, and a couple of their cousins. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What did that mean for Guangyao?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That allows us to keep attention from Zixuan in case we cannot settle this fast enough,” Guangshan added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Okay well… It was just for a distraction… But surely he could’ve thought of someone else so… Maybe Guangshan still thought something of Guangyao now….</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao wasn’t going to question it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He kept his head down and stayed out of the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangshan continued, “And I think that we should shift our focus from the Jiangs to the Nies for Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan blinked, “W-what?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nie</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It would prove to be enormously beneficial and an incredible triumph to unify with them,” Guangshan nodded. “Better for us than if you were with Yanli.” They had a better shot with the Nies if Zixuan was available.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin didn’t like that… She knew he was right, and she hated that even more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If they had any shot of strengthening their relationship with the Nies, it was through Zixuan. They had always encouraged his friendship with Huaisang, despite heavily disagreeing with Huaisang’s choices, because of how it benefited their family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s also why they pushed Guangyao to ensure he was friends with Mingjue once they realized how close he was to Lan Xichen already.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangshan had worked hard to ensure he mend their past with the Nies but he couldn’t do that without his sons. Knowing that they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>open</span>
  </em>
  <span> to arranging a marriage with Zixuan? That they valued him enough to even consider it when they didn’t otherwise participate in such things? Guangshan was absolutely going to jump on that opportunity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite this being far greater than just a friendship with one of the brothers, if Madam Jin had any actual say in it, she would still turn down the opportunity in favor of Yanli. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin glanced at Zixuan. There was no question that he did not want to marry a Nie. He looked sick even. He never looked like this at the thought of marrying Yanli. She was sure that his overwhelming support of Yanli’s current relationship could only mean that he cared about her enough to let her go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he cared that much…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe there was still time to change the situation before Guangshan settled anything with the Nies. Maybe there was time to still get her son and Yanli together.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Clan Leader Nie is open to the idea,” Guangshan added. “I have several names-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was going to be sick, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin spoke up, “I want a say on who.” Maybe she could pick someone who may clash with Zixuan. Someone who might walk away. Someone who didn’t want to get married right away, that way she could buy more time to get Yanli back for her son.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” he nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan tried to interject. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>One of Huaisang’s cousins? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What kind of sick joke was this?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Never.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Absolutely not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>bad bad</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan slipped into Guangyao’s room without any notice.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao looked up in surprise as Zixuan closed the door quietly behind him. He looked like a mess. “Some dinner-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Switch with me-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Switch with me or something, I don’t know.” He offered, “I’ll marry Qin Su. You, you should marry whoever they want for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao didn’t understand, “Why would I do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, it makes more sense doesn’t it? Then you can be </span>
  <em>
    <span>in</span>
  </em>
  <span> Qinghe, and I can be here? What’s- what’s the point if one of us can’t actually be in Qinghe-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“First of all, Mingjue absolutely hates me and will probably kill me if I lived there,” Guangyao replied. “Second of all, those are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> strong points, and third: I’m not the decision maker here. I can’t change anything. They definitely wouldn’t accept anything from me anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay help me come up with something better. I’ll bring it up to Dad myself-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Guangyao pressed. “What’s wrong with the Nies?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to get married-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but you are. You literally cannot do better than marrying a Nie. The fact they even want to work something out is a miracle-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I know, but-” Zixuan paced. He needed some way out of this. But he knew there wasn’t a single point that could change Guangshan’s mind. “Ugh,” he covered his face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “This is going to be so fucking awkward.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, are you not friends with Huaisang anymore or something,” Guangyao asked, partially joking. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not for much longer.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not at this rate. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">did you wanna come over?</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thought of marrying one of Huaisang’s cousins was worse than anyone else he could have imagined. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was he supposed to do with that information?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was he supposed to do when Huaisang found out? Was he supposed to tell him? He really didn’t want to do that either. But he didn’t want anyone else to tell him instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was he supposed to do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>he do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiss me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang blinked. He didn’t say anything at first. He only studied Zixuan carefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know we didn’t talk about it first but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was fine. He didn’t care. They were never one to actually plan anything in advance. They had always been quite spur of the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a little surprising that they hadn’t already broken their agreement to not do anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang cautiously reached for Zixuan as if it was the first time he asked for a kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t want to be cautious this time though. He wanted to throw caution into the wind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just a kiss?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang expected Zixuan to say it back, whether or not it was just a kiss. But he didn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He brushed his thumb over Huaisang’s cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wen ning hasnt heard from zixuan</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pushed the clothing off Huaisang’s shoulders. There was too much fabric between the two of them and he hated it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had never been so desperate to feel Huaisang against him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was usually quite hesitant when it came to that. He was never completely naked when things went far enough. It was about Huaisang anyways. He didn’t need to be for whatever Huaisang wanted, or for whatever Huaisang wanted to do to him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But this wasn’t like any of that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t care if he was completely exposed anymore. There was no redirecting. There was no hesitation. There was no second guessing anything this time. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Touch me,” Zixuan breathed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was </span>
  <em>
    <span>eager</span>
  </em>
  <span> to; he didn’t need to be told twice.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had no intention of stopping Huaisang from doing anything. He wanted this moment to be whatever Huaisang wanted. Completely. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever Huaisang wanted, he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t going to waste any more time not doing what he wanted before the opportunity would be ripped away for good.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s fingertips brushed against Zixuan’s bare waist before his fingers curled around the fabric at Zixuan’s hips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>maybe he fell asleep</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan liked kissing Huaisang. He liked feeling Huaisang. He liked hearing Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But fuck, he loved the way Huaisang touched him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wasn’t going to throw away his own opportunity. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had come to the conclusion that their occasional fooling around and their brief kisses wouldn’t be happening anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He thought that maybe that had been okay.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Because Huaisang was pretty sure he was falling in love with Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe he’s been in love. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was a dangerous game for Huaisang. He was going to end up heartbroken over Zixuan one way or another, at some point; that was the only thing he was absolutely sure of. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So this? This was a surprise to Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang broke their kiss, “Are you sure this is okay?” He didn’t want Zixuan to regret whatever was happening. He didn’t want to push him. He didn’t want to make him uncomfortable with anything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want Zixuan to walk away feeling disappointed in Huaisang or himself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to be on the same page. Especially since they hadn’t actually talked about anything yet.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan exhaled slowly through his nose as some weak attempt to steady his breathing and clear his head, “Yeah.” This was the most sure he had ever been with Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He sat back on his heels to take in the sight of him. Huaisang was... perfect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way he looked at Zixuan. The way his lips parted as Zixuan slowly slid his hand down Huaisang’s inner thigh. The way his breath caught when Zixuan leaned down. The way he made eye contact with Zixuan for a brief second before-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang moaned, fingers curled tight in Zixuan’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>big man horrified</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Frankly Zixuan had no idea what he was doing. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He really let Huaisang take control of everything. He was fine following his lead. He was okay with that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was more than okay. Especially seeing how Huaisang was falling apart with just his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And he was definitely falling apart. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He absolutely could not think properly but the </span>
  <em>
    <span>second </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought he would be fine going all night just like this, the concept of time came crashing down on him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He knew Zixuan had every intention of properly fucking him but he would not be able to last in the way he wanted at this rate, and they simply did not have time to continue anything after they came. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not when his brother would likely be home soon.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He fumbled reaching for his phone beside his bed. He needed to check the time. His brother was far too familiar with Zixuan’s car. He absolutely could not put Zixuan in that position. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was a risk he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> willing to take.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang gently pushed against Zixuan’s shoulder until he pulled back. He sat back as Huaisang sat up, “Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang cupped Zixuan’s warm cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>1. wen ning is worried, </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>2. zixuan left yanli on read when he went into huaisangs house</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan felt like he couldn’t breathe, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he muttered, bringing Huaisang’s lips back to his. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not like he could even properly kiss him though. He couldn’t focus his mind on any one thing. The feel of the sheets beneath him, the weight of Huaisang on top of him, Huaisang’s hot breath ghosting over his skin as his lips moved to Zixuan’s neck, his hair brushing over Zixuan’s shoulders, the absolute mess the two of them made.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was a lot. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was a bit overwhelming. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he was absolutely fine with it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had been right though, neither of them were going to last. It was only a matter of time before the two of them were spent and tangled up in one another.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang lay unmoving on Zixuan’s chest for a moment, trying to catch his breath. Trying to understand. Zixuan still hadn’t actually fucked him and yet?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang would be fine if he never did. If it was going to feel like this every time he didn’t care.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>While Zixuan felt incredible, he felt a bit dizzy if he was being honest. He didn’t know if he liked that particular feeling. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he also considered that it might have been because he hadn’t eaten since that morning. And he wasn’t really sure when he last had a sip of water.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan squeezed his eyes shut. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang eventually sat up, completely ignoring the mess between them. He brushed over Zixuan’s cheek; he opened his eyes to look up at Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pecked his lips, his cheek, his nose. “So good, baby,” Huaisang said quietly. He gave Zixuan just a few more little smooches, “You still okay? Need anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan blinked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Baby?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang brushed Zixuan’s hair away from his face. “Hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What if this was their last time to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Shouldn’t they do more? Zixuan didn’t know when his dad was going to make him commit to a relationship he didn’t want. But he was sure it would be soon. Then all of this had to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan just shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t going to bring that up now. Not when things felt right.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And things felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He couldn’t ruin that now… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He did keep thinking about how he possibly just made things worse for himself though. Coming here, doing this… it made things harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang saw the uncertainty on his face. He squished Zixuan’s cheeks and placed a loud obnoxious kiss on his lips. “So good, amazing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>wow</span>
  </em>
  <span>, 10/10 would come again.” Zixuan couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh. Huaisang laughed and pulled Zixuan up. “Come on.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang slipped into his own robe and looked for something that was big enough for Zixuan to wear to sleep. He wrapped Zixuan in a blanket and placed the clothes in his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He walked out of his room and </span>
  <em>
    <span>immediately </span>
  </em>
  <span>noticed the light on in Mingjue’s room. The door wide open.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, no, no</span>
  </em>
  <span>- he couldn’t have Zixuan see that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang turned around and spun Zixuan in the opposite direction to go to the other bathroom. “You go,” he whispered; Zixuan didn’t think anything of it. “Take a shower, change,” he gently pushed him down the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know if it was like that when Zixuan showed up or not, but he absolutely was not going to risk it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>earlier</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>mingjue left</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang moved fast. He had switched his sheets on the bed, showered, changed, and was rummaging in the kitchen as quickly and quietly as possible when the front door opened.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang dropped down to the ground, hiding behind the kitchen island. He was clutching a package to his chest, careful not to breathe too hard otherwise the packaging would crinkle too loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang peeked around the corner to see Mingjue walk in, his music blaring through his earbuds. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang silently cursed himself. Seeing Mingjue in his workout clothes confirmed that he had come home early. He definitely must’ve known. Especially since Zixuan’s car was literally parked out front.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang buried his head in his hands. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Great</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He had really hoped he was just overreacting about Mingjue’s door being open. He really hoped he had panicked for no reason.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue was quick to make his way to the bathroom nearest his own room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang waited for the sound of the door and the shower being turned on before he rushed back to his room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was laying on his back, knees resting against the wall, a hand on his belly, his other arm draped over his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang crawled onto the bed and sat back on his heels. He wondered if he was already regretting coming here. Huaisang’s heart sank.  “Zixuan?” No reply. “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need to talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t say anything right away. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He did. But… “Not about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” Huaisang assured him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan dropped his arm and looked at Huaisang. “Can we talk about it another time?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded and silently handed Zixuan a water bottle. He watched Zixuan carefully to make sure nothing was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He noticed. “I’m okay,” he assured Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay…” Huaisang was a little paranoid. He was sure Zixuan regretted it. Or maybe he was upset with himself. Maybe-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Promise</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he took a cookie from Huaisang. “The only thing I’m concerned about is whether or not I’m about to eat all of these,” he joked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was unsure about how okay Zixuan was but he let it go, “You can,” he placed the package between them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. I didn’t eat dinner… Or lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Drove to Lanling instead. Then, y’know,” he paused. “Drama.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn,” Huaisang nodded. There was always drama at Carp Tower. He wasn’t surprised. “Do you want something else then? We have banana bread I think?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hesitated a little too long; Huaisang moved like he was going to stand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan grabbed his hand, “No, I’m good-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sat back down. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he huffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>yanli, simultaneously conducting research and quelling wen ning’s nerves</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tucked his phone under his pillow while Zixuan plugged in his dead phone across the room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He crawled back into bed, “Huaisang?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pulled the blankets up, “Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Where are my clothes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well... you see… I wasn’t thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan snorted, “Uh-huh.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I grabbed them and threw them into the hamper with the sheets. But then I realized if I start the laundry now, I will 100% end up grabbing it tomorrow morning… Which comes with the risk of-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Mingjue-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Huaisang said slowly. “So, uh, I’ll have to give them back later.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pinched the fabric of what he was wearing now. “I doubt Wen Ning would think much about me showing up wearing this tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well,” he laughed and pulled the blankets over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan got comfortable next to him and pressed his back to the wall like always. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wanted to reach out. He wanted to kiss him goodnight.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was hoping Huaisang would. But after a moment, Huaisang rolled over, “Night, Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan bit his lip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tugged on the back of Huaisang’s top after a couple minutes, unhappy with the distance. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t move at first. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan tugged again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pushed himself back just enough for Zixuan to wrap an arm over his waist and pull him the rest of the distance. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Huaisang,” Zixuan muttered tiredly.</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wen ning ToT </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang walked back into his room quietly. He just managed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> miss Mingjue on his way out of the house again... thankfully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had his arm over his eyes again, phone in hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nosey as hell, Huaisang leaned forward and tilted his head enough to read the last few messages between him and Wen Ning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He quietly sat back on the bed, facing Zixuan. “Morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang asked again, “Do you need to talk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He dropped his arm and turned to Huaisang, “Do you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About last night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan nodded silently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pursed his lips. “No…?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>But we should.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked back up at the ceiling. “We’re not very good at not doing this,” he stated plainly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laid back down beside Zixuan, “We’re not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s my fault-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t say you were drunk-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan chuckled. “Neither can you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Did it go as you planned this time?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled on his side to look at Huaisang. “I didn’t plan anything this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you feel okay about com-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Yeah,” Zixuan interrupted. Huaisang was a lot more unfiltered and comfortable than Zixuan was when it came to anything related to sex. “Yep. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Feeling </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay thanks for asking. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Great</span>
  </em>
  <span> actually. You feel okay? I mean I think yes, but I could be wrong; stop me from talki-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang reached out to cover Zixuan’s mouth. “Feeling very okay,” he repeated with a playful eye roll. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We weren’t supposed to do this,” Zixuan pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hummed. “No. We weren’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So why did you kiss me?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang took notice of Zixuan’s reddening ears. “You asked me to.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But you asked that we don’t do this anymore. Why didn’t you say no to me?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want to say no,” Huaisang said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I asked you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“To kiss you? Or?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Are you asking me to?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang opened his mouth to say something but quickly pressed his lips together. What if that was just last night? What if Zixuan said no now?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned forward without a word. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Just a kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t know what to make of it. That Zixuan didn’t say no. That Zixuan wanted to kiss him again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to ask. Why Zixuan wanted to come here last night. Why he was willing to even talk about last night. In person no less. Why he wasn’t rushing to leave the next morning. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he needed Zixuan to leave. He needed him to rush out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pulled back from the kiss, “Wait, uhm-” he sat up, already regretting both having asked him for another kiss, and having stopped. “Sorry, it’s just… There’s just one thing…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan sat up properly and folded his legs. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I was actually going to… not tell you? But…” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at him curiously. Truthfully his mind started to spin about all the things he may say. And just how bad that could’ve gone. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mingjue came home early last night?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But that was not one of the things he anticipated on hearing. “...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Now I’m not saying he knows anything, but,” Huaisang paused. “Pretty sure he does?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice. Great. Love that for me.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not… that bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan ran his hands over his face. “I can never walk into this house again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes you can. But you should still probably leave while he’s out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If he knows, I definitely can’t step foot in here again,” he huffed and stood up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He won’t say anything to you. He’d be too awkward if he did.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan couldn’t tell Huaisang that he absolutely would say something when he finds out about the engagement. He might actually get his ass handed to him in that case. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Regardless, next time it’s my apartment or not at all because I really don’t need your brother coming for my neck.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Next time?” Huaisang didn’t think there would be a next time. Not like this.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hesitated. Logically he knew he shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have said that knowing that any moment it had to officially, and permanently end. But if there was going to be a next time, before then, he had to talk to Huaisang first. “Next time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>xichen is brutal when mingjue is at his lowest</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0079"><h2>79. Snap</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan just got off the phone with Jin Han. The rest of the family knew about Daiyu now. This was really going to happen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he still hadn’t said anything to Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every time he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He didn’t want it to be real. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it was. And Zixuan was starting to panic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to go back in time. Not to stop anything from happening between him and Huaisang, but to not hold back. To not waste so much time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To find a way to buy them more time before it was too late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was too late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should’ve said something to Huaisang sooner. He shouldn’t have gone to see him for anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>but </span>
  </em>
  <span>telling him. He shouldn’t have left his house without telling him. He shouldn’t have gone the remainder of the weekend without having said anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He skipped classes today. Both to try and figure out what to say to Huaisang, and to avoid him. He didn’t want to spend time around him without saying anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that didn’t matter right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was overwhelmed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>By everything. From what felt like lying to Huaisang, to his messy room, to the feel of anything touching his skin, to the temperature of the room, to the music he tried to put on to clear his head.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like he was about to snap. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And he knew the only thing that might help, would also make him feel worse. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed his phone anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang slipped in quietly to see Zixuan pacing and trying to tie his hair up. Only to pull it loose again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan paused as Huaisang closed the door behind him. Obviously Zixuan wasn’t feeling sick, not the way all of his friends had assumed when he decided to not show up on campus. But he did look like a mess. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” Huaisang glanced around Zixuan’s room. He wasn’t sure the last time he had seen Zixuan’s space look so untidy. He figured once when they were roommates. That he knew of anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t horrible, but it was unlike Zixuan. And it definitely didn’t happen overnight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan registered Huaisang’s reaction; the state of his room dawned on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shuffled through his school work on his desk and started making neat piles, “I should’ve picked up before y-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright,” Huaisang placed his phone down on the desk, careful of the placement. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang knew that Zixuan only got to this point of disorganization when he felt an absurd amount of stress. It never helped him straighten out his thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a line. On one side, Zixuan cleaned when he was stressed. But the line, rather thick to be honest, once crossed… Something just turned off in Zixuan’s head. Processing was not something he was capable of then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just,” Zixuan kept sorting, “I feel like I’m kind of fucking losing it,” Zixuan laughed humorlessly. “I just,” he tucked his hair behind his ear, avoiding looking at Huaisang. “I don’t know, I don’t know-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How can I help?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t even know. He wasn’t even sure why he had texted him to begin with. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang nodded at the silence. “Is it okay if I hold your hands for a second?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hesitantly stopped what he was doing and placed his hands into Huaisang’s.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened, Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan felt like his throat was closing. He pressed his lips tight. He didn’t want to say anything. Just the way Huaisang was looking at him confirmed his fears that this meant something to Huaisang too. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That made it worse. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>How was he supposed to tell Huaisang he was to be engaged to his </span>
  <em>
    <span>cousin</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned as Zixuan tried to keep himself steady. “Okay, it’s okay,” Huaisang pulled him into his arms. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan held onto Huaisang. Not telling him was precisely the problem. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang ran his hand over Zixuan’s back as his breathing became heavier and heavier. “It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Things most certainly were not okay. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t pull away until Zixuan’s hold loosened just slightly. “Let me take care of your room.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tucked Zixuan’s hair back behind his ear. “I can fix your hair too if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan felt like he was going to cry. Which was not a feeling he was familiar with. He just nodded, too nervous to say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang led him towards his bed without letting go of his hands. “Just give me a couple minutes okay?” Huaisang walked over to Zixuan’s plants and picked up the biggest. “Here,” he placed it carefully in Zixuan’s hands. “Hold onto Blanche for now.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang picked a textbook or two off the floor and put them away neatly onto his desk. He put Zixuan’s bag in the corner it always sat in. He closed Zixuan’s closet doors. He even straightened Zixuan’s phone from where it sat on the bedside drawer. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang glanced over his shoulder; Zixuan was looking down at Blanche, pulling his finger through one of the curled leaves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang picked up all the clothes Zixuan had tossed onto the floor and walked over to the hamper. Instead of dropping them in, he let them drop back down to the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He absolutely did not see the purpose, and he often rolled his eyes when Zixuan would loosely fold his clothes before placing them in the hamper. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But it’s something Zixuan did. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So Huaisang did it for him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Only when he was sure everything was in its place did he return to Zixuan’s side. They didn’t talk. Huaisang just settled behind Zixuan and started playing with his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan zoned out. Letting Huaisang braid his hair in numerous ways while he held onto Blanche. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe in an alternate universe this was a normal day and he was just some guy. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Huaisang was doing his hair just because he had nothing else to do. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he was caressing Blanche’s leaves, not because he was upset, but because he was content. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe they weren’t hiding. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they didn’t feel anything towards each other. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe they did, but maybe they were just some guys. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was okay. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he had nothing to tell Huaisang in that universe.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang ensured there was not a hair out of place when he was finished tying off Zixuan’s hair into a neat bun. “Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan nodded, carefully outlining Blanche’s leaves. “Sorry for making you come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wrapped his arms around Zixuan’s middle and rested his cheek against Zixuan’s shoulder. “I don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can leave if you want to. I’m fine,” he mumbled. He couldn’t say anything yet. His mind was a mess. He didn’t want to be like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> when he said something. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a second day skipping class catches wuxians attention</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>yanli doesn’t like it</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan did go to class, and as promised, Wuxian provided him with plenty of snacks. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had stuffed his bag full of everything he thought Zixuan might like and the moment he sat down beside Huaisang, Wuxian dumped his bag out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stared at the mountain of snacks, “Wuxian, what-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I said I would bring you snacks. Here are all the snacks I had,” Wuxian held them up one by one. “Whatever you want, or all of them, I don’t care… Snacks!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeez,” Huaisang muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s…” Zixuan paused. “... Thanks, Wuxian.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian beamed. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>So</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I was thinking,” he pulled a chair up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked through the packages before him, “About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“About how much I miss you,” Wuxian booped Zixuan’s nose.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t touch me,” Zixuan reacted dully. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian pinched his cheek, “You’re so cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang muttered, “His ears are red.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian gasped, “Are they,” he perked up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you guys harassing Zixuan,” Jiang Cheng walked in behind Guangyao.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not doing anything,” Huaisang announced. “I’m minding my own business,” he opened his textbook. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao eyed the mountain of snacks as he passed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian sneered back.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a first,” Jiang Cheng snorted. “... Is that mine,” he pointed to a box of cereal in the snack pile.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Technically speaking, I think all of it is yours,” Zixuan replied as he passed over the box.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian gasped and plucked a package of twizzlers from the pile as Wangji walked in, “Lan Zhan!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan and Huaisang watched him rush over to the Lan before glancing at each other, “Whipped,” they muttered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>coparentings relationship</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">dinner </span>
</p><p> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">oof </span>
</p><p> <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">madam jin messages zixuan </span>
</p><p> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0080"><h2>80. Lying? Acting?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue shouldn’t have been too surprised to see Huaisang doing his homework in the living room; Huaisang wasn’t the one trying to avoid running into his brother at all costs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had already told Huaisang that Mingjue had been completely unable to look at him in his class as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe, if he pretended to have no idea </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> Mingjue was avoiding him, it would make Mingjue feel a tad less awkward. Maybe enough to actually start acting like a normal human being at home again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang folded his arms over his books. “Hi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“.... Hi,” Mingjue paused mid step. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Huaisang announced.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, uhm...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where have you been lately?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Around… With Xichen,” he cleared his throat, “You?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Theatre, here,” he shrugged. “.... Did I do something though?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pouted and put his pen down. “I feel like you’re avoiding me. Did I say something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Mingjue blinked. He had assumed Huaisang was aware that he had come home early the other night. Otherwise why else would Zixuan have left so early in the morning?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pursed his lips. “The only thing I could think was when I laughed at you the other day when-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Mingjue shook his head. “No, you didn’t do anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. So you’re not mad at me?” Huaisang looked up at Mingjue with big eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not mad at you,” Mingjue confirmed awkwardly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, good,” Huaisang beamed. “So can we have dinner together tonight or are you leaving again,” he asked sadly. “We haven’t talked all week,” he frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! Maybe you can tell me what’s been bothering you then,” Huaisang pushed himself to a stand. “Is it one of your students,” he walked by his brother on his way into the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Guangyao isn’t it,” Huaisang continued as he pulled things out to make dinner. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue put his things down, “Uh… Yeah…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I need his help with class again,” Huaisang said. “Maybe I can invite him here next time to study and you guys can make up then.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, sure, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! I know you guys butt heads a lot but I think it’s important that he sees that you’re not going to give up on him, y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Unless you really hate him that much, then just drop him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t hate him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought so,” Huaisang nodded. “I’ll have him come here to study, and you guys can make up, and then maybe you can try and get him to come to brunch again. The less he’s around Wen Chao the better I think. Really stunts his growth in character.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Mingjue said slowly. Great. Now he had to pretend like he was mending something with Guangyao when he next saw him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What kind of noodles do you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>he-</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>nhs &amp; jgy </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span> <br/><br/></span>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>too strong  </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <span class="u">
      
    </span>
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0081"><h2>81. Passwords</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/><br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">oof </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">drop it </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/><br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">names </span>
</p><p> <br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">new password </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">have at it </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0082"><h2>82. Jiggy Doesn't Know What To Do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">avoid </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">not that simple</span>
</p><p>   <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">no help </span>
</p><p>  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0083"><h2>83. Panic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s probably crying,” Jiang Cheng warned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” Zixuan put his things back in his bag. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Wuxian handed him a chocolate chip muffin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh good,” Zixuan took the muffin. “He eats when he’s nervous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Godspeed,” Wen Ning saluted him. Jiang Cheng and Wuxian gave each other a knowing look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The group watched as Zixuan slipped out of the room just as Xichen was walking in, without a word. Wangji had quietly been listening to their conversation from his seat. He thought it was interesting that he was willing to skip class to… help someone with an assignment, of all things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wangji supposed that Huaisang must have been considerably upset. He made a mental note to ask Wuxian about it after class. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian thought out loud, “His grade isn’t that bad though, is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not</span>
  <em>
    <span> bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jiang Cheng answered. “But it will be if it drops any more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’ll be fine,” Wuxian shrugged. “He overthinks the subject too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take your seats, please,” Xichen said as he hooked up his laptop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, Huaisang was crying. He couldn’t help it. He was feeling panicked and overwhelmed and he couldn’t focus. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> concerned about failing that he couldn’t pull himself from the headspace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He held his head in his hands as he stared down at his textbook attempting to skim while trying to absorb the content. He chewed his bottom lip absentmindedly, his own thoughts distracting him from focusing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s no point</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had run into Sizhui in the hall outside the room and was given a brief warning. Zixuan saw how often this class broke Huaisang down; he knew what he was doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey,” Zixuan walked in. “That isn’t allowed,” he stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. Huaisang let out a sigh and wiped his face. “Here, from Wuxian,” he handed him the muffin. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Huaisang mumbled, unwrapping it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pulled out his own notebook and flipped to a blank page, “What are we working with?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Huaisang said miserably around the muffin. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s not true,” Zixuan clicked his pen. “You already highlighted two pages,” he pointed out. “You keep reading, and I’ll write them down as you do. I know you like to look at the quotes pulled away from the text.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan started writing without another word. Huaisang took a deep breath and tried to focus on the words in front of him. He sniffled and leaned forward to keep reading. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His cheeks were puffed out as he continued munching on the muffin. It helped. He didn’t know how exactly it helped, but it helped. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan silently and quickly wrote down everything Huaisang highlighted and jotted down the page numbers off to the side for citation purposes. This wasn’t the first time they’ve had to sit down doing this, especially for this course.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Without so much as a glance, he grabbed the water bottle from his own bag and placed it in front of Huaisang when he finished the muffin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang knew better than to hand the water bottle back to Zixuan. Something about germs. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I already forgot the topic,” Huaisang deadpanned, interrupting the silence. “I think I’m highlighting random stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No you didn’t,” Zixuan said over the notebook. “All of these relate.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Okay,” Huaisang leaned forward and tried to focus again. He flipped the page and continued skimming. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span> did he manage to read the syllabus incorrectly? All that time he wasted on a paper he can’t even use. Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course</span>
  </em>
  <span> he did that to himself. Right when he was finally starting to get his grade back up to something that Mingjue deemed acceptable. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked up at Huaisang, “Stop that.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang glanced over, “Hm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan reached out, pulling Huaisang’s bottom lip out from under his teeth with his thumb, “Stop.” He pointed to the textbook. “You’re overthinking; you didn’t even realize you finished the reading.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang glanced at the time on his laptop in front of him. “I only have an hour and a half left. I can’t write this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s plenty of time,” Zixuan placed Huaisang’s laptop before him. “I have the quotes. You word vomit on here. Throw some underscores in where you want a quote, and I’ll put in what works after. Go,” he motioned to the laptop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>fries the brain.</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>go baby go</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang finally leaned back dejectedly. Zixuan locked his phone and took the laptop from him to read through. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan said nothing about the content of the paper but immediately started putting in the corresponding quotes and citing it, only occasionally writing additional points and changing the order of some sentences. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang searched through Zixuan’s bag for snacks in the meantime. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at the clock after plowing through the paper. “Okay you’re about half a page short, and I increased the spacing just slightly. You should get a decent enough grade that wouldn’t hurt your overall grade,” he clicked around on the screen. “I don’t have time to reread though, you have fifteen minutes. You have to go print this.” He turned. “Is that my banana?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Huaisang said slowly, pushing the granola bar wrapper and empty pretzel bag behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he whined. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed, “Clean up, I’m going to print this,” he took the laptop and went to hook it up to the suite’s printer. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang threw all his trash away and brushed any and all (many) crumbs off the table. He joined Zixuan with both of their bags. “Thank you,” he pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” Zixuan watched the printer spit out the pages.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want five dollars?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What, no,” Zixuan laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang shot him a pointed look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keep your damn dollars.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Take my dollars, Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>your dollars,” he handed Huaisang his closed laptop with the paper and took his bag back. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll buy you a snack with the dollars,” he walked beside him out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... What kind of snack?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Gummy bears.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... I accept.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for driving me home,” Huaisang put his things away tiredly. “And for helping me with the paper.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” Zixuan popped a gummy bear into his mouth. “Take a nap. It’ll be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My grade is going to drop,” Huaisang changed his clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan froze at the sound of the front door opening. He stepped out of view from Huaisang’s door, the nervousness bubbling in his chest. He still hasn’t told Huaisang. What if Mingjue already knew though? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>… He shouldn’t be here. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan felt nauseous. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He heard the sound of what he assumed was Mingjue’s bedroom door closing down the hallway. Mingjue was likely still avoiding Zixuan as well. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He really shouldn’t be here. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shouldn’t be here without telling Huaisang…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you staying,” Huaisang asked, crawling onto his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No; I have to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang pulled the blankets up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t leave the room though. He really needed to tell Huaisang. “...Uhm, Huaisang?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I talk to you about something first?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t open his eyes, “Can it wait,” he pouted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Yeah, sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His heart rate picked up a dangerous pace. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What am I doing</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He practically raced out of the house. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He should’ve pushed Huaisang to listen to him now. Why did no moment feel right to tell him?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe the “right” moment didn’t exist.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He just had to tell him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0084"><h2>84. Again... This Friend Group</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>snack</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian reiterated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please stop saying that,” Huaisang begged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y’know,” Wuxian kicked his feet up. “I hated the mustache at first but… I kind of love it now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you go back to talking about Lan Wangji instead?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just asked me to stop!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was a mistake, I revoke my comment,” Huaisang announced. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you mean that,” Wuxian laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Yeah, I don’t. Talk about something else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very unlike you,” Wuxian pointed out in amusement. “You used to love talking about boys.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still do!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so update me on your life! I haven’t heard you talk about </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>you were interested in since I moved here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian smirked and nudged his knee. “Go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have anyone to talk about,” Huaisang admitted. “Just talk about Wangji.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Best bean, great friend, super pretty, wow, 10/10,” Wuxian summarized. “Okay your turn.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I really don’t have anyone to talk about,” Huaisang shrugged. “Oh, before I forget though, in class-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s throat went dry. “What about him? You know he never talks about-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-I don’t care about who he’s fucking.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what about him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t you had a crush on him? Let’s talk about him!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Since </span>
  <em>
    <span>when</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” He didn’t want to engage in this conversation but he wanted to know what Wuxian thought. Maybe Wuxian saw something before he did.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Since... The last couple years? In the very least?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang blinked. Years? “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Years</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, I was far too busy chasing other boys-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can have a crush on someone and not try anything with them,” Wuxian rolled his eyes. “You’re going to tell me that you </span>
  <em>
    <span>haven’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> liked Zixuan, even </span>
  <em>
    <span>once</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” Huaisang turned back to his bag, looking for the reading. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian hummed, “I don’t believe that. Y’know, Jiang Cheng was actually the-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell that bitch to keep my name out of his mouth,” Huaisang rolled his eyes, “It’s just Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that the point?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Okay, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’s Jin Zixuan, hot rich daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian cackled, “I knew it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As if you haven’t had a tiny crush on him at some point.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian bit back a laugh, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Crush</span>
  </em>
  <span>? No. Not a crush. I don’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>acknowledge </span>
  </em>
  <span>straight people if I can help it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… Well, it’s just superficial anyways. It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It doesn’t count.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just superficial?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang stressed. “We’re friends, Wuxian.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You just so happen to have a crush on him-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember when you thought I had a crush on </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian shook his head, “No, no, you didn’t have a crush. I was just a hot piece of ass-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and that’s what he is,” Huaisang shrugged. “Unlike with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> though, that’s just not going to happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian pursed his lips. “... Well, technically, that didn’t happen either. We couldn’t take it seriously for more than a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I mean,” Huaisang huffed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Fair enough I guess,” Wuxian sighed. “But </span>
  <em>
    <span>hypothetically</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Huaisang muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Say, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> straight,” Wuxian pondered. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Would </span>
  </em>
  <span>you try for it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang rolled his eyes, “I’m not talking about this because it’s never going to happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian sighed, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I just think that-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue walked in, “Huais- oh. Hi Wuxian.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian smirked. “Hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang spoke up, “Homework-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Talking about you,” Wuxian smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Flattered. Don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’re so-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hit Wuxian’s arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue chuckled and backed out the door. “Give it up, Wuxian.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Never</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re an idiot,” Mingjue left them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he yelled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t,” Mingjue called back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>fellas, is it weird</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>backfired on wuxian</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wen ning is here to redirect attention</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was still trying to figure out when to tell Huaisang…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he could just go back to normal, pretend it never happened, and when he finds out, he finds out…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That is so shitty</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Zixuan couldn’t even imagine that situation ever playing out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had to just… do it. Soon. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He just had to find a time to see him outside of class and just… Say it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But the last few days he only ever saw him in class. Huaisang was busy with classes and the theatre department. He didn’t have time to hang out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And when Huaisang was around, Zixuan was too busy kissing his dad’s ass. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He thought he could get on his father’s good graces again… Maybe he could stop this from even happening. Then he wouldn’t have to say anything to Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not that he ever left his good graces to begin with. Which meant there wasn’t much hope of turning the situation around. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to text Huaisang and figure out a time to talk to him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced down at his phone when Yanli’s ringtone sounded abruptly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>… Right after this-</span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">he’s not wrong </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan walked into the apartment with a large paper bag under his arm, “Honey, I’m home,” he sang out happily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian stared at him in shock. “Zixuan, I swear,” he dropped a hand on his chest where his heart was still racing. “I thought someone was breaking in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lock your door,” he sang out dramatically again. “Anyways,” he put the bag down. “I present: </span>
  <em>
    <span>food</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Wuxian paused. “What food,” he walked over to the counter with his eyebrows raised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Food of many</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan started pulling things out with a pleased grin. “I have burgers, fries,” he set each item down as he listed it, “Bananas, French bread pizzas, some ramen if you want, cool ranch Doritos, gummy bears- oh sorry, those are for me- Sour Patch Kids- those are for you-, a single muffin - I took a bite out of it-, and some Yoo-hoos.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian stared at all the items. “Did you stop by a McDonald’s and a gas station?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why yes, yes I did,” Zixuan popped open a Yoo-hoo. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Two</span>
  </em>
  <span> gas stations.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian opened the other and clinked it against Zixuan’s, “I knew I liked you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a relief,” Zixuan muttered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian scoffed in response. “There’s still a deepset hate, don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, great,” Zixuan nodded, “I was concerned.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>sleepover</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you mad at him or something,” Wuxian asked tiredly, watching Zixuan ignore a second message from Huaisang that night.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm? No?” Zixuan’s brows knitted with worry, “Why would you think that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a guess. But Huaisang thinks something is wrong with you,” Wuxian pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He said that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Zixuan glanced down at his phone but didn’t pick it up. “I just have to tell him something but also really don’t want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Silence. “Well I’m sure Huaisang won’t judge you for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that,” Zixuan sighed. “I think he’ll be mad though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian hesitated, “I really have no idea what you could have done that would ever make Huaisang </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad</span>
  </em>
  <span> mad,” he replied honestly. “I would just talk to him. Sooner rather than later.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Text him,” Wuxian suggested. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right.. Now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0085"><h2>85. The Jins Group Chat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Happy Tuesday,” Wuxian grumbled into his pillow miserably. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wake up,” Zixuan nudged him. “Let’s get breakfast before class.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You kick in your sleep,” Wuxian rolled to the edge of the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No I don’t,” Zixuan frowned, rubbing his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian groaned, sitting up to crack his back. “How exactly would you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled into the middle of the bed and got comfortable with the ample space. “Because I know that I don’t.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because Huaisang told him he didn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng always used to complain when they were younger that Zixuan sometimes kicked in his sleep but Huaisang always told Zixuan that he didn’t when he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Wuxian,” Zixuan rolled out of bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What,” he called from the bathroom. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If I got Jiang Cheng that strawberry Nesquick milk, would he still put it in his cereal?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely,” Wuxian rinsed his toothbrush. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed in amusement, “A choice. But I guess I respect it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He opened the cabinet and looked for the wooden toothbrush among all the colorful ones.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled out his toothbrush, “... Wuxian… Is this the toothpaste from my apartment?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah,” Wuxian tied his hair with a ribbon, looking at his reflection. “I stole it from your cabinet a couple days ago when I was over because we ran out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan popped it open, “Or I dunno, just ask. I was wondering where it went.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh,” Wuxian sat on the edge of the small tub. “So what’s your family group chat look like? Did you check it yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan replied around the toothbrush. “I’d rather get my day going first before I get myself into that probable mess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe Jingyi hacked them,” Wuxian sighed happily. “Some people just deserve that kind of shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Those three definitely do,” Zixuan agreed. He spit into the sink.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Jingyi going to get shit for this though?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan replied. “He officially has three Jins who would declare his innocence.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Three?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you see how Guangyao reacted to the whole thing? I am fairly positive he would pay him to do it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, speaking of paying,” Wuxian changed quickly in excitement and made his way back to Zixuan. “After Wen Ning tweeted about Venmo-ing Jingyi, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bunch</span>
  </em>
  <span> of people started doing the same. I gotta ask him what people were giving him but that list was </span>
  <em>
    <span>long</span>
  </em>
  <span> when I looked,” Wuxian smiled widely. “Jingyi is possibly the most liked person on campus right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Zixuan leaned against the counter. “He deserves that, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How right you are,” Wuxian’s phone rang quietly in his hand. Unknown Caller. “Hmm?… Hello,” he held the phone up to his ear. Wuxian straightened, swallowing hard. “Madam Yu-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s interest spiked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s phone dinged on the table beside him where he and Wuxian sat outside the cafeteria, eating the breakfast they had just bought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It must’ve been Huaisang asking for his smoothie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone was on Do Not Disturb still but he had his friends and the freshman four on Emergency Bypass. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, and-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed and scrolled through the messages.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the same few who always participated in occasional gossiping, that were messaging in the family group chat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Zixuan read quickly to catch up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What a fucking mess. This was stress that he did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to add to his day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>enter the jins, stage left</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>enter zixuan, stage right</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan protecc</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan walked into the otherwise empty classroom. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian beelined for their friends while Zixuan went to Guangyao. “How’d it go?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao looked up from his phone. “Fine. I had nothing of value to contribute. I reiterated the same things I said in the chat. He wasn’t too happy, but,” Guangyao shrugged. “You should go with Jin Ling though. He’s probably going to come down hard on him to see if he really knows nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Zixuan nodded. “He’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao muttered, “Just play stupid.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just play stupid,” Zixuan nodded. Something they used to say to each other when it came to their father. “Did Dad mention anything about what Zixun said to him? About why he thinks Jingyi hacked him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Guangyao said slowly. “I haven’t spoken to him, or the others, but it looks like they tried to fight Wuxian and his friends?” He waved his hand. “I don’t know. I don’t care. But I hope he does it again. You should’ve seen Zixun this morning with all the texts he was still getting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">can be</span>
</p><p> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0086"><h2>86. Finally Caught Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW// arranged marriages mentioned</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You look exhausted,” Huaisang pointed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rubbed his eyes and pushed the driver’s seat back, “What an understatement,” he snorted. “Been hanging around my dad way too much lately. And now this Jingyi thing has thrown everything around with my family.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang raised an eyebrow. “Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, yeah,” Zixuan folded a leg under him and took his cup from the holder. “Jin Ling would have cracked if he went to see my dad alone. He told me he would have. He was kind of torn up about that. Something about being an awful person, not protecting Jingyi, and my dad being scary.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned, “Well I’m glad you went then,” Huaisang leaned against the car door. “Guangshan is pretty scary, a massive dick, but scary. No offense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tilted his head, “Anyways, what did you want to talk about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan bit his lip nervously. “I, uh… There’s something that I haven’t told you about yet because I couldn’t find the right time to bring it up.” He added, more to himself than for Huaisang to hear, “Which is a bullshit excuse…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine, I get it,” Huaisang smiled reassuringly. “So what’s been going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guangshan has been pushing for me to get married, and now Guangyao.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Huaisang blinked. Well he knew about Yanli, so that wasn’t anything new. “Guangyao? Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Guangyao is being set up with Qin Su,” Zixuan said. He wiped at the condensation on the cup in his hands. “.... They changed everything. The whole plan changed. It’s so much worse now.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s eyebrows knit together in thought. Worse? “I’m not following.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sat up straighter to try and prepare himself. Huaisang thought he looked quite small despite it. “Madam Yu found out Yanli was dating Wen Qing and she told my mom,” he started. “I know I joke around with Yanli about getting married a lot, but it was literally in our plans. And… My mom is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> happy right now. My dad gave up on the Jiangs. He didn’t think that it was going to happen for quite some time, so he started planning things behind her back.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“For Guangyao?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned the cup in his hands nervously. “My dad is using Guangyao as a </span>
  <em>
    <span>distraction </span>
  </em>
  <span>since my engagement fell through… So-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Qin Su.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan bit the inside of his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, got it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He said he needed to find some options that would be most beneficial for us. More than what we would have gained if I married Yanli.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I ever told you but,” Zixuan scratched his eyebrow. “Uhm, Yanli and I have a marriage pact?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, yes,” Huaisang replied, “Because of your parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan shook his head. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>We</span>
  </em>
  <span> made the pact. It ends two years after graduation.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When we made it we agreed that in 8 years if we were both single, we would just get married without making a big deal out of it,” Zixuan explained. “We talked about it recently, since she’s obviously pretty serious about Wen Qing… and we talked </span>
  <em>
    <span>with </span>
  </em>
  <span>Wen Qing about it….”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang stayed quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The new agreement was two years after graduation, if I was dating some other girl by then, then Yanli would try and convince our parents to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> marry us, and come up with some other way to bring the clans closer together in the future. Which means we’d have to involve Jiang Cheng,” he rubbed his eyes again. “And we hope that </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> parents agree to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah… And if you’re not?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then,” Zixuan sighed. “We sit down and talk about our best options. Between the three of us. And if I’m able to back out of an arranged marriage entirely, then I do that. The two of them want to try and figure out what to do if I can’t, but I don’t want to do that if they’re still together y’know? It’s not fair to them. They shouldn’t have to figure out anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Understandable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But all of that is </span>
  <em>
    <span>pointless</span>
  </em>
  <span> now because my dad already gave up on me and Yanli.” He made a mental note to himself that he still hadn’t spoken to Yanli about it yet. “I’m just completely revoking the pact because there’s no point in it. I’m cornered and I don’t know how to stop it now without Yanli.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan put his cup down. He wanted to stop this conversation now. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He ran his hand over his face, “They uhm… Huaisang, they’re setting me up with someone else after graduation.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Who?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan let out a small sigh and looked up at Huaisang with nothing but disappointment and regret written across his face.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your cousin.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t react. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> there was never a chance between them, but this? Hearing this actually fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>. This felt like a stab in the fucking heart. This felt like the universe was rubbing it in his face now.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>how </span>
  </em>
  <span>to react. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His cousin? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Which cousin? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Since when did his Uncle even want to marry anyone off? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When did they even meet about this? He hadn’t been in Lanling in forever. He only ever sent Mingjue.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked away in complete disbelief. Despite himself, he actually scoffed out loud.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan felt like he fucked up. God he should have never kissed Huaisang. He never should’ve done anything with him. They were fine as just friends. It wouldn’t have mattered before.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He could’ve prevented all of this if he never-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang asked suddenly, “Which cousin?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shook his head, “I don’t know yet. He didn’t tell me. I think my mom is pushing for Daiyu.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He wants me to get married after graduation. He doesn’t want to risk anything after Yanli. He thinks I wasted my time ‘chasing’ her... I… I don’t know how to even attempt to get out of this without Yanli.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I don’t know.” God if Zixuan couldn’t even come up with a plan, then how was </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>supposed to get him out of it? “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to do. It’s not fair.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not.” Huaisang’s expression was tight. It was too composed now that he’s processed what Zixuan told him… He was going to marry his cousin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t think the concept of marrying Yanli was so bad. Zixuan knew her. He was comfortable with her. The idea was familiar to him. They were close friends. They were raised together with this idea in their heads. And he always figured, if they found a way out of it, they’d find one together.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But this? Marrying someone he rarely spoke to? Someone he didn’t love in any aspect? Yanli got out without serious repercussions but he was stuck?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That wasn’t something he could wrap his head around. That’s not how this was supposed to happen.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And the fact that it was someone Huaisang was close to? “Huaisang, I would never do this- if I had any say I wouldn’t have picked- I am so sorry-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry,” Huaisang stopped him. “That I don’t know how to get you out of this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He had to bitterly remind himself that Zixuan and him weren’t supposed to be anything. Friends with benefits. There wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be any feelings involved. Zixuan had no reason to apologize. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Daiyu is my favorite cousin… I’m sure you’ll like her the more you get to know her. She’s nice,” is all he could come up with to say.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry, Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I should have told you when I found out,” Zixuan replied. “I should have said something when I… I should’ve told…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang bit his cheek. “You knew when you came over the other night, right? That’s what the drama at Carp Tower was?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan felt sick. He felt like such an ass. “Yeah…” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang chewed his lip.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry. I should’ve said something instead-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright. You didn’t have to at all. You aren’t obligated to, y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that but,” Zixuan paused. “It feels wrong not to. It feels like I’m lying about something important because,” he stopped abruptly. “I should’ve said something instead of asking you to kiss me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed heavily, “Actually… I’m glad you didn’t. I definitely prefer kissing you than finding out you’re marrying my cousin. It’s just a tad awkward,” he laughed humorlessly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Should I not have said anything at all,” Zixuan asked cautiously, afraid of the answer. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang started shaking his head. He definitely preferred to find out now than later on, or even from his family. He appreciated that much. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s entire expression deepened into worry, “God, Huaisang, I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Huaisang reached out, “Stop. That’s not what I was going to say. It’s okay. I appreciate you telling me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you upset?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yes. A million times yes. His body felt tingly, and his head fuzzy. “No,” Huaisang gave him a reassuring smile, “It’s okay, really. This doesn’t mean anything anyways. No strings attached.” He silently thanked the universe for not giving anything away in his voice. “Right?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wanted to cry, </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> cry. “Right,” he nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s grip around his cup tightened. “Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p></p><div class="css-1dbjc4n">
  <p></p>
  <div class="css-901oao r-1fmj7o5 r-1qd0xha r-1i10wst r-16dba41 r-135wba7 r-bcqeeo r-bnwqim r-qvutc0">
    <p>
      <span class="u">
        <span class="css-901oao css-16my406 r-poiln3 r-bcqeeo r-qvutc0">happy for wen ning :(</span>
      </span>
    </p>
  </div>
</div><div class="css-1dbjc4n">
  <p></p>
  <div class="css-1dbjc4n">
    <p></p>
    <div class="css-1dbjc4n">
      <p></p>
      <div class="css-1dbjc4n r-1kqtdi0 r-1867qdf r-1phboty r-rs99b7 r-l71dzp r-1ny4l3l r-1udh08x r-o7ynqc r-6416eg">
        <p></p>
        <div class="css-1dbjc4n">
          <p></p>
          <div class="css-1dbjc4n r-1adg3ll r-1udh08x">
            <p> </p>
          </div>
          <div class="css-1dbjc4n r-1adg3ll r-1udh08x">
            <p> </p>
          </div>
          <div class="css-1dbjc4n r-1adg3ll r-1udh08x">
            <p> </p>
          </div>
          <div class="css-1dbjc4n r-1adg3ll r-1udh08x">
            <p>
              <span>Huaisang could feel the frustration building just by seeing Mingjue’s face. He was sitting on the floor at the coffee table, typing away on his laptop. </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Huaisang wanted to yell at him. He must’ve known. Their uncle was the one sending him. He doesn’t send him into any situation blindly.</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>He took a deep breath and beelined towards him. He knelt across the table and stared at him until he looked up. </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Hi?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Ask me.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Mingjue could tell something was wrong by the hardness of his tone. He closed the laptop slowly, “Ask what?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Ask me about Zixuan,” he demanded. </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Mingjue’s stomach dropped. “What?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Let’s talk about Zixuan,” Huaisang pushed. “I know you have questions. I have questions for you too.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Of course Huaisang pretended before. He had known Mingjue came home early the other night all along. </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Mingjue sighed heavily and scratched his eyebrow. “Uh, okay… Are you guys together?”</span>
            </p>
          </div>
          <div class="css-1dbjc4n r-1adg3ll r-1udh08x">
            <p> </p>
          </div>
          <div class="css-1dbjc4n r-1adg3ll r-1udh08x">
            <p>
              <span>“No. We’re just fucking around.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Mingjue’s lip curled. “A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed.” Huaisang didn’t reply. He was waiting for more questions. “Okay… Do you like him though?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Yes.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“... Does he like you?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“I don’t know.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Does he know that you like him?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“No, and I’m not going to tell him.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Why?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Why are you always going to Carp Tower?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Mingjue blinked. What? “I’m friends with Guangyao-”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“No,” Huaisang stopped him. “I’m talking about your meetings with Guangshan.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Well they’re barely meetings,” Mingjue corrected. “I’m just bringing things back and forth between him and Uncle. You know that, Huaisang.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Do you ever know </span>
              <em>
                <span>what</span>
              </em>
              <span> it is though?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Yes?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“So you know about the arranged marriage.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Yes?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Huaisang wanted to scream. “Who is it?”</span>
            </p>
            <p> </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Daiyu.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Huaisang scoffed. </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Why do you care?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Are you kidding,” Huaisang glared. “Do you ever listen to me?”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Huaisang, I </span>
              <em>
                <span>am</span>
              </em>
              <span>,” Mingjue responded. “But how do you even know about that? And what does that have to do with Zixuan? It’s not like Daiyu is getting married to </span>
              <em>
                <span>him</span>
              </em>
              <span>. It’s Jiang Yanli; you </span>
              <em>
                <span>know </span>
              </em>
              <span>that.” Huaisang pushed himself off the ground with a bitter laugh. Mingjue was quick to follow him out into the kitchen, “Huaisang, wait,” he reached for his wrist. </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Huaisang pulled away. “Ask Uncle. Ask him! Why would he </span>
              <em>
                <span>ever </span>
              </em>
              <span>have his own daughter marry </span>
              <em>
                <span>anyone </span>
              </em>
              <span>from the Jin Clan if it wasn’t Zixuan? Hm? It’s not one of his cousins. It’s definitely not Guangyao. It’s </span>
              <em>
                <span>him</span>
              </em>
              <span>.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“But, Yanli-”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“He’s not marrying Yanli. He’s marrying Daiyu. Zixuan told me.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“... Huaisang, I-... I’m sorry-”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Huaisang’s eyes watered angrily. He was pissed. Not with Zixuan. Not with Mingjue. Not with Daiyu. Not with their Uncle. Not even with Guangshan. </span>
            </p>
          </div>
          <div class="css-1dbjc4n r-1adg3ll r-1udh08x">
            <p> </p>
          </div>
          <div class="css-1dbjc4n r-1adg3ll r-1udh08x">
            <p>
              <span>He was pissed at himself. “I shouldn’t have kissed him.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Mingjue frowned watching Huaisang wipe away the frustrated tears. He reached for his brother again. “Huaisang…” </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>Huaisang pushed his hand again. </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“Huaisang, it’s okay,” Mingjue grabbed onto his hand as he tried to back up.</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“No it’s </span>
              <em>
                <span>not</span>
              </em>
              <span>,” Huaisang tried to pull his hand back; he gasped, a wave of tears streaming down his face. “I’m a fucking idiot.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“No, you’re not.” Mingjue wrapped his arms around his brother, “You’re not.”</span>
            </p>
            <p>
              <br/>
            </p>
            <p>
              <span>“... It was a mistake…”I-I shouldn’t have kissed him,” he cried into Mingjue’s shoulder. “It was a mistake.”</span>
            </p>
            <p> </p>
            <p>
              <span class="u">wen ning has been updated </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
            <p> </p>
            <p>
              <span class="u">coparenting phone call </span>
            </p>
            <p>  </p>
            <p> </p>
            <p>
              <span class="u">greatest mistress in history </span>
            </p>
            <p> <br/><br/></p>
            <p> </p>
            <p>
              <span class="u">after the phone call </span>
            </p>
            <p>
              
            </p>
          </div>
        </div>
      </div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0087"><h2>87. Carp Tower Visit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW// arranged marriages mentioned</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">jc’s is for another day (pls look forward to pt 2 of the main au yeehaw) </span>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://t.co/iLPZyJy47K?amp=1">Zixuan’s Playlist</a>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>"This is embarrassing," Zixuan muttered under his breath to Guangyao. "I didn't have to do this for Yanli."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm pretty sure you did when you were little," Guangyao pointed out quietly. He wasn't considered 'important' then so he never had to line up with the family. Now he stood beside a wildly disamused Zixuan. "You might want to look like you care about making a good impression," he suggested. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan closed his eyes and exhaled. Snapping into the perfect son and future clan leader on a dime wasn't hard. He just didn't care about being either of those things enough to do it right now. </p><p> </p><p>He squared his shoulders and opened his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Madam Jin walked over and straightened Zixuan's already perfect hair and looked up at him. "If you want to screw this up on purpose I won't tell your father," she whispered. "I can talk to Ziyuan again."</p><p> </p><p>"It's fine," Zixuan replied.</p><p> </p><p>"Wouldn't you prefer to marry Jiang Yanli," her eyes pleaded quietly. </p><p> </p><p>Her vision of the future had changed so drastically from what she always wanted. Her son  married to her best friend's daughter. Her son stepping up as clan leader with Yanli by his side; a kind leader with a beautiful and loving family. Watching her son thrive with the only one she ever imagined marrying him. They got along so well. They understood each other. They were practically best friends. </p><p> </p><p>They actually deserved each other. </p><p> </p><p>But Guangshan went behind her back. </p><p> </p><p>She needed her son to say so and she would immediately step in and mess up the whole thing for him. </p><p> </p><p>"I can't marry her either, Mom." Zixuan was tired. Tired of his father's demands and his mother's expectations. "This is what's best for the clan. That's the priority."</p><p> </p><p>Madam Jin didn't like that answer. </p><p> </p><p>Madam Jin and Guangyao shared a look. </p><p> </p><p>He sounded a bit like Guangshan.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Clan Leader Nie was flanked by Daiyu and Mingjue; Huaisang just a step behind Mingjue. </p><p> </p><p>Guangyao watched Huaisang with interest. He always held his head up high, especially at Carp Tower. But not this time. He looked wildly uninterested in being there. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan clenched and unclenched his jaw. He didn't like this. He didn't like any of this. </p><p> </p><p>He felt sick watching Daiyu greet his mother, closing the fan she had been holding, dipping her head politely. </p><p> </p><p>"Zixuan," Guangshan said coming up behind him, dropping a hand onto his shoulder. "Why don't you show her around while I speak with her uncle and Mingjue?"</p><p> </p><p>Great, that meant that Guangyao was stuck with Huaisang. </p><p> </p><p>Huaisang was about as thrilled as Guangyao was. "We don't have to talk," he said to Guangyao when everyone went off in different directions. </p><p> </p><p>"Okay."</p><p> </p><p>"Can you give me the address for the place Zixuan works for again though?"</p><p> </p><p>"Do you want me to bring you there?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">kick him out i say </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">jc and wwx getting caught up, sort of </span>
</p><p><br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t bother looking back as Guangyao drove away. He had his own things to do; Huaisang would just wait for him to get back later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He roamed around aimlessly. It was still a little weird knowing that Zixuan worked here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wished he could just spend the day when Zixuan was here. To see how he was in a place like this. What he did. How he interacted with people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>… maybe it was better that he didn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How can I help you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang turned around to see Granny Xiao walking up to him. “I’m just looking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Granny Xiao looked him over before smiling brightly, “You’re that boy who was with Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yes that’s me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not working today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Huaisang nodded. “I was just at Carp Tower.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Granny Xiao tapped her chin in thought. “...Huaisang? Nie Huaisang?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s me,” Huaisang confirmed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How was his pie, darling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His… pie? Zixuan doesn’t bake,” he told her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Granny Xiao tsked, “You don’t even know yet,” she laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you like a cup of tea?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What’s happening?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><span class="u">thoughts</span> </p><p>
  <em> <br/> <br/><br/></em>
</p><p><span class="u">zixuan really said f*%k it</span> </p><p> <br/> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0088"><h2>88. Honey Whiskey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/><br/></p><p>
  <span>The bar was full of drunk kids from UCR, making absolute fools of themselves but no one really gave a shit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Any time there was karaoke night, all of Huaisang’s other friends and classmates would show up, and he always ditched the h8rs for them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except for tonight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because he was going to get trashed with Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s been a mess about him lately, and he wanted to be done with that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had time to do whatever the fuck he wanted with Zixuan still. He was going to make use of that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clearly that’s what Zixuan intended to do as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian had attached himself to Huaisang throughout the night, and the two of them were quick to get drunk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> invested in karaoke on top of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Having already gotten Zixuan and Jiang Cheng to participate in public, their only goal was to get Wen Ning to sing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>happy feet kin</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan answered his phone, stopping some conversation he really didn’t want to be having at the bar with Yang Zi and Zhang Yu. “Hello? Whaddya want, kid?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is that noise?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked over at Jiang Cheng singing with some random guy, both drunk and off key. “Jiang Cheng singing,” he said sadly. “He’s embarrassing me, Jin Ling.” Wait, was it Jin Ling? He checked his phone. “Oh! Hi!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you drunk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced over at his friends. Wen Ning talking with Huaisang and someone from their Ethical Response class, Wuxian off to the side dancing. “Not enough,” he pouted. Wuxian reached down from where he was dancing and picked up Zixuan’s drink that he just got. “Wuxian that is mine!!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then buy me one!” He whined before he gasped and rushed for him. “Who is that? Is that my sister? I wanna talk to her!” He reached excitedly for the phone only to knock it out of Zixuan’s hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wuxian</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” He drooped his shoulders in annoyance as Wuxian rushed to pick it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, sorry…” He wiped the phone down and confirmed that the screen was still in one piece. Not that it would have been the first time he shattered Zixuan’s phone by mistake. “Hello?.......” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he frowned at the sound of Jin Ling responding. He thrust the phone back into Zixuan’s hand. “It’s not her… Here you go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes and grumbled into the phone, “Any</span>
  <em>
    <span>ways</span>
  </em>
  <span>. ‘Sup?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan listened to the freshmen on the other end of the call. He tried to focus on what they were saying despite all the noise and wanting to go back over to where Wen Ning and Huaisang were. Huaisang doubled over in laughter. “Lan Qiren?” He pictured Noah the Elder and chuckled. “Well, he’s mean for one.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Zixuan,” Jin Ling sighed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not</span>
  </em>
  <span> Noah the Elder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t really sure why they wanted to know about his dad and Lan Qiren. He didn’t know anything about it… Yet, anyways. He would have to be brought in on that sooner than later. He only knew that it had to be kept quiet about. But hey, if Jingyi wanted to expose them or something, then so be it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’d you go,” Huaisang pouted when Zixuan rejoined them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Freshmen Four,” he shook his phone before pocketing it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang eyed Zixuan with curiosity. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Ts gross in here.” Huaisang grabbed his sleeve and started pulling him along. “Letsgo outside!” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan took </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> drink from Wuxian’s hand and downed half of it, before actually letting Huaisang drag him towards the door. Wuxian yelled and snatched it back before Zixuan was too far out of reach. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>drunk</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan stated with a chuckle letting Huaisang stumble along in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang stopped in his tracks. Oh. “You’re not.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>drunk </span>
  </em>
  <span>drunk.” Zixuan shook his head. “Unlike you, I took a water break.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… Still wanna get shitfaced?” Huaisang asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mn,” Zixuan nodded once. Absolutely.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was still holding onto his sleeve. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Come,” he instead pulled Zixuan to the bar. “Honey whiskey,” he leaned over to tell the bartender. “Keep ‘em comin’, please.” He looked at Zixuan, determined. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, ho,” Zixuan watched the shot glasses lined up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Get shitfaced, Zixuan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s phone kept going off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan chased Huaisang’s lips as he pulled away. He kissed down his neck instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Annoyed, Huaisang grabbed Zixuan’s phone and unlocked it with his own thumbprint. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinked hard to focus on the words from Wen Ning’s text. “Zixuan- looking for us-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sat back, “Who?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning,” Huaisang huffed and dropped the phone back onto the seat, “He wants to go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kay,” Zixuan covered Huaisang’s exposed shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning was running around herding his friends to the same section of the bar so they could all leave. It was not out of the question for Huaisang or Jiang Cheng to end up outside for some reason or another. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning was already dragging Jiang Cheng back inside by his hand. “We can go on an adventure later,” Wen Ning told him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When ’m not so wobbly,” Jiang Cheng stated with confidence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wen Ning agreed, nearing Zixuan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning rolled eyes at the sight of Zhang Yu hanging all over Zixuan. He didn’t really know who she was but knew that Zixuan was friends with her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning pulled Jiang Cheng along. “Sit,” he instructed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pout,” Jiang Cheng said back to him, pointing to Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Drink your water,” Wen Ning told the smaller man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanna dance. This is too slow,” he replied. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Too </span>
  </em>
  <span>slow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll dance with you,” Jiang Cheng ate a fry. Wen Ning wasn’t even sure if those were theirs or someone else’s at this rate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s too slow, Jiang Cheng,” Huaisang repeated in frustration. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to find Wuxian. Stay here, and then we can go home. You can dance at home,” Wen Ning pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>guess</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang huffed as Wen Ning walked away. He heard Huaisang gasp loudly as the song changed, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> this song.” He turned to look at the person singing and it was one of the quiet girls from his Classical Composers course. It was likely she went up since most of the bar had been cleared out. “Yes Franz Liszt, sing!” He yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Who the fuck is Franz Listst,” Jiang Cheng asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Be quiet, you uncultured swine, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>listening</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang turned to face the girl. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Liszt-ening?” Jiang Cheng mumbled to himself</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning nudged Zixuan on his way by him, “Don’t let Jiang Cheng walk out again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Kay.” He looked to Zhang Yu. “Talk to you later.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning found Wuxian in the back. “Wuxian you aren’t staff you can’t be back here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Says who!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Me,” Wen Ning held out his hand. “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, ‘m textin’ Lan Zhan!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can still text him,” Wen Ning assured him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian grumbled with reluctance but let Wen Ning lead him back towards the direction of their friends. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wait! If Wen Ning was getting them to leave, it must have been late! He gasped, “Lan Zhan’s curfew!” He sat down and kept texting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sang dramatically while the girl from his class sang. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>For as long as I live, and as long as I love. I will <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/4fFfyouye6vrX9o9z4PVMu?si=232e2c6f075a4af3">never not</a> think about you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he reached for Jiang Cheng, pulling him in. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he grabbed Zixuan’s arm, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mmm! I will never not think about you!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sang with all his might, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>From the moment I laughed, I knew you were the one!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He let go of them and spun away to face them both head on. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>And no matter what I do! Ooh! Mmm! I will never not think about you!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first thing Wangji saw when he walked into the bar was Wen Ning trying to coax Wuxian into standing while Huaisang sang his heart out. “Wuxian, we’re leaving.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wangji smirked despite himself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he grumbled over his phone. “Lan Zhan din’t answer. ‘M gonna make sure he’s not comin’ first!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wei Ying,” Wangji spoke up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian gasped, breaking out into a smile. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Lan Zhan!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, sorry,” Wen Ning said to him. “I didn’t realize he asked you to come get him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Jiang Cheng nudged Zixuan, pushing him just a bit too hard. Zixuan grabbed onto Huaisang’s arm to stop himself from stumbling. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang threw his arms around Zixuan, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>To the room! In my heart, with the memories we made!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Sn’t it past You-Know-Who’s curfew?” Jiang Cheng asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at Jiang Cheng. “Voldemort?” Jiang Cheng pointed to Wangji.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang kept moving with them as they walked, turning his attention to Wen Ning, reaching out, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>There’s no way I could ever forget! Mmm-mmm-mmm!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll drive him,” Wangji told Wen Ning.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Wen Ning sighed, ignoring Huaisang even though he was clutching his robes while he sang. “Come on,” Wen Ning motioned to Jiang Cheng and Zixuan. “We’re going home.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“’m hungry,” Jiang Cheng whined.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not tired,” Zixuan added. “Can we do somethin’ else?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ooh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang suddenly stopped singing. “Musical marathon?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Wen Ning dragged them out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“‘m gonna make a cake too,” Huaisang held onto Wen Ning’s hand. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, alright.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning rolled out of bed tiredly. He opened his door carefully and padded down the short hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to make </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jiang Cheng was asleep. It didn’t matter that Jiang Cheng assumed something was going on between Zixuan and Huaisang, or in the very least that Huaisang liked Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t need to know anything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t need to say anything to the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng hadn’t been feeling too great so he insisted on sleeping in the living room because it was cooler out there. Maybe that worked out well in his favor. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The living room was dark as Wen Ning tiptoed around. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng was still knocked out, and luckily for Wen Ning, he had his phone and headphones on the floor beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning crouched down and took the earbuds, slowly placing them in Jiang Cheng’s ears. He punched in Jiang Cheng’s password, 5673, and put on some music; the volume low enough to not wake him up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning slouched down into the armchair, putting in his own earbuds and hugging the pillow to his chest. He figured he’d stay in the living for a bit in case Jiang Cheng did wake up. He wasn’t sure how he’d stop him from hearing anything happening in Zixuan’s room, but…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well he’d try his best to save them that conversation. </span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang grabbed his clothes from around the room quietly. He tried to recall everything that happened last night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt sick opening the door cautiously, listening to Wen Ning talk to Jiang Cheng. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to go home,” Jiang Cheng grumbled. “I’m going to puke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t,” Wen Ning glanced down the hall on his way into the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked away and slipped into the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang knew he wasn’t doing himself any favors after last night. He silently kicked himself… Because he would 100% do it again. </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan woke up with a start to a loud bang somewhere in his apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What the fuck time was it? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan peered around the room, reaching up to let his hair down from the messy bun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And where the hell was his phone?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan groaned and pulled himself to the edge of his bed to drink the water by his bedside. He didn’t remember having that there before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He held his head between his hands, his hair falling to curtain around him. “Fuck,” he sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He really needed to stop doing this. Every time he vowed to never get that drunk again, every time he vowed to not think about Huaisang... </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He always woke up confused and second guessing everything he did the night before. There were more productive ways to go about things but here he was. Making things harder for himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Especially now...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed and grabbed a robe from his closet. He tied it tightly over his bare waist, recalling the night. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Whiskey. Honey whiskey</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Zixuan felt nauseous. Yeah, no, this was the last time he was doing this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to quit while he was ahead. This was the last time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He padded around his room gathering the clothes that were thrown on the floor until he found his phone. He tossed the clothes onto his bed. Well… at least it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> late in the day. It wasn’t even 1pm yet. No calls incoming or outgoing. There were just a few texts from Yanli, one from Jin Han, and Zhang Yu. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yikes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ignored them all for the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He checked his social media quickly to make sure he didn’t post anything he shouldn’t have. Once he confirmed that he didn’t have to do any sort of damage control…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He compiled all of his bedding in his arms and set off to start a load of laundry after his shower. He took the clothes from last night and threw them in his basket to start after his sheets were done. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He could hear Wen Ning watching Happy Feet in the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was sure he gave Wen Ning a hell of a time last night. He would face him after he looked presentable.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He turned the water on in the shower and looked at himself in the mirror. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His hair was a mess. Bags under his eyes. He looked awful. He loosened his robe and turned away from the mirror.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over his shoulder to see his exposed back and long scratch marks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>What a wreck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>liar</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning ate his noodles while staring at the TV. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was in the kitchen, clicking back and forth between online menus for something to eat but nothing interested him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He gave up and dropped heavily down onto the armchair in the living room, dangling his feet off the armrest. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning looked at Zixuan from the corner of his eye. He had slouched down and leaned his head against the back of the chair. Wen Ning bit the inside of his cheek trying to not react. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he snorted loudly and snickered over his bowl. “Shut up,” Zixuan grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You good?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Regret getting shitfaced?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not answering that,” Zixuan replied gruffly, crossing his arms. Regret wasn’t the word he’d use. Wen Ning chuckled, watching him with amusement. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shut up</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan groaned covering his face. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m never doing this again,” he said into his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning laughed out once, “You are such a liar.” Zixuan groaned again in frustration. Wen Ning was probably right. For now anyways. “Here,” he held out his bowl of noodles. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Zixuan mumbled with a pout. “Can you start the movie over,” he asked quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning smirked and grabbed the remote.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>i cant ever take them seriously</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>blocked</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>paranoid</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0089"><h2>89. Cry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">(they don’t even know her name still) </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan could hear the TV before he even pulled his keys out. Wen Ning must’ve left it on from this morning. It wouldn’t have been the first time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He froze momentarily in the doorway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was curled up on the couch, wrapped in Wen Ning’s fluffiest blanket. “Huaisang?” Zixuan put his bag on the counter. “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sat up; he was crying and just cried harder when he saw Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Zixuan sat on the couch and wiped Huaisang’s face, “Why are you crying? What happened?” He cupped his cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hiccuped and grabbed Zixuan’s wrists, pulling his hands away. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span> this musical. It’s too sad.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced at the TV. “Is it Les Mis?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sniffled, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he near wailed. “It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>awful</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed and wiped Huaisang’s face again. “Okay, well I know something is wrong then. You only watch Les Mis when you’re trying to cry more.” Huaisang struggled to breathe normally because of his sob-induced tiny gasps. Zixuan frowned and pulled his legs up onto the couch. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed loudly, “I want to drop PoliSci.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You always say that,” Zixuan pointed out calmly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I know</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he huffed, his eyes watering. “I got my last two responses back and, I swear to god, Zixuan if I fail this class I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>dropping out</span>
  </em>
  <span> of school.” Huaisang was already reaching over the side of the couch for his bag before Zixuan could even ask. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> practically wrote one of these.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well that wasn’t true. He just helped Huaisang sharpen it up based on his own paper the year before. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang thrusted the paper into Zixuan’s hands and watched Zixuan’s face as he read through the comments. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s eyebrows knit together. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god,” Huaisang groaned, throwing his hands up to cover his face and falling back. “You agree with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Zixuan went to the second page. “Actually, I disagree with this.” Huaisang sat back up with a pout. “I mean… I’m obviously not a professor. But he picked apart the most random things. Also you cited it properly in the footnotes so I don’t understand this comment,” he motioned to the bottom of the page. “That’s… Literally the title of the article… Honestly,” Zixuan looked back up. “Huaisang you have written </span>
  <em>
    <span>much</span>
  </em>
  <span> worse and gotten the same grade.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks I think?” Huaisang sniffled. He tightened the blanket around him. “God, Zixuan, he’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I tried to talk to him about my grade after he handed these back, and he told me I’m just not cut out for this course and he cannot keep offering me extra credit since it’s ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>obvious I’m going to fail</span>
  </em>
  <span>’.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Talk to Mingjue,” Zixuan offered, handing the papers back to Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” he panicked. “He said he was going to talk to Mingjue after class anyways.” Huaisang shook his head. “He’s probably really disappointed already. These two grades just dropped me down more points. And I was finally getting my grade up.” His breathed in sharply, fresh tears flowing from his eyes, “I worked </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> hard-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-I know you did,” Zixuan said. “But that’s exactly why I think you should talk to Mingjue. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not</span>
  </em>
  <span> as your brother, but the head of the department. And that being said, he should </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> be going to your brother to give him updates on how you’re doing? You’re an adult? He has no business knowing if it doesn’t strictly require his attention, as </span>
  <em>
    <span>head of the department</span>
  </em>
  <span>. My dad has tried to get my professors to give him updates on me, and I had to sign a piece of paper saying it was okay before they did. Which I </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>sign, because he doesn’t need to know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sniffled, “Y’know he probably just goes into the system and checks.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He does,” Zixuan deadpanned. “He told me after I refused to sign the paper. But Mingjue isn’t my dad. Talk to him.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked down at the papers. “Most of the notes I get back are like this though,” he mumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but your tests and quizzes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned, “They’re okay, sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s your folder?” Huaisang passed it over and watched Zixuan silently. Zixuan flipped through them all, taking the dates on top of each item into consideration. After quite a while Zixuan looked up at Huaisang with fire in his eyes. This wasn’t right… “Do you want me to talk to him first?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re better with words,” Huaisang mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No I’m not,” he pulled his phone out. “I’m just angry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan found Mingjue’s number and called him immediately. He motioned at Huaisang to stop looking at the papers and took them back calmly. “Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Zixuan replied. He hadn’t spoken a word to Mingjue in quite a while now. Both of them knew he had been avoiding running into him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s up?” Mingjue was noticeably confused by the sudden call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to need you to let me talk for a second before you get mad at how I’m speaking to you,” Zixuan started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, okay. But I mean, maybe don’t?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I really have to. I am asking you to put your professor hat on because Huaisang is </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> upset and it’s not okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue was quiet for a moment. “Go ahead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan took a deep breath. “I know that Huaisang has had some trouble with his PoliSci course and his grade hasn’t always been the greatest but he has always worked really hard to keep his grade up in the course, especially lately. I have helped him with some of these assignments because I’ve taken this course with Professor Huang. And I know that Guangyao has helped him study. He has also looked over some of his responses as well. Now I know I’m not as well versed in the topic as Guangyao is, but some things just don’t really add up from what I’m looking at.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Explain,” Mingjue replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t seen any of the online work, but what’s sitting in front of me doesn’t make </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>sense. Some of these papers are… not good, yes, and they got the grade they deserved. They were rushed and the grade reflects that. But others, that clearly show the work and time put into it and actually make </span>
  <em>
    <span>sense</span>
  </em>
  <span>, are graded nearly the exact same. He’s tearing apart the grammar on some of these, but everything is already correct? There’s barely any misspellings. He’s citing properly. And for the tests, the penmanship is legible, but at the end of the pages, when Huaisang squeezes everything together to fit it in, he circled it and said it was too difficult to read and took points off,” Zixuan listed off. “Dude has perfect penmanship, you can’t not read it even when it’s tiny and squished, okay?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And,” Zixuan started flipping through the pages before Mingjue could respond, “For the record, the only reason he’s still floating by is probably because he is scoring near perfectly on any multiple choice, short answers, and fill-ins on his tests and quizzes. The only ones that he didn’t do well on, were the ones where he hadn’t prepared with Guangyao in some way or another.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That is a heavy accusation you’re leading to. As you said, you are not a professor, Jin Zixuan. You are a student,” he pointed out seriously. “How do you even know if those dates correspond to when he studied with Guangyao,” Mingjue asked. It was entirely against his nature to not side with his brother instantly, but in his position, he literally could not. He had to question everything that Zixuan gave him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I just </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>, okay, Mingjue?” Zixuan kept flipping, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>And</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I’d also like to add that Huaisang does really well on these extra credit assignments when they’re not essay-driven. He clearly understands the material enough to actually be doing pretty well in the course, whether he’s confident in it or not.” He paused and lowered his voice even though Huaisang could still hear him. “Honestly, he’s probably getting so worked up over the course because Professor Huang is a massive dick just fucking around with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, hold on, I’m not done,” Zixuan kept going. “I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> what Professor Huang says to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>about Huaisang, but first of all, he really shouldn’t be going to the head of the department for a student who is struggling in class, that literally doesn’t call for your attention; he isn’t even failing. Second of all, he shouldn’t be going to a student’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>family member</span>
  </em>
  <span> regarding his work, and not discussing it with the student instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I agree.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever the hell he </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> say to you, is probably bullshit? Like, when I drop Huaisang off later, just look at these papers. Whether or not it’s five star worthy work, it shouldn’t be graded the way that it has been. Nor does any of it call for the way that Professor Huang has been speaking to Huaisang all semester by the way. He is tearing his own student down. The number of times Huaisang has freaked out over this course, has just increased throughout the semester, and frankly I don’t think it’s just because he doesn’t get the material right away.” Zixuan huffed. “As the head of the department, it is your job to deal with this shit, so I’m bringing it to your attention, because it needs to be looked into. I’m not coming home to Huaisang crying over this fucking course </span>
  <em>
    <span>again </span>
  </em>
  <span>now that I know that Professor Huang is a fucking jerk who is both screwing with your brother’s grade </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> his head.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you done?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Yes, and I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“When Huaisang is home I will look at everything,” Mingjue started. “I can’t make Huaisang tell me what Professor Huang says to him, but if you could talk to him about that, I would appreciate it. Thank you for telling me about this issue,” Zixuan never had Mingjue talk to him like another student before. Frankly he expected to get chewed out. “Had I known that Professor Huang was not encouraging his students… I’ll handle it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Also,” Mingjue spoke up. He couldn’t leave it at that. He couldn’t end a conversation feeling like someone thought he didn’t protect his little brother. “Professor Huang has come to me regarding Huaisang numerous times but I have never let him speak to me about it. I wait for </span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang </span>
  </em>
  <span>to come to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You should tell him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Thanks again for letting me know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hung up and looked at Huaisang who looked sick with worry. “Am I in trouble?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not,” Zixuan replied. “Do you need to cry anyways?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang bit his bottom lip and nodded. The stress of the course had been getting to Huaisang, and it was entirely overwhelming. He couldn’t think about the course anymore without a deep dread building in his chest. Without feeling the pressure behind his eyes when he considered that </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> he only felt confident in reading the articles because he was missing something.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he wasn’t. Huaisang was a lot smarter on the subject than he gave himself credit for. He may hate the subject, but he understood it. It was just his professor who made him feel like he knew nothing on the topic. He made Huaisang feel so wildly stupid and incompetent on the subject matter. That wasn’t Huaisang’s fault. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan went back to play the end of Les Mis for Huaisang. Huaisang crawled over Zixuan’s lap and pressed his cheek into the arm of the couch. He covered half his face with the blanket. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t know the movie well besides quite literally all the saddest scenes. Especially the ending. Once Huaisang had made him and Jiang Cheng rewatch the same scene over and over again. “I couldn’t see it,” he had whined. “I was crying too hard to see it!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/5Yg4B6O0OGS5DFr327RV4i?si=0762bb0e0c324928">
    <em>
      <span>Come with me. Where chains will never bind you.</span>
    </em>
  </a>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang usually started crying hardest around this point so Zixuan let the hand that had been absentmindedly running over the soft blanket drop onto Huaisang’s waist.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Take my hand. I’ll lead you to salvation.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Take my love. For love is everlasting.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang lied under Zixuan’s arm sniffling, tiny gasps, and undoubtedly an endless supply of tears freely flowing. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you hear the people sing? Lost in the valley of the night?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You good,” Zixuan asked as he watched Huaisang aggressively wipe his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang shouted. “Zixuan, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so sad</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he looked up at him. “Why aren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>crying,” he accused. “Were you even watching? </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s so sad</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he cried out. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t cry, Huaisang,” he reminded him. “It’s not in my nature.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make it in your fucking nature,” Huaisang threatened. “I’ll find something that will make you cry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan scoffed. Huaisang was successfully distracted from why he felt the need to cry earlier. “Good luck but I’m physically incapable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, </span>
  <em>
    <span>whatever</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang grumbled, rolling to a stand and dropped the blanket onto Zixuan. “Man, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>this musical!” He walked angrily down the hall. “They didn’t need to go and put Fantine singing to him like that. There was no need-” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan couldn’t make out the rest of what Huaisang said the further away he got. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>the goal is to cry</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>at least they can still joke about this HHHH</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0090"><h2>90. Suspects</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moment Guangshan walked into Art &amp; Philosophy, everyone’s energies changed. Whether they had a reason or not.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao didn’t even look like he was breathing; he was stock still. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lan Xichen stood from where he was sitting on a desk discussing today’s topic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wangji glanced over his shoulder for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng stopped chewing the end of his pen as if his own mother walked in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning ducked his head lower.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Zixuan sat up straighter in his seat, but then again, he was always so quick to change everything about himself whenever his father was around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Xichen bowed his head in respect, or perhaps it was in expectation, “To what do we owe the pleasure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Making my rounds today,” Guangshan said jollily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian glanced at Wen Ning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What? What rounds? Bitch didn’t ever interact with students if he could help it. That’s what the Dean of Academic Affairs and the Dean of Student Success and Engagement were for. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But I would be lying if I didn’t say I also stopped in on my way to a meeting to ask how my son was doing,” Guangshan laughed, dropping a hand on Zixuan’s shoulder. Zixuan didn’t react. He kept his eyes on the board.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ouch. That was like a slap in the face to Guangyao. He and Zixuan made eye contact for a brief moment.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Xichen faltered for a quick moment. He smiled, “They’re both doing fantastic. This class is quite extraordinary, if I can add. I’m hoping some will consider switching departments. I’d love for you to sit in one day. The discussion is quite interesting.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it is fascinating,” Guangshan replied brightly. “Perhaps another time. I am pleased to see everyone is taking such detailed notes though,” he looked around like he actually cared. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan patted Huaisang’s shoulder on his way by. For that brief moment though it didn’t feel like his hand had been on his shoulder; it felt more like he was grabbing onto his collar. He was almost positive he must’ve flinched but Guangshan didn’t react so maybe that was also in his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang chewed on his bottom lip. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned his knee against Huaisang’s. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for stopping by,” Xichen replied.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you for tomorrow’s meeting,” Guangshan added. His assistant held the door for him before scurrying out behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright…” Xichen sighed. “...Where were we?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji spoke, “Mass production.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Xichen turned back to the room. “Wen Ning-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang and Zixuan spared each other a glance before looking back at Xichen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>for the love of god</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>beg</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>no &lt;3</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>hunting huaisang down</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>bye</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0091"><h2>91. Auntie Li Hua</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW// death of a family member; not a major character</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">tl update pt 2 </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">enter jin han </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you call Guangyao,” Zixuan asked, standing up from where he was sitting next to Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Jin Han paused on the other side of the phone. “No…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled his eyes. “I’ll call him. We’ll be up tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Might as well grab Jin Ling too. I haven’t called him yet either.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Bye.” He hung up and sighed. “I have to leave for a few days,” he told Huaisang as he started putting his things away.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan stopped himself from rushing by. “No,” he changed his answer. “I don’t think so… I have to go get Guangyao. Now.” He looked stressed and a little lost.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Go; update me later” Huaisang replied. “Call me, text me. Whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he leaned down and kissed Huasiang. He stepped back, confused, “Sorry, I don’t know why I-” he shook his head. He didn’t know why he kissed Huaisang goodbye so casually like it was something they did. “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll text you,” he rushed out the door. He really couldn’t wait around. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He called Wen Ning quickly while he was in the car to let him know. He added, “I’m going to get Guangyao first and bring him to the apartment, and then I’m going to head out.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, of course,” Wen Ning replied. “Let me know if you want me gone.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No it’s fine,” Zixuan started his car. “I’ll see you in a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you look like that,” Guangyao sat back down at his desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked so comfortable in his dorm, a stark comparison to how he moved around Carp Tower; in public even. His clothes were dark, and casual, his hair tied up into a neat bun. He even looked friendly. Relaxed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t want to tell him this in a place he seemed so comfortable in. Where else was he supposed to go?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look like someone died,” Guangyao pointed out. Zixuan didn’t reply. “... Who died…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How the fuck do you find the words for this? “Auntie Li Hua is getting worse,” Zixuan started. “Fast. They don’t think she’s going to get through the night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao blinked and shook his head in disbelief. “No, I just saw her last weekend,” he informed Zixuan. “She was okay. Bedbound, but okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao stared at Zixuan, hoping for the first time ever that he was just a little bit like Zixun and that he was just fucking with him. “But…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao looked down at the open textbook before him. “I-I have class tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan watched Guangyao slowly shrink in on himself. “I promise it’s okay to miss.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao looked up at Zixuan, the image of him blurring as his eyes welled. His voice was small, “But Guangshan-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter,” Zixuan shook his head. He doubted his father would say anything about them missing class for this. But he understood Guangyao’s concern. “I won’t let him say anything to you. Okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao nodded and stood up, wiping his eyes. He closed his textbook and stacked some of his things together. Zixuan was sure he wasn’t going to look at any of them in the next couple days as he put them into his bag but he let him pack everything anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My car is just outside, okay?” Zixuan moved to the door. “Do what you have to do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao nodded, turning away from him as the door closed. Zixuan knew he didn’t want him around right now. Because they didn’t cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan called Jin Ling while he waited in the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling sounded distracted but he answered regardless, “Yeah, what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan cut right to the chase. “Auntie Li Hua isn’t going to make the night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling paused. “Oh.” Zixuan was sure he was expecting this call at some point. Everyone knew she was going downhill a few weeks back. But it was still shocking nonetheless. “Well, shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m driving Guangyao to Lanling in a bit if you want to come with us.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Auntie Li Hua was quite outspoken about her disdain for how Guangshan turned out; it’s why she didn’t live in Carp Tower. She wasn’t so uptight compared to those in their family; she was a little crazy but when you actually sat down to talk to her… you couldn’t help but enjoy her presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao was particularly fond of their great aunt. She was always very kind to Guangyao, quietly spoiling him when she could. He was one of the few people in Carp Tower who spoke with her often, visiting her when he could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m at the store right now. You can leave now if you need to,” Jin Ling figured Guangyao wouldn’t want to wait around for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just left Huaisang’s. I have to pack some things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go with you guys then,” he replied. “I can meet you outside my dorm in half an hour.” Jin Ling didn’t want to drive by himself to Lanling late at night. He’d, surprisingly, rather go with his cousins. He was closer to Zixuan than he was even just a few months ago. A lot closer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Bye.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao opened the car door and slid in with a sigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to get some things, then Jin Ling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kay,” Guangyao leaned against the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a yanli check in</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao didn’t want to sit in the car alone. He was pretty sure he would cry again if he was and he didn’t want to do that right now. Not yet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He followed Zixuan quietly into his apartment for the first time. The apartment that he was originally invited to live in. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning looked up from where he was sitting at the table. “Hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Zixuan put his keys on the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao looked around the space curiously. It wasn’t really what he was expecting, though he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it’s because he didn’t know Wen Ning.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Guangyao,” Zixuan called for his attention.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Bathroom is down the hall. Last door on the right.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Oh right. He said he had to go to the bathroom. “Thanks.” He walked by Wen Ning quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning looked at Zixuan. “Leaving for the whole week?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>driving to lanling together</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The car was utterly silent. Jin Ling didn’t know what to make of the air in the car… it felt tense. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was completely expressionless. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His mind was racing though. He wasn’t sure what to be doing right now. But Guangyao seemed to like not having any music in the car at the moment, so maybe that was the right move. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan kept looking in the rearview mirror to see Jin Ling peeking at Guangyao curiously. He knew they had no relationship except the times Guangyao helped Jin Ling train his dog. He was probably trying to figure out what was going through his head right now. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling jumped at the sound of Zixuan’s phone ringing throughout the car. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pressed a button on his steering wheel to answer the call. “Hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Jin Han’s voice came through the speakers of the car. “My mom asked me to call you guys. Most everyone went back to Carp Tower since it’s late but you might want to stop by here first y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced at Guangyao. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the window. “Yeah, alright. Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a huaisang check in</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>call me</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan waited until it sounded like Guangyao was sleeping as well before he quietly plugged in his headphones and called Huaisang, careful to make sure his volume was still quite low. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I didn’t think you were actually going to call,” Huaisang replied. “Don’t bother texting,” Zixuan heard a door open. “I’m just going to go about my morning okay? Put your phone down. Zixuan I see you texting, stop. I know you can’t talk, that’s the point.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed and put the phone down, rolling onto his side. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome to ASMR-Huaisang,” Huaisang chuckled. “Not music, but not quiet.” Huaisang paused as the mic on the headphones moved against something. He heard Zixuan let out another sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang put the phone down on the bathroom counter and turned on the water to shower. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He took a longer shower than usual, humming to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t bother to blow-dry his hair or braid it. He left it as it was for the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He even made breakfast for his brother and himself. A full breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was probably the most productive morning he had in the longest time. It didn’t even matter that he hadn’t slept yet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue walked into the kitchen, confused. “You made breakfast?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he plated Mingjue’s food. “I made you lunch too. It’s in the fridge though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” He took the plate from Huaisang, “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue glanced down. He lowered his voice, “Oh, sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Huaisang looked over his shoulder. Mingjue motioned to the phone. “Oh. I think he’s sleeping, don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you hang up then?” Mingjue walked to the table with his plate and Huaisang’s. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I will,” Huaisang grabbed their drinks. “In a bit,” he followed. “Maybe before we go.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t get it,” Mingjue mumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He couldn’t sleep because it was too quiet,” Huaisang replied, sitting across from him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s… Not what I meant,” he gave him a pointed look. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Huaisang narrowed his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t get why Huaisang always went to such trouble when it came to Zixuan. Even before he realized he liked him… But especially now, and knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to ever really be with him…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t make sense to Mingjue. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t make sense to Huaisang either but that didn’t mean he was going to stop. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re friends,” Huaisang mumbled back. “It’s what friends do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t hear any of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was in and out of sleep for the couple of hours Huaisang was on the phone with him. He heard the shower. He heard pans being cleaned. He heard Huaisang humming. He heard Mingjue telling Huaisang to hurry up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Zixuan,” he heard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then it was quiet again. Too quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time he was too tired to care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>sucky week</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0092"><h2>92. Natural Order of Things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Unnoticed, Wangji walked up to Huaisang and Zixuan as they gathered their things after class. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah you can look at my response,” Huaisang said. “How long do you have to make it up?”</p><p> </p><p>“... Tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang raised an eyebrow, “Why are you just now asking then?”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan scratched the back of his head, “I… forgot about it?” He had been spending the last several days making up all of his missed work from being at Carp Tower for a week. He was able to do some of it while he was in Lanling, but whatever he wasn’t able to complete he slowly forgot about. </p><p> </p><p>Wangji cleared his throat. </p><p> </p><p>They turned in surprise. </p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” Huaisang replied, eyes just a bit wide. How long was he standing there?</p><p> </p><p>Wangji glanced at Zixuan standing behind Huaisang before looking back at him. “Can I ask you something?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” Huaisang said slowly. What could Lan Wangji possibly want to ask him? </p><p> </p><p>Wangji seemed really unsure of himself. “... About Wei… Wuxian?”</p><p> </p><p>Huaisang blinked. <em> Oh </em>. “Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan bit back a laugh, “Alright I’ll see you in class.” He walked by Wangji, “See you,” he added. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s up,” Huaisang looked up at the Lan with curiosity.</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> the natural order of things </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> jc is looking </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> secrets </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> if you’re reading this, congratulations, you are the fbi agent </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>“Alright good day,” Wuxian locked up the safe. “Thanks for coming by to help at the end, Jingyi.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am but a speck of dirt,” Zixuan muttered over his phone.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you even do,” Wuxian questioned. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan scoffed. “Can you just hurry up so I can drive you guys back?”</p><p> </p><p>“What hot date do you have,” Wuxian rolled his eyes. “Stop rushing me.”</p><p> </p><p>“My hot date is Wen Ning and noodles,” Zixuan replied dully.</p><p> </p><p>Jingyi was quiet, leaning against the door. Zixuan thought he looked <em> miserable </em>. And exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong with you,” Zixuan made a face. “You have <em> quite </em> the bitch face right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan tilted his head. He definitely wasn’t. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m just going to walk back,” Jingyi muttered, leaving Lotus Root before another word could be said. </p><p> </p><p>Zixuan watched him leave but it didn’t sit right with him… “Wuxian I’m outside,” he yelled for Wuxian to hear from the backroom. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay!”</p><p> </p><p>Zixuan followed Jingyi, jogging up behind him. He grabbed onto his wrist, “Hey-”</p><p> </p><p>“What,” Jingyi turned around. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>Jingyi clenched and unclenched his jaw. “Nothing, Zixuan. I’m just not in a rush to get back right now,” he pulled his hand away.</p><p> </p><p>“... Let’s go for a drive… ?”</p><p> </p><p>Jingyi was quiet.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go,” Zixuan nudged him towards the car. </p><p> </p><p>Wuxian called out as he locked the door to Lotus Root, “I call shotgun!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">huaisang and sizhui date night </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“All set?” </p><p> </p><p>Sizhui nodded at Huaisang. </p><p> </p><p>“Alright, let’s go,” he looped his arm through Sizhui’s. “Where do you want to go?”</p><p> </p><p>They turned onto the sidewalk and started walking towards the downtown area. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t think that far ahead,” Sizhui laughed. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s decide when we get there,” Huaisang hummed, letting go of Sizhui. “<em> Wait </em>, let’s get milkshakes!”</p><p> </p><p>“You know, I’ve been meaning to try their whole menu,” Sizhui started. “But I keep getting the same thing. Maybe I’ll-”</p><p> </p><p>A massive black car blaring music and driving toward them grabbed Huaisang’s attention. He glanced at the license plate as it passed by. </p><p>-</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan let Jingyi pick the music he wanted to listen to. “You pay for Spotify?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinked. “Yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jingyi nodded as he looked for an album. “I just struggle through the ads.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would have assumed that you just stole your music.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jingyi pursed his lips. “I will never verbally admit to doing such a thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smirked to himself. “Well if you don’t want the ads let me know. I’ll add you to my family plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With how many there are of you I would’ve assumed that it was already at max capacity,” Jingyi decided on a song. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Brave to assume I do anything with my relatives,” Zixuan laughed. “Jin Ling isn’t even on it. We only started talking because of our friends. I only pay for myself, Wen Ning, Huaisang, and Mianmian…” Zixuan paused and turned the song up. “Can you add this to my playlist?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan caught a glimpse of two people walking down the sidewalk by campus as he drove up the road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked back as he passed to see Sizhui and Huaisang; Huaisang watched the car pass by. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Add it to Huaisang’s too.”</span>
</p><p><span class="u"> zixuan and jin ling’s relationship cannot be described but his and jingyi’s can. jingyi is his adopted son. </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p><span class="u"> 4 is still 4 </span> </p><p> <br/> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0093"><h2>93. Zixun Slander Only Please Pt 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You’re not even remotely curious why he wanted out of Carp Tower,” Zixun questioned Guangyao, unknowingly two booths over from Wei Wuxian and Lan Jingyi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn’t intervene for the sake of knowing what exactly they were going to say about Zixuan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. Not particularly,” Guangyao lied. He already knew exactly why. It wasn’t any of Zixun’s business. “Doesn’t really matter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I overheard Auntie Fengling the other day. She thinks he’s hiding something. Or that he’s going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave</span>
  </em>
  <span> leave,” Zixun put his glass down. “Maybe he should.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao gave him a warning look, “Don’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-You’d like that I’m sure,” Zixun smirked. “I’ve noticed you stepping up more now that he’s gone-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-Zixun-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just saying,” he leaned back. “I’m sure Uncle has noticed that you take things more seriously than Zixuan. All he does is-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” Guangyao interrupted. “Zixuan has always done a lot for him. Even more so these days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably so he doesn’t lose his claim on clan leader,” Zixun scoffed. “I’m sure this new marriage with Nie Daiyu will explode in his face. She’ll probably call it off-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>telling yanli</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">it’s summarized in the main au but in short, wuxian waited until zixun to leave to confront guangyao and chewed him out for not defending zixuan to zixun (he did however defend yanli and wen qing)</span> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">mister </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">ears </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">WAIT COMPLETE THE MUTUAL in zixuan’s mentions </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was not particularly fond of seeing Zixun right now. Not after his conversation with Wuxian and Yanli. And why the fuck was he smirking at him like that? “Can I help you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling wrapped his hand around Fairy’s leash. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixun raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? What are you even doing back home?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I,” Zixuan blinked. “Sorry why aren’t you asking them,” he motioned to Jin Ling and Guangyao. They all came back for the weekend, why was </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> the only one being asked?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care about Meng Yao-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Guangyao grumbled, keeping his focus on the lunch he was making himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-Guangyao-” Zixuan and Jin Ling corrected him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-And this big baby missed his dog-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling frowned, “Hey!” He grabbed a couple dog treats and scoffed on his way out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I really need a reason,” Zixuan asked. “I have more of a reason to be at Carp Tower than you,” he pointed out. He meant that in more ways than one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixun was nothing special. In most circumstances, he would have to leave soon. And Zixuan was working on that…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What exactly have you done to uphold the Jin reputation? All you do is spend your days shit talking people and causing problems. I’m sure Uncle is quite disappointed,” Zixuan scoffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao’s eyes widened; he continued stirring, focusing on his food. It was better to pretend he didn’t hear anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Excuse</span>
  </em>
  <span> me? What have I ever done to you? I’d watch yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or what? He had nothing over Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you and I both know what you’ve been saying about me to other’s,” Zixuan replied. “Not to mention everything you’ve been saying about my friends? And </span>
  <em>
    <span>to</span>
  </em>
  <span> my friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixun glared at Guangyao’s back. He assumed Guangyao said something. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But of course he hadn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Things have a way of biting you in the ass when you talk shit in public,” Zixuan added. Zixun redirected his glare back to Zixuan. “If you didn’t want me to find out, you should really keep your mouth shut on things you know nothing about. But if you’d like to go ahead and say it to my face,” Zixuan motioned for him to continue. Silence. “I’m probably the last person you want to piss off.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixun glanced at Guangyao again-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m right here,” Zixuan stated. “If you’re looking for a snarky comeback, don’t bother.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There you are,” Guangshan walked into the kitchen. “I’ve been looking for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shifted his eyes to his father and smiled brightly, “Sorry Dad! I got to talking with Zixun and didn’t realize what time it was.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan took in his appearance. “Why are you dressed like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked down at his dark form fitting clothes. “Ah… I was working out,” he lied. He had been working at Granny Xiao’s all day.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you go change and we can meet,” Guangshan suggested. He glanced between Guangyao and Zixun. “I’ll be seeing you at dinner,” he looked back at Zixuan. “Ten minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir,” Zixuan confirmed. He watched his father leave the kitchen before looking back at Zixun. “See you at dinner.” He let his hair fall from the neat bun he had in place as he walked out. “See ya, Guangyao,” he called over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixun looked at Guangyao. Guangyao shrugged, “Wuxian heard you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You couldn’t let me know in advance?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You dug yourself that hole,” Gungyao pointed out. “Besides, what’s the point in warning you when Zixuan would never believe you over Wuxian in a million years?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had just finished putting his hair into place as he walked into his father’s study. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan cut straight to the chase, “How is it going with Nie Daiyu?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Zixuan lied. He had barely spoken to her since she came to Carp Tower. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Guangshan grinned. “Next time I hope the answer is ‘great’, but I get it.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Did he though?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m hoping we can be on the same page before dinner,”  Guangshan chuckled. “Flush out some details.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan nodded and took a seat across from Guangshan, “Okay. Sounds good.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So they talked and decided on something both of them were comfortable with. Something Zixuan could work with. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t ideal. But considering his options. He could deal with it.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0094"><h2>94. Gay Sleuths</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">zixuan isn’t doing a lot of fighting his dad anymore </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">gay sleuths </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well this was unexpected…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang dove into the bushes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian dropped heavily onto the ground beside him. He whispered loudly, “I am… So very confused.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang nudged him. “I’m pretty sure he saw us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see what he handed Guangshan,” Wuxian asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nudged him again as he peered around the bush; Wen Chao stalked past them from a distance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian parted the leaves and watched him. Wen Chao was definitely keeping an eye out for them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think Guangshan saw us too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really hope not,” Huaisang leaned back against the building. “I need him to like me,” he whispered in a panic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think this could qualify as the crime part of our agenda,” Wuxian kept his voice quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great, let’s go be gay,” Huaisang sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They looked at each other and at the same time jokingly asked, “Wanna make out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They scoffed and pushed each other in disgust. Huaisang chuckled at the thought of rolling around behind some bushes with Wuxian.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian continued his feigned disgust, “I’m taken, how </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare</span>
  </em>
  <span> you ask me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not,” Huaisang rolled his eyes. “Besides, I’ve far surpassed the need to ever kiss you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I take offense to that-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-What are you doing-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian and Huaisang yelled in surprise at Jiang Cheng standing over them; he yelled back. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Get down</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” they grabbed his robes and pulled him behind the bush.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang shushed him aggressively. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here,” Jiang Cheng asked again.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep your voice down, we’re hiding from Wen Chao,” Wuxian warned.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s gone,” Jiang Cheng pointed out. “I saw you guys running behind the bush. When I saw Wen Chao go by I thought you’d pop back out but you didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind your business, Jiang Cheng,” Wuxian narrowed his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shh</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng stopped him mid-shush. “He’s gone.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you even doing on campus right now,” Wuxian asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I had to return something to the library-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Wangji peeked over the bush.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang clutched his chest in surprise. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he breathed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-And I ran into Wangji,” Jiang Cheng added. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji looked at the three of them curiously. “Why are you all sitting behind the bush?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian laughed nervously, pushing himself to a stand, “Bush?” He looked down at the bush and patted it, “Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing? Ha ha-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We were hiding, Lan Zhan,” he deadpanned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“From?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Scary people,” he walked around the bush and started pulling Wangji away. “Huaisang and I were sleuthing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah. You were caught.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost! But, I’ll have you know, Huaisang is quite good at being sneaky.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pushed himself to a stand with a huff. “I hate boys,” he muttered to Jiang Cheng. “They’re so easily distracted.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Who am I supposed to be gay with now,” Huaisang motioned to Wuxian strolling off with Wangji with no hope of him returning.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can be gay with me,” Jiang Cheng replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me about your recent boys; you’re not still talking to that swimmer are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laughed humorlessly, “Absolutely not.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thick Thighs?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice enough, but no; that was ages ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I don’t know who you’re into these days,” Jiang Cheng replied. “What about that guy from Art &amp; Philosophy?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What guy?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng looked at him in surprise, “The kid who always asks how your weekend was? Always agrees with you. Asked you to get lunch once… He sits behind you? The pretty one? He gave you his number.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh!</span>
  </em>
  <span> He’s in the FPA department. He’s doing sound for the musical… What about him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... I’m pretty sure he’s into you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Is he?” Huaisang hadn’t noticed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng frowned. “... Huaisang are you serious?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I assumed you might’ve gone out a couple times and just didn’t tell us about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Huaisang said. “I’m just really not that interested in him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, okay. Well…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... What’s with you and Wuxian lately,” he rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>miss</span>
  </em>
  <span> you coming to ask me about boys,” Jiang Cheng said. “What happened to your process? Step one; assess the interest with me, step two; assess the guy with Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need me anymore,” Jiang Cheng nodded. “Noted,” he turned dramatically to walk in the opposite direction.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Huaisang laughed and pulled him back. “Relax. I just don’t have anything to assess. I said I was focusing on school and that’s what I’m doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You said that </span>
  <em>
    <span>last</span>
  </em>
  <span> year,” Jiang Cheng pointed out. “I simply do not believe you haven’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, would it make you feel better if I told you that there’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> guy?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng gasped excitedly. “Who? Is he in FPA? Is he an actor?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Yeah. He’s an actor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>boys who count</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wuxians got his notebook-</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>- his handy dandy notebook</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>pass</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>one clown talking to another clown</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>simmer</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>subtweeting</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>they all live on twt. same.</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>try again</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>huaisang, with a megaphone: zixuan wears glasses</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>tracking the levels of mad</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>competitive</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan forgot about one of Mingjue’s papers. He had been so wrapped up in Carp Tower shit, that it completely slipped his mind. He barely skimmed the readings, wrote something half-assed and ran to Jiang Cheng’s. He needed Jiang Cheng to just tell him if what he was saying actually had anything to do with the readings and then he’d fix it before submitting it that day. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He felt an overwhelming need to not fuck up in front of Mingjue. With anything. Because he knew Mingjue knew about him and Huaisang. And that alone was a massive ‘fuck up’. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey guys,” Zixuan muttered to Wangji and Wuxian when he rushed into the apartment. “Is Jiang Cheng in his room?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian didn’t bother looking over his shoulder, “Yeah,” he gasped when the idea hit him. He spun around, “Oh, wait! Are there any ghosties in Lanling?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan paused. “Ghosties,” he muttered to himself. “Uhm… No? Nothing that you would have access to.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Carp Tower?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You would think, but no, sorry,” Zixuan called over his shoulder as he burst into Jiang Cheng’s room, “Text Huaisang,” he poked his head back out. “There’s tons of places in Qinghe. He knows them all because he avoids them.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He can’t possibly avoid them all,” Wangji said quietly. “Can he?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t put it past him,” was the last thing he heard as he closed the door. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan started pulling his laptop out. “It’s fucking rough but I have no clue what the fuck I read.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng made grabby hands, “That’s fine. You know you could just hand it in a couple hours late and only lose a few points-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan sat at Jiang Cheng’s desk. “No, I’m not fucking risking it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey Zixuan,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Wuxian yelled from the other room.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled his eyes, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t read if you yell,” Jiang Cheng said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan walked back out. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How well does Huaisang actually know these places?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned against the doorframe. “He has a whole drive dedicated to research. Local lore, personal experiences, rumors, evidence,” he shrugged. “If you’re looking for it, he has it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do so much research on something you don’t like,” Wangji asked seriously. He didn’t get the point in it. Wuxian just said that Huaisang knew his shit, but that he was also scared of said shit. So why?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan replied, “He would rather know everything than know nothing. Not knowing scares him more.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Wangji nodded. “I can understand that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he have a ouija board I can borrow,” Wuxian asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji blinked in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened to yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Evil stepmother threw it out,” Wuxian scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I heard that,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jiang Cheng called from behind Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I never replaced it,” Wuxian continued casually.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Shame. It was a nice one,” Zixuan replied dully. He knew Wuxian was excited when he got it a few years back. “Huaisang doesn’t, but Wen Ning has one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh good, thanks,” Wuxian turned back to a disapproving Wangji.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>keep simmering</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>ghosties expert nie huaisang talks to his sensible friend lan wangji</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0095"><h2>95. Simmering</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wangxian detectives</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>not in jiggy’s mentions</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jingYEET mad</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p> <br/> <br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">nmj loves the h8rs </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> fighting over who’s f4s parents </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">coparenting is a secret gc </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">freshmen is a touchy subject rn for nhs </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">touchy subject </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">why are they like this </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">really. why are they like this. </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">for the record, zixuan forgot to block him after this </span>
</p><p> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0096"><h2>96. Half-Twins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Guanyao was able to catch Xichen alone in his office before he left campus. To say Xichen was shocked to see him was an understatement. Guangyao had made it a point to avoid Xichen as much as possible, scared of disappointing him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So much so, that he stopped participating in class discussions or reaching out about assignments. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So yeah, Guangyao walking in and closing the door behind him was a shock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Xichen opened his laptop again, “Wh-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not here for class,” Guangyao stopped him. “I just wanted to… Talk to you,” he sat across from Xichen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, sure. Is everything okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes but… I’m not sure you’ll think so?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why is that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guangshan, uhm.” … Why has he suddenly forgotten everything he was planning to say? “Guangshan wants me to get married…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like he’s decided for you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. He did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Qin Su.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, what do you need me to do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao sighed, “Nothing. I just wanted to let you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... You don’t want me to help you get out of this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened to never wanting to be forced into something like this,” Xichen asked seriously. “You always told me you felt bad for Zixuan and thought yourself as lucky-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> feel bad for Zixuan. Especially now,” Guangyao stopped him. “I feel really bad because he’s really fucking miserable. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Absurdly </span>
  </em>
  <span>miserable-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’re happy that </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> got dragged into it too?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not… happy,” Guangyao said slowly. “But I’m not miserable.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re not happy then why go along with it,” Xichen asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao could </span>
  <em>
    <span>hear</span>
  </em>
  <span> the disappointment creeping into his voice. “Even if I </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to get out of this, you and I both know I couldn’t. Even if you tried to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… I don’t understand… This was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing you said you wouldn’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Some things change, Xichen,” Guangyao sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... What did he say to you to change your mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Guangyao said honestly. “He mentioned it at dinner one night and that was it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you been avoiding me this entire time because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Xichen was silent for a moment. “You could have just told me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want you to be disappointed that I so easily let go of what </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted for what </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> expects from me. Again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Xichen looked down.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And I was worried about the timing of it. That you would think it had anything to do with his response to Huaisang’s post,” Guangyao said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Xichen bit the inside of his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“.... You think it does.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>welcome to the most brotherly interaction i think the half-twins have ever had</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>there should be a point system</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>i don’t need you, but you need me</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>status</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>subtle</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0097"><h2>97. h8rs & F4 Movie Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Movie night with the Freshmen Four was proving to be much more chaotic than when it was just the normal group. Frankly, it was a lot more enjoyable. Which was saying something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang and Sizhui danced like idiots while working on a mountain of cookies. Huaisang was getting clumsier and clumsier the longer they made cookies and the more he drank. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course Sizhui kept pushing water his way when he could though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit,” Huaisang stared down into the bowl before him and laughed. “I think that was too much sugar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” Sizhui turned away from the oven to peer at what Huaisang was working on. “Well,” they looked at each other. “I guess we have to make more cookies.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng sat together at the dining table sipping on their soda and talking business: who was going to stay the designated driver.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to win,” Wen Qing said with confidence. She was eye-level with the jenga piece. “I’m going to win, and I’m going to drink some wine, and you’re going to bitch in the corner,” she muttered under her breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Excuse me</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jiang Cheng started, “I am the jenga </span>
  <em>
    <span>champ</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your hands are nothing compared to these,” she held up her hands, a jenga piece between her fingers; he was unaware she had even pulled. “These hands were meant for medical purposes. They are steady and precise. Jenga has nothing on me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes, “You’re going down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian, Zizhen, Jingyi, and Wen Ning roared with laughter in the living room</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zizhen fell into Jingyi, unable to pull himself out of his fit of laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not what I meant</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian laughed with them, tears springing from his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathe</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wen Ning screamed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to </span>
  <em>
    <span>pee</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jingyi yelled, trying to roll Zizhen off of him but laughing too hard to muster any sort of strength to do so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli watched the boys rolling around, Wuxian fumbling over his words to explain himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zizhen wiped his eyes, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Whewwww, whew</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he tried to calm himself down before looking at Wen Ning and falling right back into another fit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling glanced up from where he was stirring, “Zizhen and Wuxian feel like a dangerous combo like this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As long as nothing breaks,” Zixuan drank from his cup, watching them closely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Yanli pointed to Zixuan, “Get to plating-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-</span>
  <em>
    <span>Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang yelled over his shoulder despite all of them being in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What,” Zixuan pushed himself off the island counter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>We need a bigger bowl-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it get louder than this,” Jin Ling asked Yanli.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli snorted, “Absolutely.” Admittedly, it was probably going to be louder than usual with the freshmen here now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling frowned and kept stirring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” he shrugged. “It’s just Zizhen and Jingyi… but multiplied.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Loud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Very</span>
  </em>
  <span> loud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked down into the current bowl Huaisang was using. He picked up the empty bag of sugar. “Did you dump four pounds of sugar into this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sizhui laughed and pulled out their recent batch of cookies. They were already 3 dozen in. He guessed that they could make twice that with all this sugar…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was mildly horrified.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t say ‘dump’,” Huaisang leaned back, bumping into Zixuan; Huaisang gripped his forearm to steady himself. “I would say ‘dropped’. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>dropped</span>
  </em>
  <span> four pounds of sugar into the bowl.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan snorted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sizhui glanced down at Zixuan’s hand as it brushed over Huaisang’s waist, working around the smaller man to look for more mixing bowls. “I don’t know that I have a big enough bowl.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sizhui looked up to see Yanli also watching the two of them maneuver around each other. She smiled softly at Sizhui and turned her attention back to the dishes before her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You should be more prepared for these things,” Huaisang joked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan scoffed, “Yeah, okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t accidentally dump four pounds of sugar into a bowl when you make cookies,” Sizhui asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dropped</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang corrected.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone watched Jingyi race by and down the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling piped up, “Once I dropped an entire thing of salt into soup.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sweetie, no,” Yanli frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan laughed, “I know for a fact that you’ve never had to make food a day in your life. There’s no way you could even make soup.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true! I tried!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tried,” Yanli repeated for emphasis.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang bit back a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan asked, “Yeah, when?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Last week,” Sizhui replied, “He burnt it too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli laughed despite herself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you burn </span>
  <em>
    <span>soup</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang asked. “Is that even possible?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sizhui laughed, “Oh… It’s possible.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would you tell him that,” Jin Ling asked, betrayed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli nonchalantly slid the bowl of mac and cheese away from Jin Ling. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“None of the boys can cook,” Sizhui pointed out. “They’re also very bad at just helping cook too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You poor thing,” Huaisang patted Sizhui’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>AHAHA</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” Jiang Cheng shot up from across the room as the jenga tower came tumbling down, grabbing the room’s attention. “Pour me a shot, Huaisang!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s best 2 out of 3,” Wen Qing reminded him. “We’re tied.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng’s face fell, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he sat back down with a huff. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang glanced through the bottles in front of him. He gasped and lifted one up, “Zixuan! Honey whiskey!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it taste like honey,” Sizhui asked innocently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang held the bottle to his chest, “You’re so cute Sizhui.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I want</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zizhen called to Huaisang. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Pour</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it,” Sizhui asked Zixuan while Huaisang poured a shot for Zizhen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>idiots on the tl</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The movie was finally reaching its end, long after the group had entirely lost their energy. Huaisang assumed it was because the freshmen were here; everyone had been near constant high energy before their collective sudden crash into exhaustion.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was nice that Zixuan and Wen Ning’s apartment was big enough to accommodate everyone spreading out comfortably. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning and Wuxian were lying on the floor haphazardly in front of the TV, using some of Wen Ning’s penguin plushies as pillows, wrapped up in fuzzy blankets. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning had passed out some time ago, but Wuxian was staring blankly at the TV with weary eyes. Every so often he would tear his eyes from the screen to text Wangji about the movie. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng was the opposite, scrolling on his phone, curled up in the armchair. He only glanced at the TV to make comments with Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was across the room, propped up against a giant penguin plushie that he also stole from Wen Ning’s room. Beside him slept Zixuan, face hidden under a blanket to block out the light from the TV. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing was also hiding her face from the light; Yanli going in and out of sleep depending on the volume of the scene. “How much is left,” she asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“About twenty minutes I think,” Jiang Cheng replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She mumbled, “This movie is so long… I’m going to take a nap,” she pulled the blanket up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang stood to go to the kitchen, “Everyone is napping,” he pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Been a hot minute since that happened,” Jiang Cheng replied. “Can you get me a cookie?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang walked back with a cookie for everyone who was awake. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian held the cookie to his mouth but didn’t immediately start eating it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this not normal,” Jin Ling asked, taking one for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not unusual,” Huaisang answered. “Just been a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning gets pretty cranky when he’s not home,” Jiang Cheng added. “But when we’re here he falls asleep pretty fast. We usually gauge our nights based off of how he is otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang handed a cookie to Sizhui as he sat back down. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang thought it was quite impressive the way the freshmen had all managed to fit themselves onto the couch, and look quite comfortable at that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sizhui and Jin Ling were the only two awake, and on opposite ends. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jingyi leaning against Sizhui, Zizhen lying between Jingyi’s legs, and Zizhen’s legs tangled up with Jin Ling’s. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang remembered his friends arguing the last time three of them tried to occupy the couch at once for a movie night. He hummed to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling watched Huaisang cautiously place a cup of water between himself and Zixuan. Huaisang looked up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling looked away quickly, accidentally making eye contact with Sizhui; he looked back to the TV with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang snorted. “You’re so awkward Jin Ling-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shut up</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sizhui bit back a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>surprise wangxian as a treat for reading flourish</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian looked up from his phone with a bright smile though it quickly disappeared; Jiang Cheng turned all the lights back on without warning while the credits rolled. “What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian rolled over. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jiang Cheng!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning groaned loudly and covered his face, “Turn them </span>
  <em>
    <span>off</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s shit all over the floor,” Jiang Cheng pointed out, “You will all trip and </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zizhen, with his eyes closed and a prominent pout, grumbled, “Why’d he say it like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jingyi snorted and patted Zizhen’s side until he started to sit up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing stood up and stretched, “... So what happened in the movie?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli laughed, completely hidden by the blanket. “I have no idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t say it was worth remembering,” Wuxian replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sizhui added, “I was awake the whole time and I can’t even tell you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang kept nudging Zixuan to get up despite his complaints. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Stand up,” Wen Qing ordered Jin Ling, “Pick up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling grumbled in protest but helped her and Jiang Cheng pick up the dishes from the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli shook Wen Ning’s leg. He stared blankly at the ceiling. “Go to bed,” she instructed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He mumbled tiredly, “I can’t move.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan eventually pushed himself up with a huff, “He’s not going to either,” he said to Yanli.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Drink,” Huaisang handed him a glass of water.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop making me drink honey whiskey,” he grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> shot,” Huaisang rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian looked at Wen Ning, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> drag you,” he warned.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing called from the sink, “He wants that.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She was in a rush to get home and sleep in her own bed before she had to get up for work.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang picked up the massive penguin he had been laying on. “Sizhui, can you help me bring all these back to Wen Ning’s room?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sizhui leaped up, “Sure can!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Within a couple minutes they were all able to organize the apartment enough so that it would not be an absolute disaster the next morning. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone dragged their feet, sleep still weighing them all down as they gathered their things.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go,” Jiang Cheng called to Wuxian who had only managed to drag Wen Ning a few feet. “Wen Qing wants to go; leave him. They’re already on their way down.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sizhui led Zizhen out by his hand and followed Jiang Cheng down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keys,” Jingyi held his hand out to Jin Ling. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye,” Zixuan called before he kicked Wen Ning’s foot. “You’re going to fuck up your back again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning groaned miserably and let Zixuan pull him onto his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jingyi looked at Wuxian and pointed over his shoulder, “What about-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian pushed him and Jin Ling out the door, “Bye losers!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>OURs</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0098"><h2>98. Film Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">main au check in- this part, except now u know who film boy is </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">they’ve been looking and now... </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">trying to understand </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">u know zixuan sat up so fast at the mention of weibang </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">receipts and pluralizing </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">anywayssss, can i come? </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">yes, jc did reach out to see what happened </span>
</p><p> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0099"><h2>99. Qinghe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan wanted to drive to Qinghe instead of taking the train which meant they had to leave quite early in the morning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The idea of not having his car for this made him feel stuck. And he didn’t like that. He wanted to be able to go where he wanted, if he wanted. If he wanted to find a reason to run, he wanted to be able to run. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He learned that from his father; never let anyone trap you. Always have a way out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though their reasons for wanting an escape were quite different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang slid into the passenger seat slowly, hugging a bottle of water to his chest. Zixuan raised an eyebrow. “Did you pull an allnighter?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Huaisang pulled his legs up to his chest and tilted the seat back just slightly. “I don’t want to get carsick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t. Go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the plan,” he rolled the window down. They hadn’t even gone anywhere yet but the thought of sitting in the car for so long already made him feel nauseous. “Play your music,” he grumbled, eyes closed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned the volume up as he pulled away from the curb. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had slept for most of the way, waking up only twice. Once to put on his headphones and the second to tell Zixuan to pull over.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He groaned and walked away from the vehicle while letting his hair loose. “You’re fine, you’re fine,” he muttered to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan got out to stretch his legs and grabbed Huaisang’s water that he left behind. “Are you going to be sick,” Zixuan asked cautiously, keeping his distance. He wasn’t sure if Huaisang would successfully talk himself out of being carsick, but he didn’t want to get too close in case he couldn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Huaisang said after a few moments. He thought he was fine. He usually asked to get out when it was too late and had no time to let himself settle.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He combed out his hair with his fingers, “But I need a minute before you keep driving,” he said honestly. If they kept driving too soon, that would spell doom. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And around Zixuan, throwing up was an irreversible disaster.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Take however long you need,” Zixuan sat down on a bench. He would rather be late than force Huaisang back into the car before he was ready to. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang started braiding. He wanted to keep his hair neat for when he got to Qinghe. He was not willing to let his family see him as a mess despite their familiarity with his car sickness on long trips.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan watched him cautiously.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang apologized quietly and took the water from Zixuan for a quick drink. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t mind the break from driving. He didn’t often stop on long trips. Not for more than a couple minutes. It was nice. To sit in the sun for once. To listen to the cars in the distance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang walked around aimlessly for a while until his headache was tolerable, and his stomach had settled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He took his time back to the car. He knew that Zixuan had a time that he needed to be there, but part of him wanted them to be late.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Part of him wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> return home. He didn’t want Zixuan and Daiyu to spend time together. Because Daiyu was great. And Zixuan was sure to fall for her once he got to properly know her. He knew that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed and ran his fingers through Zixuan’s hair, “... What are you thinking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Huaisang repeated.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hummed and shifted on his feet behind Zixuan. “I suppose that is nice,” he took Zixuan’s accessories out of his hair and set them off to the side. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang redid Zixuan’s usual braid slowly. “That you should wear Nie braids.” He realized the weight of that only after he had said it. “You just look pretty.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... With them…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So do you,” he closed his eyes as Huaisang played with his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They fell into a comfortable silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tried to figure how he was supposed to end things with Zixuan. But still manage to stay friends. Or rather, end things and find a way to try and be friends again.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They couldn’t keep this up. That’s all Huaisang knew. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We should get going or you’ll miss your lunch,” Huaisang said instead as he finished placing the accessories back in Zixuan’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t reply. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Don’t fall asleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not,” he mumbled as Huaisang made sure there wasn’t a hair out of place. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You definitely are,” he nudged his back, “Stand up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>nhs wants his license but</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>first time they’re all living in the same place but it won’t be for long :((</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>bro</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>get zixuan out of there</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>he doesn’t want to talk about it</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>panic</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>their texts to</span>
  </span>
  <span> him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan spent his entire day trying to trick himself into liking Nie Daiyu. At least enough to be okay with this. She was lovely enough. And he was familiar enough that getting to know her more wasn’t horrible. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But… It felt dull. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was grateful when he finally got to leave her side for the remainder of the night. He was fucking exhausted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was on his way to his guest room after saying goodnight to her when he saw the bonfire still going strong off in the distance. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure that anyone was left but he didn’t mind if he was alone. He really wasn’t sure how much longer he could pretend.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sat up in his seat when he heard someone approaching. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well… Zixuan didn’t mind this either. He didn’t have to pretend around him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hey,” Huaisang sat back again. “Everyone else literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> left.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” Zixuan sat beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang watched the fire. “They love you by the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do they?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They wouldn’t stop talking about you after dinner,” Huaisang confirmed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yikes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang chuckled. “I’m sure Guangshan will be happy to know that my uncle is excited about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn,” Zixuan pursed his lips. He didn’t really care about what anyone but Huaisang thought about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe he won’t feel like he needs to rush anything if he knew that Uncle is quite happy about how things played out?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Zixuan stared at the fire. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How was your night with Daiyu?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why is he doing this?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zixuan shifted uncomfortably. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but feel that this marriage somehow going to mess everything up. Screwing around aside, he was most nervous about their friendship changing negatively. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wrapped his arms around his knees. “Did you kiss her?” He didn’t really want to know. He didn’t want to talk about Daiyu. But he also needed to get used to the idea. He had to get comfortable with it. Sooner rather than later.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan closed his eyes. Maybe when he opened them he would be in his apartment. Maybe Huaisang would be laughing in the kitchen with Wen Ning. Maybe he wasn’t in Qinghe. Maybe he wasn’t getting married. Maybe he didn’t feel this way. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he was just some guy.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Huaisang bit his lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence drowned out the crackling fire before them. It utterly engulfed them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s chest felt tight. “I didn’t.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Daiyu had leaned in to give him a kiss goodnight, but just as her lips brushed against his he had leaned back. It didn’t feel right. He didn’t want to kiss her. He didn’t want to kiss anyone. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She had waved it off with a smile and kissed his cheek instead. She thought Zixuan was quite shy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan doesn’t know if he’s okay leaving</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan locked his phone and pushed himself back to his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t look at him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>If this wasn’t happening right now he’d lean down. He’d lift Huaisang’s chin. He’d kiss him goodnight. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>If this wasn’t happening he’d kiss Huaisang, as softly and gently as he could. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’d kiss his forehead. He’d smile at him. He’d tell him goodnight. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Just like he did the other night when he drove Huaisang home.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He’d brushed Huaisang’s hair back. Like he had wanted when they stopped on their way to Qinghe. When they weren’t quite in Qinghe yet. When it would’ve been okay to kiss him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But they were in Qinghe, and this was happening. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Night, Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang replied dully, “Night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>nhs asking wn instead</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>you are not that person</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had been on his phone for quite a while. It wasn’t until he let go of it and squeezed his eyes shut that Zixuan was concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need me to pull over?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang leaned his head against the headrest and nodded. He was definitely going to puke. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was quick to jump out of the car the moment it stopped. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He inhaled sharply, a bit panicked, and pulled his hair away from his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was going to be sick. Between the car and Zixuan…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was his own fault. He knew this was going to happen. He knew a year ago that Zixuan was going to unintentionally hurt him. And he let it happen anyways. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” Zixuan reached out for him. “Come on,” he said calmly, taking both of his hands. “You’re okay,” he walked backwards to the open trunk. “Sit down.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He gave Huaisang water, he put his hair up for him, he even fanned him until Huaisang eventually opened his eyes again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn.” He had broken out in a cold sweat earlier trying to keep the contents of his stomach down.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan lifted Huaisang’s chin and turned his face towards him. He looked miserable. “Do you need to take a walk for a few minutes?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang shook his head. “I wanna go home,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re about twenty minutes outside GCR,” Zixuan informed him. “Why don’t you lay down in the back?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded with a pout. The nausea didn’t leave him, but it wasn’t as bad. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to go to bed. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0100"><h2>100. A Specific Who</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t understand how you can know if you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>in </span>
  </em>
  <span>love,” Zixuan stressed. “Like I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>you guys. So what’s the difference? You just decide who you want to spend more of your time with?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean,” Wuxian looked at Wen Qing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Wen Qing leaned forward, “One more time-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan tried to follow along with everything Wuxian and Wen Qing said to him but… Really he couldn’t stop picturing how he felt about Huaisang with everything they offered. And that was a problem. Because it went farther back than he anticipated it to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it shouldn’t have.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shouldn’t have been thinking about Huaisang when they were talking about this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wished he didn’t understand what they were saying. He liked it better when he didn’t know anything. He hoped that this conversation would confuse him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I pretty much can’t know, until I know,” he asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Wuxian sighed heavily. “What do you picture when you think of being in love?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pushed the brief image in the back of his mind. “Nothing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who do you picture,” Wen Qing asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stared at her for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t meant it in a way to ask </span>
  <em>
    <span>who</span>
  </em>
  <span> he pictured himself with. She wanted him to think of an example. A kind of person he hoped to be with. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The look he gave her though told her everything she needed to know about why they were even having this conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He pictured himself with someone.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian looked between the two of them curiously. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked back to Wuxian, “What do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>picture?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He let Wuxian ramble, and gush, and spill all his hopes of what he’d find in another person and the kind of life they would live. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It sounded nice. But it also upset him to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it,” he stopped him with an eye roll.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing looked at Zixuan curiously after Wuxian had eventually left to pick up Jiang Cheng. “You’re upset.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A bit,” he let out a humorless chuckle. “It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Talk to me about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed. “I don’t want to get married unless I feel that way about a person,” he motioned to where Wuxian had been sitting earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing frowned. She spoke quietly, “Can I ask about the guy you mentioned? In your text? Do you feel that way about him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked down at his hands. “I shouldn’t have said anything about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Wen Qing asked. Zixuan didn’t reply. She hummed in thought. “You don’t have to talk about it. If you do, it can be between the two of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was nothing to talk about, “I just can’t like him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay to like boys,” Wen Qing stressed quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” she frowned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I,” he let out a sigh. “I know it’s okay. But it’s not okay for </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. A-and I didn’t. Well I didn’t think I did. So everything was fine! But now it’s not; I can’t have </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I can’t do anything about </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>be</span>
  </em>
  <span> this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he know about how you’re feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning knows,” he paused, “To some extent.” Wen Qing blinked in surprise. “Wait, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’s not Wen Ning.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She thought if anything it might’ve been Huaisang but… Wen Ning also made sense. A lot of sense actually… “It’s okay if it is,” she said slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not,” he assured her. “He’s just known about it for the last year.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Year?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost two…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shrugged, “It doesn’t matter anymore. I have to get married… It’s not worth it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to tell him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan replied immediately. “Because there’s no point. It’s been too long. It took me too long to realize </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>of this. It’s too late.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you think he deserves to know?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Huaisang deserved to know. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If</span>
  </em>
  <span> he didn’t think it would hurt him. Why would Zixuan ever want to hurt him more? “There’s no point in saying anything when it’ll probably only hurt him when I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> hurting,” she pointed out. “Don’t you think you deserve to be able to voice your feelings?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I was going to say something I should have said it before. But I didn’t know what any of it meant then,” Zixuan answered. “It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>different </span>
  </em>
  <span>before. I didn’t have to face anything before. But the </span>
  <em>
    <span>second</span>
  </em>
  <span> I found out I had to marry his fucking cousin, </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> changed before I could even process it. Everything just got worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing put her cup down, “Huaisang,” she confirmed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan clenched and unclenched his jaw. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Wen Qing looked at him sadly. “Please tell him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span> talk to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t reply. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Huaisang,” Wen Qing added. “You can talk to him about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing to talk about,” Zixuan said quietly, absentmindedly picking at the pillow in his lap. “It’s just physical.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing’s heart broke, “Clearly it’s not, Zixuan. Don’t trick yourself into thinking that.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0101"><h2>101. Campus Protest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/>
 <br/>
 <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">zixuan is working overtime </span>
</p><p> <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0102"><h2>102. Unfair</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">zixuan knows he needs to tell huaisang </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">to be completely clear— yes, this is the first text zixuan has sent to coparenting since qinghe </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">something </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anime Night without Wen Ning is a first,” Huaisang laughed, grabbing a drink from the refrigerator. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be here,” Zixuan pointed out. He decided at the last second to go to Wen Qing’s for the night. He was sure they planned that so he was alone with Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to watch this one again with him,” Huaisang dropped down on the couch beside Zixuan again. “It’s so fucked up. He’ll love it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An obnoxiously loud dragging sound from the apartment above them continued. Huaisang paused the show again. “I guess she’s not done moving furniture?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan moved Huaisang’s legs from his lap and pushed himself up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Upstairs to talk to her,” he shuffled into some slippers and opened the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not going to tell her to be quiet are you,” Huaisang sat up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No? I’ll be right back,” he called as he closed the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>nhs texts wn</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan walked back in some time later with a huff, “Okay sorry. You can start it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What were you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan dropped down onto the couch, “Helped move a couple things. Do you know she has a cat?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I… Do, actually,” Huaisang laughed, tucking his feet under Zixuan’s thigh. “Why is she renovating so late?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Her sisters are coming over in a couple days I guess,” he shrugged. “Don’t really know.” Zixuan rested his feet on the coffee table and crossed his ankles. “Play, play, play.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>nmj texts nhs </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to sleep in there,” Zixuan replied from his doorway. “I-if you don’t want to?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang kept his hand on Wen Ning’s door handle. “Well… What do you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shrugged despite himself. “I don’t mind if you sleep in here. You.. usually do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I... do, yeah,” Huaisang’s hand slipped from the handle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan added quietly, “Can you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had no idea what he was doing. He had been replaying his conversation with Wen Qing on an endless loop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He needed to talk to Huaisang. He needed to tell him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But they weren’t talking tonight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was his fault. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because he kissed Huaisang… Again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He kissed him the way he should have kissed him ‘goodnight’ back in Qinghe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way he should have </span>
  <em>
    <span>been </span>
  </em>
  <span>kissing him ‘goodnight’. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t know what to do with himself for once. The way Zixuan cupped his face was so incredibly tender. His kisses even more so. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It took his breath away. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And it broke his heart. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They couldn’t do this in the future. So what if this was it?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pulled away to press his lips to Huaisang’s forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What if this was it? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang kept his eyes closed even after Zixuan pulled away, hoping to pause. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What if this was it?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned down once more, their lips just barely brushed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What if this was it?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang held onto Zixuan’s waist, “Zixuan…” He needed to talk to him because...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What if this was it</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    <span class="u">ahem</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan couldn’t sleep. His mind was racing. He couldn’t process anything clearly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what to do. He felt so incredibly stuck. He wasn’t even sure if what he was feeling was real. He wasn’t sure if it was all in his head or not. He wasn’t sure if it was a “phase” like his mom always called these things. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure what this was.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he knew he couldn’t have it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shouldn’t have even had a taste of it. Because it was going to eat at him for, what he imagined, a long time. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Things could’ve been so different. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But this is where he was.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He could imagine his parents' disappointment if they knew about Huaisang. The way they’d react. They could never know. They couldn’t know how he felt. They couldn’t know about this.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Things he deemed ridiculous sometimes and blamed endlessly for his quiet need to be touched… But they weren’t ridiculous. And he didn’t want just anyone touching him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was uncomfortable to finally confront. But he had to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He kept letting himself indulge in the things he knew he couldn’t have in his life. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But… Why couldn’t he have them? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Why couldn’t he have these things?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Other people got to have them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> indulge. In </span>
  <em>
    <span>Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And that changed everything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It changed everything, even if they wanted to pretend that it didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was undeniable. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Because at the end of the day, when Zixuan had to walk away from this “fun”, it was going to change their friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He might not be able to find comfort in the same old, same old. He might not find relief in moments like this. Moments of stubbornness and bickering for the sake of bickering. Moments of sharing laughter in the dark. Moments of singing and yelling along to each other’s favorite songs. Moments of comfortable normalcy. Moments of quiet openness. Moments of listening and understanding. Moments of tipsy touching. Moments of messy kissing. Moments he only wanted to share with Huaisang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked down as an arm slipped between his elbow and his waist. The smaller body pressing closer towards him in his sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was never awake for this. He only ever woke up the next morning to being held. It only happened at his apartment. Huaisang didn’t have a pillow to hold onto through the night; he always gravitated towards Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t have this? He couldn’t fall asleep beside Huaisang? He couldn’t wake up like this anymore? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t be with Huaisang like this? Ever?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s chest tightened. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He could have this. He could have this, right? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It must be mutual… Right? It had to be. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan cautiously placed his hand over the smaller, softer hand, entwining their fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, already feeling himself break down… He was being too optimistic.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He closed the gap between them, the arm around his waist instinctively tightened. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” he whispered. “Are you awake?” He waited. A little louder, “Huaisang?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang inhaled slowly. “Hm…?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang…” Zixuan hesitated. The darkness of the room only darkened as reality came crashing down over him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t have this. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Who was he kidding?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter if he wanted it. His father made it quite clear that what he wanted didn’t matter. It’s not how it was. It wasn’t realistic for him. Real or not. He couldn’t have it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t have Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He felt numb.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shouldn’t have woken Huaisang up. He couldn’t say anything to make this situation okay. He couldn’t change it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was stuck.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was fucking stupid to think he had a choice in the matter.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sensed Zixuan’s discomfort and tiredly propped himself up on his elbow. “Zixuan?” He peered down, pulling Zixuan’s hair back. “Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wasn’t sure if he was hearing things properly. He swore he just heard Zixuan sniffle.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Huaisang leaned forward, running his fingers through Zixuan’s hair. “Are… Are you crying?” He turned Zixuan’s face towards him, the tears falling against his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was actually… crying? But he didn’t cry... </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong? Why are you crying? What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang pulled back slightly, concerned. “Do you want to talk?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled onto his back so he could look up at Huaisang. His voice shook, “I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wiped Zixuan’s tears. He cupped his cheek. Zixuan leaned into his hand, unable to hold back the sharp inhale as his tears flowed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to be Jin Zixuan. He just wanted to be some guy. Then this was okay. He could lay here, with Huaisang. And it was okay. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Huaisang frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to do,” he choked out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t know what was wrong. “Baby…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He let out a small whimper, “I’m sorry…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Huaisang replied immediately, “It’s okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan completely rolled over so he could wrap his arms around Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was caught off guard but let the bigger man hold onto him. He wrapped his arms around him, running his fingers through Zixuan’s hair to try and calm him. “You’re okay, baby. It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span> He didn’t know what exactly caused this but he didn’t want Zixuan crying. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure there was a worse way to wake up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had woken up to Zixuan whispering and just </span>
  <em>
    <span>assumed </span>
  </em>
  <span>Zixuan was going to ask him to leave. He assumed he’d be asked to leave, just like all the other times. The times he woke up after a night of kissing, or helping each other get off.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But this wasn’t one of those nights. It hadn’t been like that in a long time.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had stopped leaving.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t wait for awkwardness to set in anymore. He didn’t have to get kicked out, or see himself out the next morning. Zixuan didn’t wake up and remind him he still had to go home anymore or vice versa. It had turned more into a joke. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They had grown comfortable in their secrets with each other.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Leaving in the middle of the night or early morning at the beginning was all to save themselves from the awkwardness of it all. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But the only awkwardness now came from knowing it had to stop. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So being woken up by Zixuan? At 5am? It didn’t make sense. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And Zixuan crying? That made less sense.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jins don’t cry. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Something must’ve happened in the few hours Huaisang had been asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tried to imagine what it might have been while he ran his fingers down Zixuan’s back. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s breathing slowly regulated again the longer Huaisang held him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to sleep, Zixuan,” Huaisang whispered. “It’s okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan woke up to this text</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan woke up alone. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He immediately wanted to cry again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced at the time.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>8:47am. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And a text from his brother. A text he really wished he hadn’t seen.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang must’ve left after he fell asleep. Maybe for the best after he saw that text. He was likely going to cry again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was too tired to notice that Huaisang’s phone was still on the bed as he went to the bathroom. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He looked about as awful as he felt; he avoided looking in the mirror while he brushed his teeth.. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang took the tea he made back to Zixuan’s room while he was out. He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself to talk to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t end up falling back asleep; he was thinking about what could have made Zixuan cry. And he had a good idea…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was it. He was sure of it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So he tried to prepare himself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he wasn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t prepared to see Zixuan walk back in, nothing but defeat draping over his entire body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stopped mid-step when he saw Huaisang sitting in the middle of the bed. He folded his legs and sat before him. Huaisang handed the cup of tea over to Zixuan silently. “Thank you,” he was barely audible. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded but said nothing else. Zixuan stared down into the cup. It took Huaisang gently guiding the cup up for Zixuan to finally take a sip. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They sat there in silence until Zixuan finally looked up at Huaisang, his eyes already watering. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang took the cup and placed it off to the side. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I should have said something to you sooner,” he said quietly. “I should have said </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“About what,” Huaisang frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That this means something to me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he motioned to the space between them, “means something. I-I didn’t realize to what extent until everything changed… And Huaisang, </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> changed.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Oh god… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but it does…” He wiped his already wet cheek with his sleeve, “I realized that when I found out my dad changed his plans for me… And I didn’t say anything to you because I didn’t want to admit it was happening. Because with Yanli, I could have figured something out for us. But I can’t with this… I ran to you after I found out, and I didn’t say anything,” he inhaled sharply, starting to feel like he was losing composure. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t have any words yet. His mind was simultaneously blank and spiraling. He knew that Zixuan had kept the information from him. He’s already processed that. He already felt anger towards the entire arrangement. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But this </span>
  <em>
    <span>meant</span>
  </em>
  <span> something to Zixuan? How was he supposed to take that? How was he supposed to feel knowing by the end this conversation, whatever they had would also be over?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have waited,” Zixuan continued, angry with himself. “I should have </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> you when I finally admitted to myself how I felt.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hadn’t had any time to process this. To process how they felt, knowing how the other felt. They didn’t have the time to </span>
  <em>
    <span>be</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything and it was ending.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang couldn’t help his own eyes watering… This wasn’t fair. For either of them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t Zixuan’s fault. And it was important that he knew that. That he shouldn’t have had to force himself to figure things out faster. That he shouldn’t feel guilty about a situation he had no control over.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang wiped his own eyes before making Zixuan look at him. “I could have said something sooner too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what’s happening,” he cried quietly. He didn’t want to be too loud. Being loud made it real. Undeniably real. From what he felt, to what he wanted. “This wasn’t supposed to mean anything…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>All Huaisang had wanted was for Zixuan to feel the same way he did. But… It would have been better if he didn’t. It would’ve been easier. It would have been easier because it would have been one sided. It would have been easier to move on from. “I should have stopped this before it went too far,” Huaisang admitted. “I should have stopped when I realized how </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> felt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shook his head, “It wouldn’t have done anything.” Zixuan would have eventually realized how he felt about Huaisang either way. His conversation with Wen Qing was proof enough that this went back farther than he realized. It had been building slowly for years without having any realization of it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang felt sick to his stomach. “This isn’t fair,” he whispered, looking down at his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair. They could’ve had something. They could’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>been </span>
  </em>
  <span>something. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They could’ve.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>If he wasn’t Nie Huaisang. And if he wasn’t Jin Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But… In a way, Huaisang supposed that in their moments together, they weren’t. Because if they were, they wouldn’t have been there at all. When they were together, any time they were together, for as far back as he could remember, they dropped the act. They let down their walls. They never pretended around each other. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe… Well maybe it was possible? That they could keep that? It could be a secret. Maybe they could trick Wen Ning that it was over. They could keep this between themselves. Right?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, wait, wait,” Huaisang straightened his posture. He wasn’t ready to let go of this. He needed to know that they actually considered the possibility.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang, please-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Just,” Huaisang grabbed his hand to stop him. “Can’t we just not tell anyone? Right? We can do that? A-and then nothing changes? No one has to know-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was almost positive he wasn’t going to stop crying at this rate. Everything just kept getting worse and worse.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He let Huaisang ramble about all the possibilities that neither of them were comfortable taking. Huaisang held onto Zixuan as if he would disappear if he wasn’t touching him. Holding his hands. His hand on the back of his neck. Cupping his tear-soaked face. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He knew everything he said wasn’t going to happen, but he searched Zixuan’s face desperately for any sign that maybe they could grasp onto something. That they could just be some guys. That they didn’t have to be Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them could grasp onto any of it. Not realistically. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang cried into Zixuan’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Everything was different. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They couldn’t fall back on Yanli. It wasn’t fair to ask her and Wen Qing to do that for them, just for the four of them to have to pretend and hide behind each other. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They couldn’t sneak around behind Daiyu’s back. Neither of them were okay doing that. To her, or anyone else. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They would have to see each other more often than either of them wanted to under the circumstances. They would have to see each other and not touch each other, not kiss each other; the way they were before would have to stop. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter if they were “friends”. It would just make things feel more difficult for them. They knew that. For their own sanity it would have to stop. And they didn’t know for how long.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They had just a little over a year. They needed this to end </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> if they wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> hope of trying to be just friends again. They both needed time to figure out how to move on from this, from knowing they didn’t get a chance. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It had to end now if they wanted to figure it out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang knew what Zixuan was going to say before he brokenheartedly finally said it out loud. “We can’t do this anymore,” he muttered into Huaisang’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter that Huaisang saw the reason behind it. It didn’t even matter that Huaisang agreed that it was the only thing they could do. It didn’t matter, because Huaisang was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> ready to let go of this. To let go of Zixuan. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sat back, “Zixuan please,” he shook his head. “You’re not engaged yet. Please. We don’t have to do this yet.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan let out a quiet cry. Did it matter? Stopping now and stopping in a month wasn’t going to make anything less painful. For all he knew, his father would have successfully convinced Daiyu to move forward with the engagement announcement sooner than she wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was no point in dragging this part out. It would hurt him, and it would hurt Huaisang. They had a far better shot with more time to try and learn to be friends again when they actually could interact with each other.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Zixuan moved back to Carp Tower, they would rarely ever see each other outside of a business setting. That spelt doom for their friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This? This at least gave them a </span>
  <em>
    <span>chance</span>
  </em>
  <span> to not ruin everything.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me talk to Daiyu,” Huaisang tried. “Please? We can talk to her. It’s okay. Please?” Zixuan wiped Huaisang’s tears. He leaned into Zixuan’s hand. “Please...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not fair to you…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair to either of them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang knew it wasn’t her fault but he started to feel resentment towards his cousin for this. This didn’t need to happen yet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know how to go back from this. He didn’t know how he was supposed to see Zixuan nearly every day and not hurt from this.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>How was he supposed to pretend that he wasn’t feeling physical pain from this? That his chest didn’t hurt? That it didn’t feel like his airway was closing? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>How was he supposed to pretend that he didn’t think about Zixuan? That Zixuan didn’t so naturally cross his mind throughout the day?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When could he get through that and start trying to be friends again? How long would that take? Could they even figure it out before they both left GCR? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They fell into silence. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them bothered to dry their wet cheeks anymore. What was the point? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang played with Zixuan’s fingers while mentally pulling himself together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>... He wouldn’t be able to do this. “I don’t know how to be different around you,” he said quietly. They would have to figure something out. He just didn’t know what the fuck that could look like right now.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They sat that way for a while. Trying to figure out what they should do next.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was beating himself up. He knew this was coming after Qinghe. He wasted time with Zixuan by avoiding him. If he hadn’t done this maybe this conversation wouldn’t have happened like this. Maybe Zixuan wouldn’t have felt so utterly overwhelmed by reality that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>cried</span>
  </em>
  <span> before he could even tell Huaisang.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan watched Huaisang tracing the lines in his hands, running his fingertips over the length of Zixuan’s fingers. He felt too defeated to react to anything anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If… We’re ending this now,” </span>
  <em>
    <span>before it even starts</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Huaisang added to himself. “Maybe we shouldn’t uhm…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Do this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No more sleepovers?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…” Huaisang sniffled. A tear landed in Zixuan’s palm; he wiped his face quickly. “Or studying… It’s… A lot of </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, otherwise,” he looked up. He already had to see him every day in class. He couldn’t have more than that.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan felt like shit. This was his fault. This was entirely his fault. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang could see how hurt Zixuan was. All he wanted to do was lay with him, wrap his arms around Zixuan. But he couldn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we uhm… Can we talk about this some other time; figure things out later?… Will you be okay if I leave?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No. “Will you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang bit his lip in an attempt to choke back a sob. He shook his head, letting Zixuan wrap his arms around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn’t stay like that for long. Huaisang really needed to leave. He couldn’t sit here anymore. He pulled back as he wiped his face for the last time. “I really should go; I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked into Zixuan’s shining eyes, the tear streaks visible on his puffy cheeks. “Can… Can you kiss me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just a kiss…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just a kiss,” Huaisang repeated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And this time that’s all it was. There was no falling into bed together. There were no roaming hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was nothing more than just a kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>you’re allowed to feel like this</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate this,” Wen Ning muttered to himself in the silence of the car. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“This is so unfair to the both of them,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you just saw them when no one else was around… They’re so stupidly in love it’s frustrating,” Wen Ning replied. “I have never wanted two people together more than I’ve wanted them to be together. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> together…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think Zixuan can get out of it,” Wen Qing admitted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not unless he left his family, which I don’t think he’s willing to do,” Wen Ning said. “Which… Is valid.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Too bad he can’t stage some sort of coup,” Wen Qing muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning was silent.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... No-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well who says he can’t,” Wen Ning asked seriously. “He has rapport with the people in Lanling. He’s always gone out instead of his dad. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he’s always helped Guangshan with practically everything, gone to meetings for and </span>
  <em>
    <span>with</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. People trust Zixuan more than Guangshan, especially since he’s so often managed to negotiate on their behalf. Guangshan has always listened to Zixuan </span>
  <em>
    <span>because</span>
  </em>
  <span> of his relationship with everyone else. The only thing he won’t hear a word about, is his schooling and this fucking marriage.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing hummed. “He is a people person when he needs to be…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He could absolutely make the case that Guangshan isn’t capable of handling things on his own anymore. Not when Zixuan and Guangyao do most of it for him. Almost completely without him… Zixuan even helps him with shit at UCR.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But who would even be able to actually help him take the position from Guangshan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Plenty of people. He’s friends with </span>
  <em>
    <span>hiers</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Nearly all of our friends have some sort of status. He’s close enough to Mingjue, and I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> Mingjue would help. Xichen is a strong possibility. Zizhen and his siblings, and knowing how Zizhen is, he could probably get his own dad on board. Obviously Huaisang would. Yanli, Jiang Cheng, and Wuxian for sure. Wangji most likely. If they need Jins to support it too, Guangyao might. If he plays his cards right, Madam Jin. Jin Han probably would without a thought. Jin Ling to make up numbers. Peiyu probably…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing pulled into the parking lot, “And those are just the people who Guangshan would consider important…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... I can’t tell if I’ve lost my mind or if it actually sounds plausible but we aren’t talking to him  about that right now,” Wen Qing warned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>:(</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked small with his head in his hands. He looked up to see the siblings walking into his room with sad expressions.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He let Wen Qing pull him into her arms. “I know, love,” she rubbed his back. “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> like this. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Their friends always joked about getting Zixuan to cry but after this? He decided it was something he never wanted to see again. Joke or not.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He never wanted to see Zixuan so broken as he sobbed into Wen Qing’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He could only assume Huaisang was just as bad. And it was bad, because when Zixuan was normally upset he didn’t want to be around people. And Huaisang typically did. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was bad.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of Zixuan’s cries…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning’s heart broke for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wen ning and yanli touch base</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wen ning plotting</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0103"><h2>103. Damage Control</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW// implied past abuse briefly mentioned, homophobia, aggression, violence</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning thought Zixuan looked quite tired. He was surprised he even came in today after how horribly silent and awkward it was between him and Huaisang in class yesterday.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure,” he had asked him when they were getting coffee in the campus center.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but what am I supposed to do?” Zixuan sighed. “We have three classes together.” Huaisang had been right. They shouldn’t talk outside of class right now. Because class alone was going to be a lot. “It’s my fault anyways,” he mumbled as he walked off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-” Wen Ning sighed and followed him. “Y’know maybe this won’t be forever?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the goal,” Zixuan replied. “I just don’t know when he’ll want to be friends again. Or if-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s… Not what I mean,” Wen Ning replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What else would you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... I’m just saying that maybe it’s possible that you don’t have to get married.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I want to talk about that right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning frowned. “Okay. Maybe-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought y’all were skipping,” Wuxian said when they walked into the classroom just a minute or two before class started. “I was not ready to forgive you if you left me alone with-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay everyone,” Lan Qiren came in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sat beside Huaisang; they glanced at each other as an acknowledgment but neither of them said anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re not going to be using our books today-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>no, no it’s not good</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian urged. “Please explain to me. I am dying to know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian’s friends had given up trying to get him to quiet down now that he and Lan Qiren were full on arguing.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wei Wuxian,” someone in class finally hissed a warning. Huaisang thinks it might have been Guangyao but he wasn’t sure.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he said. “I am dying to know how you can be so wildly against the people you </span>
  <em>
    <span>claim</span>
  </em>
  <span> to care about,” Wuxian snapped. “What the hell was the purpose of mentioning the protest in class as some </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘real world’</span>
  </em>
  <span> example if you can’t even listen to </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> people supported it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Huaisang breathed out. This was going to get out of hand incredibly fast. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lan Qiren was pissed. “The protest-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-was in</span>
  <em>
    <span> our</span>
  </em>
  <span> rights as students to voice our opinions on keeping something that is both a resource and safe place for people, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> keep an academic offering that-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-That is enough!” Lan Qiren yelled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it is,” Wuxian challenged, “because you don’t seem to get that people are </span>
  <em>
    <span>complex</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They are not one way or another. We don’t all identify the same way; you cannot </span>
  <em>
    <span>force</span>
  </em>
  <span> anyone to follow a specific image and lifestyle. You especially cannot even try to do that to anyone outside of your clan. I do not abide by your restrictions, and as an </span>
  <em>
    <span>open</span>
  </em>
  <span> campus, which </span>
  <em>
    <span>this is</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you cannot make me, or anyone in this room.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Several people had stood the closer Wuxian got to Lan Qiren. Whether it was to stop him or to get out of the way in case something went flying, it wasn’t clear.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was one of those people, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wei Wuxian</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian didn’t tear his eyes from Lan Qiren. He was not going to allow Lan Qiren any room to respond. “I’d like to talk about your morals as a </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘real world’</span>
  </em>
  <span> example. Or how about instead of asking what was wrong with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>protest</span>
  </em>
  <span>, why don’t we ask what’s wrong with the way this school secludes its LGBT students and just tried to </span>
  <em>
    <span>silence</span>
  </em>
  <span> what tiny voice they have here?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang knew enough about Lan Qiren from vague warnings from his brother. He knew about his temper. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It took him only a split second to see what was going to happen. “He’s going to hit him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’sgoingtohithim</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” he shoved Zixuan forward.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan threw his arm in front of Lan Qiren as he stepped forward. Several students shouted throughout the room at them to stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan planted himself between them and pushed Lan Qiren back a couple steps.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lan Qiren had fire in his eyes. He shifted his glare from Zixuan back to Wuxian. “Get out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian didn’t move.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lan Qiren reached out and threw open the classroom door, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Get... out!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, whatever,” Wuxian scoffed and grabbed his stuff. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he spat on his way out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced around between his friends and his brother in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning didn’t even wait for Lan Qiren’s next word, he grabbed his books and raced after Wuxian. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Class is over, get out,” Lan Qiren said to the students who looked around at each other with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang didn’t move while everyone left in an awkward hurried silence. Guangyao turned back to his desk and grabbed his bag. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan wasn’t going to go anywhere. He needed to do some serious damage control for Wuxian. At the very least, he needed to buy some time.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao closed Huaisang’s notebook for him, “Come on, Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang glanced at Zixuan, “But-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” Guangyao stopped him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang gathered his things into his arms and walked out with Guangyao. The door shut loudly behind them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stopped abruptly. He didn’t care if he wasn’t talking to Zixuan right now. He wasn’t comfortable leaving Zixuan alone.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao looked at Huaisang in confusion. “... I’ll stay,” he announced. “Go talk to Wuxian.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> <br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pushed Huaisang to the back of his mind. He didn’t have time to be upset. He had to focus on Wuxian.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was supposed to have a working lunch with his father anyways. He tried not to immediately jump into it. His father was more likely to brush it off if he did. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t hard to weave the incident into their conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was, coincidentally, reviewing paperwork from Lan Qiren. “Y’know, Dad, I really think he’s lost it a bit,” Zixuan motioned to the paper with a frown. Guangshan looked up from his laptop. His brow furrowed when he saw the name. “Kinda sad. You should’ve seen what happened in class today,” Zixuan scoffed, fixing his eyes back on the report. “What a mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan closed his laptop. A good sign that Zixuan had his undivided attention now. “What happened in class?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean,” Zixuan put the papers down. “It’s not unusual, the way he singles people out so harshly in class. Though it’s incredibly disruptive. And today,” Zixuan leaned back like he was stunned. “I mean… The screaming match,” he shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Screaming?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He was so quick to anger. I’d have to double check but I’m pretty sure he broke some Lan rules. And he nearly hit a student. He would have if a bunch of us hadn’t stood up and yelled at him to stop,” Zixuan explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me,” Guangshan stopped him. “He was going to hit a student?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He dropped his act, “Dad, the way he acted today really was not okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you stay for a while? I want to talk about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>guangyao reaches out</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>xichen steps in</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Xichen sighed heavily and put his phone down, “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright. Sorry you have to deal with him later.” Guangyao bit the inside of his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Xichen sighed. “Wangji is staying with Sizhui tonight. If I need to I can stay at Mingjue’s, but it’ll be fine, he won’t know I did Wuxian’s paperwork,” he rubbed his wrist while he thought. “Can you do me a favor though?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you file an anonymous complaint about the class? As an Ethics professor, he really should not be telling anyone what he believes is definitively wrong and immoral. I’ve seen the curriculum for the course and it really seems he’s fallen off track. He’s not teaching.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The conversation that led to the argument highlights that. I can report him for that at the same time,” Guangyao nodded. “I can see if Zixuan can too, so there’s more than one.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Xichen nodded, “That would be better… Thanks for letting me know about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I figured, at the very least, you needed a heads up before you got home tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>same wen qing</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/>
 <br/>
</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>not enough people</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>ruin his career and his life!</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan knew Wuxian had a meeting with the Dean again that morning but he hadn’t heard anything from him, so he assumed he was okay. He had been worried this past week about whether or not they would open his file and see that he wasn’t actually supposed to be at UCR.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He reminded himself to check in and make sure he wasn’t in handcuffs after he spoke to Qin Su with Guangyao. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, Guangyao actually really was worried about Qin Su, and more to his surprise, Qin Su seemed to really like Guangyao. When Guangshan had finally come to realize that Qin Su was one of the people who had helped organize the protest against the administration, he was stunned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan handled it for her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was going to find Qin Su when he ran into Guangyao in the campus center. He filled Guangyao in on his conversation and how Guangshan was planning to talk to Guangyao later that night himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangyao caught sight of Wangji from the corner of his eye as they walked up to the dance studio, “Hello Hanguang-Jun.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” he dipped his head, “Excuse me,” he slipped by them and into the room. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan peaked in and saw Wuxian excitedly wave to Wangji. He sighed with relief. Good. Not only was he not arrested, but he seemed in good spirits. Probably better now that Wangji walked in.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The two brothers followed Wangji but kept their distance; Qin Su jumped up from where she was sitting with Wuxian and rushed over to them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How mad was he?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Disappointed but not angry,” Zixuan replied. “I wouldn’t worry about it. He said something about hoping you make better, more informed decisions in the future but,” he shrugged. “In my opinion, that’s exactly what you did.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck this school, am I right,” Qin Su tried; Zixuan offered her a small smile. “But I’m fine? He’s not going to talk to me about it is he?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, the school was most concerned with the Lans at the protest. He doesn’t want attention on his own family there so he’s going to ignore it so you can fly under the radar. He has more important things to deal with right now,” Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And my dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not going to bother saying anything from what I got from our conversation last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Qin Su hugged Zixuan. “My dad would have killed me if I pissed Guangshan off.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to worry about anything,” Zixuan said. “I just wanted to let you know about it. I need to get to Carp Tower though, so,” he motioned towards the door.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks again,” Qin Su repeated. “Really.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan gave her and his brother a small nod and turned to leave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, see you in class, Wuxian,” Qin Su called. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you guys friends,” Guangyao muttered quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian waved bye to Qin Su and slowed his pace on the way out for Zixuan to join his side. “Hey you!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian walked out into the hall, “I haven’t seen you around lately, everything okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced at Wangji who waited off to the side for Wuxian. “I see you every day in class,” Zixuan reminded him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I mean,” Wuxian lowered his voice. He subtly motioned to Wangji to hold on a second and grabbed Zixuan’s hand when he tried to walk around him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan and Huaisang still weren’t talking, and it was painfully obvious to Wuxian that they were fighting. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He looked downright exhausted. It was probably the saddest he had ever seen Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is everything okay, Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was quiet for a moment. He tried not to make a habit out of lying to his friends, considering how much of it he’s done in the last couple years concerning Huaisang alone. “Everything is fine. Just a lot on my mind between my dad and… everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian nodded, “I’m sure. I’m sorry that I got added onto that plate. Thank you again for speaking to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure how helpful it was-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Incredibly,” Wuxian stopped him quickly. “It was incredibly helpful. Between you and Xichen alone, it was really helpful. It’s not quite over but, it’s a lot better than it would’ve been otherwise. I already thanked Xichen, and Guangyao, but I need to thank you specifically again. You didn’t need to get involved at all. Not like you did.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t going to let you get kicked out,” Zixuan replied. He lowered his voice, “They open that file, Wuxian, and you’re screwed. I couldn’t help you out of that one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Wuxian sighed. “I’m sorry. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome. But don’t worry about it adding anything more to my plate.” Zixuan looked down at Wuxian, still holding his hand. “... You’re not letting go…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian pressed his lips together. He wasn’t going to.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed, “I’m okay, Wuxian.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled his eyes, “Do you need a hug or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian didn’t. But Zixuan definitely did. Wuxian knew that. “Probably.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ask Wangji-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian punched his shoulder, “Shut-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ah</span>
  </em>
  <span>, fuck,” Zixuan grabbed his shoulder, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fine;</span>
  </em>
  <span> fuck-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian chuckled and pulled Zixuan into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji watched the two of them closely. He had no idea what was going on but he took notice of the way Zixuan huffed like he thought the hug was ridiculous. But the way he held onto Wuxian and the way he squeezed his eyes shut was not missed on him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian cautiously rubbed Zixuan’s back, sure that something else was deeply bothering him outside the stress of Wuxian’s mess, and the usual business with his father.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian was </span>
  <em>
    <span>positive </span>
  </em>
  <span>it had to do with Huaisang, but he really didn’t have solidified proof of what the fight could have been about.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything will work out in the end,” Wuxian said quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was actually about to cry. He knew the comment was directed towards him but he wasn’t going to leave it there.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He stepped back and turned the focus of the comment back to Wuxian. “It will. If you need me to do anything else just ask.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was deflecting, but Wuxian wasn’t going to leave it there either. “Mn,” he nodded. “Sure… And if you ever need to vent about whatever is on your mind-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Zixuan gave Wuxian a weak smile and walked backwards in the direction he had initially been heading, “See you in class.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Wuxian watched him hastily leave.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan could feel the pressure behind his eyes and the tightness in his chest got worse with every step it took to get back to his car.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He managed to blink back the tears enough until he closed his car door behind him. But of course, luck was not on his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked down at his phone only to see his dad calling him. He groaned in frustration and wiped his wet face before answering. “Hey Dad,” he pressed his lips tightly together.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We are hosting dinner tonight, or did you forget-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan closed his eyes and dropped his back back against the headrest, “No, Dad, I did not forget. I was just about to leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to pick a few things up before you come home,” Guangshan added. “You still have my card, so just use that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” Zixuan wiped his nose and started his car. “Just text me what you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t getting sick are you,” Guangshan asked at the sound of what he assumed, correctly, was a sniffle. “I can’t have you sick at a dinner-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not,” Zixuan replied before processing. If he lied he would have gotten out of having to entertain more people. “Well, I-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Get here soon. You cannot be late for this. I’ll send you the list,” he hung up without another word.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, whatever,” Zixuan tossed his phone off to the side.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0104"><h2>104. Wangxian Breather</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">go in there </span>
</p><p> <br/><br/></p><p> <br/><br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">HANDS</span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">kiss </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0105"><h2>105. Something Was Wrong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">jc thinks he can fix things anyways </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">but they might not go </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">silence </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">trying </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">what the people want </span>
</p><p> <br/>  <br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">fine </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue knew something was wrong. It was impossible to not figure it out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I mean, for starters, Huaisang came home crying Sunday afternoon. From a rideshare. He wasn’t dropped off by Zixuan or Wen Ning. And he lied about it. He insisted he was overwhelmed with his courses even when Mingjue pressed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was his first sign that something happened, likely with Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second sign was when he saw Huaisang’s wallpaper which had been rotating pictures of his friends for </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span>, to a picture taken in Qinghe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The third sign was when they watched Les Mis and Huaisang didn’t react to anything. He didn’t tear up even once. Mingjue wasn’t even sure he was paying attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fourth sign was Huaisang going for a run with Mingjue </span>
  <em>
    <span>every</span>
  </em>
  <span> morning for the past week. Without being asked, without complaint. He just wanted to run… Huaisang </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to run…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fifth sign was Huaisang dully asking Mingjue if he could show him how to parallel park sometime. Twice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the sixth?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue happened to see the Venmo payments over the course of a few days; Huaisang kept forgetting his phone on the counter, or in Mingjue’s car throughout the week. He watched the money come with notes reminding him to eat from Zixuan. Only two. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was clear Zixuan was concerned about Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was enough for Mingjue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Mingjue called in the quad when he spotted him off in the distance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned around, his face immediately paled. He stayed in place as the larger man approached him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit, shit, shit, shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Zixuan breathed out calmly as Mingjue neared. Before anything could be said he had to ask, “Is he okay? Is he eating?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Mingjue considered Zixuan for a moment. He scraped everything he was going to say. “... Are </span><em><span>you </span></em><span>okay? Are you</span> <span>eating?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why did Mingjue care?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take that as a ‘no’,” Mingjue concluded. “Are you headed home?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Yes?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mon,” he nudged Zixuan, “Let’s talk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang walked out of the library with Sizhui; he watched his brother walk off with Zixuan to the upper quad. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0106"><h2>106. Monday Movie Night ft. f4 & Hanguang-Jun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Monday Movie Night started about as early as last time with the expectation that Wangji would not be staying past midnight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan almost wanted to leave early for once. He was trying to pretend that nothing was wrong despite being </span>
  <em>
    <span>overly</span>
  </em>
  <span> aware of the distance between him and Huaisang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was on the opposite side of the room, curled up with Sizhui, talking about who knows what. He seemed… Okay. But quiet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does Zixuan </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> pick the music,” Jin Ling asked in annoyance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You shut your mouth,” Wen Ning replied; he picked the music. “This is a good one!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mom</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli turned away from Wangji to answer him, “We have a massive playlist that we shuffle.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is wrong with this song,” Wuxian questioned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling leaned across the counter, “Y’know-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan blasted the music full volume over him as he and Wuxian yelled out the lyrics.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling rolled his eyes. “Why did I sign up for this again,” he grumbled and dropped his cheek into his palm. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jingyi pursed his lips, “Who decides what gets added to the list?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No one,” Wen Qing shrugged. Over time they all just added different songs that they liked from their own personal playlists. “Why, do you want to play something?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanna see the list.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng passed him his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji was curious too; he looked over Jingyi’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Pick something,” Yanli walked up to them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a lot to pick from,” Wangji answered politely. He hummed before eventually settling on a song.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli laughed, “You’ll want to turn that up-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked up as Wen Ning, Wen Qing, and Zixuan sang out loudly together. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What is happening,” Jin Ling leaned back towards Zizhen.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jingyi turned to Wangji, “I think you just flipped some sort of ‘on’ switch.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sizhui admitted, “I don’t know this song.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked down into his cup, “Don’t let Zixuan hear you say that. It’s his favorite song.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded, “One of them. From high school.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pointed a spatula at Wuxian, “Put those down.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian held the pans, “You can’t be serious!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You always mess up,” Jiang Cheng pointed out. “He’s had enough of your shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just let me try,” Wuxian whined.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Try what,” Jingyi asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli smiled at the scene of Zixuan and Wuxian bickering like things were normal, “Do you know the ‘crash’ line?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jingyi shook his head, “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Wangji said. Putting two and two together, he didn’t hesitate.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t ruin it,” Wuxian yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji took the pans from Wuxian’s hands, his expression blank.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone froze.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was fixing her face in a compact. There was a terrible crash! There was a terrible…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji smashed the pans together perfectly, and calmly handed them back to a stunned Wuxian.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pointed to Wangji, “I love you. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>you, please always come to movie night. Oh my god; you’re in charge of the pans from now on. Wuxian go home-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I live here!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is the pans a normal thing,” Jin Ling asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Yanli laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It was loud,” Jin Ling grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The pans are my job,” Wuxian said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Now they are my job,” Wangji replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“This betrayal-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>declaration of love</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>flirting on main</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was watching the freshmen four. Zizhen and Jingyi were spying on Jin Ling and Sizhui, though he couldn’t figure out why. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And then Sizhui took Jin Ling’s hand and dragged him over to where Wen Qing was picking a movie. Zizhen shook Jingyi with excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hummed and leaned against the counter. “That’s weird,” he motioned to Sizhui and Jin Ling, “Right?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked up from the dishes. “Hm,” he looked over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sizhui hadn’t let go of Jin Ling’s hand. He wouldn’t say his cousin looked uncomfortable, but he did look lost. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess, yeah,” Zixuan turned back to keep scrubbing. He needed to busy himself now that he wasn’t singing and cooking with his friends. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m still believing, I’m still believing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That I’ll wake up beside you one day</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang glanced up at Zixuan. They hadn’t spoken to each other in person since Huaisang left his apartment last week. He wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>try</span>
  </em>
  <span> to figure out how to be friends again. While he could.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He just wasn’t sure how. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang took the towel off Zixuan’s shoulder and picked up a wet cup, “I hate this song.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, I really want you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I really want you too</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No you don’t,” Zixuan replied quietly. “You love this song.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah… He did. But his favorite time to blast it was going down the highway in Lanling. Specifically in the middle of summer. When the windows were down. In the morning when the sun was bright but not too hot…</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I really wanna stay the night, night, night with you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We picked,” Wen Qing yelled. “Let’s go,” she turned the volume up on the TV.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng turned off the music while Wuxian made sure there was an ample supply of pillows and blankets around the room for all the bodies.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli looked over her shoulder and saw Zixuan and Huaisang doing the dishes in silence. “Are you almost done with the dishes,” she called. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They called back dully, “Yup.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang chewed on his lip nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to ask Zixuan about seeing him with Mingjue on Friday.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was it Friday when he saw them in the quad? He was losing track of his days. He didn’t even realize it was Monday until Sizhui messaged him early that morning about movie night. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan noticed that Huaisang had stopped mid-dry. He took the dish towel from him cautiously. “I got this. Go watch the movie.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang placed the half dried pan down, “Mn,” he nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stopped him quietly, “Wait… Here,” he held out a bowl of popcorn that was forgotten in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>do u not see</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wangji was settling down on the couch as Huaisang slipped into Jiang Cheng’s room. They were the only two who were sleeping over. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wangji is sleeping over,” Huaisang whispered in shock to Jiang Cheng. “Oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He hadn’t fully closed the door.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Jiang Cheng stood near the crack in the door to see if he could hear anything</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are they saying anything good,” Huaisang asked quietly, kicking his legs under the blankets.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng listened closely. Nothing of significance. Just how Wangji was surprised by the group. A good surprise. That Zixuan and Wen Ning were different than how he usually saw. That Huaisang was pretty quiet tonight.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hummed and pushed himself up, “No,” he lied and crawled in beside Huaisang. “We need to invite him to movie nights going forward though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree. He seemed to have fun. I think. He’s quiet,” Huaisang settled down. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang, can I ask you something? Or are you going to get mad?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... I promise nothing?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What exactly are you and Zixuan fighting about?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... We’re not fighting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng snorted. “Yeah, okay. Fine. Then what </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> you fighting about?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, mind your business,” Huaisang rolled over. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0107"><h2>107. Spicing It Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <a href="https://t.co/bFRjz0IFei?amp=1">
    <span class="u">Wen Qing's playlist</span>
  </a>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked at Yanli cautiously. “Are you going to lecture me on something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That depends,” she pulled up a chair beside him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lotus Root was empty, and the doors were locked for the night. The two of them were the only one’s left and Yanli felt this was her chance to get Zixuan to talk; if he decided he wanted to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want to tell me what’s going on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would have assumed a little birdie filled you in,” Zixuan mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my gosh, she is a little birdie,” Yanli smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli waved her hand. “The little birdie hasn’t told me anything that I didn’t already know,” she continued. “All she did was confirm that it was about that text you sent us from Qinghe when I asked.” And it was true. Yanli had figured something was going on between Zixuan and Huaisang quite some time ago. It wasn’t hard for her to piece together why Zixuan would </span>
  <em>
    <span>cry</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed heavily, “Then I think you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli shrugged, “Doesn’t matter. Just because I think it, doesn’t make it true. I’ll only believe what you tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed. He didn’t want so many people knowing about this. But, if someone was going to know it might as well be his closest friends… Right? He could trust them… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan scratched his ear before launching into an explanation. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli listened without making comments or asking questions. She just let Zixuan talk. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And boy did he talk.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> know how to unpack that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing about this is fair.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have asked for him to kiss me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> be friends after this?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do friends hold hands? I don’t know. I think so. But it would be different if we did, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s cute and it’s not fair.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think there’s something wrong with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He should hate me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan groaned in frustration and confusion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feel better,” Yanli asked. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli didn’t expect him to actually feel better after unloading everything. She didn’t expect anything except that Zixuan had a lot to say. And he did. He was frustrated with himself and lost.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan waved his hand, “Yeah, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay if you don’t,” she said. “You’re allowed to feel exactly how you feel right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed. “...You look like you want to say something.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Only if you want me to.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead.” He always valued her opinion on anything and everything. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to know what her thoughts were on this, even if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to unpack your sexuality in one sitting,” Yanli started. “It might take a while. And you might think you understand yourself, and suddenly, years down the road, you may need to revisit something you suddenly remembered. Something you hadn’t considered, or processed, because at the time, you didn’t realize you had to.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan bit the inside of his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And it’s okay to change how you define your sexual identity the more you learn about yourself. Maybe now you might feel comfortable saying you’re gay. Maybe demisexual,” she offered. “But maybe next year you feel that you’re not. Maybe you’re just comfortable saying you’re queer. You don’t have to know now. And that’s okay. You’re figuring it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed in acknowledgement. He saw the logic. He understood what she was saying, and he agreed. But it was weird… Having it said to him. He never thought they were words he had to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“To add: </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing </span>
  </em>
  <span>is wrong with you. It’s okay that you’re only just now ‘unpacking’ this. It’s never too late. And nothing is wrong with you for feeling like this about Huaisang. That’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... I’m very uncomfortable,” he finally said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli smiled, “That’s okay too. I can stop-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... I just think that, despite how awful this feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>right now</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I don’t think you should ever regret kissing him. And, from the way you’re talking, I don’t think you do. I think you’re trying to convince yourself that you do…” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>No response. He was. He was trying to talk himself into regretting it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do that, Zixuan. I can’t say what will happen, or even </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything will happen. I can’t say how everything is going to impact your friendship. I can’t say if you’ll be able to hold his hand without it meaning something. I can’t say you’ll be able to kiss him again. And that’s upsetting, but don’t wish nothing ever happened,” she frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s unfair,” he muttered. He wasn’t sure he could come out on top with this one.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Completely</span>
  </em>
  <span> unfair,” Yanli agreed as she grabbed Zixuan’s hands. “But Huaisang doesn’t hate you for this. You didn’t see how he looked at you Monday night. You haven’t seen how he’s looked at you for… Quite a long time. Or how he talks about you. He hates the circumstances if anything, but not you.” Yanli hesitated. “Why don’t you talk to him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“About what,” Zixuan questioned. “We already went through this. Why do it again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You both have had time to process things with some more clarity,” Yanli offered. “Get his thoughts on everything. Allow some time to share your thoughts. No more beating around the bush. No more uncertainty. Just… Lay it all out. Both of you. See where you stand on how to move on from here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That’s how Zixuan found himself walking up to Huaisang’s front door. He needed to do it before he talked himself out of it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Because he was definitely going to talk himself out of it if he didn’t do it that day. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened before he reached it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue stared at him. “I-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Huaisang home?” Mingjue glanced over his shoulder before looking back at Zixuan. “If he’s okay with it, I’d like to talk to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue opened the door wider and stepped outside. “I have to go,” Mingjue gave him a warning look, not to scare him or intimidate him, but to warn him that Huaisang was not in a good mood (obviously). He didn’t bother saying anything more.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was leaning against the island counter biting into some chocolate. He walked by Zixuan and into the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang must’ve been ready to call it an early night considering he was not only in his pajamas but his hair was down. Completely down. No hair pieces. Nothing tying his hair back. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Just some waves from being braided all the time. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You look like shit,” Huaisang said, folding his leg under him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So do you,” Zixuan mirrored him on the other side of the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn,” Huaisang pulled his other leg onto the couch. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want us to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“About what,” Huaisang chewed his bottom lip anxiously. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to say ‘everything’, because that felt wildly overwhelming. There was a lot. “Things,” he tried instead. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan opened his mouth but quickly closed it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What was he going to say to him again?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to start,” Huaisang pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m trying,” Zixuan countered. He took a deep breath before continuing. In short, he had no idea what he was supposed to do next when it came to their friendship. “I don’t know what’s on your mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was quick to respond, “I don’t know what’s on yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to know?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t want to keep things from Huaisang anymore. He wanted them to just lay it all out, as Yanli suggested. Both of them sat with their thoughts for too long. It didn’t matter how uncomfortable this conversation would get. They were far too familiar with each other, too close, too understanding to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to get everything out in the open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why were you fine getting married to Yanli but when you found out about Daiyu you weren’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t fine with getting married to Yanli,” Zixuan started. “But I was prepared to. It was a certainty and I was familiar with it. We both had known about it for so long and it was something I could work with. Something the both of us could work with if we needed to. Because I was okay with her having someone else. And she was okay with me having someone else. Except that there wasn’t going to be someone else for me…” He paused. “When that was trashed, and I found out about Daiyu, it… It felt like everything exploded. Because I realized… There was: you. And without Yanli, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> aren’t an option. With Daiyu… It’s-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-Not even a consideration,” Huaisang nodded. “I get it. It’s uncomfortable,” Huaisang admitted quietly. “Especially since she’s my cousin.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hesitated, “I… I can call it off,” he said slowly. “If you want me to, tell me. And I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what he was supposed to say to that. Obviously he wanted him to. But it wouldn’t be that easy though. If it was, he already would have… Well, Huaisang hoped anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But Huaisang also knew what Wen Ning had told him about Guangshan’s back up plan… He wanted to hear it from Zixuan himself. “What happens if you do though?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad picks someone else. And I’ll have to get married immediately.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It can’t keep switching. It looks bad to some people, like something is wrong,” he explained. “Even though my dad hasn’t said anything, people are already talking about how Yanli and I aren’t getting married. If it keeps changing, and rapidly, even if </span>
  <em>
    <span>we’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> quiet about it, it will still get out. He doesn’t want that. As is, he doesn’t want me waiting so long with Daiyu.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll call it off if you want me to,” Zixuan repeated. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t answer that,” Huaisang said. “Because I want you to. But I don’t want the second option either. I mean,” he sighed. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>want you marrying Daiyu. I want you to call it off. If you could just… Be a clan leader. If this stays a secret, fine. But if you’re married... I don’t want to be that person. And I don’t want you to be like your dad- no offense.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely none taken.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But there’s also no reason to call it off,” Huaisang added sadly. “You could walk away from everything and it could be for absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. For all we know, even if we </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> have a chance... This could end. I don’t know if that would be miserably, or on good terms, but it could end. It’s not worth it to call everything off for a potential nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not nothing though,” Zixuan stopped him. “Even if… </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> did end, it wouldn’t be for nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed in frustration, pulling his leg out from under him, “I just-” he groaned. “Zixuan, there’s too many ‘what ifs’, too many unknowns.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so let’s talk about them,” Zixuan urged. “I’m already uncomfortable as all hell, let’s just talk about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if we can’t even make this work?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, but I’d like to think we made the most of it, and we would end on good terms. I’ve known you my </span>
  <em>
    <span>entire</span>
  </em>
  <span> life, I would hate to lose you completely... And I feel like I already am.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean… Could we even be friends if we </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> try to make this work? Can we be friends if we do try and call it off? Or is it just… over?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to believe they could remain friends, but the timing of all of this was less than spectacular and he was starting to second guess himself. He wasn’t sure if they could return to some sort of normal if they couldn’t fix this right here, right now.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how to be just friends with you right now,” Huaisang said honestly. “I don’t know what’s okay, and what’s not. I don’t know what ‘before’ means now. I don’t know what was said or done because I liked you, and what was said or done because we were just friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan tried to think of something.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know where that overlap happened anymore,” Huaisang added. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be friends again, I just don’t know how.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan suggested, “Can we take it as it comes? Like you tell me when something isn’t okay? And I tell you? We can talk about it? Figure it out together?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that’ll bite me in the ass,” Huaisang muttered to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re definitely going to tell me I can’t call you ‘daddy’ as a joke anymore,” he paused. “Which, you can </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>say. That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, obviously… Oh my god, don’t listen to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan chuckled, “I will never say this </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>again, but yes you can still call me ‘daddy’ as a joke.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang gasped, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Daddy-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>As a joke!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang kicked his feet in excitement. He pushed his hair back and sat forward, “Wait, call me ‘baby’-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I never did that before, </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> would I do that now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Spice it up!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t we trying to spice it down?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Spice it down</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang laughed. “Okay, okay, fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What else?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The exchange felt normal… A good sign to the both of them. Maybe they could just take it as it came and figure out what felt like ‘friends’.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hummed. He was aware that everything from before wasn’t going to make anything easier for them. It might make it even harder, because everything from before was so devastatingly innocent at the time… </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>So, he figured, might as well start with the obvious,  “No coming-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan choked, “Yes, obviously; </span>
  <em>
    <span>god </span>
  </em>
  <span>Huaisang-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just saying! No kissing. Nothing sexual. Should we keep the 11pm rule just in case?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t always follow that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Touche.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No sleepovers.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No sleeping in each other’s beds,” Huaisang added for good measure. “No cuddling.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Not that we did it much before but, no holding hands either.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “No good morning or good night texts.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “No sending money. Or buying things for each other.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “No calling each other-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” Zixuan stopped him. “Some of these are definitely from before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But they make it hard,” Huaisang pointed out miserably. “Because right now I want to tuck my toes under you, which is from before. But then I also want to cuddle and watch a movie, like before, but because I like being the big spoon with you now. Because I want you to touch me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Touch</span>
  </em>
  <span> me,” he emphasized with concern. “I want to </span>
  <em>
    <span>kiss </span>
  </em>
  <span>you, Zixuan. I can’t have the little things that come so easy, because now they come with everything else and that’s what makes it hard. Because I want </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hated it but, “You’re right... But there’s a lot, Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s start over,” he suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How? We met when we were like, what? Four?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he frowned. “Should we stay away longer?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> like that. “This is going overwhelmingly bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is…” Huaisang ran his hand over his face, “I don’t know, Zixuan. Maybe there isn’t a way around this. Maybe we can’t try and be friends until everything settles.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That could be… Years away.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We won’t be the same.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Maybe it’s just a lose-lose situation,” Huaisang decided dejectedly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t want to look at it like that. But Huaisang had a point. Maybe they had to wait longer to try again. And if it didn’t fix itself by then, then at least they tried. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They fell into a silence, trying to think of something to make this part less painful. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you could get </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly </span>
  </em>
  <span>what you wanted, what would it be?” Zixuan added, “What does that look like to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang blinked. “I don’t know how to answer that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Try?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhm,” Huaisang stretched his legs out slightly. “I guess the perfect world scenario: you aren’t Jin Zixuan. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he rolled his eyes at himself, “but you aren’t. You aren’t getting married. I can kiss you. And you can kiss me. I can tell you you’re pretty. I can jokingly call you ‘daddy’ and call you ‘baby’ when it’s just us. I can live in Qinghe when Mingjue becomes clan leader, but you can be there too, and you can have all the plants you want, that they don’t let you have at Carp Tower.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t respond. He just listened.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang continued, “A little more realistically, though, still unrealistically hopeful: you don’t marry my cousin. Maybe you don’t marry anyone. You move to Lanling to take over as clan leader. I stay in GCR for the most part. No one has to know about us. At all. It would become a rumor, but that’s how it stays. A rumor. And no one knows.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan thought, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Well..</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What does it look like for you? To get exactly what you wanted?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect world,” Zixuan shrugged, “None of it matters. If you wanted to go to Qinghe, we would go to Qinghe. Because I’m not getting married. I’m not Jin Zixuan. So it doesn’t matter. I’d kiss you. You’d kiss me. You can tell me I’m pretty,” he repeated Huaisang. “And then I’d tell you you’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked down at his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re beautiful. Loud, dramatic, a little ridiculous, very stubborn… But funny, talented, and beautiful…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And a little more realistically,” Huaisang asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I convince my dad to let me take over without getting married. We can be a rumor. For a little while.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Unrealistically hopeful,” Huaisang pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t managed to get out of this marriage yet… But maybe it was time to sit down and ask Wen Ning what he had in mind when he said maybe Zixuan didn’t have to get married.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask you something else? Can I ask what you and Mingjue talked about?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan tilted his head, “What we talked about?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw you guys leaving the quad together the other day,” Huaisang wrapped his arms around himself. He didn’t want to ask Mingjue about it. He was scared of what Mingjue might have said, or how Mingjue might accidentally mistranslate something Zixuan said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was better to just ask Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, we got something to eat; we didn’t talk about much. We talked about my dad actually.” That was really about it. They didn’t talk about Huaisang. They didn’t talk about anything between the two of them. They didn’t talk about the marriage. They only talked about when Zixuan would take over. How he thinks things will be. How they could work together better than Mingjue’s uncle and Zixuan’s dad. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… Do you still think he hates you,” Huaisang asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A little, yeah,” Zixuan admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>(for the record mingjue actually really loves zixuan)</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan walked into Wen Ning’s room and sat at the foot of his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning paused his game and spun around in his chair.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I talked to Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d that go?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not horrible but not fun. I wanted to talk to you though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“About what you mean,” Zixuan started. “When you said maybe it was possible that I didn’t have to get married… Do you know something that I don’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... It was just an idea… And I think there’s potential, but it also depends on how okay you are with the risk.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the risk?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Getting kicked out of Carp Tower.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan considered. “... Tell me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>the wens are excited</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0108"><h2>108. Make It Work</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW// arranged marriages</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Isn’t it too early for us to become ‘friends’,” Mingjue asked Zixuan as he walked into his office. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure the answer to that is no,” he closed the door behind him. “If there’s any hope for the Jin Clan and the Nie Clan, I’m pretty sure we need to be on a better page than my dad and your uncle,” he sat down before him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue pursed his lips, “You’re not wrong… What do you want? Or are you actually here for school related issues?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to ask about… things in the Nie Clan…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Marriage, I guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue narrowed his eyes. “You already know about-” He paused. “We have to know about other clans,” Mingjue pointed out. As hiers it’s imperative that they learn about other clans more than most children are taught.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I only know what I’m supposed to know,” Zixuan countered. “I don’t actually know the conversations that happen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He would be lying if he said it didn’t make him the slightest bit happy that Zixuan came to him for this. He couldn’t say for certain that Zixuan was going to actually challenge his family, but he was doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Mingjue sat back in his chair. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nie regulations state that while arranged marriages are not necessarily frowned upon, they are not encouraged.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The last arranged marriage from your family was your grandparents.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your uncle was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span>, nor has he ever sought an arrangement for Daiyu as far as I’m aware. So why </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Why now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re available,” Mingjue pointed out with a shrug. “Jin Clan elites are obligated to get married, and they have always been arranged, as you know,” he continued. “But obviously there are less and less families who do this; your own elite are now being categorized and prioritized. He never planned to marry Daiyu off, especially not into your clan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How did he know that I wasn’t marrying Jiang Yanli anymore?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Guangshan.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your clan has turned down-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-don’t say ‘the opportunity’-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan scoffed, “Anyways, your clan has turned down my clan for ages. Why would my dad even believe there was a chance of change with this? Have they discussed it before?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They didn’t need to,” Mingjue replied. “I mean, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but they didn’t need to.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what that means.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You have an incredible reputation back home.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan narrowed his eyes, “Why? I’m there, at </span>
  <em>
    <span>most</span>
  </em>
  <span>, three times a year?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Because of Huaisang,” Mingjue deadpanned. “He’s done nothing but highlight your character and abilities beyond your father’s image since you guys met. Not entirely dissimilar to you making a space for Huaisang to be himself in Carp Tower where he definitely otherwise would not be able to.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed in consideration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>So</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Mingjue continued. “They talked, my uncle saw an opportunity, he took it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Did Daiyu even get a choice? Because the regulations for you are different-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“She did.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And she was fine with it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“She was.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, okay,” Zixuan’s voice trailed off. He assumed if given the choice, the answer would be ‘no’ as his would.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t hear it from me, but she has a boyfriend still,” Mingjue added. “It’s why she’s waiting to go forward with the engagement. But she’s still going forward with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What a slap in the face to that relationship,” Zixuan muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My uncle thinks they broke up already and she’s just waiting so she can focus on her studies.” He shrugged, “I don’t think she wants to break up with him from what she told me, but she’s going to.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… I guess I resonate with that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your relationship with her is going to suck at the end of the day,” Mingjue pointed out, “Literally neither of you want this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad we’re on the same page because-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-what is your standpoint as a future clan leader, and overall someone on the outside, on me calling off the engagement before it happens? Or even after it happens?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh…” Mingjue was thrown off. “You want my opinion?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue began, “Well as future clan leader… That’s tough. I don’t like the idea of it, getting married I mean, so how </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> would lead is I wouldn’t be making it happen. But I… See the initiative being taken and the potential benefits for both if you didn’t call it off… From an outside standpoint, knowing how it is for you, yeah it looks shitty and I’d advise not to. Especially knowing the relationship between our families. If you call it off, I highly suggest doing it </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> the engagement. Especially since it’s not announced yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That was wildly unhelpful-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You- it’s complicated!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Removed from everything though-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“God there’s more?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Mingjue scoffed. “My actual </span>
  <em>
    <span>personal</span>
  </em>
  <span> opinion on it… as Huaisang’s brother… Is to call it off. If you care a-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t,” Zixuan stopped him. “Don’t insinuate that I don’t care about Huaisang. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t be trying to figure something out right now. That’s why I wanted your opinion. Because I don’t know what to do. I still don’t even know what’s happening in my own head. The panic I feel about this is making me figure out what he means to me </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> quickly. You don’t get to invalidate that just because I haven’t found a way out of this yet. I am invalidating myself enough for the both of us. I need you to just sit there, and educate me on some shit, so I can… figure this out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue did not react, “Okay. Then let’s figure it out together.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan took a deep breath before continuing, “If I call it off, I still have to get married. That isn’t going to change. My dad has already hinted that if this doesn’t work out, whoever he tries to set me up with from there, I will have to get married right away. To avoid this happening </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span> because ‘it’s embarrassing and it’s damaging’,” he rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ignoring </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> for a second,” Mingjue leaned forward, “Why can’t it change? Why do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to get married?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I have to if I want to be clan leader.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, one: can you make the case for leaders who are unmarried who have led outside Lanling? Or make the case that you guys are behind on change in that particular department. The only ones who </span>
  <em>
    <span>enforce</span>
  </em>
  <span> arranged marriages in the elite classes are you guys, and the Wens. Unless, you want to keep that similarity. But even the Lans don’t. They’re actually against it. Two: do you even want to be clan leader?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Did he want to be clan leader? That was the second time in the last couple days that he was asked that. His opinion hadn’t ever mattered. He was told he had to. His whole life was supposed to prepare him for it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He still didn’t have an answer for the question. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>What was he supposed to do if he didn’t become clan leader?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“As clan leader or not, your reputation precedes you,” Mingjue stated. “And I think you can use that to your benefit.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but Qinghe isn’t L-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Mingjue interrupted. “I don’t mean just Qinghe.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea how.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been insanely involved with your clan and helping your father since you were little; I’m sure he made you but still. You have incredible character and initiative. It didn’t go unnoticed. From the look on your face clearly you missed it,” he scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan blinked, “What happened to being an intimidating Jin?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not intimidating,” Mingjue replied. “I’m intimidating.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not,” Zixuan scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And now I know you’re lying. I know for a fact you were avoiding me when you found out I knew you were sleeping with Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t pull that on me; it’s different,” he pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Also</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you avoided me too-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we focus,” Mingjue sighed. He didn’t want to get into that again.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue spoke honestly, “Zixuan, I feel like everything here can be solved if you just don’t get married. Whether that means you break some rules, or you give up this idea of becoming clan leader. That much I can’t help with. Not unless you tell me what you need me to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hesitated, “I need to talk to some people first…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Mingjue nodded. “Call me if you need anything. I’ll try to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Mingjue waved it off, “I have a question for you before you leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you can’t find a way out of this, what are you going to do about Huaisang?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to try and find a way out of this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan’s not in gcr</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>few years too late</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>[read: wuxuan??? zixian??? best friends] </span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of all people Zixuan was going to approach, even he didn’t see himself talking to Ouyang Zizhen about this. But after talking to Wen Ning and Mingjue, he felt like he needed to. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I realize this is really… Fucking random but-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He kind of talked himself in circles. And he was really fucking grateful that Zizhen didn’t bother pointing it out, but rather just listened to him and let him ramble until he got to the point.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s bold,” Zizhen concluded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Zixuan’s leg bounced. “I mean… The goal is to not have to… Mention that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to say anything like that,” Zizhen reminded him. “You don’t need to give her a reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“She might not side with me without one,” Zixuan frowned. “I don’t know,” he sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you have to, just lie,” Zizhen said honestly. “Whatever comes to mind, just go with it. Don’t say anything if you’re too uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean will it ever feel comfortable?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zizhen pursed his lips. “With people like them maybe not. But that’s not to say it’ll always feel like that with everyone you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s leg bounced anxiously. “Is it okay to ask what you did?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With my dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Zizhen snorted. “My dad was trying to give me The Talk but I stopped him halfway through and told him he needed to go back to the drawing board because ‘lady parts’ were not going to be involved if I was there.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Gotta stay on brand.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not actually what you said was it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zizhen laughed, “It was. He looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>mortified</span>
  </em>
  <span>; dropped his head into his hands like it was the end of the world, and said ‘I need your mother.’” He shrugged with a wide smile. “It was an interesting conversation.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan knew that wasn’t going to be the case for him. He knew his parents enough to know that his father would react badly, and while his mother was up in the air it was likely she would be disappointed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But he needed out of this engagement. He needed to talk to his mom. She was the only person who would defend him with such a ferocity that his dad couldn’t say no. Guangshan might not love her but he was scared of her. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan knocked on her door cautiously. He knew his dad was gone. He watched Guangshan leave earlier on; he wasn’t going to be back until early in the morning. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He opened the door at the sound of her voice calling from inside. She was sitting up reading something. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan closed the door behind him and crawled into the massive bed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It’d been years since he curled up hugging his mom. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well this is a surprise,” she brushed his hair to the side, looking down at his face. “Remember when you used to sleep in here?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan chuckled, “You said I couldn’t anymore because I was getting too big. I really wasn’t though,” he pouted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She grinned, “Do you remember</span>
  <em>
    <span> how</span>
  </em>
  <span> you slept,” she poked his side, “You took up a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of room.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sprawled out on his back beside her, arms and legs spread as far as they would go. He lifted his head to check, “Hmm.. No, I don’t think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His mom pushed his arm off of her and smiled at him fondly, “My little star baby,” she littered his cheeks with kisses until he laughed and sat up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He missed the nickname.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She took his expression into consideration, putting her book off to the side. “Okay, what do you want,” she asked, amused.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just to talk about something.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she nodded at him to continue.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, uhm,” Zixuan swallowed hard. “You said if I wanted to ‘screw things up’, you wouldn’t tell Dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She bit back a smile to try and hide her excitement but Zixuan noticed it immediately. His heart dropped. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she breathed out a sigh of relief. “Yes, absolutely! Let me handle this. I’ll talk to Ziyuan-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Mama,” Zixuan took her hand before she could grab her phone. “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan took a deep breath. “I don’t want to get married.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“At all? Baby you can’t do that.” Zixuan was starting to feel overwhelmed before this conversation could even really get started. “You have to, to be clan leader.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I really don’t need to be married,” he countered, his voice surprisingly steady. “There are plenty of examples of strong leaders who aren’t. What is the exact reasoning for </span>
  <em>
    <span>us,</span>
  </em>
  <span> besides tradition. Because from what I could find, it’s nothing that is of great relevance anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She opened her mouth to respond-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t say anything about having children either,” Zixuan replied. “I don’t need to have children right away, nor will I.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They talked a while longer about it. Specifically about not creating negative relations with other families, especially the Nies if he were to end the engagement. “Friendships don’t exist in the way you are familiar with when you’re a clan leader,” she warned him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am aware,” Zixuan replied. “But I don’t want my marriage to be some business deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Silence.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you want me to be in love, mama?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His mom hummed. “Is there someone else? Maybe we can figure something out. I can talk to the family.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t reply. How was he supposed to get the point across if she didn’t absorb anything from their conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She tilted her head. “Who is she?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan replied quietly. “I don’t want to get married, mama.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t tell her. “If you make me do this, I’m leaving.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not staying. Guangyao is perfectly capable of stepping up-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“All this for something as silly as marriage?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not-” Zixuan exhaled slowly. “Is there something you need me to say for you to support me?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I support you,” she frowned. “You know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then help me convince him,” he urged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Whether or not you do, I’m going to Qinghe to talk to Daiyu tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His mom brushed his hair back. “Okay, star baby. Tell me what to do for you to be happy.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Zixuan waited for her response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you want out…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… This is both a surprise and a relief. No offense, but, I didn’t want to get married either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you agree to this if you don’t want it,” Zixuan asked her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t say no,” she replied. “No one was making me but… Felt kind of impossible to say no to my dad. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>excited </span>
  </em>
  <span>about it,” Daiyu added. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now is your time to say no,” Zixuan told her. “Unless y-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Daiyu stopped him. “No, I want out if you want out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do. No offense. I’ve known you forever but… you’re not Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daiyu’s eyes widened. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No offense-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Daiyu gaped and hit Zixuan’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan gripped his shoulder. “Why are you people so aggressive here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut </span>
  <em>
    <span>up</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Daiyu gasped, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m waiting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jin Zixuan</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” she looped her arm through his and kept walking with him. “Tell me </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s… Not much to tell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, no wonder you didn’t want to marry </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Daiyu laughed. “That would have been… awful actually,” realization of what the situation must’ve been like for them dawned on her. “Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it hasn’t been fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, does he know? That you like him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He does…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You sound upset.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just trying to figure out how to be friends again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Just friends?” Daiyu frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you met my family?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But they like Huaisang,” she pointed out. “Your mom loves him.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan didn’t disagree. “He can do whatever he wants around Carp Tower,” he nodded. “But I’ve always been warned about how I interact with him. I’ve gotten in trouble a few times.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I didn’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged, “Only happens after everyone has left. I’ve learned to tune out the lectures.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So just friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not unless he was fine keeping it a secret… Which isn’t fair to Huaisang,” Zixuan sighed, “But at least I won’t be married I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t intend on telling Daiyu about Huaisang, but he figured he needed someone who wasn’t Mingjue on the inside to know. And well, if he was ending their engagement before it even happened, she should know why. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Clan Leader Nie,” Zixuan dipped his head respectfully when they crossed his path on their walk. “I was hoping to see you before I left, actually.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t even realize you were here,” he smiled at the two of them before him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The smile didn’t last. Zixuan and Daiyu told him they would not be getting married. “A mutual decision,” Daiyu assured him. “We would prefer to stay friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Her father hummed. “I’m pleasantly surprised that you took it upon yourselves to let me know instead of falling back on your father,” he patted Zixuan’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually,” Zixuan began. “I would greatly appreciate it if you kept this between us.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he not know?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet. It was important to talk to Daiyu first and foremost.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I respect that, but am I expected to lie to Guangshan should he speak to me?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t have to,” Zixuan replied. “I will speak to him. At the next conference.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He raised his eyebrow, “The next conference? That's about a week away. If not Daiyu, who do you plan to announce at the conference?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No one,” Zixuan replied. “I will not be getting married.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And you expect him to go along with this?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Guangyao stopped him. “You want to, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… Changing the plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For what reason?” Guangyao didn’t understand what Zixuan’s reasoning could possibly be, or why he felt the need to tell Guangyao. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t want to get married.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That… Is not a good enough reason for him and you know that,” Guangyao pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’re giving up being clan leader?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say that,” Zixuan sighed. “I want to… make some changes. Breaking tradition… But if it absolutely comes down to it, then yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangyao considered it for a moment. “... Auntie Li Hua always said Jin traditions are bullshit. Okay.. So who have you talked to already?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng pursed his lips, “Am I going to get any explanation on this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I literally just don’t want to get married,” Zixuan replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I think it’s a good idea,” Yanli replied, biting back a smile. “The more people the better. Count us involved.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian hummed, “Recruiting heirs and elites to be on your side </span>
  <em>
    <span>just in case</span>
  </em>
  <span> it blows up in your face, is a power move. Do you know how </span>
  <em>
    <span>shitty</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’ll look if he says no and tries to boot your ass or something?” Wuxian bounced with excitement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You realize you’re going to humiliate your father,” Jiang Cheng asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, he can decide if he’s going to agree with it or not,” Zixuan shrugged. “If not, then he’s chosen to embarrass himself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yanli smirked. “I love it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian was ready to watch Zixuan throw everything into the fire. If there was one thing that Zixuan excelled at, it was his ability to connect with people and get them to like him once he flipped the switch on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was the epitome of the perfect Jin. Not Guangshan, but Zixuan. Because he had just the right amount of arrogance </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> charm to make all parties happy. He knew when to lean towards arrogance and confidence, and when to to be charming and neighborly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew how to win people over. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude,” Wuxian beamed, “Fucking love to see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so,” Jiang Cheng started, “Just to make sure I’m understanding the… </span>
  <em>
    <span>procedure</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yanli stopped him, “Mingjue and I will handle that part. You just follow.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And you got </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> nine of the Ouyangs,” Wuxian shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan nodded. “Zizhen went home this weekend to talk to his dad and grandparents.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fucking awesome. Like, dude I hope he just agrees, but at the same time, I just want to scare the </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span> out of him.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>He had let Mingjue speak to Xichen. While he was sure Xichen would be fine speaking to Wangji, that was something he preferred to do himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan caught sight of him walking alone down the sidewalk; likely to the parking lot. “Wangji,” he called.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wangji turned and waited as Zixuan caught up to him. “Can I run something by you?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wangji blinked. “Mn.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… A little fucking crazy, but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wangji listened intently. He was happy to hear that Zixuan had gotten quite a good amount of people already ready to defend him and support him in stepping up </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> if he had to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you should be getting married if you do not want to,” he agreed. “My clan is against it. I don’t mind helping. What is it that you need me to do?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“You did </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang asked. He could not believe what Zixuan was telling him, in the middle of the quad, of all places. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Granted, Zixuan had asked if he wanted a ride home and he had said no.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Made a backup plan in case he says no,” Zixuan repeated. “He either says yes or-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” Huaisang paused. “You’re practically threatening to overthrow your father,” he whispered anxiously. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Zixuan kept walking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yup</span>
  </em>
  <span>’,” Huaisang chased after him, “Why are you so calm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because it won’t get to that point,” Zixuan responded. “He wouldn’t risk his public image like that. And if he does, and he still fights me on it, he wouldn’t risk me publicly leaving.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And if he does?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then I leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand. That’s it? He either says yes. He says no, you go before the conference and call a motion for removal for the first time in… fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>ages</span>
  </em>
  <span>? And he either let’s it happen, or defies it and removes you from the family.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It sounds like you understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang rolled his eyes. “What </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> he does go against them and you lose everything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then I feel okay knowing that he just ruined his public image, and that my bank account is fine,” he paused to look at Huaisang. “My title is not everything.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0109"><h2>109. Jin Ling is Confused</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was dark out. Zixuan was not happy to be driving so late but dinner was long. He was stuck in Carp Tower longer than he wanted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He, reluctantly, spoke to Jin Han while he could. It went better than he expected. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he had no intention of getting any more Jins involved otherwise it was sure to get out. Jin Han liked to gossip, but… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was the last risk Zixuan was willing to take until the actual conference. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt sick with nerves despite feeling okay with his decisions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling was sick with nerves too. But not for the same thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He needed to talk to Zixuan. It felt risky, but he figured that if anyone was going to understand why Jin Ling felt the way he did, it would be Zixuan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hoped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling saw the way Zixuan was around Huaisang. It wasn’t weird to him. He was used to it. He saw Huaisang around Carp Tower often enough when he was growing up. Of course, all their friends were used to it, and it didn’t matter much because Huaisang was like that with all of his friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling was familiar with Huaisang before he even really knew who he was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a bit jarring when he saw Huaisang completely unfiltered around Zixuan for the first time, and vice versa. That much he hadn’t been familiar with. He was used to a certain sense of formality when he saw them together. Until UCR. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friends' complete lack of reaction to the way Huaisang hung all over Zixuan, or the way Zixuan joked around with Huaisang was a surprise but he accepted it as the norm fast. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It did not miss him when the two had become uncomfortably distant around the other, Jiang Cheng had confirmed that it wasn’t normal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he saw the way they acted during Monday Movie Night, and just how </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> they were from the first time he saw them at his first movie night with them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Then there was the comment Zixuan had made to him in passing once about the engagement with Daiyu. Something about how it was going to ruin everything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was able to piece things together over time… He thought so anyways. The comment was what told him what he needed to know.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The comment was the reason he even wanted to talk to talk to Zixuan about this.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with you,” Zixuan questioned him. “You look like you’re about to yell.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling scoffed, “I’m not going to yell.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t believe him. He nonchalantly rolled the window down. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling huffed in annoyance and rolled the window back up, “I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to yell.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why do you look like that? Stop it, it’s ugly.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re ugly.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Weak,” Zixuan turned the music down a bit more. “What’s wrong with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m…” Jin Ling pressed his lips together. He could just ignore it. Just carry on like he had been. “I’m just trying to think of how I want to ask something.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ask </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> something,” Zixuan raised his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, advice? I guess…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Advice?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The look on his face and the uncertainty in his voice made Zixuan feel like the matter must’ve been serious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I was going to try and ask Wuxian but,” he paused. He was going to wimp out the second he made eye contact with Zixuan.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Zixuan blinked. “Wuxian is actually quite good when it comes to advice. He never follows it but he’s good at giving it. Why not ask Wuxian?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think he’ll get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Get what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What it’s like in Carp Tower.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.” That was true. It was one thing to know what it was like, it was another to live there.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You look at him differently,” Jin Ling muttered. Every fiber of his being was telling him to shut up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Who? Wuxian?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s chest tightened with panic. He didn’t know how to stop this conversation. He didn’t know what this had to do with </span>
  <em>
    <span>advice</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He tugged on his ear anxiously before glancing at Jin Ling. He continued to stare out the window. “Huaisang? What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wangji looks at Wuxian the same way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now how the fuck was he supposed to respond to that? “Uh… Okay. Not really sure what </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> supposed to mean, but alright.” He silently cursed himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling was silent.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s fight or flight was kicking in and for once his first instinct was not to run. He pulled into a streetside parking spot and turned the car off. “What exactly is this about, Jin Ling?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he why you’re trying to call off your engagement?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Well, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> calling it off, I’m not trying. And regardless of that, I am not getting married to someone my dad has picked for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But you </span>
  <em>
    <span>like</span>
  </em>
  <span> him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hesitated. It went against everything in him to answer that question coming from another Jin but, “Yes. I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you guys dating then?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Zixuan froze. “I… Don’t really know what’s happening with that,” he said honestly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling made a face, “How do you not know? You either are or aren’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s, it’s complicated! Why do you even want to know about this?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I just… I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>confused</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Me</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jin Ling sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… Can you elaborate?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I’m making things up. I don’t know if this is some kind of thing where I’m told I can’t, so therefore I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to. I don’t know if the way I think about someone means something. I don’t know what to do once I figure things out. I just, I don’t know. Can you just tell me-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan raised his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Can you just tell me </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> about you? How you figured it out?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan muttered, “You’re talking to the wrong person in this relationship. Huaisang is your better bet.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling gave him a pointed look.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, uhm,” Zixuan unbuckled to properly turn himself. “I don’t really have a whole lot figured out. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>only</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing I know is that I like Huaisang. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you realize that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“When my dad said I was going to marry a Nie. I heard it, and I felt sick. Because then everything had to end with Huaisang. That moment was a slap in the face. Because I knew? I was… I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>aware</span>
  </em>
  <span> that I liked Huaisang. A lot. I didn’t want things to end, but knew they would. I had sorted through everything enough to </span>
  <em>
    <span>recognize</span>
  </em>
  <span> that the way I cared about him, and thought about him, was </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But I kept tricking myself into thinking I didn’t know what it meant; I didn’t want it to mean anything,” Zixuan explained. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“End what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You said everything would end. But you’re not dating.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan cleared his throat. “Jin Ling…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t make me tell you every detail of what Huaisang and I do when no one is around.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan pressed his lips tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay but how did you get to that? How did you get to the point of going ‘okay, I am going to sleep with </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> guy!’”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Zixuan dropped his head into his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m being serious,” Jin Ling whined. “Just summarize it or something!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan sighed heavily. He didn’t reply right away. He wasn’t sure how to answer. Mostly because it still confused him. “Huaisang is my </span>
  <em>
    <span>best</span>
  </em>
  <span> friend. He’s always been my best friend. You know how we joke around. It’s always been like that. I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>comfortable</span>
  </em>
  <span> joking around with him. In high school, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>jokingly</span>
  </em>
  <span> kissed him to shut him up. In front of all my friends. And it was funny. For everyone else. It was funny for me, right up until I did it. Then it was like ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>oh my god, I just kissed Huaisang</span>
  </em>
  <span>’. Fast forward to sophomore year of college, I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> thinking about it. I was bothered by the fact that I kissed him as a joke and I wasn’t horrified. And I wanted to kiss him again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanted to be horrified.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess so? I don’t really know. But I asked him to kiss me. And it got a little out of hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling joked, “I’m sure that really helped clear things up.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smirked, “Yeah. Super helpful. Imagine how helpful when it just kept happening… I don’t know when I started liking Huaisang. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>assume</span>
  </em>
  <span> high school? Some point before I kissed him?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Otherwise, the kiss wouldn’t have meant anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zixuan nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you kissed other guys?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you? Now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan thought. “I guess. Maybe?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiss Wuxian and find out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hard pass. Next question.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you had crushes on other guys?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But you have had crushes on girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But… I thought-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I had girlfriends,” Zixuan confirmed. “Yeah. More to pass time I guess. Going through the motions… Probably not the nicest thing to do,” he muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but you’ve-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Kissed girls? Yes. Slept with them? Yes,” Zixuan answered the questions he knew now were going to come. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling was confused. If being completely open was something that could help him then great. Zixuan wished he had asked someone earlier himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And before you ask, no. I did not like it. And I felt like shit every single time because I did not like it. To clarify real quick: Huaisang and I weren’t dating, and we never talked about how we felt when I did this; I slept with someone when I was confused about Huaisang, and can </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> confirm that I do not like it. It’s not for me. Sex with women is not that great.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well…” Jin Ling snorted. “Agree to disagree on that one.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Agree to disagree.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And how you </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>about Huaisang… Have you ever felt that way for anyone else?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Suppose I thought I liked a guy… But I was unsure… What do you think I should do?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you actually unsure, or do you want to be wrong too?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to be wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you don’t want it getting out? Because of Carp Tower?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhm,” Jin Ling thought. “Partially? I do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want anyone in Carp Tower finding out. I’m not you, my skill set is zero, I can’t get kicked out. I’m already low on that rung-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not as low as Zixun,” Zixuan deadpanned. “What’s the other reason?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jin Ling sighed and looked down. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>… Ah. Made sense why he asked about Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span> nhs doesn’t read</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>recap</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0110"><h2>110. Coup</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan walked up to his father, followed by Guangyao.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ouyang Xin dipped his head in acknowledgment as he walked away from Guangshan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will never understand that family,” Guangshan muttered to his sons.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They do quite well,” Guangyao pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mn,” he sighed. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to talk to you,” Zixuan said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In private.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is something the matter,” Guangshan frowned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not for long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guangshan couldn’t imagine what his sons needed to talk to him about during a conference. But he followed them nonetheless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt uncomfortable on the walk. He wasn’t sure why, and kept his smile in place as he greeted people on the way by. Nearly everyone had arrived. Surely they would be starting soon. Hopefully this would go quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glanced over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The number of eyes that greeted him was unsettling. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What is this about,” he asked as his wife closed the door behind them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>avengers assembling</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How many times will we have the same conversation,” he asked Zixuan, flanked by Madam Jin, and Guangyao.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“This time you’re going to listen to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And you think because you’ve gotten your mother and Guangyao on your side that anything is going to change?” Guangshan scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you really want to brush me off again, you’ll find that I have more people behind me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Madam Jin spoke, “I think you should listen to Zixuan this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan felt fucking cornered. “Fine,” he waved for him to continue.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan tried to speak as clearly as he could. He wasn’t sure if he had to be honest. He said everything Mingjue had said to him. He repeated every point that was given to him in each of his conversations.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You want me to let you take over as head of this family, without a wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And if I say no, you’re going to go out there and fucking take it from me?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And what makes you think you’re capable of that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you,” Zixuan said. “I have spoken to a great deal of people. Who I am sure have spoken to their own people. So you have three options. Let it go. Ruin your reputation and I take over now. Or ruin your reputation and I leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan scoffed, “You wouldn’t put yourself in such a position.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you willing to risk it and find out?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guangshan thought about all the people who had watched him leave with Zixuan.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Un-fucking-believable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wen ning supremacy actually</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wait</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>thank you wen qing</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>welcome</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>HUAISANG</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>secret</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>no hanahaki!</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>mingjue :(</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0111"><h2>111. Wangxian & Huaixuan Outing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan and Huaisang hadn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>talked</span>
  </em>
  <span> yet. Not about what they were. They talked a little after the conference, but not about this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a lot to talk about. Neither really knew how to approach it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Wuxian gave Zixuan no option but to go to the store with him and Huaisang, he became only more aware of the fact that they needed to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The three of them fell into an uncomfortable silence until Wuxian caught sight of Wangji. He gasped and immediately pulled over, “Lan Zhan!!!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang found himself pressed back into his seat as Wuxian leaned forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Wei Ying,” he smiled. “Hello,” he nodded to Huaisang and Zixuan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re heading out of town, do you want to come?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to pick up stuff for the FPA Department,” Huaisang replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan leaned forward, “He wrangled me into the car when he drove by me too. He’ll beg.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian had to admit that trapping Zixuan on a trip with him and Huaisang was a strategic move. He thought maybe they were still fighting because of how awkward they continued to be around each other… But getting Wangji to join them? Yeah, that was purely selfish. He smiled, “I will. Are you free?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He smirked, “I’ll come.” He didn’t need to be asked twice. He glanced at Zixuan, both giving the other an awkward acknowledgment before looking out their respective windows.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sighed when Wuxian called the trip an adventure. He wasn’t looking for one. He just needed to get stuff and go home. He didn’t want to think about how to interact with Zixuan. He didn’t want to keep up appearances for Wangji. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He braided his hair and rolled down his window. He definitely didn’t want to start getting carsick with Wangji in the car. He hoped Wuxian wasn’t going to take the long way just for this ‘adventure’.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He turned the music up louder to drown out his own thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian thought maybe Huaisang felt nauseous so he rolled all the windows down. In the back seat, unprepared, Zixuan and Wangji quickly tied their hair back before the wind could completely and entirely dishevel them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian sang dramatically trying to engage Huaisang, even just a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And eventually he caved. He sang loudly, he laughed at Wuxian, he slowly forgot about the stress of having been thrown into the middle of his department’s chaos.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smiled to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji and Zixuan glanced at each other and chuckled at the two boys in front.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>huaixuan &amp; wangxian outing</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t for the show is it,” Zixuan glanced down at the items Huaisang was searching through.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he muttered, feeling the fabric carefully. “I was commissioned to make another piece; might as well pick up what I need while I’m here,” he shoved a pattern at Zixuan. “Hold that up.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan complied without complaint as Huaisang draped another piece of fabric over it. Huaisang hummed and brushed a piece of Zixuan’s hair forward to sit over the fabric. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tilted his head in thought. He had half a mind to make it for Zixuan instead. But while Huaisang </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> the idea of him in these colors, in </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nie</span>
  </em>
  <span> colors...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced into a nearby mirror. “These are pretty together. Is it what you’re looking for?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang bit back a smile and took the fabric back, “I need something a little more blue than gray I think.” He gasped and rushed forward towards a display of fans. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>These</span>
  </em>
  <span> colors,” he picked up a silvery-blue fan and held it up. “Hold,” he shoved it into Zixuan’s hand before running off to find matching fabric.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan calmly fanned himself and glanced over at Wuxian and Wangji. He hummed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang walked back and placed a pile of different fabrics before Zixuan. “I think these will do… Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang looked in the same direction as Wuxian held up a dark pattern for Wangji. “... Do you think they realize yet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan considered the way they looked at each other and thought about what Jin Ling had said to him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian bit back a smile as he held up some red fabric instead. Wangji looked flustered. “... Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish they’d say something because they’re really fucking cute,” Huaisang frowned. He lowered his voice and leaned back, “Do you think that maybe they already-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji looked over at them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang scampered off in a panic as if Wangji had heard what he had said.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan chuckled and picked up all of the fabric Huaisang left behind.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, we’re going to wait outside,” Wuxian called over to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>huaixuan &amp; wangxian continued </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>processing</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought I saw them in here,” Wangji glanced through a storefront window. “... I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure they’re ignoring us,” Zixuan looked down at his phone. Huaisang and Wuxian had read his texts.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Mn… Well that can’t be good.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan chuckled, “Nope… If you were Wuxian and Huaisang, where would you go?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji glanced down both sides of the busy street. He spotted a toy store just a few storefronts away.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan caught sight of it himself and sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sure enough...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Lan Zhan,” Wuxian called out the instant the two straight-faced men walked in. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Look</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Wuxian held up a stuffed bunny, nearly as large as himself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It looks very soft.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>It is</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Feel it,” he practically threw it at Wangji.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan left them in search of Huaisang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>ASK</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>and wen qing thought she’d never see the word again</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang spotted Zixuan texting in the corner of the store. He skipped up to him, eating some chocolate he had just bought. “Whatcha doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan replied without hesitation, “Talking about hanahaki disease.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang froze mid-bite. “.... </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hanahaki</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhhhh,” immediate regret.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang held back a laugh. “... Alright-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan needed to talk to Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They hadn’t picked right back up where they left off before they kept their distance. They never made it clear what they would do if Zixuan got out of his engagement. They never made a plan. They never sat down to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But they were still cautious of each other. That much was obvious.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan had slowed his pace to let Wangji and Wuxian walk off before him. Huaisang noticed and did the same.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But while Wangji and Wuxian talked and laughed together, Zixuan and Huaisang walked in silence. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... We still need to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stopped walking, “Huaisang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” he bit his lip. “We will. Promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re okay though, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wuxian called down the street, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>We’re leaving let’s go!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0112"><h2>112. Boyfriends? Boyfriends.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They tried to talk the following afternoon. But you put two horribly awkward and nervous boys together and not much is going to come from it. The only thing they managed was that they wanted to try and make things work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within a couple minutes they tabled their discussion to figure out what they wanted to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So “make things work” really could have meant a lot of different things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Make’ but how? What were they going to do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Things’ meaning what? What things? Where was the line? Was there a line?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Work’ to what extent. What was okay?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang,” Wuxian muttered. “Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick. Maybe you should stop drinking?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Absolutely, he felt sick. But he barely had anything to drink. To be honest he wasn’t sure he made more than two sips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt sick because he was willing to give Zixuan everything he could possibly want and more. Even if it felt like things might blow up in his face, he would still do it. Because it was Zixuan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could be told that things would end horribly for them, and he would </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> put everything he had into this while he could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And somewhere deep within himself, Huaisang was still prepared to have everything ripped away from him if he was being honest with himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That fucking terrified him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m great,” Huaisang smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked up from across the room at Huaisang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His thoughts were no better. He felt like an absolute wreck. Especially when his friends left and they were the only two left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had a feeling Wen Ning had left to sleep over Jiang Cheng’s on purpose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan swallowed hard and glanced at Huaisang who was already looking at him. Huaisang gave a nervous laugh, “Ahaha, well… Uhm…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Why did this feel scarier now? Why did it feel scarier now that they even </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> they wanted to work things out; now that they wanted to try and be something?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to stay?” Huaisang asked. He wouldn’t have been offended if Zixuan didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them wanted to talk. Not right now. Not this late at night.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They just wanted to exist first. They just wanted to sit, together, with the thought that this </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> work. Really well. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them wanted to mess things up now. Not after everything. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang thought maybe he shouldn’t have gone to Zixuan’s room despite how normal it was for him to. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He watched Zixuan finally walk in and beeline for his plants. He wasn’t doing anything but moving things around to seem preoccupied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang sat up on his knees, “Zixuan?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” he replied quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan kept fiddling with his plants. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jin Zixuan,” he said a bit more firmly, surprising even himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan turned around. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t need to do anything but sleep.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan didn’t say anything. But he was very clearly stressed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t read your mind, Zixuan. I don’t know what you want.” He added softly, “Tell me what you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan replied quietly, “I don’t know what I want.” He froze, “I don’t mean-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what you meant,” Huaisang assured him. “You don’t have to know. We don’t have to talk. We don’t have to do anything. We can just sleep. It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. And you can change your mind too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Should they talk right now? Was it okay to wait? Could they just cuddle? Or maybe it was best to just go to sleep?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You tell me what you want,” Huaisang said. “Whatever you want. If you want to talk about things right </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>, we can.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do right now? If… If it wasn’t me? If it was easier.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tilted his head in confusion, “If it wasn’t you?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t want to do anything if it wasn’t you. But right now, with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I would kiss you. And tell you it’s okay. And everything else is up to you. You can decide whatever you want after that.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang reached for Zixuan’s hand when he shuffled forward, “And hopefully make you feel like it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You always make things feel okay,” Zixuan cupped Huaisang’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang’s pulled at Zixuan’s waist. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan’s lips brushed over Huaisang’s. He hadn’t kissed Huaisang in… God, in so long.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to. Not right now. “I don’t want to talk yet.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang closed his eyes and whispered, “That’s okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wen ning is about to lock them in a room</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Huaisang huffed and dropped down beside Zixuan the next day. Huaisang took the pages from his hands and set them off to the side. “I’m ready to talk. Are you ready to talk?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, if you’d rather wait some more,” Huaisang got up from the couch. He was more than fine with that.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait, wait, wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zixuan grabbed Huaisang by his hips and pulled him back down. “Let’s talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“How is this going to work? We need some sort of game plan-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-I agree-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-I’m okay winging everything but I know you can’t do that, so we have to figure something out that actually works.” Huaisang started spewing all his questions at once, “So are we putting a name on this? Also do you think your mom suspects something? Are we going to keep acting like our friends don’t know? What is going to-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit, wait,” Zixuan covered Huaisang’s mouth. “Let me process. Rewind, slow down,” he dropped his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Are we putting a name on this,” Huaisang started over.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Huaisang said honestly. “I mean, it feels easier to hide if we don’t, but I can’t explain why. But at the same time, it’d be nice… Do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. So there’s no second guessing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then okay,” Huaisang held out his hand, “Boyfriends?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan shook his hand, “Boyfriends.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s never tell anyone we shook on it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Deal,” Zixuan let go of Huaisang’s hand. “Next question.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think your mom suspects something?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zixuan said honestly. “I think she thinks there’s some girl I’m not telling her about if anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang replied, “If at any point you decide you’ve had enough of this, just tell me. Okay, like if there </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>some girl-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang. I can promise you I am wildly uninterested; that won’t be the case. At all.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but… Okay, next question-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait did you want to talk about it first?” Zixuan asked. “You asked how this was going to work,” he reminded Huaisang. “I think we need to talk. We should be okay about this right?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang nodded reluctantly. He wasn’t used to telling Zixuan what was on his mind when it came to this. He was used to ignoring things. Bottling them up. Beating around the bush. Not this. “I feel like you’re going to get sick of this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang shrugged, “I don’t know. I’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>been</span>
  </em>
  <span> thinking that this wasn’t going to last. That you would have gotten your fun out of it and ended it. I wasn’t planning to ever even have this conversation. I didn’t think it was possible. Just,” he sighed. “If you do, </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> you decide you want something new; you want to see how it goes with other people now that you can… sort of? Just like… I don’t know, just let me know when you even consider it,” he chewed his lip anxiously waiting for Zixuan to respond. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to invalidate how Huaisang felt about that. He hoped that he could change his mind; that he didn’t have to worry about that. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned in, tilting Huaisang’s chin and pulling his bottom lip free with his thumb to get Huiasang to stop. He pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before sitting back, “I’ll let you know,” he confirmed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Huaisang mumbled. Telling Zixuan what was on his mind was weird...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Next question?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we going to pretend that our friends don’t know about this,” Huaisang asked. “Because they literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>know. To some extent. Even the Freshmen Four. I’m also 98% positive that Wangji does too. Do we have to act like this isn’t a thing around them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hummed, “Uhm… I mean…?” He shrugged, “I personally don’t want to talk about it, but that has </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do with you and everything to do with me. And the fact that Jiang Cheng and Wuxian are going to be annoying as fuck about it. I just don’t like that attention, but I guess I don’t care? Because they… </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>know. And I know they wouldn’t say anything to anyone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They’ve been eyeing us like a hawk,” Huaisang pointed out. “Wuxian making you come with us to go shopping was strictly so he could ditch us, you know that right?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Zixuan chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If Jiang Cheng asks me if we worked things out </span>
  <em>
    <span>one more time</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I might yell. I might </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> yell, Zixuan,” Huaisang looked at him seriously.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan smirked, “You don’t have to do that. Say what you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Huaisang huffed. “I’m really going to lose it on him if he rolls his eyes at me one more time, Zixuan I swear, he’s driving me insane, I almost blocked him when he sent me the fucking eye emoji just because we went to Lotus Root together after class yesterday.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Cute,” Zixuan muttered as he watched Huaisang get animated over this.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s too invested in this, analyzing everything,” Huaisang didn’t hear him. “Like, is there something you fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’ll just get worse once he finds out,” Zixuan pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan laughed, “Okay, okay; next question.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Huaisang sighed heavily. “Uhm? Oh, right- what’s going to happen when you move back to Carp Tower? What then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure what that would look like. He didn’t intend to end things with Huaisang just because he was moving back. But he wasn’t sure how their relationship would change. Not yet. “Can we talk about that when it happens?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask something?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Huaisang urged him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we take a step back? And just slow down?” Zixuan fiddled nervously. “We kind of… Skipped a lot of steps. Like we have this secrecy down pat-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“-though we kind of messed it up around our friends-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well,” Zixuan snorted. “Besides that. Right now, I don’t see too many issues since I’m not living at Carp Tower. Which is really nice and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to take advantage of that but… I think if we take advantage of that, we should also just take a step back and slow down… I don’t want to feel like there’s a timer on this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Even though there’s a timer on this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But there doesn’t have to be,” he pointed out. “We can just go back to the drawing table when I have to move back. But only then. I don’t want you to get wrapped up in how </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> will change things… Is that okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang smiled softly, “That’s okay. We can absolutely do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zixuan let out a sigh of relief. “... Well that wasn’t so bad!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang laughed, “We are so bad at confrontation.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The worst I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I have one more question though.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Shoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we go get something to eat,” Huaisang pushed himself off the couch. “I’m fucking starving.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan grinned as Huaisang pulled him to a stand, “Where do you want to go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>the mister fantastic option is so cursed</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0113"><h2>113. untitled bc idk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wangji best friend</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>a reminder from the main au, wuxian has his phone off rn</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>nice of mingjue</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>wuxian broke</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jc has been sending nhs texts for a while at this point for literally *any* or lack thereof, interaction between him and zixuan</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>these two-</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>  <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0114"><h2>114. Boys.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u">WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">DESERVES </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">wuxian wants to scream about their boys together </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">that depends </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">D: </span>
</p><p>  <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">look at them,,, </span>
</p><p> <br/> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0115"><h2>115. Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zixuan had been stuck in Cloud Recesses for a while but when he managed to leave, he swung by Wuxian’s apartment to drop off his laptop. “Here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I cannot tell you the amount of caffeine I’ve consumed in the last three hours,” he said over his shoulder before he closed the bathroom door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moment the bathroom door shut, their front door swung open again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wangji looked up in confusion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look who I found coming in when I got here,” Wen Ning entered, followed by Huaisang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wuxian blinked in confusion. Why was everyone showing up? “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning replied, “I’m bringing back Jiang Cheng’s charger. I just came from campus.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang held out a folder for Jiang Cheng, “I need a ride home when you’re done.” He sounded annoyed with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” Jiang Cheng flipped through the pages.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang rolled his eyes. Jiang Cheng had been pushing his buttons all week. He was less than excited to get a ride from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Getting into a car with Jiang Cheng meant more questions about Zixuan. He already knew that he would tell Jiang Cheng about their relationship in a fit of pure annoyance during the car ride at this rate.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan threw open the bathroom door, already calling out his question before it had fully opened, “Did you guys throw out my toothbrush?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji blinked, “You have a toothbrush here?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We all do,” Wen Ning answered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stared at his friends sitting behind Wangji. “... Have you guys been sitting there this whole time?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Huaisang replied boredly. “We just got here.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I could have given you a ride?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng looked up to glance between the two of them with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I came from home,” Huaisang replied. “I had to find some old notes from Music Theory for Jiang Cheng.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I was bringing back his laptop charger,” Wen Ning kicked his legs up and dropped them down onto Huaisang’s.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh okay,” Zixuan looked back to Wuxian, “Where’s my toothbrush?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why does it matter,” Jiang Cheng asked. “Are you trying to brush your teeth right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian blurted, “Jiang Cheng accidentally dropped it into the toilet!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang and Wen Ning laughed loudly; Wangji bit back a chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>The toilet?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I was reorganizing! It fell in the move,” Jiang Cheng announced. “You should buy a new one.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I slept over tonight and didn’t know,” he scoffed, already pulling his phone out to order a new one. “The fucking toilet,” he grumbled to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wangji put his pen down, “You all have a toothbrush here in case of a sleepover?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We all have one at each other’s places,” Wen Ning said. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re all color coordinated,” Huaisang replied. “You get </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> kind of toothbrush, so it doesn’t get confusing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning added, “When you have to swap them out, it’s best to just buy five at once.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian spoke up, “You might as well do that Zixuan, we have to switch them out soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m the only smart one, Wangji,” Huaisang nudged him. “I bulk buy for the whole year. Just grab them when I need them.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Smart,” Wangji agreed. “It’s nice you guys do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang moved to the kitchen. “It makes things a lot easier. We’re too spontaneous when it comes to sleepovers. I think at one time I had like sixteen at once because I had to keep going to buy a new one.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It was thirteen,” Zixuan corrected. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Same difference.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes, “How do you even know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang shot Jiang Cheng a look of annoyance. Jiang Cheng widened his eyes as if challenging Huaisang to say something.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan put his phone down, “We’ll only have to get four at a time though once Yanli and Wen Qing officially move in together,” he pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Three,” Huaisang corrected, his mouth full. “When I move into Wen Ning’s second room.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng muttered, “Wonder why you want to move in so bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian kicked his foot out towards Jiang Cheng’s back as a warning. Jiang Cheng ignored him, barely budging from the weak kick.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that,” Huaisang raised his voice. He heard him just fine.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng waved his hand, “Nothing, nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning pressed his lips together and pretended nothing was happening.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan refused to perceive Jiang Cheng.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Second room,” Wangji asked cautiously.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He has two rooms in their apartment,” Jiang Cheng answered. “The second is locked and no one knows what’s in it except the two of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang leaned against the counter beside Zixuan, “I have to guess correctly for it to be mine. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to move out of my brother’s house for a bit before we have to go back to Qinghe.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A shrine dedicated to Happy Feet,” he announced suddenly in all seriousness.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Has he guessed that already,” Wen Ning asked Wuxian quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan stared at Huaisang blankly before looking back to his friends. A clear ‘no’. Huaisang sighed in annoyance.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng suggested, “A coloring room.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Only I can guess, shut up,” Huaisang paused. “... A coloring room.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Wen Ning replied.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hello boys</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Yanli sang on her way into the apartment. “Oh god-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There are far too many men in here,” Wen Qing announced as she walked in.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you guys doing here,” Wen Ning asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan said he was stopping by,” Wen Qing answered. “I needed to give him his mail.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian stared at her in confusion, “His mail?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan took the envelopes in her outstretched hand, already knowing they were from Baling U. “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did his mail go to your apartment? You don’t even live in the same area?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter,” Wen Qing sat beside her brother.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan glanced through the mail. It had to do with summer enrollment. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang took one and skimmed over it before putting it back onto the counter. His phone kept vibrating in his pocket. After a while he pulled it out to see who could possibly want to talk to him so badly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>annoying</span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang tossed his phone down onto the counter, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Y’know what</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he said suddenly and harshly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone looked over, confused by the outburst.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang grabbed Zixuan’s face and kissed him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian hit a shocked Wangji’s arm in excitement, “I-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing laughed behind her hand; Yanli and Wen Ning’s eyes went wide while Jiang Cheng just screamed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was stunned, too slow to react at all by the time Huaisang let go of his face and spun around to face the room. “Are you fucking happy Jiang Cheng?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone, “I’m walking home.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian took Wangji’s sleeve and shook his arm, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ah</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Okay I didn’t think I’d ever actually see that again.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Possess my body for the day,” Wen Ning offered jokingly, “You’ll see it a lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan watched Huaisang storm out before facing his amused friends, “Well… This is awkward.” He cleared his throat and grabbed his things. “I’m… I’m going to drive him home… Bye.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They all waited for Zixuan to walk out before properly reacting. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“God </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wen Qing draped herself over Yanli.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Wuxian looked at their expressions. “You knew too?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Qing sat up, “Wait, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Who told you,” Yanli asked her brother.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Huaisang! Who told you?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Zixuan,” they answered together.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>They told you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jiang Cheng asked. “What the hell? I was just speculating!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you annoyed Huaisang by speculating,” Wangji replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, did </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> know,” Jiang Cheng asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning interrupted, “I think I should win an award for how long I’ve known.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Specify what you mean, do you mean dating because they only </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> started dating,” Wuxian asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning laughed and stood, “No, I don’t mean dating-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> it,” Jiang Cheng shouted. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> you were talking about them that one time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not my finest moment,” Wen Ning muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wuxian sighed, “Oh to be Zixuan’s roommate. Should’ve been me. I could’ve seen Huaixuan in all their glory.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>i am yanli.</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning sat in the back of Zixuan’s car. Minding his own business but also listening to the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> you I was going to fight him!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That was not fighting him,” Zixuan replied. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone else already knows,” Huaisang reminded him. “You can’t possibly be annoyed… You aren’t right.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No. I just-” he sighed. Zixuan whined and turned to Huaisang with a pout. “He’s going to be so annoying about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s already been annoying me about this! </span>
  <em>
    <span>For two weeks</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But now he’s going to bother </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang gasped. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Zixuan rushed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not,” Huaisang said at the same time Wen Ning said, “No he’s not,” from the backseat. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... Okay I’m not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang whined and slouched. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning chuckled, “He’ll stop in about a week now that he knows for sure. Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so I don’t hang out with him for a week,” Zixuan concluded. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’ll stop him,” Huaisang mumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s like a puppy,” Wen Ning said as they pulled up to Huaisang’s house. “Just let him be excited.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Zixuan sighed. He put the car into park and looked at Huaisang. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t pout,” Huaisang pouted back. “I had to deal with him for two weeks, not you. You don’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span> many times he asked me if we slept together and if </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> why we weren’t arguing anymore… Then he also asked if that’s why we were fighting to begin with.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning laughed loudly as he jumped out of the car. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rolled his eyes at Wen Ning’s enjoyment. “We weren’t fighting,” Zixuan mumbled to no one in particular.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning knocked on the passenger side window. He wanted to go home. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang gently pinched the top of Zixuan’s ear. “Your ears are still red.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s cute,” Huaisang hopped out of the car so Wen Ning could sit in the front. “Kiss his cheekies when you get home,” he said to Wen Ning. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Zixuan waited until Huaisang walked into the house before pulling away, “Do not kiss me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning switched the car’s bluetooth to connect to his phone instead. “Unless you paid me, I wouldn’t think of it anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jiang cheng is excitable</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>jc said “keep up” like he isn’t all over the place</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>tell him without telling him</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>bro</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>uno reverse</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/><br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan and wangji’s texts: a preview</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">zixuan tells wangji about wen nings second room </span>
</p><p> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0116"><h2>116. filler</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">they don’t do anything </span>
</p><p> <br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0117"><h2>117. Crash.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW/ car crash, parent death, injuries and hospital mentioned</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">zixuan hasn’t been around </span>
</p><p> <br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan hadn’t really seen his friends as much as he did before and he was starting to feel distant. Which wasn’t unusual for his summers, except this time it started before the semester even ended. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time, on top of his summer courses, he had taken up a </span>
  <em>
    <span>considerable</span>
  </em>
  <span> amount of work for his dad. He hadn’t completely left his job with Granny Xiao either. He loved it too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a lot. Frankly it was a surprise he was even at Huaisang’s house right now. But he needed somewhere to focus on his summer coursework. Somewhere where he wouldn’t fall asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wen Ning already asked him if he was going to be living at Carp Tower for the summer considering the amount of responsibilities he had picked up. While he didn’t want to, he was going to be spending more time there, and it was likely he had to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If it wasn’t for Wen Ning and Huaisang keeping him up to date he wouldn’t know anything that was happening with his friends. At all. He barely even checked social media. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was just completely removed from his friends' lives. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was it always going to be like this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He asked Huaisang one night, if he had to change how he was with his friends, especially those in line to become clan leaders. Huaisang had tucked Zixuan’s hair behind his ear sadly, “I’ve always been told that clan leaders don’t have friends. They have business partners. Friendship comes last.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard his dad say the same to him once. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why did it have to be like that? Why would he want that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure he did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue walked in, Lan Xichen following behind him. “It was awful,” he chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It sounds painfully awkward,” Xichen replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan looked up from his textbook from where he sat at the island. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue and Xichen were friends though. He couldn’t imagine them </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>being friends when they took over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mingjue slowed to a stop, “What are you doing here? I didn’t see your car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wen Ning needed it to get to work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Mingjue said slowly. “So where’s Huaisang?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Zixuan glanced around the space. “I don’t know? I haven’t seen him in a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe he’s taking a nap?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes naps are incredibly needed,” Xichen added in happily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I,” Zixuan chuckled, “Yes. They are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you,” Xichen asked. “I imagine your father is keeping you busy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bit of an understatement,” Zixuan said. “But it’s fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you ever-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All three of their phones went off at the same time. Twice.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They looked at each other in confusion as they reached for their cellphones. “That was weird,” Xichen stated before he saw the tweet alerts. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Another tweet notification popped up on their individual screens as they read updates. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Huaisang came padding into the kitchen from his bedroom, looking down at his phone, “Hey guys?” He looked up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The three looked up, stunned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>zixuan's phone</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>the following days; the media has been following the yunmeng trio around and twisting the friends defensive responses online for clickbait</span>
  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span> <br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0118"><h2>118. Phone Call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was a long ass summer. Longer than usual. And there was still a month before their senior year started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was trying to be present for his friends. Trying to take on more at Carp Tower. Trying to keep up with his incredibly overloaded summer course schedule. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was fucking exhausted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Typically he dropped trying to keep in touch with his friends but not this time. He just couldn’t bring himself to when half his friends were radio silent and in mourning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, are they not coming home,” Huaisang asked quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They are home, Huaisang,” Wen Ning reminded him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But,” Huaisang stopped himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let them do what they have to do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Has anyone actually spoken to them recently though,” Huaisang asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wen Qing,” Zixuan and Wen Ning said at the same time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang hummed sadly, tracing the lines on Zixuan’s hand. “I hate this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They weren’t not coming back. At least, if they were, no one knew when. And it wouldn’t be the three of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to bed,” Wen Ning trudged to bed without another word. He felt like shit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should’ve left already,” Huaisang said to Zixuan. “Are you tired?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Zixuan rolled off the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>”I’ll just have Xichen come pick me up in the morning so you don’t have to drop me off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan rubbed his eyes. “I’m just going to leave for Lanling in the morning,” Zixuan pulled Huaisang to a stand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay, I’ll just go home whenever that is then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be really early,” Zixuan pointed out as Huaisang wrapped his arms around his waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay. If I’m lucky I’ll wake Xichen up early and he’ll offer to make me breakfast then.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not sure that’ll happen twice in a row.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably not,” he sighed. “Hey, he’s friends with Yanli… sort of. Do you think maybe she talked to him? Maybe she told him something she didn’t mention to Wen Qing?” He was reaching. He knew that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to see all of his friends back in GCR. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t possible. He knew that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang frowned. Frankly he wanted to yell. He wanted to help his friends, and he just couldn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to talk to Wuxian. He just wanted to check in. Just one word from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Any of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan cupped Huaisang’s cheeks and placed a soft kiss on his pouty lips. “I know you’re worried,” he brushed his thumb against Huaisang’s cheek. “But we can’t do anything to help with this. We just have to support them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” his pout deepened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan kissed Huaisang’s forehead, “C’mon, let’s go to bed,” he took his hands, backing down the short hall. “I have to leave in a few hours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I apologize in advance if I wake you up again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang had sporadically been having nightmares all summer long. Everything was reminding him of his parents. From the accident. To the way cameras were always following his friends around. Seeing his own name in headlines again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huaisang was making it a habit to apologize every time he was falling asleep. Just in case. Just in case he woke up with a start. Just in case he woke up yelling. Just in case he woke up in a panic and jumped out of bed to call Mingjue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Huaisang mumbled as sleep overtook him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Huaisang wasn’t the one who woke up with a start. Zixuan was. Because his phone was ringing. Huaisang didn’t even react to the sound; he was too far asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan was a bit disoriented as he reached for his phone; he was used to answering his father’s phone calls in the middle of the night though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zixuan caught a glance of the name as he answered, “Wuxian,” he rubbed his eyes. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not Wuxian,” he heard Jiang Cheng’s voice instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you using Wuxian’s phone,” Zixuan pushed himself up so he wouldn’t accidentally fall back asleep; he’s made that mistake with his dad before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a long story,” Jiang Cheng replied. “I’m sorry it’s late; I… I didn’t know who else to call.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The distress in his voice was clear enough to get Zixuan on his feet and off into the direction of the kitchen. “It’s okay. Is something wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jiang Cheng sighed heavily. “I don’t know what to do, Zixuan. I really don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was crying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Talk to me,” Zixuan pulled out a coffee mug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sleep could wait.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>FIN. </strong>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hi friends! thanks for reading, and those who came from the original post on twitter, thanks for rereading!!! </p><p>please look forward to the next part of this story, sprouts, before circles pt. 2~</p><p>for the original twitter au:<br/>https://twitter.com/yuchensears/status/1320805443137056773</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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